A Year in Japan

March 2002

Another day, another flight. On Wednesday March 13th at 6pm, I left England after a very comfortable five month sojourn (thanks to my parents) and flew a cramped 10 hours with Cathay Pacific to Hong Kong, After a two hour layover, a four hour connection took me on to Narita Airport, Tokyo - arriving 27 hours after leaving. It was 9pm Thursday 14th. I had gained 9 hours and a day ahead of the UK. It would take a week to get over the jetlag.

Japanese immigration issued me with a 90 day holiday visa. Customs asked if I was carrying any alcohol or drugs (Me? With my reputation?). I was met by Shun, the 40 year old Bernard School secretary. We drove for an hour NE of Narita through dark sleepy suburbs to my new home in Tsukuba, (pronounced `Skuba`). I was dropped off at my new flat and made myself at home.

My flat was on the 3rd floor of a small apartment block of about 30 flats. It was much more spacious than I imagined it would be,but typical Japanese compactness and utilitarian use of space - a small hall, with toilet off to the right, the bedroom/lounge was about 30 x 15ft with a polished brown wooden floor. There was a bed/duvet, desk/chair, a phone (yet to be connected), a fridge freezer, microwave (which also toasts bread!), a tiny kitchen area with sink/gas hob, separate washroom and bathroom with hot shower and a soaking bath (about 4ft long). Loads of built in cupboards/wardrobe, a iron ,small board and hoover. Also an air conditioner/heater, sliding doors to balcony overlooking the garden.

Everything is controlled digitally and it was a matter of trial and error to find out how it all worked. There is also a 240 channel stereo radio and I was pleased to find the BBC World Service and amazed to pick up Virgin Radio live from the UK, One channel just has sounds of nature and bird song! It was spotlessly clean upon arrival and every utensil had been replaced with new ones (inc iron/hoover).There are apparently 9 other teachers here, amongst the Japanese tenants but I hardly see anyone. The neighbours are as quiet as mice. For all this I will be paying about £340 a month (61,500 Yen).

I was pleasantly surprised when dawn broke (not that I slept) at 5.30am that my balcony overlooked the garden, mostly dried grass/turf, with Japanese designs of circles/hexagons, plum trees just starting to blossom pink and a woodland of fir trees behind it (and a bloody great towering steel electricity pylon). It was very peaceful and almost looked like a rural German suburb. Away from the main road, there was no sound of traffic. I had anticipated high rise towers everywhere and no space. Instead, I was based in rural tranquility,about 10km from the centre of Tsukuba.

I started a new routine of a 40 min morning jog. Running past the woodlands, I passed a small compact Japanese cemetery and jogged along empty single track lanes across flatlands of small plots of land where the locals seemed to be cultivating turf. Some were ploughing the next batch with hand held motorized ploughs (like lawnmowers with a blade), or ripping up the dried turf into small bundles. It was rather a shock to see illegal tipping going on in the bushes – washing machines, stereos etc. But I could jog in peace with no cars. The 15`C morning temperature during the first week, produced much sweating unless it was very windy and dust blew all around, usually into my mouth.

Later that first day, I was driven to the central office of Bernard School and introduced to Yuko Bernard, the tiny female director and her equally petite staff. I tried to use some of the Japanese I`d learnt before coming. Hajimemashite - how do you do, Bob desu - I`m Bob, doozo yokoshiku - pleased to meet you, ohayo gozaimus - good morning, arigato gozaimus - thank you, Hai! - yes and ja matte ne - see you later.

I filled in a few forms and was presented with my car, a blue Mitsubithi something, shaped like a miniature ice cream van! Not the world`s sexiest car but essential to my job. I will be renting this for about £100 a month, but get the petrol paid for the commuting around schools. I am allowed to drive it within a 100km radius of Tsukuba. But I am already thinking of buying my own. Decent second hand cars are going for about £500 in auctions and I’d have unlimited distance for sightseeing. The two year road tax is a bit of a killer though.

At HQ, I also met Margot, the loud friendly 50s something Brisbane woman who had recruited me via the internet. To get some Japanese money, we visited the central post office which had ATMs with English translation but the ATMS are only open from 9-5! which seemed to defeat the objective of 24 hour availability.

She took me to a garage to fill up the car (Mantan onegai shimas - fill her up). As I pulled into the forecourt, the young male uniformed attendants snapped to attention and bowed. Petrol is about 50p (90Y) a litre. While the tank was filled another attendant washed down all the windows. They both bowed as I drove away.

The nearest supermarket is only 3 mins drive from home and there is a fruit/veg stall at the end of the road. I pottered around and checked prices. I was relieved to see that much of the food was about English prices. There was a bakery section (too expensive but they had free pizza tasting!), fish sections (free seaweed and pickled octopus samples), and the usual supermarket stuff. The first few days would see me exploring various supermarkets to compare prices. Beer was competitively priced – less than one Pound for a half litre, 5.5% can – lots of choice and lots of malt beers. Lemonade was called `Pocari Sweat` - but the tap water is fine. There are also 100Yen shops (50p shops) where you can buy all the little extras (bathroom mats, utensils, plates, stationary etc). I visit these a lot!

I had the weekend off before training, so rather than sit around, I decided to explore the area by car – without a map! The Japanese drive on the left hand side like the UK and are generally very courteous, obeying the 40-60kph speed limits in urban areas. On Saturday, I pottered around for about 200km and ended up at the base of Mt Tsukuba – a small jolt of isolated mountains just outside town. The road numbering became confusing and after driving around in circles, I pulled into a Suzuki showroom to ask for directions. Noone spoke English but 4 people ran around grabbing maps and bowing and tried to sketch a map. I couldn`t follow it and ended up at the Central Police Station downtown after dark, where they drew a better map to get me home 10km away. In my first week of 100s of kilometers of driving, I have yet to see a policecar – apparently they hide and are merciless if you get caught. The trees often have a metal copy of the back of a police car attached which in the dark can often take you by surprise and you slow down.

Danielle arrived the day after me and moved into my block. She is a 32 year old Brisbane woman who did film and TV production at University as a mature student but had become frustrated at being unable to break into the Oz movie industry and fancied trying something different. She had arrived very unprepared. On Sunday, I offered to take her for a spin - to get lost.

We drove to the base of Mt Tsukuba and visited the Shinto (Japanese religion) temple where locals came to get married. The small hamlet was full of souvenir shops and elderly Japanese hikers who either climbed the mountain or caught the cable car. It was very overcast so climbing seemed pointless today. Every telegraph pole was decorated with pink paper flowers and a huku (Poem) attached. The temple complex was very compact. Lots of small shrines, ornately pruned bushes and rock pools with ladels to drink the water.

A Japanese wedding was taking place in the main temple. The tiny bride was dressed in a traditional white flowing kimono and outrageously large headwear covering a massive black hairpiece that was wound around her head. The bridegroom was dressed like an off-duty samurai warrior in flowing gown and black hairpiece. We watched as they knelt on a bench and a priest waved various props around, banged on a drum and blessed various things. The immediate families stood to the sides. Ladies in waiting (also dressed to the nines) and official photographers waited outside. Other locals would walk up to the front of the temple, clap their hands twice (to awaken the spirits), bow and drop money into a long trough. They would write messages on pieces of white paper and tie them to wire racks. When the official photos were being taken, as the only Westerners there, we were invited to have our photos taken with the couple. Another couple was already rolling up for their ceremony. The Shintu religion is used for happy events (births, marriages, coming of age etc), while Buddhism takes care of funerals and other sober events.

The Japanese like to pay attention to detail (food preparation is like an art form in the supermarkets) and in the sleepy hamlets, there would be finely manicured bushes and trees and a family shrine in every garden. The houses were low two story buildings with heavy black overhanging tiled roofs and a square wooden entrance also with an ornate roof. I noticed that the school buses all had large cat faces painted on the front. At road works, there were no traffic lights. Instead a workman would stand at either end and wave a long baton around, signaling to the other one when he was letting traffic through. They would often bow as I passed by and I found myself bowing behind the wheel.

In Japan, the customer is king and everyone appears to do everything possible to ensure that you are graciously welcomed and taken care of. My first impression was of the most polite and courteous people I`d ever come across. They literally jump to attention sometimes. One example was at HQ when I handed over a petrol receipt to a secretary, expecting it to be repaid later in the week. Instead, she dropped everything and gave me my money within 2 minutes. It is something to be aware of and I have to try and get across that not everything is urgent.

Another strange sight was of people wearing face masks (even in their cars with the windows up). They looked like off lazy surgeons who couldn`t be bothered to change before leaving the hospital. This is their attempt to counteract Spring allegies like hay fever as the trees and flowers all start to blossom.

I was surprised at how quickly I settled in and I soon got my bearings. The school was delighted at my self sufficiency. They have adopted a new policy of recruiting older people who are more worldly wise and who can adapt quickly without being overwhelmed by the culture shock. That said, I feel as if I have been a mere observer of the culture in my first week without getting involved. The Japanese people are notorious for their privacy and it can a while before a `ganjin` (foreigner) is allowed into their rituals. Everything is obviously in Japanese which I can`t read but is still very westernized. You see the word `Sale` in the supermarket and McDonalds, KFC and 7-11s are everywhere.

Tsukuba Science City and Tsukuba itself is a relatively modern city, designed in 1963. Its like a Japanese Milton Keynes. There is even a space centre in the middle of town. Along with the 167,000 population, there are apparently 6,000 foreigners (mostly Chinese) working around the area – not that I`ve seen many. I was surprised that noone has stopped to stare at me – even in the supermarkets. It feels very comfortable but a bit like being an alien where you are allowed to go about your business with a complete lack of hassle. Noone has run up to ask me any questions.

On the Monday and Tuesday, Danielle and I had two half days of orientation and training with Margot. We were given loads of background on how to live in Japan, the resources available (eg there is an International Centre downtown with Western magazines/info and the University even sells English books). We also learnt about Bernard Schools (14 private English schools with 20 or so western teachers moving around them). Margot took us through the age groups and gave us examples of how the different age groups are taught. There are different set texts for each grade. She took us through lesson examples from Kindergarten through to High School and above. We will get our teaching schedules next week at the end of the Spring recruitment period. We also started crash Japanese lessons with Shun. It takes a lot of practice to make it stick and say the words properly, but I seem to be coping. No Japanese is spoken in the lessons – just English.

On the Monday evening, I was introduced to Steve, from Chelmsford, Essex. He has been in Japan for 4 years and helps run the teaching side with Margot. He is my age and very pleased to have another Englishman out here to join him for the occasional beer. He had called me from Japan before I left and I had pumped him with questions for an hour. He had asked me to bring him some HP Baked Beans (unavailable in Japan, but Margot soon swiped one of the tins herself). I sat in and watched him assess a 4 year old who was joining. Lots of running around and testing the boy on colours, numbers and commands. I will be assessing students of all ages.

I was also dropped in the deep end that night and spent an hour chatting (`free conversation`) with one of my students. She was a doctor and completely fluent in English having studied it for 10 years. We chatted about her research in Diabetics, what the Japanese health system was like as compared to the English one. She was shocked to here that our Government was sending patients over to France to shorten waiting lists.

Afterwards, Steve who had sat in with us, took me to a local bar for a beer. It was just like a smart English inn with antiques everywhere, pine woodwork and a pleasant ambience. We had a couple of `half and half` beers (Malt beers) which cost £3.50 a glass. Ouch! Good job it was Steve`s treat. Ironically, there is `zero tolerance` of alcohol while driving – ie forbidden, but everyone seems to do it anyway. The police are pretty ruthless. Outside, Steve noticed one of my headlamps had blown and laughed `the police love to do people for that`. So on my fifth night in Japan, I not only faced that but drink driving. Thanks Steve! Fortunately, it was only a 5km drive home down an empty road.

I had already taken the car in for an oil change. I just presented a sheet issued by the school with both Japanese and English. Mechanics snapped to attention and it was done while I waited. Imagine turning up in England and getting immediate service.

With such a law abiding society, crime seems non existent. I even left my car unlocked one night outside the flats. Japanese society believes that everyone should contribute as individuals to the collective good of the nation. At the same time, it is often criticized because people show no emotion and little individuality because they are all trying to fit in.

On the radio, there was an item about how the Japanese authorities were planning to deal with the concept of football hooliganism during the forthcoming World Cup. They were planning to lay on workshops for the supporters in traditional Japanese arts like flower arrangement and tea ceremonies! Can you see Britain`s finest turning their backs on the bars to participate in these. They appeared to be a little confused about the whole issue. Apparently, during soccer games they just sit there and watch the action (unless it is a local derby) and would need to follow the example of foreign supporters to actually make some noise.

There are two stadiums with an hours drive that have games going on, but all tickets were sold out months ago, so I`ll probably have to watch it on TV though late tickets may be released nearer the time. You can buy a TV with built in video recorder for about £110.

Jetlag – this is the first time I have ever suffered from it – flying into the East. My body clock has been completely wrecked for a week.. I only slept for a total of 24 hours in the first week. I would crash at 10pm, wake up at 1am and stay up all night – eating my main meal at 3am (6pm UK time). I seem to be staying up for 24 hours at a stretch and still can`t sleep.

Earthquakes – I felt my first tremor one morning at 3am. The flat shook while I was reading for a minute and then it all went quiet again. They are very frequent.

Slippers – I am getting used to removing my shoes before entering my flat and the school. I will have to wear them while teaching.

Internet – there is a massive 24/7 place in town – at about £2.75 an hour. I am having to get used to the Japanese keyboard which has all the grammer characters in the wrong place, plus a stack of Japanese ones. My fingers keep hitting a button that makes it all come out in Japanese. I hope to buy a PC pretty soon and have an internet link in the flat

Food – I had been sticking to regular staples like noodles and tinned fish, but discovered that like every supermarket, they sell off all the fresh stuff cheaply at the end of every evening. So I play Japanese roulette with whatever is going cheap. I don`t know what it is, but I buy it to try it. I bought what I thought was a litre of chocolate milk. It turned out to be cold filter black coffee which was a bit of a surprise. Eating out is really expensive and I won`t be doing much of that.

It has been great having Danielle around and makes it more enjoyable to enter a new culture with the company of another novice rather than walking around like a sad lonely individual. She was very nervous of orientating herself around in her car – so I either draw her a map and get her to follow me or ride shotgun while she tries to do it on her own. We prowl the supermarkets and 100Yen shops for the bargains and practice our Japanese on each other. Of course, when we start teaching we will have different schools and schedules and will hardly see each other, She has been a little homesick, missing her twin sister, but excited by her move and seems to appreciate me dragging her around to do things. I promised not to call her `a right dag` to my readers back home.

Weather – it poured with rain on my first morning, but has been dry all week until tonight. Apparently the humidity of July/August is hellish here. They have a 2 week wet season in early July before it starts. The climate ranges from total snow in the north in winter to humid tropics in the south at the same time.

Geography – Japan is about one and half times the size of the UK spread over 4 major islands linked by bridges and tunnels. 80% of it is mountainous and the majority of the 127m people live in a 1000km stretch of flatland on the main island of Honshu. It is just an endless urban sprawl with 17m people in Toyko at one end. Tsukuba is at the tail end of this ugly mess of concrete and mass consumerism.

Holidays – I get 60 days off a year (double the normal schools) but will work 6 days a week with most Sundays off. Some of these will also be taken up with open days, recruitment, picnics etc. My holidays are fixed so anyone who wants to come out and visit, this is a list of my major breaks so start thinking about when you want to come. April 28th – May 3rd, June 27th – July 3rd, Aug 11th – 18th, Oct 13th – 17th, Nov 19th-24th, Dec 22nd – Jan 6th. We pretty much work through from there until a week in late March (which I am having now).

Work visa – it will take about 2 months to process this, although I start working from next Monday 25th. The school will pay for me to fly to either South Korea or Taiwan to pick it up and re-enter Japan with a proper work visa. Then I can also apply for a `Ganjin` card. (foreign residents card).

All in all, it`s been an exciting first week and I have spent the last few days on holiday exploring some of the famous sights which I`ll describe in the next update. I should also have a phone by next week. The hard work is about to start...

Let`s start with the toilets which I forgot to mention last time. My flat has a western toilet except that the cistern has a basin like top and the water fills from outside so you can wash your hands without using a separate wash basin. The toilet also has a heatable toilet seat with 3 settings. Apparently, it gets pretty cold here in winter! The toilet at HQ has some kind of plastic consul on either side with lots of buttons to push (all in Japanese). Margot says she has been too scared to push any of them, but I think, late one night, I`ll sneak in, drop my pants and see what happens – I hope a giant claw doesn`t appear from somewhere.

The school had a holiday between March 20-24th so I decided to explore further afield on a few excursions. Danielle accompanied me to the city of Narita, after which the nearby International Airport is named. In the centre of town lies the famous Naritisan Shinsho-Ji Temple complex which has stood on the present site since 1705, succeeding an earlier one nearby dating from 940. It is the temple of the unusual Shingon sect of esoteric Buddhism which is known for its ascetic practices. People can even bring their cars here to be blessed by priests for safety (results not guaranteed!). There was a colourful 3-storey pagoda (1711) which was decorated with fiercesome gilded dragon heads snarling from under brightly painted rafters.

We climbed up the steps to the Great Hall, from where we had heard drumming. We entered to join the pilgrims who were witnessing a strange ceremony. Two priests sat by an open fireplace in front of the shrine and kept a blazing fire going with lots of incence smoke. They lit candles while another priest banged a large drum. A kneeling line of priests, dressed in flowing ornate kimonos sat watching the fire and kept up a rapid staccato mantra. The 100 or so pilgrims joined in the hypnotic high pitched warbling and watched the flames creep up to the overhanging gilded chandeliers. I expected a small child to be thrown onto the fire as a sacrifice but the strange atmospheric ceremony abruptly ended and everyone filed out.

It was a huge complex full of modern shrines and temples that had been relocated here. Behind the Great Hall were 20 hectares of the Narita-San-Koen, an attractively landscaped park with false hills, woodland, manicured Japanese gardens and ponds full of huge orange and white Goipu fish and small turtles. Outside the complex, the narrow streets were lined with restaurants. Outside every one was a glass case with a replica of every dish on offer and prices to match.

We had found the temple easily, but getting out of Narita was another matter and we drove around endlessly until we recognized an intersection. I discovered that every `prefecture` has its own road numbers identical to the next one – but they are actually different roads which explains why I got so hopelessly lost on my first drive last week.

Back in Tsukuba, we visited a late night supermarket that was selling off all its fresh food and filled a basket with god knows what. Armed with a dozen large, different cans/types of beer, we had an impromptu food and beer tasting session in my flat that lasted until 5am (as you do). Something would get shoved in the microwave and `tastes like shit, but you can eat it` seemed to be the general conclusion, but the beer tasted great and with Virgin Radio blaring out, I was surprised the neighbours weren`t banging on the walls..

When Danielle called round at 10am the next morning, she looked like how I felt, and if I looked any worse than she did, I would have been clinically dead. Blame it on the continuing jetlag – the beer had nothing to do with it! It was March 21st and a public holiday - `Vernal Equinox Day` - the first day of Spring. We had originally planned a visit to Toyko, by train, but by the time we got going and failed miserably to find the train station outside town where we could leave the car, I decided to drive in. Big mistake! Central Tokyo is less than 80km south, but the roads were gridlocked with holiday traffic and we crawled through the endless ugly conurbations of shopping malls, fast food franchises and unrelentless series of traffic lights. There appears to be traffic lights every 500m in this country. Two hours later, we were still 15km from the centre.

Danielle had arranged to stay with Aussie friends in Chiba – a satellite city Southeast of Toyko, so we abandoned the trip and I drove her straight to Chiba. Today was the first time I discovered just how congested Japan is. Tsukuba, as a modern city, has been planned for the car with wide 6 lane highways everywhere and the traffic moves freely. (apart from the battalion of traffic lights). Anywhere else, and you seem to crawl around like sloths. There are expressways which are toll roads, and after leaving Chiba, I decided to try one back to Narita just to check out the prices. I discovered two things – over 80kph my `Mr whippy ice cream shaped` car lost all sense of steering and that 15km on the toll road cost over £5 ! So I won`t be using those.

The following morning, I was off at 6am, heading north to one of Japan`s `Unmissable sights`. I battled with convoys of trucks on the narrow local roads but covered the 100km journey in about 2 hours. The urban sprawl started to disappear as I drove up the densely forested and snow covered mountains of Tochigi-Ken. The highlight here is the town of Nikko with its fabulous Tosho-Gu complex of multi-coloured temples and shrines, and national park scenery crowned by pristine lakes in the mountains.

Tosho-Gu is a World Heritage listed site - the antithesis of the usually austere Shinto shrines and often considered overbearingly gaudy and grandiose as far as typical Japanese architecture goes. It is visited all year round by Japanese pilgrims. It began in 1616 when a Shogun (warlord) left instructions in his will to have a shrine built in his honour (`and a shrubbery if you have the time`).But his grandson felt it didn`t do him justice and with a `you don`t want to do it like that, you want to do it like this!`, work began on the elaborate mausoleum seen today. It was completed in 1634 and every May 17th, a Grand Festival takes place – restaging the spectacular internment of granddad with a cast of over 1000 costumed priests and warriors in a colourful procession through the enormous complex, topped off with horseback archery.

Arriving early, I beat the hoards of tourists which appeared later in the morning. There were two main areas. The compound of Rinno-Ji had a large red painted hall `Sanbutso-do` which housed three giant golden gilded statues – the 15 headed, 1000 handed Kannon, the Amida Buddha and another Kannon with a fiercesome horses head. I don`t know what that was about. The main entrance to Tosho-Gu was an impressive 1819 red and green 5 storey pagoda. Entering through an ornate gate, I passed the Three Sacred Storehouses and Sacred Stables, covered in wooden carvings of monkeys, including the famous `see, speak, hear no evil` trio. Carvings of monkeys were reputed to fend off diseases in horses. There was a sacred fountain where Japanese pilgrims rinsed out their mouths to purify themselves before proceeding. To reach the shrine, I passed through the dazzling Yomeimon (Sun Blaze Gate) – Japan`s finest gate decorated with wildly ornate carvings, gilt and intricate laquer work. Every gate was protected by a pair of Deva King guardians that snarled at you while holding various weapons.

One of the temples had a painting of a `roaring dragon` on the ceiling and a priest would dutifully bang two lumps of wood together to make it roar. It only works in the direction of the dragon`s mouth. There is no echo if you face the other way and bang away (oo-er). Shoes were removed at every shrine. Incense sticks could be burned and there were many wooden/paper blessings which could be purchased. Pilgrims would scribble messages to the gods.and hang them from wire fences or wooden notice boards

I`ll admit now, that as an `unmissable sight` it was slightly anti-climatic. Having seen so many spectacular places, it was not outstanding compared to say, the Potala Palace in Tibet, but put in the context of Japanese reserve and their habit of ripping everything down and rebuilding all the time, it was well worth a visit and everyone assures me that when you have seen other places in Japan, this complex is pretty unique.

As the crowds swarmed in, I took off for the mountains. A narrow twisting sealed road like a strand of black ribbon discarded on the slopes, took me up to the snowline where cute small furry red/brown monkeys hung around by the roadsides looking for handouts. A long tunnel was bored right through the mountain and brought me out at the beautiful Chuzenji Lake which was still mostly covered in ice. The tourist town of Chuzenji was virtually deserted and armardas of tacky shaped swan design paddleboats were all laid up out of season. I drove on through the snow to the even more deserted resort of Yumoto with 3 metre piles of snow/ice by the roadsides. It was strange to have somewhere in Japan completely to yourself only to return back down to the congested roads. This area must look spectacular when all the trees have leaves and I will definitely be returning in the summer to do some hiking, and paddle around like a prat in a swan boat.

In my first few days, I had driven over 1000km and I was pretty exhausted by the traffic so I spent a day exploring Tsukuba itself. Based in the `Ibaraki` Prefecture, it was conceived in 1963 with a broad goal of creating a scientific metropolis at the foot of Mt Tsukuba and near Lake Kasumigaura – Japan`s second largest lake just up the road. Tsukuba Science City was built as part of this and now 30% of Japan`s national science research base is located in the city. As a new city, of 260 sq km, it is full of wide boulevards, low level tower blocks with the vast technological complexes broken up by parklands. The city is surrounded by richly wooded plains, lush fields and rice paddies (though not at this time of the year).The pink plum blossoms were everywhere including those outside my balcony in the garden which I can almost touch. It is a real state of the art place and even the swimming pool is solar heated. Tsukuba has a marathon race sometime in November so I hope to enter that.

At the Cultural Centre, I read an article in the English Language `Japan Times` which explained all those white facemasks. `Sugi` is an unique Japanese hay fever caused by Japanese cedar trees and affects over 10% of the population (13 million people) along with the dogs and monkeys. Not that I`ve seen any dogs wearing face masks, but quite a few Japanese have pet dogs and they are the most pampered pooches in the world. A similar hay fever called `Hinoko` is caused by Japanese Cyress trees which were all planted after the war to replenish the dwindling stocks of building materials.

Sunday saw a beautiful clear spring morning and I drove to Mt Tsukuba to climb the 877m peak. The 2.3km trail was much tougher than I expected (not having done any hiking since the Himalayas in Nepal last September) – endless flights of steps and occasional clambering up rocks. It is a popular day trip from Toyko. At the bottom, a group of elderly Japanese women were being taken through some warm up exercises by their female leader (`Bend ze knees!`). The trail was full of extended families (3 generations), groups of teenagers, couples with young children (even 2 year olds were being marched up) and elderly couples. A couple of old men came jogging back down with their blaring mini radios tied to their packs. Everyone would greet me with O-hayo gozaimus (good day) or Konnichi Wa (good afternoon). Genki? I`d ask (are you well?). Genki, genki came back the reply. It was hot sweaty work up through the lush beech forests and though the hikers took short breaks they didn`t hang around, except to watch the funicular trains ascend/descend the very steep hills, and a few people gave me a run for my money in speed.

Near the top, at the train terminus, there was a gaggle of shops and cafes and a couple of higher peaks on either side with a shrine on them. The tiny purple spring flowers were just poking their noses out of the ground and ice still lay in secluded hollows. The Japanese seemed fascinated by the arrival of the flowers and welded cameras with huge lens to get close up shots of those I didn`t stand on (only kidding!). From the shrine, I had a wonderful vista over the dry yellow flatlands all the way to Lake Kasumigaura. Back at the bottom, there were no weddings taking place at the shrine as I saw last week. There are different trails to the top so I will be exploring those over the coming weeks.

In the `Alien Times`, a freebie English `what`s on in town this month` magazine, I had read about the Ibaraki Hash House Harriers – the `International drinking club with a running problem` which was meeting at the Frontier Bar that afternoon at 2pm. I drove straight from the hike to the bar which is a spartan drinking joint for all the Ganjin western residents. Hash Clubs are worldwide organizations for people to have a run, drink a lot and socialize. Back in 1985, while living in Adelaide, Australia, I joined one and had some great times. Since I`d be here for at least a year, I thought I might as well be sociable and meet some potential drinking buddies.

The friendly Grand Master nicknamed Toe Jam was a 40 something American guy who had run the club for three years and was leaving for Hawaii. This was his Sayonara Hash (Goodbye Run). There was a motley assortment of friendly multinationals – Canadians, Americans, a German and an Aussie who all came up and introduced themselves. There were also half a dozen Japanese regulars and a whole host of local Japanese (both sexes) who`d come along for the experience – maybe 25 of us in total. Today`s run was at the Dutch looking windmill at Lake Kasumigaura. Stehan, a young German guy who had lived here for 18 months drove me and Terry, a 5 year veteran Canadian resident who runs the Tsukuba Walking and Mountaineering Club – another potential recreational club for me.

The run/jog works like this: a couple of `hares` set off 15 minutes in advance of the group and lay a mystery trail of arrows and piles of flour and they set up false trails at intersections. So you plod off and follow the trail and when you lose it or are unsure, you all branch out to explore the nearby roads to try and pick up the trail again. Stehan, the very fit Aussie, Mike (just visiting for the day) and myself seemed to do all the exploring while the Japanese hung around, caught up or conserved their energy. People blow whistles to indicate that they have found the right way or a `false trail`. So you tend to run down a lot of dead ends and end up doing far more running than you expect. The route took us through `soapland` - a dodgy massage parlour area of the town of Tsuchiura (not that we had time to stop for a rub down), along the waterways with the trees groaning under their blossoms and back along the lakeside with dozens of sailboats out on the water. One poor Canadian guy who`d had a heavy night on the beer, threw up and proclaimed `My Karate teacher has a saying `Pain is just weakness leaving your body``. Near the end, a large `Beer Near` was written on the road. It was supposed to be a 5km run, but I know we must have covered 10km because, after the morning hike, I felt absolutely shattered by the time we returned to a park for the drinking games to commence. Everyone puts in 1000Yen (about £5) and you drink as much beer as you want and polish off the nibbles.

Arriving as the BFRs (Bloody Front Runners), we starting blowing the froth off a few brews while watching the Japanese all stagger in much later (they only have little legs!), and giggling like children. Then the drinking games commenced – various excuses to `down down` a glass of beer – if you were a virgin (new to the club), a Ganjin, a Japanese, if it was your birthday this month etc. We also sang a few rude songs that all concluded with another `down down`. The drinking would continue in another location nearer home, but Stehan and myself both had commitments and left by 6pm. Back at the Frontier Bar, I zipped home for a shower and blasted back out into town to a Mexican restaurant, where Werner, a Canadian teacher was having a farewell. I would be taking over many of his students. I did discover from Stehan that `zero tolerance` of alcohol is a myth and that the allowable tolerance level when driving here is actually higher than in western countries. No excuse I know.

Needlesstosay, after that action packed day, my body was in no mood for a Monday morning jog. It was my first proper working day at school and I spent the afternoon at the HQ school, observing Christina, a 26 year old San Franciscan take her students through their paces. She had spent a year teaching in Costa Rica with her boyfriend Sam before they moved to Japan to teach at Bernard Schools. They had been here a year and had renewed their contracts.

So I watched while she taught 30 minute sessions to a tiny cute 4 year old girl, a very bright 7 year old girl who knew more English than I would Japanese in the next year, a pair of 7 year old boy and girl and then a class of 6 loud 7 year olds. It was like a conveyor belt of students and lessons. To get into the class, Christina would ask the students questions like what is your name/age/where do you live/do you like ice cream/are you happy/what is your mother`s name/father`s name/your telephone number/is it sunny etc. Then the student would have to ask her the same questions back. It is a ritual that is encouraged for all young students – the emphasis on getting them to talk in sentences. Even the 4 year old knew her telephone number!

Inside the classroom, they would get out their `text book` - a colouring book with simple words, lots of numbers, colours, animals, shapes etc. They`d learn for example to say `three green cows` and colour in the cows in their books. Lots of repetition and review. They would recite the alphabet off a chart, phoenetically – a – ah – apple, b –be-ball etc. They practiced their writing, copied sentences in their homework book to copy at home. Furry dice were thrown around while they counted their numbers and they would finish off with a game like picture dominoes or snakes and ladders. I would be doing all of this from the following week but with different students.

In the evening, I spent an hour with my Chinese doctor, Chizuko, proofreading her very technical research paper on diabetes which would be submitted via the internet in a bid to be invited to Budapest, Hungary for an International Conference. She wanted to ensure that her written English was perfect, and we toiled over it until it read to her satisfaction. I didn`t understand the technical jargon and in some places she was correcting my English! Such an intelligent woman. It reminded me of when Jo and I had visited Esfahan, Iran and sat with a female University English lecturer who had been our host for a day and in return just wanted us to help her translate complicated medical jargon from a thick medical textbook. We had never heard of half the words.

I also spent half an hour with Osamu, a 32 year old `Robotics` research scientist expert. He was about to take a 4 month break from English lessons because his wife had just had a baby and he had a heavy workload coming up, preparing for two International Conferences in Canada and Switzerland. He would learn his English presentations off by heart, put everything on Powerpoint software, but would get bombarded by questions and he was trying to improve his English to handle the Q & A. We had a `free conversation` session while I pumped him for information. When he mentioned Robotics, I thought he was talking about walking/talking machines but he was actually designing an artificial arm/hand for amputees that could be joined to the body and manipulated by connected body sensors to the nervous system. `What? Like the Terminator?` I ignorantly asked. `Eggrakry` he replied. Actually, he didn`t. His pronunciation was fluent and excellent. And I was still trying to master simple questions like `Kore wa ikura desu ka?` (how much is this?). Doh! He came from Hiroshima City in the south and had relocated to Tsukuba Science City to lead a research team of 10 on a 3 year project to design the revolutionary hand which was really complicated stuff and a lot more work than strapping on an immobile artificial leg. He would start work at 8am, return home at 6pm to bath his baby, have dinner and return back to work until midnight. No wonder he didn`t have time for English. I hoped he would return in 4 months so I could discover more.

Margot had issued me with my starter schedule. This week I would be attending the schools I`d be teaching in, meet my students and observe the teachers. The schedule is still being filled. I will have Sundays and Wednesdays off, and Thursdays (temporarily until the recruitment campaign is finished). So I`ll be teaching on Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday next week. Classes start around 2pm and the last one will end at 10pm (even on Saturday night), with gaps inbetween. At least I have every morning off. We are supposed to teach about 30 hours a week, but I won`t reach that total for some time. At least I felt as if I was being broken in gently, with lots of time to prepare lessons and get used to the job.

I have continued to force myself to learn a little Japanese every day. Like numbers 1-10 is ichi, ni, san, yon, go, roku, shichi, hachi, ku, ju (itchy knee is a good way to get me going). 11 – ju-ichi, 12 –ju-ni etc, 20 – ni-ju, 21 – ni-ju-ichi etc, 30 san-ju, 31 – san-ju-ichi etc. Days of the week are Getsuyobi (Monday), Kayobi (T), Suiyobi (W), Mokuyobi (T), Kinyobi (F), Doyobi (S), Nichiyobi (Sunday). But everything is forgotten unless I drill myself.

Other information. I am still waiting for a phone, but my address is: Grandale #319, Kamigo 8104-131, Tsukuba City, Ibaraki-Ken 300 2645, Japan The Japanese do not have exact addresses – you live in a district, not on a road so I live in the district of Kamigo. Grandale is just a block on flats within it.

(When the homepage appears, you will see a lot of Japanese gibberish because your PCs will not have a Japanese language decoder loaded. You may be prompted to download one, but don`t bother. Just click cancel on that box and if you look in the bottom left hand corner of the first screen you will see a few links in English. You can click on them to see photos of the schools and lessons, a gallery of the staff (so you can put faces to names from my accounts), and lots of photos/info on Tsukuba – the parklands etc which will give you more of an idea of where I am. Not that anyone cares that much!)

I am still paying hefty internet bills at the cafe; typing stuff like this, but I have already found second hand lap tops with MS-Office and modems for under £400 so I may be splashing out soon. Shame the software is all in Japanese!

On Tuesday (March 26th), Werner the Canadian teacher who I am replacing drove me to the small school at Shimodate about 32km north and our furthest school from Tsukuba. Werner had spent a year here and was moving to a new school in the mountains. Tuesdays will be my heaviest schedule; 9 lessons between 13.45 and 22.00 (+ the 45 min commute both ways), but Werner said that they were the friendliest students he`d taught in Japan. Yuko is a young assistant who just spent two years in Sydney studying hospitality and recently started at the school to do the admin etc. She is a real sweetie and kept passing chocolates to us. My first student was absent. Koji was a 40 year old Japanese-Korean and `a really cool guy`. He runs a Pachinko Parlour in town.

Pachinko is one of Japan`s top pastimes and major industries raking in a staggering 27 trillion Yen a year. It is a vertical pinball game of limited skill. It`s not difficult to spot these parlours, they look like mini Las Vegas casinos on steroids, all flashing lights and neon signs. Inside, the noise of thousands of steel balls clattering through the upright electronic baguatelles is deafening, yet rows of players sit mesmorized as they control the speed of the balls through the machine. The aim of Pachino is for balls to fall into the right holes so more balls can be won and traded in for prizes and (illegally) cash.

I got Koji to explain the game and he told us how he could set 7 levels of payout. Level 7 means no profit and most are set between 2 and 4. His father had set one up in the 1950`s and now all three sons had their own parlour. Koji had 300 machines. The largest places have up to 600. He was very proud to have financed a trip for his father to play golf at St Andrews a few years back.

Timoki, the next 4 year old student was the `child from Hell`. This tiny boy had been removed from group classes as disruptive and he had not improved with individual tuition. He seemed unable to focus on anything and had an extremely limited attention span. He`d just head for the games and empty them over the floor. Werner felt that his lack of a father was the main problem. I think the only way to control him will be to make him run around the table 500 times to tire him out. He looks a nightmare.

It was a relief to move onto Keiko, a delightful elementary school nurse in her 30`s, who was a fairly good speaker. As with all the adult students, I spent today just chatting and getting to know them.

At 6pm, a High School Class rolled in, two cute 17 year old girls called Yukiko and Naomi, a 17 year old boy, Shoher and a 15 year old boy Muashiro who had joined recently. There were typical of Japanese schoolkids in that they can read and write English a lot better than speaking it, so the emphasis is to get them to talk to each other. The next `nightmare students, Shiho (4) and Ren (10)` were also absent. Shiho won`t do anything unless her friend is present.

Kogi, was a 50 year old vet who was unconfident but eager to learn. We discussed `Mad Cow Disease` and he has to spend a lot of his time inspecting cows. I had to keep my questions simple so that he could understand me.

The final lesson at 9pm was a group of 4 Japanese women in their 20`s. As with the High school students, they can read/write pretty well but have difficulty making conversation. Junko, Yoko, Yukiko and Kiyoe laughed a lot and kept scrambling for their dictionaries. After asking a question, you have to `enjoy the silence` while waiting for their brains to click into action to form a response (just like me with my basic Japanese). Kiyoe, the least confident refused to tell me her age. `I am secret years of age` she replied!

It was a long day but very enjoyable. I was lucky in that Werner could tell me what all the students were like, their level of English and what he had taught them and how. He felt that the students had been taken through their textbooks too quickly before he arrived and discovered that vast gaps were missing, so he`d gone back over much of the work just to make sure that they actually learnt it. Because it was his last lesson with them, various students bought in presents for him, a bunch of flowers, a facecloth, a mug. I looked forward to taking over his students apart from the nightmares.

The following day was my `official day off` but a short monthly teachers` meeting had been scheduled mid morning. 25 teachers (English, Irish, American, Canadian and Australian) crammed into a room. I had only met a few of them. I have been surprised to discover that many teachers have been here less than 6 months. Apparently, the school recruited a Canadian female manager who was a real dragon. She had fired two teachers in her first week and her draconian measures drove out most of the staff. Margot, Steve, Christina, Sam and Werner were the only ones to stick it out. Since the Canadian got the boot and Margot has taken over, everything has been reorganized and people seem to be generally happy with the set up. The school is currently recruiting for another teacher via the internet and they have been inundated with applications, so I feel lucky to have been offered a job.

I also had Thursday off (while the current student recruitment campaign ends and my Thursday schedule starts next week, so I took off in the car on a recce trip to Kawagoe. Traffic was very heavy and it took me three hours to reach the town 40km northwest of Tokyo centre and really just another suburb. Kawagoe`s fortunes owe everything to it`s strategic position by the Shingashi River and old highway to the capital (then called Edo). If you wanted to get goods to Tokyo, you usually passed through here and the town`s merchants prospered as a result. They accumulated the cash to build fireproof Kurazukuri, the black, two storey shophouses with heavy black overhanging roofs that the town is famous for. At one point, there were over 200 of them, but their eatenware walls didn`t prove so fireproof and many burnt down in a 1893 fire. About 30 remain as protected buildings of traditional Japanese architecture.

I parked near the Naritisan Betsuin, a shrine that comes to life on the 28th of each month (ie today) when it hosts a busy flea market. Locals set out tables of junk, clothes, antiques, nick-nacks and most stuff was priced up. A Japanese busker (wearing a facemask) played a `plinky plonky` musical instrument, hitting tightly drawn steel wires with two narrow wooden sticks to produce a beautiful sound, that sound that of traditional Japanese music that you hear as a backdrop behind every TV programme about Japan.

Nearby, lay the Kita-In temple complex which is the main temple of the Tendai Buddhist sect. There has been a temple here since 830AD and when the last one burnt down in 1638, the priests were held in such high esteem that the Edo Shogun donated a wooden annex from the Edo castle to replace it. I`ll view the interiors when I have visitors over. I was able to watch a mini ceremony like the one I viewed at Narita Temple. This time, there was only one priest banging a drum and warbling, while another sat in front of his boy scout fire and only 3 pilgrims were present. Even Japanese ceremonies are being miniaturized!

The complex was full of Japanese visitors to see the rampant white cherry blossoms. Colourful lanterns had been strung out between the trees and the blossom fluttered around like confetti. There was a strange small enclave `Gohyahu Rakan` containing a remarkable group of 540 40cm tall enigmatic dwarf disciples of Budda carved from stone. No two are alike and their facial expressions are fascinating.

I viewed the famous old shops (`a glimpse of old Japan`), now sat either side of a busy road (a glimpse of modern Japan) and selling the usual Japanese souvenir tat. Down a side street, I found the Toki-No-Kane, a wooden bell tower rebuilt in 1894 that was used as a fire alarm. Big mistake building it out of wood? I also stumbled across a small shrine by a lovely ceremtery. The small compact black rectangular tombs on pedestals had lots of flowers and bundles of 2m high, narrow planks of wood with Japanese inscriptions burnt in them. The graveyard was tended by three small volunteer girls who swept the paths etc. It was immaculate. A line of Buddha statues at the entrance all wore little red caps and bibs.

On October 14th/15th, Kawagoe has an interesting annual festival. On display are 25 `dashi`, incrediably ornate festival wagons, some over 200 years old, that get pulled around the streets full of musicians and dancers that drink a lot of saki and challenge each other in their antics. I`ll be on holiday that day and hope to come and witness the spectacle. Japan has 100s of festivals, but I will only see a few.

I saw a couple of strange sights. A man was walking his white poodle, except that he wasn`t. It stood astride his shoulders behind his head! These pooches are so pampered, when they are taken for a walk, they don`t even have to walk. I wonder how it `marked it territory`. The owner probably even lifted it leg when it needed a pee. The next white poodle was being walked, but on it`s hind legs and pushing a trolley with hanging lanterns! I`m not making this stuff up!

Other things I have noticed: At supermarkets, you present your basket and the female cashier rings it all up and puts the goods in another basket. After you have paid, you take it to a nearby table to bag up yourself. So there are rarely lines in the supermarkets. Neat idea! Some of the trolleys have little car shaped buggies underneath, where a small child can sit in and get wheeled around while the mother does her shopping and they can`t reach up and grab stuff off the shelves.

Werner took me to Ami School where I`ll be teaching on Fridays. It was a frustrating day because many of the students were absent and I only met a few. Saki, a shy 8 year old girl and a trio of 10 year olds who were very enthusiastic and had only been learning English for 6 months.

On Saturday, I returned to Shimodate school, for my second day of the week there. It is another grueling day of teaching. Kayo was a sweet 40 something waitress with 3 children and a husband she seems to despise. Her dream is to move to Bali `paradise` when the kids leave home in many years time. Shiro, who had a high level of English was a 35 year old office worker in the Public Works Dept. When I questioned him about the usual Japanese company policy of forcing their male employees to go drinking after work most nights, (all part of the all for one-one for all Japanese attitude) he said that because he`d been there for 13 years, he only had to make a monthly token appearance. He hated them, because of all the drunken quarrels and fights that broke out among the staff and preferred to go to his sports club 4 nights a week and train for trilathlons.

Werner`s favourite kindergarten class of 6 kids turned up. One called Mitsuke was so shy, she didn`t say a word all lesson. In the rendition of `Twinkle Twinkle Little Star`, Uncle Bob participated. `Yeah, I know`, said Werner `You feel like a real dick if you haven`t done it before, but you get used to it`. The brooding mothers presented us with punnits of delicious fresh strawberries as farewell/welcome presents. Slightly older students, a boy called Shun and a girl called Hazuki followed them. 12 year old Taketeru rolled up (looking like a 15 year old). He was a fast learner and beat me everytime on the `Guess Who` game. I`ll have to slap him around a bit to let him know who is boss!

Three lovely ladies turned up at 8pm for 90 minutes. Tomoko (elementary school teacher), Mayumi (Junior High School teacher), were both married and in their 20`s and Keiko in her late 30`s? who was running her father`s business providing feed to cattle and horses. They had a good standard of English and I managed to persuade Tomoko to sing the Japanese National anthem. It was too complicated to translate into English. They were joined later by Tsuyoshi, a CD/DVD Inspector at Texas Instruments, who sits in to practise his conversation before his own lesson to study for a complicated Japanese qualification in grammar. Even Werner and I disagreed over some of the answers.

The last student at 21.30 was Kensuke, a contract school English teacher who likes to practice his conversation. We discussed the problems with Japanese schools and I was amazed to hear that they have the same problems as the English ones. Overworked, underpaid teachers, large classes of up to 40 students and most revealing, a growing disciplinary problem with the teenagers. `They are now behaving like American students` he concluded. The schools` policy is to graduate every one (even expelled kids) from Junior High schools so they can push them on to the Senior High Schools and get rid of them.

At 10pm on a Saturday night, eight hours after starting, my day was finally over. I have learnt that on my Wednesday day off, I have been given a `Company Class`. I`ll spend 2 hours from 17.30 every week with some company employees at their organization. I don`t really mind since I still get most of the day off and I`ll be preparing lessons on that day anyway. My Monday afternoons and evenings are also starting to fill up. By the end of April, I should have a full schedule and know when I`ll be teaching. To save you further boredom, my future updates will only contain info on new students and any interesting teaching experiences. As you can see I have a pretty wide age/skill base to cover from 4 to 50, from absolute beginner to a fluent expert Japanese doctor. I have also signed up for 17 weeks of free 2 hour Japanese lessons on a Tuesday morning at the Tsukuba Information Centre which starts in mid April.

I`m over the jetlag, but I return home late at night from teaching, still `wired` from the day and find I end up staying up until at least 2am, preparing the next lessons, knowing I have the mornings off for a jog (most days), chores etc.

Last Sunday, I made my first excursion into Toyko. Danielle accompanied me on the agreement that if she did the Imperial Palace with me, I would met up with her Aussie friend, Mia so they could go shopping in the afternoon. Big mistake. We were on a 8am train. It arrived bang on time (run every 15 mins or so) for the 50 minute ride to Ueno where you change for massive Tokyo Central Station 10 minutes away (quite deserted at 9am on a Sunday morning). You can buy a £10 return ticket that also allows you to travel around the central overline Yamanote route within the city that takes you past most of the famous sights and districts. Inside the trains are small video screens showing non stop commercials.

Tokyo is a dynamically modern metropolis that over 12 million people call home. Exciting, stimulating and safe, it covers over 2000 sq km, an enormous, fascinating entity unto itself. Although, it only became the capital officially in 1868, when Emperor Meiji moved the Royal Court from Kyoto to the castle town of Edo and renamed it Tokyo (`Eastern Capital`), it had been the administration center of Japan since the 17th Century. By the mid 1800s, it already had over a million people and the large, bustling city continued to thrive, expand and embrace all that was new, unique and exciting, much as it does today. Fires, earthquakes and the Second World War took their toll, but it continued to rise like a phoenix.

It has many fast paced and energetic multi-centres but before I came, I imagined Tokyo to be a discarded sister from the `Bladerunner` movie with tall, cramped, imposing towers everywhere, but it is a relatively low level city with occasionally self contained commercial areas sprouting up. A few buildings had giant advertising video screens but nothing bigger than London has. It was nothing like New York City or Hong Kong which are much more vertical.

At the centre of it all, is the mysterious green void of the Imperial Palace, home to the Emperor and a few blocks away from Central Station. Well hidden, behind the old castle`s massive stone ramparts (Japanese castles were all made of wood and look nothing like ye olde English castles), the palace itself is off limits but the vast austere expanses of spruce lawns and manicured pine trees and gardens are open as public parks. It is surrounded by a massive moat. At Nijubashi bridge, the Japanese tourists were all taking the famous photo where two bridges span the moat and a jaunty little watchtower perches on it`s grey pedestal beyond, the scene framed by fresh green willows, white swans and the dying white cherry blossoms. Spring arrived here two weeks early, and the best displays have gone, whereas Tuskuba, further north is in full bloom and right outside my balcony. We pottered around the relatively empty grounds and from a lookout I could see the famous Budokan martial arts/rock concert hall with its graceful cuving roof and gold top knot poking out above the tree line within the grounds. There was a relay jogging race going on around the entire complex by the moat with smartly dressed elderly male officials, in black blazers, ties and white hats, waving small red flags while the runners attempted to run through the hoards of cherry blossom hunters.

We met Mia at midday in Harajuku district. She was a 32 year old Brisbane friend also teaching out here. Harajuku is the area where Tokyo`s youth dress up and hang out and it is a strange sight indeed. There used to be free concerts here at ‘Din Alley’ (you may have seen footage of Japanese Teddy Boys with quiffs and leathers jumping around in old documentaries), but the authorities banned it. So now everyone just hangs out and tries to show some uniqueness from the traditional bland everyone looks the same in Japan image. There was a quartet of school boys in suits and hairstyles (Eddie Van Halen circa 1980), playing Japanese pop songs while a gaggle of schoolgirls clapped and sung the choruses. But it was the dress code that took some beating. Here are a few descriptions of what I saw among the 200-300 cross cultural mixture of punks, goths, new romantics, big 80s hair and every horror movie you have ever seen.

You had your basic `Siousie and the Banchees meets Alice Cooper` look; powdered white faces, black makeup, blue/blonde died hair, miniscule short skirts, fish net stockings, PVC coats, leather boots up to the thighs etc. Boys would have the `Motley Crew big hair period` but dyed bright orange, both moussed up into the air and trailing down their backs (must have been wigs). Both groups tottering around on 4 to 6 inch black platform boots and looking like children with walking problems. There were girls dressed as Dr Frankenstein`s lab assistants or Dracula`s brides with goulish make up, white lab coats splattered in fake blood and clutching teddy bears (which was a new one to me). Other males dressed up as transvestite Little Bo Peeps in billowing blue dresses or `Rocky Horror Movie Show` extras. Punks walked about in Tartan with `God Save The Queen` T-Shirts, safety pins holding their clothes together and even the occasional ear to mouth chain, and seriously big dyed hair.

It was like watching my previous life pass before me. They would sit around, take photos of each other in poses and pose for the 100+ western tourists who had flocked to see the spectacle. One big difference from London though noone asked you for money! They were all obviously respectable kids from good homes who snuck out every Sunday, got dressed in the nearby park, paraded around and then took it all off before returning to the none the wiser parents. Just like we used to do! I found it ironic that for a country that discards so much, so quickly, they have behaved like human Cuckoos, and have borrowed so much of the dress culture that we have discarded in the West and morphed it into a potpourri of Japanese bad taste.

Leaving the fun, I followed the girls around the horrendously crowded shopping areas, packed like a Notting Hill Carnival and hung around like a unwanted dog outside the shops watching the Japanese National Sport of Shopping get underway on a blistering Sunday afternoon. They failed miserably to find anything in their size! `What? No Fat Bastard Aussie Girl sizes?` I smirked.

Fleeing from the crowds, we disappeared into a basement to visit a Izakaya pub type restaurant specializing in Sushi, for a late lunch. When we walked into the near empty bar, the all male chefs bowed and yelled `Irasshaimase!` (Bon Appetite said before meals). After being seated at the bar, we were handed an Oshibori, a damp folded towel that was refreshingly cold to wipe our hands/faces and given cups of green Japanese tea. They had an English menu (same prices as the Japanese one). In front of us lay an array of fish types; shellfish, raw fish, abalone, crab, octopus, eel etc. You could order tapas like fish snacks or a proper meal. Danielle ordered `Kyo Kan 9` (nine specially prepared sushi snacks), Mia had fresh red salmon with salmon row on rice and I had `Bara Chirashi` (Scattered Sushi), where you get a large bowl of chopped up raw fish with rice and a horseradish sauce that exploded my sineses). They all cost about £4.50. A small bowl of `Ebi Shiru (Shrimp Miso soup) accompanied the dishes along with chopsticks and an ice cold beer.

Many westerners falsely assume that all sushi is raw fish, but the name actually refers to the way the rice is prepared with vinegar. Fish and seafood are of course essential and traditional elements of Japanese cuisine and range from seaweed to slices of squid laid across slabs of sushi rice. Each plate was freshly made by a team of chefs working in full view across the counter. It was nice to finally encounter some proper Japanese food at last (I live off western food in my flat) and when I stumbled out with `Gochisosama Deshita` (that was delicious), the waiter yelled `Perfect Japanese`. There is no tipping in Japan and can often offend!

Rather than face another bout of shopping, I made my excuses and agreed to meet later. I headed for the nearby Meiji-Jingu, Tokyo`s premier Shinto Shrine and a memorial to Emperor Meiji who died in 1912. A wander through the heavily wooded Outer Gardens takes you to the Inner Gardens where a 12m high O Torii stood. This is a symbolic entrance shaped like a large `n` and every shrine has one. This one was made of 1500 year old Taiwan pine trees and is the largest in Japan. The Central Hall was large and very plain (as opposed to the ones I saw at Nikko), but I was rewarded with another full on Japanese wedding party.

The couple had already been married and were trouping in for the official photos. Three priests in ornate flowing kimonos and golden caps led in the wedding party with the couple at the head and protected by a large red parasol held over them. The bride, dressed in a multilayered billowing silk white kimono and outrageously tall bonnet shuffled in on her platform white sandles. The bridegroom was dressed in traditional off duty Sumarai warrior grey/black striped gown. Behind them followed 100 family/relatives all dressed to perfection. The women all wore silk kimonos and coloured sashes around their waists and the men were dressed sharply in black suits, white shirts and cream silk ties.

After the priests had blessed them, the wedding organisers spent 15 minutes setting up the photo shot. Two women looked after two large baskets where the women left their handbags before clambering over 5 tiers of chairs. Four attendants fussed over the bride`s kimono to get it to sit just so. A woman kept the party amused, telling them what would happen while three photographers tested light meters. Five small children sat on chairs on the ground with their backs to the camera. Every couple of minutes, someone would rush up to the bride and adjust something. Finally, the kids were turned around and as the flash popped so did another 100 from all the western tourists who had gathered to watch. Suddenly, it was all over. The party disappeared, leaving the bride with her four attendants dismantling her bonnet. Underneath, black hair pieces had been woven two feet above her head and decorated with white cherry blossom.

Remeeting the girls (‘who cares about that when there are all these shops!`), we zipped down to the Shinjuku district which was just coming to neon life in the fading afternoon light. Fortuntely, I will be able to make many excursions into Tokyo, but I think I`ll leave girlies behind.

The following day I would be in the classroom on my own, teaching English for the first time.