Switzerland

May/June 2008

I had a few extra days of annual leave to take and fancied a quick road trip to Europe – but where to go? I hadn’t been to Switzerland in 20 years and then it was only a couple of quick visits as a travel guide. Back in 1983 I had flown to Geneva and Zurich on a daily basis for months as a courier delivering mail. I also had German friends who lived near the Swiss border and it had been a decade since I had visited them. My friend Wendy had never been to Switzerland either. Neither had a couple of her daughters - Lauren (16) and Charlie (20). So Wendy offered up her car and I agreed to be a tour guide and give them a taster of Switzerland.

After a full day’ work, we drove to Dover to catch the 2am ferry to Calais on Saturday May 24th. Arriving around 5am local time, the sun was rising and we followed the well worn route of heading east into Belgium, around Brussels, into Germany, past Koln and over the Rhine River. Then south east to Frankfurt and Wurzburg before heading south to Ulm in southern Germany arriving at 2.30pm almost 10 hours non stop from Calais. The autobahns flowed pretty well.

I had emailed Roland to have the Weiss beers cooled and when he and his family (Claudia and his twin sons) met me in a car park, he presented us with a cold Weiss beer from a cooler. I had brought back 4 cases of empty Weiss beer bottles with me. I like to consider myself as an International drinker whereby you take your empties abroad!

Claudia’s parents lived in Ulm and they had prepared a wonderful late Saturday lunch – champagne, chicken stew, salad, pasta. Then Roland and our gang had a stroll around Ulm, the regional capital of the area. It is famous for having the tallest church steeple in the world (161m) with 758 steps to the top. The church also had splendid stained glass windows.

The colourful town hall and the old warehouses are evidence of the pride and wealth of the medieval city (though 80% had been rebuilt since World War Two). The River Danube flows through the middle of the city. Ulm was also the birthplace of Albert Einstein. New buildings such as the Art Gallery are juxtaposed against the old buildings in a tasteful way. We followed Roland and family back to Bad Saulgau – a small town south east of Ulm and we spent the evening catching up over beers and pizza.

The following morning (Sunday), we were treated to a traditional German breakfast of champagne, fresh bread, fruit, cold meats and cakes. We took off for Friedrichshafen, which sat about an hour south by Lake Konstanz. This was where Graf Zeppelin lived and invented the Zeppelin. It had also become a focus for ‘transportation’ freaks. There was a three day ‘Air/Car/Motorbike festival at the airfield where a huge hanger had been constructed to house Zeppelins. Roland told me that there were currently only four in the world and two had been brought over from California for the festival. We could see one above us when we driving into town, which was taking VIPs for joy rides.

An exhibition centre of vast halls were permanently based and in one of these was a splendid array of classic cars, bikes etc. Not much of car enthusiast, I was more intrigued that Porche actually built tractors as well as fast cars! Some were on display. 0-60mph with a plough in, er, around 10 minutes.

We spent a couple of hours on the site, watching a Zeppelin land and then be manoeuvred into the vast hanger with 10 storey doors that slid back to allow it to float through the gap very low to the group. There were also mini displays of classic bikes and cars around a track. The festival was winding down so we headed for the lake side where there was a statue of Graf Zeppelin.

On the way home, Roland drove to a secluded pub/hostelry down a tiny country lane which had a beer garden and an excellent local menu of food. Only the locals knew about this place and Roland had been a regular for years. He introduced us to the landlord and we feasted on huge portions of Weiner Schnizel and local cider.

Early on the Monday morning, Roland took off for work at the local hospital as the chief Psychoanalyst, and we took off for Switzerland. Retracing the route to Friedrichshafen, we found ourselves stuck behind slow heavy traffic around Lake Konstanz and was surprised when expecting to enter Switzerland from Germany, we actually entered Austria. This privilege cost us about 8 Euros for the ‘road toll’. We passed through Bergenz and to be honest it could it have been Germany, Austria or Switzerland.

Out of nowhere, the Swiss border appeared. Unlike the EU borders, they have official borders but they are really only checking up on the fact that you paid 20 odd quid to allow you to drive along their motorways. Fortunately, I had bought one of these at the Austrian border, put it on the windscreen and was waved through (You’ve paid, now sod off).

We were headed for Liechtenstein which is squeezed in-between Austria and Switzerland and pulled off the motorway onto a B road to reach the capital of Vaduz. How many other countries have you visited by turning off onto a minor road?

Liechtenstein hadn’t changed much since I was there in the 1990s. The only memorable feature was still the castle (schloss) which overlooked the capital and is where the ‘royal family’ lives. I know, like me, you didn’t realise they have a Royal family. It’s not as if you read about them in the news. They were having an extension added (as you do when you head a banking tax haven) so the photos were ruined by a crane towering overhead of the Gothic-Renaissance fortress defended by sturdy towers and turrents.

You tend to drive through Liechtenstein rather than visit unless you want to pay obscene amounts to stay at one of the hotels and believe me, without a business expense account, you don’t want to do that. Lying in the Eastern Alps, it was established as a principality in 1719. A German speaking country with a population of ooh… 34,000, it is a democratic monarchy (whatever that is). Apparently, it is one of the most highly industrialised countries in the world. I’m not sure why, because I saw no industry whatsoever. You could have moved an averaged sized car plant there and it would have dominated the place – if you could fit it in between the mountain ranges.

The main street is full of banks taking care of the tax free assets of whatever companies. We drove past the ‘Kunstmuseum’ (an art gallery) and tried not to burst out laughing. I did notice that they had spruced up downtown with a pedestrian precinct outside the Regierungsgebaude – the major government building which was really just an impressive three storey mansion with a decorated roof. Before we knew it, we were driving past a grassy meadow and suddenly we were in Switzerland. No border guards- just cows and a sign. No cows asked to see our passports or motorway permit. Even those wearing official uniforms.

DK Eyewitness Travel Guides says “A landlocked country in the cultural and geographical heart of Europe, Switzerland has a distinct character and dynamism. While the country is admired for the beauty of its Alpine environment … it is also one of the world’s richest countries”. I still see it as the land of dodgy cheese and cuckoo clocks.

Switzerland has about 7 million people in an area of about 16,000 sq miles which is about the same size as er…Switzerland. It borders Germany to the north, Austria and Liechenstein to the east, Italy to the south and France to the west. The capital is Bern. There are three distinct geographical regions: the Jura Mountains in the Northwest (where I had watched the Tour de France in 1994), the Mitteland which is the central plateau and the Alps in the South and East. I would be concentrating on the latter two.

Switzerland is divided into 26 cantons which have their own constitutions, legislation and financial autonomy. German, French and Italian are spoken in various parts of the country. If you want to move to Switzerland, you still have to be voted in by people in the canton where you want to live. You don’t get much chance unless you have a healthy bank account (eg David Bowie, Louis Hamilton). They sure as hell wouldn’t want me.

The Swiss economy is based on banking and international trade, the service industries, manufacturing, agriculture, winter sports and tourism. The country’s major exports are precision machinery, clocks and watches, textiles, chemicals and pharmaceuticals, chocolate, cheese and smugness.

Swiss farmers are the most subsidized in the world which means they don’t have to produce much – just keep the scenery looking wonderful and make sure all their cows have a large iron bell clanking off their necks. It is the gorgeous sound of Switzerland – well that, and the cuckoo clock – which isn’t so gorgeous – more naff! Claudia’s parents had a cuckoo clock which had a pair of buttocks (ie mooning) rather than a cuckoo.

Although it is a neutral country, Switzerland maintains an army to defend its borders and national service is compulsory. Swiss Guards defend the Pope in the Vatican which I saw a couple of years ago. (That’s enough about Switzerland – ed).

I had a cunning plan. The ‘AA Best Drives of Switzerland’ had a route called the ‘Seven Passes’ which “wanders through beautiful landscapes, some high in the mountains and crosses seven passes about 2000m (6,560 ft). Along the way it crosses the unspoilt and protected Swiss National Park”

It started at Klosters – a holiday resort favoured by the British royal family (come to check up on their Swiss bank accounts) and famous for its ski slopes. These had melted away by the time we drove through the valley after a picnic lunch overlooking Klosters. It was in a splendid location, surrounded by mountains (well it would if it was a ski resort).

Much more spectacular was the Fluelapass which twisted its way up in between the snow packed mountains and the Fluelatal River to 2383m. The ice was still standing as sheer 10 ft tall walls in some places by the side of the road and had obviously only just melted away. It was a stunning introduction to the Swiss Alps.

Then we descended down the other side of the pass, past Susch a small village laying in a beautiful setting of wooded hills, to Zernez and into the Swiss National Park. It’s only 50 miles in area and to be honest I didn’t notice any difference in the scenery before or after it.

We climbed a second pass of Pass dal Fuorn where the snow had melted a lot more and descended to reach the small but perfectly formed Sankt Maria in one of the most secluded and beautiful valleys in Switzerland (according to the guidebooks). The town has managed to preserve its architecture and has wonderful painted facades on its houses. It was a lovely little town lit by late afternoon sunshine. Worth a stop for an ice cream in the heat or maybe a quiet night in a restaurant.

The only problem was that there were signs up to say that the next pass -the Pass dal Stelvio (actually in Italy) was snowbound and still closed. So my seven passes were suddenly cut to two. We had no choice but to retrace my route all the way back to Zernez and then take a road south to Samedan following the Engadin River through a wide valley. Bugger!

My guide book told me that Samedan was an important railway junction and when we were stopped twice at ‘level crossings’ I believed them. I was reminded by Dan Ackroyd’s comment in the ‘Blues Brothers’ movie who lived by the metro. “The trains pass by so often, you won’t even notice them.” It was also a renowned ‘golf centre’ – not that I saw a golf course anywhere or Tiger Woods teeing up.

What it did have was a pretty crappy campsite, but it was by a fast running river which was a soothing background sound in the tent and drowned out the noise of any passing traffic and trains. The campsite also seemed to cater for dogs in a big way. There were ‘doggy poo’ bags by the toilets, offers of dog minding available, a carved see-saw with dogs sitting on either end. Hell, there were holiday caravans there and one near me had a large permanent dog kennel outside the caravan! If it rained, I could always sleep in the doghouse! Most importantly, it was cheap.

The following sunny Tuesday morning, we decided to pop into St Moritz just south of Samedan. Well, it would have been rude not to. Unfortunately, no wealthy, attractive women were waiting for my arrival to drag me off to the High Life and we also managed to miss the turn off on Route 3 north to head for Thusis for some more scenery. This was probably because the route south was also Route 3. You work it out.

However, it was a blessing in disguise. Firstly, the route south via Maloja, (in glorious sunshine) was simply the most spectacular scenery we saw in our short stay in Switzerland. As a backdrop, there were the forested mountains topped with snow. In the foreground were tranquil lakes reflecting the mountains and local fishermen out in tiny boats to indicate the scale of the stunning scenery. I’ll say it again – absolutely stunning, and I didn’t read a guide book that picked up on this valley. I felt as if I had discovered an unknown treasure. Friedrich Nietzche when he wasn’t on a downer lived in Sils, just south of St Moritz and described it as ‘the loveliest corner of the Earth’.

Passing through the Val Bregaglia, a broad and sunny valley, we also got to enter Italy (which was the intention yesterday) and discovered a wonderful dual waterfall outside Chiavenna called Aquafraggia which was breathtaking… Two thick waterfalls tumbling down a sheer cliff in tandem). In and out of Chiavenna, we headed north through the Val San Giacomo which started to climb up to Passo dello Spurga.

This was the steepest, most scariest (if you’re a girl! and I had three of them in the car all looking worried and commenting 'Are you sure this is safe Bob?'), most twisty pass we would cross and it was also equally spectacular. It was one of those narrow roads that you felt you should contact the ‘Top Gear’ researchers (UK TV Car show) and tell them to get the presenters and some obscenely priced cars and say ‘now try and drive this.’ The views back across the mountains were glorious. We saw fit looking male cyclists on the way up and I thought, I’d be walking by now. These fit bodies cheered up the girls and took their minds off the steep drop a metre from the car.

There was a frozen lake at the top and what seemed to be a ghost town (a small village with boarded up houses, obviously holiday homes that would not be re-visited by their owners until the summer.) I think the town was called Montespurga. Crazy name, crazy town. This area did reveal a new sight – marmorites. I spotted what looked like furry animals with bushy tails running over the snow. I wondered what they lived on since everything was buried under snow. Cute but shy – and stupid trying to survive in these conditions. But they obviously do, so what do I know?

I thought this was the summit, but we kept climbing and twisting and finally descended down some serious slopes, trying not to burn out my brake pads. Somewhere just over the pass were the old custom offices of Italy and then Switzerland. These amounted to glorified garden sheds. The Swiss officials couldn’t be arsed to see if I had my motorway sticker.

On the other side of the pass, we passed a couple cycling with all their gear in panniers. The woman was already walking and she hadn’t even started the climb. I could already predict the arguments with the husband later – “You told me that this would be a gentle cycling holiday and you’ve forced me to cross this f***ing pass. It’s so steep I’ve been walking for 6 hours so far. Next time, leave me at home. I’ll take a car instead”.

At the bottom of the pass lay Splugen on route 13 where we joined a wide valley heading south. The idea was to make good time by taking the San Bernardino Tunnel. But along with half of Switzerland, it was under repair after the winter and the original San Bernardino pass was the only option. I was down to about a quarter of a tank of petrol and wondered when the next garage would appear.

The pass was not as steep as the previous one, but it was a fine twisty narrow road that climbed up to the snowline. It passed by a couple of huge water towers (I assume that’s what they were), a couple of frozen lakes and an old stone hotel at the summit where most people seemed to stop for a climb around the snow. Again, there were marvellous views of the valley we had left with its towering backdrop of snow capped mountains.

At the bottom of the pass, we were relieved to find a garage and filled up (Petrol was cheaper in Switzerland than in the UK – about a £1 a litre!) We rejoined the A13 and zoomed down to Bellinzona which was a sprawl of a city, with only two exits off the motorway miles apart from each other. We had come to see the largest castle in Switzerland, and had imagined a lonely sturdy massive castle on a mountain but all we could see was urban sprawl.

I followed my nose and picked up a few castle signs. What I didn’t know was that there were actually three castles on different levels. We had spied the largest, but it took ages of driving around to find the correct road up to the car park outside. Having said that, I did discover in my ‘I wonder where this tiny road goes’ experiments, the lovely old town square (Piazza Nosetto). Here there were several fine Renaissance buildings which seemed to be dominated by the colour red – maybe it was just the red cobblestones reflected off the buildings in the sunshine. It looked like a typical Italianate square which was not surprising since the Italian border is just down the road and they obviously wanted to keep up with the neighbours – or maybe the neighbours built it themselves when they had a few decades of control. Not that we could stop to photo the square.

Bellinzona, the capital of the canton of Ticino has been a strategic crossroads since ancient times, lying at the confluence of the St Gotthard Pass (the gateway to Central Switzerland) and the San Berdardino Pass (linking Ticino to eastern Switzerland and Bavaria). The city was fought over for centuries between the Italians and Swiss and its castles and fortified city walls bear witness to this (though it does look like a lot has been rebuilt for the tourists).

Castel Grande, where we ended up is the most impressive castle dating from the 13th to 15th centuries. Along with the other two castles – Montebello (below) and Sasso Corbaro (looming above), UNESCO declared it a World Heritage Site. Set on a high plateau on the west side of the old town, Castel Grande’s two main features are two square towers (the White Tower and the, wait for it, Black Tower). These are joined by crenellated (trying saying that are a few drinks – even Spellchecker doesn’t recognise the word) walls forming inner baileys.

It had been a bit of a haul to reach it (two passes and dealing with modern Bellinzona itself) but the castles lived up to expectation and there was free car parking outside where we could eat a picnic lunch so we couldn’t complain.

Just down the road lay the long slender Lake Maggiore which overlapped both the Swiss and Italian borders. Its about 40 miles long and 6 miles wide, hemmed in by mountains and dominated by a Mediterranean climate. When I read I would see palm trees in Switzerland, I didn’t believe it until we got here.

Originally, I was going to drive to Locarno, but it was such a ferociously hot afternoon, that when we saw the Lake, there were squeals of 'Stop, stop' from the ladies and I headed down the first side street I could find, parked up and had an hour mooching around the lakeside. There were fine old Italian mansions, blooming flowers, the locals having a lazy time by the lake, swans swanning around and even a family of Great Crested Grebes with a couple of babies floating in between the parents. In this heat, Locarno could wait for another trip.

We had seen a variety of scenery today from the majestic valley outside St Moritz, a superb waterfall, a couple of spectacular frozen passes , a huge castle and now a lovely lake in blazing heat. All this in less than 100 miles. It would have been nice to explore the old lakeside towns, but Italy will be a future major road trip and I wanted to head north for the next area of Switzerland.

So we got onto the A2 motorway heading north and I put my foot down. The Swiss police like their speed cameras and they are pretty sneaky with them. Unlike the good old English ones where they pretty much tell you there is one coming up and they even paint them in bright yellow so you can’t miss them (so when you do get a fine for speeding, they can smugly say ‘Well, its not as if we didn’t tell you!”), the Swiss ones just appear out of nowhere, disguised as non-descript boxes. You pass them before you’ve realised. I haven’t received a ticket yet, but I passed a couple well over the speed limit.

There were numerous tunnels on this road ranging from a 100 metres to around 3 km and then the biggie – the St Gotthard tunnel. While it was nowhere near as long as some of the Norwegian tunnels I had used in the summer of 2006, it was the longest tunnel in Switzerland – 9 miles and it had been originally completed in 1880 which is very impressive for its time.

On the other side of the tunnel, my intention was to cross the Sustenpass at 2224m, heading for Interlaken - but it was still blocked by snow. I had no choice but return to the A2. So I opted to continue north to Luzern to revisit a city I had once taken tour groups around back in the late 1980s on their ‘Let’s do Western Europe in a month’ tours.

We found a campsite just outside the centre. It was still 30’c at 7pm. Switzerland was having a heat wave this week. Unlike last night’s small and deserted campsite, this one was large and packed. There was a Dutch couple on one side and an English motorcyclist on the other. Across the way was an English caravan. The Swiss obviously liked to keep the ‘tourists’ in their own little compound away from the locals.

As the tent went up and supper was cooked, various teenagers camped nearby would walk past and stare into the car and the Dutch car. I thought this was strange and that they must be Eastern European or even Russian to take so much interest in what we was doing and the nothing special looking car. Of course, it didn't occur to me that they were more interested in Wendy's daughters. Eventually I asked one kid where they were from. It turned out they were Swiss High School kids on a school trip!

Once we had made contact, about 15 of them gathered around us (both girls and boys) and sat down and had a chat. They seemed non plussed when I told them that one of my current favourite rock bands was ‘Gotthard’ a Swiss melodic rock band – only the biggest selling band in Switzerland. The only decent thing to do was to teach them as many bad words in English as possible – wanker, twat, bollocks etc. They roared with laughter. So much so that some Billy No Mates Swiss camper walking his dog, complained about the noise (at 9pm?). That’s the traditional Swiss mentality for you. No one should rock the boat and god forbid, be allowed to have a good time.

I failed miserably to learn the Swiss equivalents of bad words. Finally, their jaded teachers/guardians descended and shoed them away to brush their teeth before turning in (more than I did after a couple of bottles of cheap Italian red). They were probably relieved that we had let them have some time off from the kids but it was nice to make contact with the Swiss youth. I had been tempted to ask them why they were looking in the car but was worried they might say ‘because we haven’t seen such a f**king bollocks shit car before – you wanker/twat’.

The following morning, we packed up and headed into the centre of Luzern, and parked in a cramped underground car park for a quick tour of my old tour stamping ground – the medieval city. In my local library, I had discovered ‘Rick Steve’s Switzerland 2005’ guidebook. I’ve never heard of him or saw his TV series on Switzerland, but surprisingly he had some useful stuff – well better than Lonely Planet that I didn’t bother with (well you don’t if you can).

“Luzern has long been Switzerland’s tourism capital (Has it? News to me). Situated on the edge of a lake, with a striking Alpine panorama as a backdrop, Luzern has drawn visitors like…” blah blah and finally Bob Jack who annoyed the locals on the campsite. Mr Steve continues “Luzern has been a no-brainer on the ‘Grand Tour’ route of Europe. And, with a charming old town, (Steve – take it from me - never start a sentence with ‘And’) a pair of picture-perfect wooden bridges (Steve - one was partly burnt down), a gaggle of world-class museums (damn it – missed them, sorry Steve) and a famous weeping lion (missed that too Steve), there’s still enough in Luzern to earn it a place on any Swiss itinerary. Luzern is worth at least a full day…”

Yes, well…In truth, I’d agree with all of this, but having been a few times before, today Luzern got an hour! For starters, the most famous sight, Chapel Bridge (Kapellbrucke), the oldest, longest, covered wooden bridge in Europe was closed today! It dominates the Reuss River by the old town with it’s colourful 17th Century paintings overhead as you walk through it for a couple of hundred feet. Part of it had burnt down in 1993, a few years after I had last visited it, but they had painstakingly rebuilt it and redone the paintings. Is the bridge as good as I remember? I'll never know unless I come back. Nevertheless the bridge still looks impressive crossing the river in a weird kind of way and despite the fact I have seen world famous sights far and wide, I never forgot the old bridge in Luzern. There is another one further down the river – original, more straight forward and just as old. I won’t bore you with the reasons they were built.

The medieval centre is just as I remembered it. Tourist town! Essentially you have a bunch of narrow medieval streets with ye old buildings and painted facades above the eye line of usual tourist shops at ground level. Weinmarkt Square (the old marketplace for wine and a place after my own heart) has most of the old three and four storey buildings covered in medieval paintings (obviously touched up on a regular basis).

What Stevie boy didn’t mention was the fact that Luzern is central Siwtzerland’s largest town, lying on the western shore of Lake, er Luzern. From its origins as a fishing village, it grew into an important staging point when the St Gotthard Pass (not the tunnel) was opened in 1220. During the Reformation, it led the Catholic resistance in Switzerland. But if you’re not Catholic, you probably don’t care. Bet they sent the first soldiers to guard the Pope in Rome.

While the girls went shopping (so much for the sights Steve), I checked out the Jesuit Church (Jesuitenkirkce) by the river. Built around 1670 and financed by the Pope who wanted to make an impression, there was a service going on, mid morning with about 4 people and the organ playing. The original Baroque stucco decorations had fallen off the walls (bloody Italian cowboy decorators) but had been replaced in lighter Rococo style (whatever that means). It was ok. Nothing special. Just a large tidy church but quite atmospheric with the organ music floating around inside.

There are other squares in ye olde Luzern, and lots of twinky narrow streets and decorated houses, but unless you are a medieval historian, you can comfortably tour the area in a couple of hours. It’s a relaxed place where you can sit and watch the world go by or you can do what I did which was to take a few photos, get back to the car, wait for the others and then head for some natural scenery as soon as possible.

We followed the A2/A8 motorway south west past the Sarner-See lake and got held up by more repairs to the roads. I took a detour off to Meiringen, a quiet picturesque town which has a walk along the Aare Gorge but decided that we shouldn’t have to pay to view scenery. So we pushed on past the Brienzersee lake and headed to Lauterbrunnen up a twisty road, past a fast flowing milky white glacial river.

Lauterbrunnen will always have a place in my heart. I remember being taken there by my parents in August 1968 (aged 8) and camping by the awe inspiring Stabbach Falls whose waters plunge 300m (984ft) down a sheer rock face. It was the biggest waterfall I had ever seen in my life. We had arrived in the dark and camped. When my brother Richard (aged 6) awoke in the morning with a view of the waterfall from his camp-bed, he asked my parents “Is this heaven?” We had visited in August and there was some kind of national celebration and everyone carried paper lanterns. I remember seeing a long line of lights stretching all the way to the base of the waterfall. Twenty years later, I had also taken my tour groups to Lauterbrunnen in the late 80s as a highlight of Switzerland. It is after all, the largest U-shaped valley in the world.

Twenty years further on from my last visit, Lauterbrunnen was a ‘traffic free’ town but not this early in the season. Good news. Car parking was free. The only change was that access to the waterfall was restricted so you could only climb up through one route that was ‘closed’. We asked a local and he said ‘just do it’. So we did. Climbing up to a tunnel, We continued to a staircase that was cut into the rock to the right of the waterfall. When the wind blew, the waterfall was blown across my view/face. We sneaked back down and ignored other inquisitive tourist faces about why we had ignored the signs and clambered over the fence.

In the beautiful sunshine, it was tempting to set up camp in the campsite facing the waterfall, but it was too early. We drove back down the valley and took a side road to Grindelwald. The road wound its way along the Lutschen valley past another fast rushing glacial river the colour of milky coffee.

Grindelwald was larger than Lauterbrunnen and geared to the tourist. Nestled beneath the giant Wetterhorn, Metterberg and Eiger, this lively resort village has long been one of the most popular destinations in the Alps. There was a glorious backdrop of snow capped grey granite mountains with sheer slopes. I spotted a sign saying “Oberer Glacier” and followed the road out of town past the wooden chalets and beautiful cows until the road stopped. From there, it was 10 minute hike through a forest to the bottom of a steep cliff.

The 3 Euro admission charge let you climb up a steep wooden staircase that went on and on up the slope. I counted the steps – 972! More than the Cathedral in Ulm. Good exercise on the calf muscles. There was a small café at the top but no oxygen mask. The trail wound on a little further to a very narrow gorge which was being carved by a glacial river and a metal wire swingbridge over the gorge with a long drop below. The glacier was still much higher up, but this was as far as you could go. So unlike Norway and Iceland where you can actually walk on glaciers, this one was just a distant view. No matter. The climb and views around made it one of the highlights of the trips. Anyone with a pacemaker may consider avoiding this excursion. Lauren and Charlie considered this the highlight of their trip (apart from the shopping).

On the way down, there was a crack like thunder. We turned around to see an avalanche above us, tumble down a nearby cliff. It was hundreds of metres above but still made a loud noise. This was the result of the sunshine melting the upper snow packs. The power of nature!

Again it was tempting to stay in Grindelwald but driving out of town, we failed to spot any campsites until the bottom of the hill. We did pass half a dozen typical Swiss cows being herded down the road by a mother and daughter. The cowbells clanged away as they plodded along. Ah… Switzerland.

I decided to drive the short distance into Interlaken and found a quiet campsite there with a view of the Jungfrau (the tallest mountain in Switzerland). For some reason the camp site was called the Jungfrau campsite. We met an English couple who had been in France for a week where it had poured with rain everyday. They had finally fled to Switzerland. “Really?” I gloated. “I haven’t seen rain since leaving England a week ago. It’s been a heat wave here”. Bummer.

Our final day in Switzerland started by not having a view of Jungfrau and then driving to Thun just to have a look at its Fairy tale castle (Schloss Thun). Built around 1190, there were tall turrents which loomed over the original old town and most of castle was painted white with red tiled roofs. We were there just for a quick look so didn’t go in.

The A6 took us up to Bern which was our major destination for the day. I had never visited the capital of Switzerland. Rick Steve’s book said “The city, founded in 1191, has managed to avoid war damage and hasn’t burnt down since a great fire in 1405. After the fire, wooden buildings were no longer allowed and Bern gained its grey-green sandstone complexion”. It was originally built within a bend in the Aare River and was invaded by Napoleon in 1798 whose army drank all the wine that Bern was famous for (well you would, wouldn’t you). It became the capital of Switzerland in 1848. The German speaking town has about 130,000. “Its pointy towers, sandstone buildings and colourful fountains make Bern one of Europe’s finest surviving medieval towns”.

It was a fantastic place to walk around. Wide cobbled streets such as the Kramgasse (pretty much traffic free) had been arcaded to allow medieval craftsmen to display their goods. There were three miles of stone arcades in the old town! Medieval guilds had evolved and their symbols still adorn the buildings where they were based (eg the Weavers Guild at No 68 has a gilt griffin on the wall)

We discovered that Albert Einstein had lived in this street (No 49) for a couple of years in 1903 just down the road from the fantastic clock tower (Zytglogge-turm) which was part of the original city wall in 1250 (no mention of the fact that prostitutes used to be locked up in the tower). The clock itself built in 1530 has some animations four minutes before each hour, and the clock face is huge to show the time, zodiac, today’s date and the stage of the moon. No wonder the Swiss got a reputation for building clocks.

There are endless fountains in the old town, everyone unique, often with images of Bern’s medieval mascot – a bear. Samson was on one grappling with a lion, the statue of Justice was blindfolded on another and in the Kornhausplatz was a colourful Ogre eating a child. A nice theme for a fountain! Nearby is the Kornhauskeller, originally a massive wine granary built in Baroque style in 1718, now a posh restaurant. You pop down some stairs and look down over the restaurant with its twelve pillars. You have to see this place to believe it.

Bern itself was gearing up for Euro 2008 the following week and football mobiles were hanging everywhere off the walls. Flags of all competing countries were draped around. It was strange how the Union Jack was missing – oh now I remember. We were crap and got knocked out before the event.

We ended up at the Neo-Renaissance style Bundeshaus (Parliament) built in 1902 which unlike the Houses in Parliament in London had no security blocking it off from the real world. There was a modern plaza in front of it with weird fountains going on, and the locals all eating lunches or sunbathing nearby. It was also the HQ of the drunk and strange brigade.

Finally, we popped into the Cathedral (Munster) which was built in late Gothic style. Started in 1421, they didn’t actually stick a spire on it until 1893 (I knew we forgot something. Doh!). It’s a three aisle basilica with fan vaulting, side chapels and a tower. Actually the best feature is the Tympanum which is outside by the entrance with a striking depiction of the Last Judgement. The damned are thrown into hell on the left and the do gooders head upwards on the right. I’m going straight to hell. It was an impressive Cathedral. You’ll see better and you’ll see worse. I guess this is the best that Switzerland has to offer.

I would thoroughly recommend Bern. We didn’t do it justice in the two hours we were there. It was just a quick visit to get an idea of the place. I didn’t get to visit the Kunstmuseum (snigger) either. I’ll return one day and visit every fountain in the city. It’s a photographer’s paradise for detail.

I may have knocked Rick Steve’s book but he did tell me about a place called Murten that was another highlight on the trip. It’s just half an hour south west of Bern down the A12/E27. I had never heard of it and it is superb. I had read that “The finest medieval ramparts in Switzerland surround the 5,000 people of Murten….is a totally charming mini-Bern with lively streets, the middle one nicely arcaded with breezy outdoor cafes”.

Arriving in mid afternoon, it was very relaxed place. The street cafes were packed (and even more packed when my ladies stopped to sit and drink a cold beer) while I walked along the cobbled Haupt Gasse. I spotted the Ramparts (city walls) which surround much of the town. Climbing up to them, I had a view over the rooftops. A few things were immediately obvious. Every roof top had the same coloured orange tiles, every chimney was identical (except one) and no telephone wires or TV aerials were visible. This was deliberate. Local laws have attempted to keep modernization at bay. Consequently, you have a restored medieval village that looks wonderful. As Mr Steve recommended – stay in Murten and catch the train to Bern for day trips. I’d agree. Murten is a lovely little town to stay.

Time was moving on. We got back on the E27 motorway, kept heading south through Emmental countryside (as in cheese) and turned off at Bulle and made for a place called Broc. Nestles chocolate factory was based here and offered tours but I hadn’t reserved one and it was too late anyway. Nevertheless, the gift shop was still open and unfortunately full of a final coach load of yelling kids. I got talking to an english woman who had been here a decade ago. “Its not the same” she said. “You don’t get to see the chocolate being made anymore. There is more marketing. But you still get to try some freebies”. “You came back?” I asked her. “Well I have young daughter now and we couldn’t miss this place”. The only good thing is that the gift shop sells the chocolate at a slightly reduced rate (but they don’t sell any reject chocolate at 50% discount like Cadbury’s in Tasmania, Australia. Shame!)

There was one final place to visit just down the road. Gruyeres is another old medieval village laying within a fortified hilltop with a castle as it major feature. Like Murten, there are no telephone lines or satellite dishes. It is ultra touristy in a relaxed Swiss kind of way. Below it, we discovered a cheese factory with rows of local Gruyeres cheese on racks. I had never seen so much cheese in one place (see photo for explanation). I managed to hoover up all the freebie samples before being spotted.

And that was it. Switzerland in 4 days. We didn’t have enough time to pop down to Lausanne and Montreux by the lake to pay my respects to the place that ‘Smoke On The Water’ is written about. Geneva was also missed (only to see the water fountain in Lake Geneva).

It had been a rapid road trip. Switzerland hadn’t changed much in 20 years since my last visit and I doubt it will change before my next visit where I would prefer to have the time to do some hillwalking.

Having been up since 6am today, it was 7pm before I decided we had to head back to Calais for a 6.20am ferry. The long route home took us back to Bern, then Basil onto the A5. At a garage, I noticed that one of our headlight reflectors had dropped off. I smeared Brie cheese over the headlight instead. Somehow, in the darkness, while my passengers slept, I missed the A35 and ended up in Karlsruhe on the E35, heading north west rather than north east. I headed west for Ludwigshafen then Saarbrucken, skirted through Luxembourg (country Number 8), up to Namur (skipping Brussels), across to Mons and Lille and finally to Calais. I had taken the latter half of this journey before on my Heidelburg weekend in 2006 so the signposts/route were familiar.

I reached Calais around 5.15am exhausted after the marathon 10 hour non stop drive and had to wait/nap 30 minutes before we were allowed to pass through the ticket office to line up for the ferry. I crashed on the boat for 90 minutes kip, drove back into Dover and back up to Norwich. After a shower, I drove to work by 12.30. For some reason, I didn’t do much in the afternoon but back at home, got my second wind. It was 2am before I went to bed. Oh well, good practise for the Mongolian Rally in July.