Thailand (Part 1)

July 2000

Bangkok - "sex city of the world". Not that I ever saw any depravity during my first week. Must have visited the wrong areas. We touched down at Bangkok International Airport where there was a sign `Welcome to the Land of SmilesE It was just like Heathrow. We hadn't seen an airport like this since Athens. They even had a shuttle bus going downtown which took us to within half a mile of our chosen guesthouse. Motorised traffic everywhere. Good roads. An urban landscape of bland concrete, high rising towers with awful designs. Neon signs with the names of Western companies everywhere (DHL, Sharp, Canon etc). I started to miss the cows wandering down the streets. Our bus was full of tourists, but no one talked to each other. We were now tourists, not travellers, and Thailand gets a lot of them. 10m a year by 2001. We soon found out why. It is a really comfortable place to visit and very friendly.

We would be making two visits to Thailand – before and after the trail around Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos. The first visit would take in Bangkok and environs. The second visit would take in Northern Thailand all the way down to Malaysia in the south.

Our guesthouse was clean with a hot shower and Sat. TV with HBO movies and CNN. Luxury for $4 a night each. It was on a quiet back street about 10 minutes walk from the major tourist area on the Khao San Road. Along the road there was a small Thai-boxing gym where local boys kicked hell out of each other. Or rather didn't. I always thought that the idea was to get as many body blows with your feet to the opposition's body until he crumpled into a bloody mess - but it was more subtle. You seemed to get points just for hitting the body with soft kicks. They sweated a lot and made a lot of grunting noises (wouldn't you - lifting your legs above your waist repetitively for minutes on end?) but noone got hurt. Why not give them weapons and do it properly?

The problem (or rather not!) with Bangkok is that the total westernisation makes it very easy for many tourists to just sit around drinking beer in the shade or watch movies at cafes. It goes on 24 hours a day, and we were still able to still go out at 2am for supper at the market vendors. But after a month in the wilderness, we had a lot of business to complete (which makes much of this report dull but that's what we did). However, by also taking advantage of the non-stop facilities, I ended up getting about 4 hours sleep a night for 5 days on the trot. I left the place exhausted.

The first thing I noticed about Bangkok was how `large` Western tourists are. I hadn`t seen so many since Kathmandu and they stuck out like giants. Much taller and plumper than the locals, they ambled around like strange monsters with money to burn. They were everywhere. It was only when I rose around 5am and pottered around the streets to watch the locals set up their stalls and sit in the markets eating their noodle soup, that I felt that I had the place to myself. By 9am, the tourists were back on the prowl looking to burn up their holiday by doing nothing in particular.

Everyone complains about how hectic Bangkok is, but when we arrived, they were having their `Tao Pansa` the Buddhist Lent (which Myanmar had started just as we left). For the first two days of our stay which were public holidays, the traffic was virtually non existent.

The travel agencies are geared up to do everything for you. But as an excuse to explore the city in a haphazard fashion, we spent 3 days catching local buses around the city to visit and revisit the Vietnam and Cambodian embassies to secure visas for the next part of the trip. They were simple efficient procedures, but Vietnam's visa was a hefty $50. Cambodia's $20. I also popped into the British Embassy. After only 3 years, my passport was almost full of visas and stamps! They wanted £60 to replace it so I passed for now. They also had reports of bombs going off in the Laos capital of Vientiane on a regular basis.

We were able to replenish our depleted US dollars at a bank using our credit cards and get them across the counter. Unlike the Indian fiascos in banks, it was quick and simple. In and out in 10 minutes with whatever denominations we wanted. There were ATMs everywhere to withdraw the local currency (Baht) which seemed to disappear as fast as we got it.

I had 20 films developed and sent a large parcel home from the post office at postage rates which were extortionate (£30 for 6kg). Jo had recently discovered that some of her Indian parcels have been broken into and anything that could be sold had been stolen - even after the parcels were sealed with wax. I have no idea if mine are getting through and in what state. We spent hours on the Internet at night (available until 1.30am).

Food was cheap and tasty and lacking the hot spices we were used to. We ate at market stalls - sliced beef and noodle soups for breakfast, spring rolls, endless pork kebabs (10p a stick), anything that took our fancy. One particular soup dish was popular - chunks of pork with whole duck eggs in it. A meal in itself. With constant availability and tastiness, we tended to pig out. I could also buy 3 pints of beer for £1.72 from the all night 7-11s which predominate the city. Big Mistake! All that previous weight loss was in danger of returning. Jo was in her element with ‘BootsEthe chemist everywhere.

In between all the dashing around, we found time to take in some of the sights. Ratanakosin is the old Royal `island` (the old defensive canals have been filled in and turned into wide roads). It contains the most important and extravagant sights that Bangkok has to offer and it was only a 15 minute walk from our guesthouse.

The 61-acre Grand Palace with its surrounding tall whitewashed walls dominates the area. It was built in 1785 to mark the founding of the new Thai nation after they beat the Burmese invasion back. Most of it is off limits except for the superb `Wat Phra Kaeo; "the apogee of Thai religious art and the holiest Buddhist site in the country"(Rough Guide). It is a jigsaw of structures defended by numerous 20ft tall Zahsha, gaudy colourful demons from the Buddhist scriptures called the Ramayana. The whole complex was surrounded by over a kilometre of painted frescoes on the outer walls detailing the stories from the Ramayana which were very impressive. There were a splendid hash of styles - golden stupas, glass mosaics and gold gilded statues everywhere.

The enormous Royal Temple, supported by 112 golden Garudas (birdmen), and sparkling with gold and coloured glass, contained the tiny emerald Buddha made of jasper. Perched on a 30ft high pedestal, this is Thailand`s lucky emblem. Thailand`s power rests with this dwarf! We had to take our shoes off and sit and gaze while not pointing our feet at the statue. Apparently, the King himself personally comes to change the dwarf`s clothes with a costume for each of the three seasons - hot (swimming trucks?), cold (thermal underwear?), rainy (umbrella?), but I have no idea how he gets up there – with a forklift truck? Thai people take their monarchy seriously. No jokes or scandal please. There were portraits of the King and Queen on billboards all over the country. Consequently, a Thai tabloid press had never taken off.

As we left in the late sunny afternoon, when the site was closing, two shy Thai girls approached us. They had an English pronunciation test the next day and wanted to practise and improve. The guards let us sit with them for an hour in the now empty complex. It was an enchanting experience. But my mouth was sore from mouthing the sounds to correct my pupil. Full marks for initiation though – find a tourist to put you right!

Next door, the Wat Pho temple complex had 20 acres of lively shambolic structures. There were over a 100 golden gilded Buddhas surrounding the Temple of the Reclining Buddha. This was a massive 46m long golden Buddha who had reached Nirvana (his smile was 5m wide! – obviously had a good night out) lying out like a beached whale. The elegant teak doors of the temple were decorated with mother of pearl showing stories from the ‘RamayanaE I must read this one day – looks like a gripping story. Monsters, demons, star wars etc.

We were approached by a gaggle of smartly dressed Thai University students from the Pharmacy Faculty. They wanted to interview us about our thoughts about Thailand (even though we had only been in the country for 2 days). They taped our conversation and were chatty and giggly. Our reward was a postcard. On the back they had written `Good luck to you. We hope you will visit Thailand again please`. Which was nice. We already loved the Thai people. Despite the enormous numbers of tourists, they had not yet reached ‘saturation pointEand were curious to talk to us. Inevitably, there were a few beggars, but everyone let us go on our way without hassling us. Some boys from a High school also interviewed me. Their English wasn`t as good as the University students, but they knew more about English football than I did.

Elsewhere in the city, we passed a hospital with a Buddhist temple in the courtyard, Relatives of patients inside stopped to light candles and incense and pray for their recovery. Something that the British hospitals should consider – praying to get the waiting lists down.

Nearby, there was a superb five ton solid gold Buddha at Wat Traimet – surprisingly known as `The Temple of the Golden Buddha`. It was originally covered in plaster to hide it from invading enemies in the past, and it was not until it was dropped from a crane in 1955 by accident (as you do), that the gold one appeared. It is now worth $20m. This sparked off chaos around the country. Every plaster cast Buddha was chipped open to see if there were any other gold ones inside. No others were discovered, but a lot of repair work had to be done on the attacked Buddhas.

After 4 days in town, which were much more enjoyable than I had anticipated, we headed west to Kanchanaburi for 3 days. It was a cheap and comfortable fast three hours away by local bus on well surfaced roads. We left Bangkok`s western suburbs into the Central Plains region of paddy and sugarcane fields. In the mid-afternoon humidity (temps were always around 32`C) which had been building, a huge rainstorm came in through the open windows – but it was very refreshing.

The riverside town of Kanchanaburi has long attracted tourists to the notorious Bridge over the River Kwai. It was a laid back town, obviously geared up for the tourists, but relaxing. We found an excellent guesthouse, with bamboo wicker walls, a good fan and a bucket to flush the toilet, though the mosquitoes beat us back into the room after dusk.

The town is famous as the site of the World War II Japanese Prisoner of War camp where Allied prisoners were forced to build a 415km long railway from Thailand to Burma (forging a link between two newly occupied Japanese territories) through impenetrable jungle. 60,000 POWs were shipped up from SE Asia to build it. 16,000 POWs (and 100,000 Asian labourers!) died in the effort to build the `Death Railway` mostly from beriberi malaria/cholera, dysentery and malnutrition. Bridging the River Kwai was the first major obstacle before they tackled the jungle. Sections of bridge were shipped up from Java by the Japanese and put together by their prisoners. The 1950`s movie has built up the legend about the struggle, but shortly and ironically after it was built, we blew it to bits with aerial bombardments. It has since been rebuilt. I whistled the movie theme tune as I walked across wondering why there were no Japanese tourists about.

The town also contains a picturesque graveyard of nearly 7000 POWs amidst immaculately kept lawns and flowering shrubs. 38 Allied POWs died for each kilometre laid of the railway track which only saw two years service. The JEATH War Museum was a real eye opener to the gruesome conditions that were endured (JEATH standing for the six countries involved in building the railway – Japan, England, Australia, America, Thailand and Holland). There were lots of photos and sketches of the times, done by the POWs themselves. Eye-witness accounts regaled about starvation being so rampant that they were forced to eat maggots which infested the toilets, and when they cleaned out the Japanese officer`s toilet buckets, they would get the red beans that had passed whole through the digestive system, wash them off and eat them.

There were also vivid descriptions about Japanese atrocities:

To lighten the atmosphere, we did a couple of daytrips away from these terrible stories using the local buses. Sai Yok National Park (500 km sq. in area) lay 2 hours away and was completely tourist free. We walked through lovely teak forests in peace and quiet, past blooming trees of reds and oranges and colourful butterflies. The silence was wonderful. The River Kwai flowed through the park and we discovered the ruins of a Japanese army kitchen left in the jungle.

At Nam Tok, down the road, we boarded the Death Railway to take us back to Kanchanaburi. Four old wooden carriages were shunted into the tiny but well kept station and a diesel locomotive attached. It was empty when we boarded but a couple of stops down the line, it was filled with Thai schoolchildren on their way home and tour groups boarding for the experience. The jungle has been tamed a lot since the track was constructed and it is now really a tourist ride past splendid jungle scenery alongside the river. The open windows allowed a pleasant breeze as we passed through the solid rock cuttings which had caused so many POW deaths. It wasn`t as spectacular as I had imagined but a pleasant journey nevertheless, especially when you knew what had gone into building it.

Erwawan National Park lay 2 hours northwest in a similar direction but in a different valley. Famous for its series of seven picturesque waterfalls, this is a tourist Mecca both with westerners and Thai people who come for family picnics by the falls. There were 10ft square low bamboo tables set up everywhere, and one Thai family invited us to partake of their host of goodies laid out for the forthcoming lunch. Jo had to drag me away before I attempted to eat it all.

We climbed an idyllic 2 km litter free jungle trail past the sets of waterfalls which were all different. The water was clear blue and there were pools where you could swim and lay in to cool down. The nibbling fish kept Jo at bay! The waterfalls were shaded by bamboos, rattans and other clotted vegetation “like sets for a Tarzan movieE(Rough Guide). Despite the numbers of tourists, it wasn't crowded and we climbed up to the upper most level of falls. The steep muddy trails using vines to clamber up, allow only the most determined to reach them. Here I was able to do Tarzan impressions, climbing up the waterfalls, diving into the plunge pools and feeling at one with the jungle. Jo described it as `paradise`. Definitely one of Thailand`s highlights.

Back in Kanchanaburi, we made some new friends. We discovered Dick, an aimless 18-year old Swedish student on his first trip abroad. Hopelessly lost in a town we knew by heart within 30 minutes. He wanted to go to Cambodia and we agreed to meet up in Bangkok and get him there.

On our final evening, we ate at our regular outside cafe used by the locals. Great food at ridiculous prices (about £1 each for as much as we could swallow). At the next table sat a Thai man and 4 women. We were invited over and, primed with beers (I was not allowed to buy any since we were the guests, sat chatting for the next couple of hours. Mr Kosol was an Bangkok `Medicinal herb` manufacturer visiting old friends with his wife Kalyak Ori (a businesswomen in her own right). The three friends were all single female teachers in their early 40s. They could not speak English so we had a 3-way conversation – Mr Kosol would translate what we said to them and what they wanted to ask us. We were told that Thai people did not get the chance to talk to many western tourists because they didn`t like to “imposeEso they were highly honoured that we would sit and chat with them. We learnt a lot about Thailand and the fact that Thai teachers earn about £1000 a year. I also hinted that I was on the look out for a Thai wife (preferably a teacher) which had them in fits of embarrassed laughter. It was a lovely evening and we felt as if we had made contact with real Thai people – not just the ones you talk too while trying to get around (stall holders, bus drivers etc).

We reluctantly returned to Bangkok for a final two nights. On our last day, we visited the Vimanmek Palace. Moved from a previous site and reconstructed in Bangkok as a summer retreat, by King Rama V in 1901(I think King Rama IX is now the king), it is the largest teak building in the world and built without a single nail. Verandas that looked out over well-kept lawns, flower gardens and lotus ponds encircled the L-shaped Celestial Palace. It was a magnificent 81-room building with very tasteful interiors (red, green, blue colour schemes in different sections). We had an excellent and informative 45 minute guided tour by a pretty female Thai guide and saw Thailand's first inside bathroom and shower, and the King`s golden throne (not the one in the bathroom!). It was one of the most impressive buildings I`d ever seen.

Outside, after the tour, there was a display of traditional Thai dancing. A bevy of colourfully dressed women came out and swirled around with wicker baskets. A couple of men did a display of kickboxing, trying to beat the crap out of each other with traditional weapons (that`s more like it!). A woman did a strange snake dance where she stayed stationary but moved her arms and legs in strange movements(very hypnotic – I nearly fell asleep) and finally the women piled out in new costumes for a final flourish of jig-a-jig. It was enjoyable, if touristy.

In the `Bangkok Post` that day, my horoscope said `you`re learning quickly, but you may feel swamped. You have so much to do, in so little time. If you can keep up, success is assured. You need to burn the midnight oil to make that happen though, so burn baby burn`. The next day would prove that we had burnt ourselves out!

Costs in Thailand for 10 days (in British Pounds Sterling)

Travel - £12.55
Accommodation - £29.16
Food - £57.18
Other - £297.35 (including $70 for Cambodia/Vietnam visas, photo dev, parcels & Internet)
Total - £396.24

Grand Total - £3938.17