A Year in Japan
A Year in JapanApril 2002
Settling In
I can`t believe that a month has already passed since I arrived in Japan. I feel as if I have been here for ever. I know my way around, where to find the cheapest food (stuff getting sold off at under half price late at night), the cheapest booze (unlike the UK, tax on alcohol is very low so a bottle of gin costs under £5 in the shops. Big Mistake!), and the cheapest petrol (there appears to be a price war going on and it ranges from 95 to 83 yen a litre). The exchange rate is about 192 Yen to the Pound. I was able to survive on my estimated budget of 60,000Y for my first month (excluding rent/car hire/utilities), which is good going, considering that I have a fully stocked freezer/all necessities and have made quite a few excursions.
By about the end of week three, the novelty of arriving in a new country had worn off. I was no longer a tourist and the reality of realizing that I was here to work for at least the next year, rudely slapped me in the face. So when the going gets tough, the tough stock up on beer. I have been lucky to buy western food at cheap prices and pretty much have an English diet (I can toast bread in the microwave for breakfast and spread terrible Japanese marmalade over it) and have scrapped any pretense of living on rice/noodles etc. But I still buy cheap Japanese food to try it out, without a clue to what it is. So one morning, I microwaved what I thought were pork balls in batter which turned out to be battered octopus balls. One way of starting of the day at 8am! I have also settled into a strange nocturnal lifestyle. I am typing this at the internet cafe at 2am, which is still busy and provides free ice cream. Four evenings a week, I do not get home until 11pm and I am wide awake from teaching and the drive/endless traffic lights (every single junction has a set and every minor road gets equal time!), so I have been staying up until 4 or 5 am, preparing my lesson plans (trying to stay a week ahead of the schedule), reading, listening to BBC World Service or Virgin Radio. I get up around 9 or 10am, do some chores (I waxed my wooden floor for the first time. I really miss carpets), go for a jog (now running an hour most days), cook a decent lunch and still have the early afternoon to kill before heading off for a school. This routine was working very well, until recently, when a noisy dog appears to have moved in across from the garden, and the little bugger barks it`s head off around 8am for over an hour. I haven`t seen it, but boy have I heard it. I have looked up rat poison in Japanese (Nezumi Doku) and I may be forced to buy some and sneak across on a stealth mission and spike its breakfast to shut it up. One of us will have to go and it won`t be me. That`s one less pampered pooch if I suffer any more rude awakenings. When I first arrived, I used to leave my sliding doors open and would occasionally find bird shit on top of my microwave and grass/hay on the floor which I thought had just blown in. Recently I have kept the mesh screen covering the opening. Imagine my surprise this morning, when I got down my sleeping bag in it`s bag to find a half built bird`s nest in it. The birds have obviously not been able to get in and have abandoned it. Which explains the birdshit and hay everywhere. One morning, the phone went at 6.15am. I had been in bed for less than an hour. The traditional Japanese greeting on the phone is `moshi moshi`. But all I could manage was `Urgh?`. It was Paul Rabbich, an old work colleague from the UK checking to see if my phone worked (thanks Paul! And yes it does). He invited himself over in October. My parents have also booked themselves in for August (seriously hot/humid weather) so if anyone else is planning a visit, these are my remaining holidays: April 28th to May 5th when I hope to visit the northern island of Hokkaido with lots of national parks and the free Brewery tour (as you do ¨C no one likes to turn down free beer), June 27th to July 3rd, November 17th to 24th, Dec 22nd to Jan 5th (I hope to do the southern islands of Kyushu and Skikoku and the south of this island called Honsho). I`d recommend that you come over a few days earlier than these dates to get over the jet lag. I`ll be teaching, but if you have the energy, you can always pop down to Toyko on day trips, an hour by train. I`d read about the Japanese habit of throwing out perfectly good equipment and last week, when I returned from a jog, there was a fridge/freezer sitting outside the flats. I lugged it up 3 floors to my room and plugged it in and it works. I now have double the fridge/freezer space so one fridge holds the healthy stuff and the other is stocked full of beer and unhealthy `Bob Food` (for middle of the night munchies: all the major food groups, beer, salt, sugar, crisps etc). Yesterday, I also found two CD/Tape/radio players in our garbage area. The CD players work (not that I have any), but at least I can use the tape decks to line up lesson tapes and no longer have to sit in the car like a sad individual lining up lessons on the car tape recorder. The Japanese are into recycling and we have to bag our rubbish according to burnables, tins, pop cans, glass etc. As I have lengthened my jogs, it appears that I can run for hours (given the energy and motivation) around the single tracks and flat farmlands, devoid of traffic. The locals are now converting their `putting greens` (of turf) into vegetable gardens, planting carrots, onions, sugar beet etc, under long lines of plastic protection, or gearing up for the rice season. The white cherry blossoms were beautiful until a gale blew them all away in one morning. The weather seems to change sporadically between nice hot sunny days and downpours that last most of the day.For my first proper teaching last week, I clocked up 20 hours (this should rise to 30 hours eventually) and I seem to be getting into the swing of things. It really helps to have all the lessons planned in advance, but it is like a treadmill. You finish teaching for the day, only to return to plan the next week`s lessons when the previous ones are fresh in my head and I can decide what to review or progress to. Many of the textbooks come with Teacher manuals which tell you how to plan the lessons and what to cover. But I am still trying to come to terms with all the resources available. Every school has a mass of games etc, all of which I can`t play, so I have to practice with them. There is nothing sadder than watching a grown man sitting there with a teddy bear jigsaw puzzle to learn the days of the week or listening to the songs for the kindergarten kids (though I am already a dab hand with the `Heads, shoulders, knees and toes` song).
And the students are getting used to having the strange loud fat English bloke putting them through their paces. I have been pleasantly surprised at my performance with the young kids 4 to 8. If I keep them active, have them running around and yelling out answers, and keep the activities short and sweet, they seem to have a great time. I left one group floundering on the floor out of breath after the running, jumping, hopping game. The High School and adult students are also very enjoyable to teach. I just plan the lessons at a level they can handle and they leave very pleased with themselves. Though I still have a problem with not using simple enough English. If a Japanese student does not know what you are talking about, they don`t say `I don`t know`. They just sit there and pretend they do. Shimodate School is my favourite (Tuesdays and Saturdays). Yuki, the young assistant brings in food for me that her mother cooks (chicken, rice, salad, chopsticks) or plies me with chocolates. She also explains things like the instructions on the back of the floor polish bottle or writes out instructions for shop assistants if I am looking for something in particular and even a neat little map to show me where the shop is. At Shimodate, I have continued to deal with 4 year old Tomoki, the child from hell. This is the problem child who just heads to the games and entertains himself without wanting to learn anything. I tried a new tactic of hiding most of the games, and not finding any of his favourites, he sulked. I did get his attention by hanging him upside down by his feet, trying not to teach him any swear words, but next week he can have his games back. As long as he is occupied, his mother doesn`t mind that he learns very little. The shy, timid, 4 year old girl, Shiho who turns up with her 10 year friend, Ren, finally said a few words on her second lesson with me. And they both laughed a lot, to the delight of their mother`s friend who sat in on the lesson and probably said `who is that fat bastard?` to them in Japanese. So progress at last. Koji, the 50 year old vet, told me (in broken English) about his wartime evacuation from Toyko and is taking me out to dinner next week. The Pachino Parlour King, also called Koji has discovered a common interest in golf and really enjoys his lessons. We discussed golf and the `Tin Cup` golf movie. At Ami School, I have introduced the game of Twister to my 8 year old class and they are seriously addicted. Last week, on my day off (Wednesday), I followed Shun (the school assistant) for an hour down to Yuki City to teach a 5.30pm two hour `Company Class` at an electrical wiring company. We were led past the open planned office where dozens of staff beavered away behind PCs to the reception room where Shun exchanged business cards with the company rep in traditional Japanese fashion. Shun bowed and held out his card in both hands (facing forwards so that the rep could read it) and the rep did likewise. They scrutinized the cards and introduced themselves. Unfortunately, Shun had forgotten to bring his shoes and was forced to wear his white golf shoes (complete with spikes), which would have been the first look at Shun the rep had. Shun then buggered off. Judging by the text book I had been given, I was expecting middle management types wanting to learn negotiating skills. Instead, a 26 year old customer relations girl called Mickey came in. The other two students were absent. It immediately became obvious that she had very basic English and two hours of asking her questions was like pulling teeth. She must have been exhausted. She also told me that she had the best English! The next day, Shun called to say that the company were not happy. I popped into HQ and had my first delicate negotiations ¨C Japanese style. In a reserved manner, I pointed out that the school had misinformed me of the level, that the text book was incorrect and I didn`t see why I should be the fall guy for their mistakes. The following Wednesday, Shun came back down with me (forgetting his shoes again and had to wear my sneakers, saying `you have really big feet`. (`Yeah? Well at least I remember my shoes, pal`) to act as a translator to make sure the students knew how the lessons would be conducted. An easier textbook had also been provided. The other female student, unfortunately called Shitsu, had a lower level of English and had to leave after an hour to pick up her kids. But I took them through a basic lesson. The company had provided us with a wicked piece of technology which was a whiteboard that when you pressed a button, copied down everything I wrote on the board and faxed and printed it to a sheet of A4 paper that I could give both students. Shun gave me subtle tips on explaining things when he could see that they didn`t understand. Just when I thought I was on top of the situation, the third student, 29 year old Tsuyoshi turned up and with only 6 months of English, he could hardly speak a word. Yet again the goalposts had been changed. Three different levels and the beginner would often miss the first hour (coming from a different company). But we came up with a plan. I would pick a topic, write down possible questions/answers and fax it to Mickey in advance, who would sit with the others and help them prepare. At the end of the lesson, it was nice to hear Shun say to me `you did a good job. They really like you and said you are much better than their last teacher`. Only time will tell. That evening, Danielle popped around. With different schedules, I hardly see her now. She suggested that we pop out to the local Transport Cafe just up the road, where I often see lines of trucks parked outside. A sign inside said `Open 6am. Crose 10pm`. It was your bog standard basic noodle bar with a 300 Yen special, a large bowl of noodle soup that needed serious chilli sauce to spice it up. The tiny buck toothed chef spoke no English but we pointed to the 300 yen sign on the window and he dished up the regular truckie meal and then sat with the waitress smoking and watching the Japanese version of `Who Wants To Be a Millionaire` on TV. This is identical in format to the English version, except that, obviously it is all in Japanese so god knows what the questions are, and the contestant`s family all gather at the front and scream and bounce around like Muppets when their relative gets the answer right and probably commit hari-kari when he fails miserably.
Last Sunday, I made another trip to Tokyo. I got off at Ueno (sounds like Wheno) Park, a few stops north of Central Station. As one of Toyko`s largest open spaces, it contains a host of museums including the prestigious Tokyo National Museum, plus a few relics from the vast temple that was originally built here. It was quite busy with early morning groups of Japanese that had come to traditionally gather beneath the remaining cherry blossom trees to drink, picnic and chew the fat. Large tarpaulin sheets were laid out, people removed their shoes and started on the wine and beer to `welcome the Spring`.
As I entered the park, there was a large bronze statue of the Saigo Takamori walking his dog. The `Great Saigo` had led the Restoration Army and helped bring the Emperor Meiji to power, but had rebelled again him, unsuccessfully in 1877, and had committed ritual suicide. With a large bald head and fat ugly face, he looked like a football hooligan walking his pit bull terrier. The red lacquered Kiyomizu Temple (1631) had a plain exterior, but was crammed of artifacts. A side chapel contained piles of dolls where women hoping to conceive leave a traditional offering (a cabbage patch doll?). These are all burnt in a sad ceremony on September 25th. The temple overlooked Shinobazu Pond, now a wildlife protection area and home to a permanent flock of large sqwarking, shitting balck cormorants and migrating wildfowl. It was strange to see them all surrounded by ugly urbanization all around. The park also contains, by the look of the queues, a very popular zoo. I spent two hours checking out the National Museum, Japan`s oldest and most important. Three main buildings contain the world`s largest collection of Japanese art from ancient 4th Century archeology to modern day, and an extensive collection of oriental antiquities. Incidentally, when you spin an Oriental person around and around do they become disorientated? It was all well presented but very low key. Not exactly rivaling the British Museum in London or the Cairo Museum in Eygpt, but worth a morning. I dashed across town by express train to Kichuoji in Western Tokyo to meet up with Bryan Norton. Back in 1978/79, I had spent a year in Buffalo, New York as a Rotary exchange student. One of my host families were the Nortons. The father, Nick, an attorney, had the most awesome private collection of Modern Art (Andy Warhol originals, sculptures etc) I`d ever seen in someone`s home and really sparked off my interest in it. Since then, he has donated most of it to the Albright Knox Modern Art Gallery in Buffalo, one of the best in the USA. His massive ecletic album collection was also an education in itself. He and his wife Alex, had three children, of which Bryan was the oldest. When I`d last seen Bryan in 1979, he was an intense, spotty, ice hockey mad 15 year old. I had last seen the Nortons in 1986, after I hitched across the US/Canada, but by then, Bryan was already living in Japan. Today, aged 38, he looked just like I remembered his father. Meeting me at the train station, we immediately adjourned to a western restaurant where Bryan ordered half the menu of chicken/lamb cutlets, pork, and pizza, that covered our table and the beers started to arrive at very regular intervals. It was time to catch up with two decades of life stories. Bryan had had an amazing topsy turvy life of trial and error, failures and successes. He told me how his initial interest in Japan came about when Buffalo`s traditional steel industries took a hammering from cheap Japanese imports in the late 70`s and decimated the city.¡®Who were the people doing this?` he said. After studying American/Japanese relations at University, he`d decided to move over here and had been here ever since. He`d set up companies with friends that went broke, taught English, become a stock broker, set up an ice hockey gear shop (the first and biggest in Japan) with his brother Greg operating from the US, and in 1996, he had set up one of the first internet companies in Japan. Greg took care of the US side and they now had Mastercard and Gillette as their major clients and the company with 9 employees was finally making a profit. He had married a Japanese girl, Hideko and had a 4 year old daughter, Kiyana. Since they were out of town visiting he folks, he was on `parole` which was why we were meeting up today. Bryan was still as intense as ever. After 17 years here, he was completely fluent in all levels of Japanese language and intimately knew how Japanese society worked. `Look out there`, he pointed from our first floor restaurant, down at the crowds below. `Everyone of those people look and appear to behave the same, but everyone wants to be somebody special. But they live in a society where they are forced into conformity and acting the same and it often drives them mad`. He explained the two states of Japanese behaviour. `Tatemae is what you show/express to others, which can include family as well as new acquaintences. Honne is what a person really feels, a straight translation could take you to honesty but honesty deals more with facts than feelings. Honne has been translated to mean true feelings`. As a Ganjin (foreigner), I only saw Tatemae, but Bryan now felt that he could spot the Honne side of anyone he met. `I can pretty much £Eok at someone and know their position in society, what they are feeling and why`. Along with all the tips about teaching English, it was a very educational afternoon. `Its nice to meet someone who still enjoys a beer. Most of my friends have quit` he concluded. God knows what the meal/beer cost but Bryan generously picked up the tab. After the meal, he took me for a stroll around the local park. Kichuoji is a very fashionable area and over 2500 westerners are permanently based here. The park was full of cherry blossom groups. The lake was full of carp (not Goipu as I thought in an earlier email). Breeders dump in the carp that have defects and they were huge with gaping mouths poking out of the water waiting to be fed (`they can have your finger off`) The orange/whites ones were worth thousands of pounds and even the large plain grey ones are worth a stack. Reluctantly, I had another appointment and we arranged to meet in a couple of months (`My treat` I offered), and I dashed back across Toyko via the efficient subway system. You can just buy a card worth x amount and the trips are deducted, or if you are not sure, you can buy a minimum ticket (The machines have English translations) and pay the difference at the other end. Somehow, I lost my single ticket en route, The ticket collector waved me through with a `No problem` (which was nice). Returning to Ushiko station near Tsukuba, I headed for Ryan and Angie`s. This was a married American couple who were teachers at the school and were having an `Italian Pot Luck` afternoon/evening. Everyone brought food/booze. About 20 of the teachers were there and I met some new faces. I was asked where I`d been and explained seeing Bryan for the first time since 1979. `God, I was born that year` piped up bubbly blonde Joan, a Canadian. `Yes and Bryan wants to apologize for that. He forgot to wear protection that night`, which brought the house down. But I was the last to arrive around 8pm, and shagged out and bloated by the afternoon with Bryan was the first to leave around 11pm. Inevitably, I got my second wind and stayed up most of the night only to be woken by that that bloody dog!Next update:The past 10 days has seen strange weather patterns around Tsukuba; howling gales with hot humid weather that erupt into evening thunderstorms. I plod around my hour long jogging circuit with the wind in my face, but still sweating like a pig. Then endless sunny days arrived.
The local farmers have been flooding their ploughed fields and planting the rice crops. I`m surrounded by water. Unlike the back breaking work that I witnessed around SE Asia, the Japanese have mechanized the whole process. They just drive their tractors around with boxes of rice plants on the back and a rotating spindle that automatically drops 6 plants into the mud in neat lines.
Word must have got around the dog neighbourhood that a fat foreigner was looking for the `Hound From Hell` to rip his lungs out with a pair of chopsticks. He laid low during the gales but the sun has boosted his courage again. He`s a goner if I catch him.
I completed 22 and 24 hours of teaching over the last fortnight. New classes get slotted in, while other students drop out due to work pressures or pleading poverty to pay for more lessons.
On Tuesdays at Shimodate School, I have got used to Tomoki, the 4 year old `Child From Hell`. I have discovered that if I hang him upside down by his ankles and bang his head into the hard floor, he soon gets the message. As long as I can keep him occupied with short activities, he seems fine. Shiho, the tiny timid 4 year old girl is also starting to talk more and participate. Yuki, the assistant that runs the school said `you are very popular with the small children (for a fat bastard)`.
My Junior High School Class of 5 students has Masahiro, the youngest (15) who always looks so dozy, that I have taken to bouncing a furry dice off his head to wake him up to ask questions in English. Other groups find it amusing when I fail to find the right lesson on tape and end up hurling the tape across the room with `Bugger it`. How long I wonder before the heard the real language. I was observed by Steve at the HQ school (my first monthly observation) which seemed to go ok. He will give me feedback later (probably `why don`t you start looking for another job`).
One Sunday, we had a (paid) campaign day. I spent the afternoon at Shimodate interviewing potential students. If a small kid is applying, you just take them through a short lesson, to ascertain their colours/numbers etc. For the adults, there is a set of questions that increase in difficulty (present/past/future tenses) to gauge their level. I was lucky in that 3 of the 5 students were fluent girls (18-29) so it was very easy. Essentially, you are selling yourself so that they will join. But fitting them into an already packed schedule is the biggest problem, especially if they can only attend in the evenings.
I attended the first of my free Japanese lessons at the Information Centre at 9.30am on a Tuesday morning. The various classes sat in a room for the formal opening ceremony, where the impeccably dressed 50 something male Director (Yoshio Enzaki) of the Ibaraki International Association, made a speech that was translated into English. He made statements like `We are ready and willing to help you`, `you have our glatitude` and failure to attend at least 80% of the lessons will be deemed unsatisfactory. So it looks like I`m due a free trip to the Burma Railroad later in the year. Carl, a 23 year old Belfast teacher from my school, arrived late, looking half dead. Like me, he had been up until 5am. The low winded ceremony went on for an hour with polite applause after every sentence. The groups all had their photos taken afterwards.
Our 20 odd (with only 4 westerners, the rest were Chinese, Korean, Kenyan, Lao, Banglasdeshi) Beginners Class was split off into another room with 4 female University students as our teachers. Part of the course is to read and write in Japanese, and we were subjected to the Hiragana and Katakana alphabets with about 45 characters each, just for starters. Lots of drills through ka, ki, ku, ke, ko, sa, shi, su, se, so (Ad nuseum). I was so bored I disgraced myself by falling asleep mid way through. The second week was much better and we actually started learning some useful phrases like `eigo ga dekimas ka` (do you speak English so we can communicate in a proper language). But I`ll miss the next two weeks when I am away on my travels.
Every year during the middle of April, the various science institutes in Tsukuba open up their facilities for public tours for `Science Week`. They range from Materials science, crop science, livestock and grasslands to meterological instruments, automobile research and the `Centre for Better Living`. I was too tired to take advantage of this but on Saturday morning, I dragged myself off to the NASDA Space Centre in the middle of the city, surrounded by parklands and lakes to take in the `Open Day`. It was geared up for the kids and packed with families. Everyone got an inflatable rocket shaped balloon which with its two thrusters at the bottom looked almost obscenely phallic. Children holding inflatable penises. In Japan?
There were lots of exhibitions and touchy/feely stuff for the kids and various competitions to answer questions and get free trinkets. Since I couldn`t read Japanese, I was forced to bully small children and steal their answer sheets so I got my freebies. I`m that cheap. The Space Centre specializes in Satellite technology. There are vast sparten buildings where prospective Satellites are driven in through 5-story tall doors for acoustic/vibration testing before they are launched into Space somewhere else. There was also a mock up of the Space Station being built in space and the Japanese participation in constructing it. Experiments are being carried out in space to see how plants grow without gravity and how things like newts breed. It was all very interesting and unlike NASA, photography was permitted everywhere.
The Cherry Blossoms in the Tsukuba area have ended their short existence and now it is time for the Azaleas. On my Sunday off, I drove across the Mt Tsukuba range of mountains to check out the Flower Park in Yasato, full of colourfully arranged tulips (one must do for my parents` visit). Immaculate villages nearby all had flagpoles with arrays of long brightly coloured carp wind socks that inflated in the wind. It is the Carp Streamer Festival time in Japan (Koi Nobori).
Kasama up the road was holding its Azalea Fair, where 35,000 neatly crammed and pruned azalea bushes were in full bloom on a hillside. A dense mass of purple, white, red, pink and orange flowers contrasted vividly against the light/dark green trees on surrounding hills. From the air, it must have looked like someone had splattered a hillside with dollops of primary colours. Absolutely stunning. At the top were various BBQ stalls and groups of Japanese visitors enjoying their day off with picnics. Sadly, we were all beaten back to our cars when a howling storm started. As usual, there were clean public toilets everywhere, and even the portaloos had mobile handbasins outside. The Japanese are obsessed with cleanliness and scrub themselves senseless everyday.
I can`t fault the garage service. At my 83Y (43p) a litre place, the young attendant clicks his heels and bows as I drive in. He hands me a wet cloth to wipe the steering wheel/dashboard etc, while he fills it up and does all the outside windows. Then he stands in the middle of the road to wave me out when the coast is clear.
Those roadworks I told you about earlier, where two men stand at either side waving batons at each other, look even stranger at night. They don flashing red light jackets and their batons are neon lit like Star War lasers. Huge spotlights cover the ongoing work and it all looks like a scene from a second rate Science Fiction movie (like `Tron`).
Japanese driving has continued to appaul me. They only indicate at the last moment, and always seem preoccupied with their mobile phones in their hands. Two teachers have written off their cars in the last fortnight (one had the top sliced off and she was nearly killed). We discovered that we are only covered for personal injury and third party. If it`s your fault, you pay for the repairs. Ouch! New comprehensive insurance is being offered for about £12 extra a month and I am seriously thinking of buying my own car and getting my own insurance. I did 1300km mileage to the schools and back in the month of April (which will be reimbursed). I saw my first Japanese police roadblock, inspecting driver documents. The Police even wear their hats while in their cars.
I continue to read about the prospective World Cup in the Japan Times. The Japanese think that `hooliganism` is when supporters take off their shirts, wave flags and sing. Apparently, the British Embassy and ex-pats in Tokyo have taken to the streets to educate the locals that normal football behaviour is not hooliganism. That said, the British Ambassador was later arrested for being drunk, half naked, draped in a Union Jack and attacking the Japanese officials with screams of `Come on, if you think you`re hard enough!` (well, maybe not).
The Tokyo Riot police have been holding mock battles to test out their new weapons. Huge nets are automatically sprayed out of armoured vehicles over supporters to contain them up and they have large neon lit signs in various languages saying `Stop Singing!` (which is nice). The stadiums will allow beer to be sold `one at a time` from 90 minutes before kick-off until half time. The officials are also trying to put off the English supporters by claiming that the beer will cost £10 each. (just head for the supermarkets boys) Incidentally, with the economic recession, fruit beers (as in Belgium) have become all the rage. Equal strength, but taste of strawberry, lemon etc and half the price of normal beer. I think I`ll stick to regular malt ales.
Expensive `Hooligan Insurance` is being offered to all tourist establishments and 1000 hotels and restaurants have already signed on. In Sapporo, one of the venues on the northern island of Hokkaido, the courts have been cleared of all legal cases in June, pending the arrest of hundreds of supporters (and you pay for your stay in Japanese prisons). Finally, women and children there, have been advised to lock themselves in their houses on any match day where England is playing which brings new meaning to the phrase `Lock up your daughters`. It all makes me feel rather proud to be English!
I`m off to Hokkaido next week during my 10 day `Golden Week` national holiday so I hope to give them an idea of what to expect; a drunken, bumbling fool saying `got a spare ticket mate!, If not, where are your daughters?`.
