We drove onto the Turkmenistan border which was visible from the Kazakhstan building. En route, the driver stopped at a small hut and stuck three cartons of LJ cigarettes under his arm to give to the guards. Some kind of bribing was going on. I noticed a woman in our car also had a carton of LJ cigarettes in her bag which were gone when we set off again. Then we parked up at the building 400 metres further on, where we were ushered in. The driver took us to the first office. Here, we had to pay 400 Tenge each to a guard who then took us to another office to pay the official $12 ‘Welcome tax’. This was obviously set up to enhance their pay.

Then we stood at a counter while they examined our visas. A young man walked up and said “My name is Shavcat. I am your guide.” This 23 year old student had come up from Turkmenbashi yesterday, hung around for four hours waiting for us, and then crashed at some local flophouse and reappeared today. “I became good friends with these officers yesterday when I had to wait”. Our visas were stamped but he was held back. “Why?” I asked. ”They are just questioning my ID”. I thought he had got on well with them yesterday so why were they giving him a hard time? Then we had our backpacks searched and they wanted to see the photos on our cameras. This was problematic because I had taken photos of the border crossings including this one (illegal), but managed to flick through so fast that he didn’t get a chance to get a good look. Another young guard flicked through my books – as if he could read English. Finally we were waved through. Xenophobia still runs deep in Turkmenistan authority which is why you can’t enter without being on a ‘guided tour’.

We had assumed that we would leave the driver here and that our guide would have a car. Wrong. Shavcat negotiated with our driver so that we (with him squeezed in the boot section) could go all the way to Turkmenbashi. Once everyone had been processed, we all got back in the jeep and headed south across dusty mud tracks that were even worse than the ones we had already crossed.

Approaching Bekdash, it looked like a broken down and deserted industrial city – which it was, once the Russians left. Massive factories stood empty, deteriorating in the heat and dust. The driver pulled in at local café for lunch. Shavcat took me to a money changer nearby to get some Manet (the Turkmenistan currency). The passengers sat on a carpet on an elevated platform around a low table. We had battered fish, raw onions, bread and a cold ‘Burk’ beer. Shavcat was fasting for Ramadan and did not join us. I think he was shocked when we started drinking beer. After the meal, I needed a pee. “Where are the toilets?” I asked. He replied “They are not so good here. I will ask the driver to stop for you outside town.” He forgot.

The road south of Bekdash got even worse than before as we headed for Karabogas, another deserted ex-Russian industrial city. There were huge flat white expanses which I thought was salt. “Sulphur” the driver pointed. This city had produced sulphur and these were the remnants. We had been asking Shavcat questions about Turkmenistan. I had read that Turkmenistan was an ‘oil/gas rich’ country making billions of dollars yet all we had seen so far were no roads, crumbling cities and people living very poorly. “Where is all the money going?” I asked. “You’ll see when we get to Ashgabat”. He had told us that you could buy two litres of petrol for 1p! and in addition, that everyone in the country was given tokens to get 120 litres free a month. Utilities were paid for as well since natural gas was unlimited. On our ride to Turkmenibashi, we saw a huge ball of fire exploding out of a tall pipe – natural gas just being wasted.

After we left Karabogas, we had the Caspian Sea on our right and the Garabogaz Sea on our left. We passed between them on a thin land barrier and the occasional bridge. On our 2008 trip, Trev and I had crossed the Caspian Sea by ferry from Baku to Aqtau. The road was still bad and our driver got a bit manic, crashing over the ruts and playing chicken with oncoming vehicles. Camels were walking by the side of the track in very desolate scenery. There was nothing growing here in the desert.

The road improved and eventually became sealed. On the outskirts of Turkmenbashi, we passed the airport. Shavcat said “This is very new. It was only opened this year.” In town, the driver dropped the other passengers and then took us to the originally named Turkmenbashi Hotel which lay by the sea, 2km north of the centre.

The towering hotel with around 20 floors and 90 rooms was 4* with a plush marble lobby and looked pretty new as well. It was set back from the road by the sea on the side of a hill. Our room was excellent and we were a little shocked at how good it was. Once we had dumped our bags, we decided to go walkabout and explore the town.

Turkmenbashi has a population of around 60,000 and it has a certain relaxed air about it. It was low rise, with a harbour and a train station. Everyone seemed to live in flats covered with multiple satellite dishes hanging off the walls. Watching TV was obviously a big pastime here. There weren’t many ‘sights’ – just a few statues, some painted in gold paint and posters of the current President. By the time we got back to the hotel, Trevor had trashed his feet with his cheap walking boots and had blisters. I had a dip in the hotel swimming pool at the front. In our room was a notice that said “DEAR GUESTS! Hotel “TURKMENBASHI” is very glad to welcome you and gently asks for careful exploitation of hotel belongings”.

Meeting up with Shavcat at dusk he was eager to eat now that Ramadan was over for the day. We walked back into town and found an outdoor café where he ordered some food and we ordered beer. “You drink a lot of beer don’t you” he commented. “It’s what English people do” we replied. As a Muslim, he didn’t drink alcohol. He told us that he had done his two year military service in this town, yet he hadn’t known where to eat in town. “How come you don’t know this place” I had asked. “Because we were based outside town and never came here.” Shavcat was very proud of his country and would make the occasional comment to show it off. When I mentioned once that something was just like we had seen in Uzbekistan he said “How do you know it wasn’t in Turkmenistan first?” he didn’t understand that we weren’t comparing countries, just making a comment that we had seen something before.

We weren’t sure what was happening with our ‘tour’. Shavcat called his boss Anita in Ashgabat who told him that we should make our own way to Ashgabat where we would get a driver. I think Shavcat was more used to rich and fussy American tourists rather than cheap English backpackers. He first suggested that we fly there. “It is just as cheap as getting a taxi” he proclaimed which I doubted. I think he just wanted to get back to Ashgabat as quickly as possible. We had told him to call the airport and see if there were flights and how much. He had discovered that all three flights were full but that we could turn up and join a waiting list in case some people didn’t show. I had no faith that there would be three spaces for us on any flight and we would end up getting to Ashgabat by road and lose half the day waiting around. So we said we would find a taxi in town early the next day.

Monday August 22nd

Turkmenistan Background (mostly stolen from the CIA website): For centuries, Turkmenistan formed part of Persia and in medieval times Merv (today known as Mary) was one of the great cities of the Islamic world and an important stop on the Silk Road. Annexed by Russia between 1865 and 1885, Turkmenistan became a Soviet republic in 1924. It achieved independence upon the dissolution of the USSR in 1991.

Turkmenistan is largely an under developed desert country. The Karakum Desert, or black sands, occupies some 90 percent of the country. Twice the size of the UK, Turkmenistan only has 5 million people (Muslim 89%, Eastern Orthodox 9%,) 30% of which live below the poverty level and there is an average annual income of $7,500. There is intensive agriculture in irrigated oases and sizeable gas and oil resources. It possesses the 4th largest natural gas reserves in the world.

The Turkmen Government is actively working to diversify its gas export routes beyond the still dominant Russian pipeline network. In 2010, new gas export pipelines that carry Turkmen gas to China and to northern Iran began operating, effectively ending the Russian monopoly on Turkmen gas exports. Their President for Life Saparmurat Niyazov died in December 2006, and Turkmenistan held its first multi-candidate presidential election in February 2007 when Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow (the name just rolls off the tongue doesn’t it?) emerged as the country's new president.

The two largest crops are cotton, most of which is produced for export, and wheat, which is domestically consumed. Although agriculture accounts for roughly 10% of GDP, it continues to employ nearly half of the country's workforce.

With an authoritarian ex-Communist regime in power and a tribally based social structure, Turkmenistan has taken a cautious approach to economic reform, hoping to use gas and cotton export revenues to sustain its inefficient economy. Privatization goals remain limited. Overall prospects in the near future are discouraging because of widespread internal poverty, endemic corruption, a poor educational system, government misuse of oil and gas revenues, and Ashgabat's reluctance to adopt market-oriented reforms. In the past, Turkmenistan's economic statistics were state secrets.

The hotel said that breakfast started at 7am but when we went down, they were still setting up. Other than a coffee machine, there was nothing on show. A waitress presented us with laminated menus that had pictures of various meals with the price. We went for the most expensive (8 Manet) which looked like an ‘English breakfast’ but was just an egg and frankfurter and some bread and honey.

At 7.40am, a taxi took us down to the centre. Shavkat wanted to get a private taxi. Since we were paying, I wanted the cheapest option. He had said there were no buses to Ashgabat, but when we arrived, there was a bus waiting. It was full. “Shared taxi” we said and found one. Our ‘guide’ negotiated a price for us. It was a roomy vehicle and we sat in the back. The road was sealed and flat, the driver was careful, the scenery was still that of a flat desert but with a long oil or gas pipe being laid to our left for miles and miles. There were brown sandy mountains and irrigated cotton fields eventually appeared. Despite the regular police checks en route, our driver was not stopped. It was a nice comfortable journey with some bad roads but mostly good that eventually turned into a motorway outside the capital city.

The 350 miles to Ashgabat had taken about 6 hours to reach and we were dropped on the outskirts. Finding a bank, I changed some more US Dollars into Manet. Shavcat waved down a taxi which took us through the impressive city to the road with a row of hotels. We checked into the Hotel Asia which had a huge stone staircase leading up from the lobby to the first floor. Here we had a spacious room with a massive plasma TV. Workers were drilling loudly in the lobby and despite the appearance of wealth, the hotel, like much of the city suffered from short intermittent electricity cuts.

Anita from Stantours arrived to discuss the rest of our tour. She was a bit bossy and trying to get us to go to a certain restaurant. Like Shavcat, I think she was more used to less travelled people and felt the need to ‘mother’ us. We would have a driver tomorrow at 10am to take us to Mary. I wanted to see Ashgabat and asked if we could spend a couple of hours tomorrow driving around the capital to see the sights before we left. I outlined the top half dozen things I wanted to see. Shavcat was leaving us here. I think we were both glad. To us, he seemed very naïve and we could have done everything without him. Maybe he reported back to the Government “Those two Englishmen are crazy. I couldn’t control them. They made fun of our country. They didn’t stop drinking beer and hardly ate. They took too many photos and they didn’t stop moving, even the short one with the blisters.” Since it was around 4pm, we decided, despite Trev’s blisters to walk up the road a mile or so to Independence Park, one of the highlights in this strange city.

Originally developed by the Russians in the late 19th Century, the city served as the capital of the Turkmen Soviet Socialist Republic from 1924 until 1991, when Turkmenistan became an independent republic. It was completely destroyed by an earthquake in 1948 killing 110,000 people which was over two thirds of its population. “With its lavish marble palaces, gleaming gold domes and vast expanses of manicured parkland, Ashgabat (the ‘city of love’) has reinvented itself as a showcase city for the newly independent republic. Built almost entirely off the receipts of Turkmenistan’s oil and gas sales…” (Lonely Person’s Guide).

There are wide clean empty multi-lane roads and boulevards, rows and rows of gleaming, lavish white marble palaces, government buildings and plush high rise condominiums and residences with darkened windows, everyone of which is slightly different from each other. It must have been an architect’s dream. The white marble was sourced from all over the world and these high rise residences apparently cost $200 million each and there are dozens of them. There are queues for this posh housing. Successful applicants must make an up front payment of US $100,000 with the balance having to be made over the next 30 years. There is a significant distrust of banks amongst the Turkmen people and the up front payment is usually made from family contributions.

There are also massive marble monuments, huge statues, and other strange commemorations. The city has been designed for the car but hardly anyone can afford one. Like Las Vegas without the neon lights or Dubai without the skyscrapers and sea, it is one of the strangest, unique and beautiful places I have ever seen. My descriptions will be very poor – you really need to see my attached photos to appreciate just how magnificent it all was.

Ironically, one of the most famous sights, that of the Arch of Neutrality had been dismantled to be moved. Built in 1998, the height of the Arch is 75 metres and was the highest construction in Turkmenistan. On the top of the Arch is the golden statue of the ex President of Turkmenistan Saparmurad Niyazov, which rotates over a 24 hour period.

Nevertheless, at the massive Independence Park we found plenty to look at. The Peace Monument looked like a massive upside down toilet plunger - admittedly a plunger that had white marble with gold gilded around the edges and running water coming down over the plunger bit. As we approached it from the road, we had to pass a double line of huge 20 ft statues of warriors dressed in traditional Turkmenistan dress, outlined in gold paint. Then there was the ubiquitous golden statue of Niyazov, the ex-President who had this entire city built as a memorial to himself. Past him and a fountain surrounded by strange 5 headed bird creatures, also in gold, was a gradual ramp up towards the memorial. A pair of uniformed soldiers with their over-sized hats stood to attention in glass kiosks with a commanding officer standing off to the side checking anyone who approached.

The memorial which was pretty awesome in a “I’ve never seen anything like this before” way was surrounded by dozens of statues of warriors, famous poets and writers etc from Turkmenistan’s past. There were fountains everywhere. Some were huge round mounds of bubbling water, others were small continual bursts into the air. The impressive Parliament Building provided an immense back drop. I assume this was the Parliament Building – we couldn’t read the signs on any of the buildings. Maybe it was just a government building but it was stupendous. The trouble was, every building looked brilliant in itself. We were pottering around the memorial taking it all in when the hourly changing of the guard took place. This involved three soldiers holding their rifles straight up and doing serious goose steeping around the building with their legs at 90 degrees and they weren’t slow at moving. Meanwhile, a small group of women gardeners with their heads completely covered in scarves to keep the flies at bay, huddled down beneath a statue and waited for their shift to end. These women were obviously not living in the luxurious high rises.

Independence Park was getting a make over – I think the Arch of Neutrality had been removed from here and replaced with masses of new trees which had just been planted. In the centre of the park was a crappy looking complex – obviously from Russian times, but we never found out what it was. So much for having a guide in Turkmenistan. Not that we minded. It was nice to be independent again just for a few hours. There were fountains all over the park – all different.

One final strange monument was a huge replica of the ‘Ruhnama’ book. This had been a masterpiece ‘divinely inspired’ and ‘written’ (my quotes) by ex President Niyazov. This 'Book of the Soul' dominates the life of his subjects. Written between 1997 and 2001, it fills bookstores across the country and has been made the cornerstone of an otherwise ravaged educational establishment. 'On a par with the Bible and the Koran, it is to be used as a Spiritual Guide,' writes Niyazov in the introduction, 'to remove the complexities and anguishes from day to day living.'

Ashgabat's parks are staggering in size. Trees have been planted in massive numbers, with over two million spruce trees being planted over the last ten years. Yet with an annual rainfall of just 80mm per year it was astounding to see so many huge and beautiful fountains and so much irrigation. There is even an artificial river running through the city. Water is supplied from the Karakum Canal, one of the largest irrigation canals in the world, pumping water from the great Amu Darya River across the Karakum Desert. In former Soviet days it was used to open up the enormous tracts of Turkmenistan's cotton farming industry. Sadly, the open canal loses around 50% of its water capacity through evaporation, causing significant salinity and ground water problems and was a major factor in the disastrous drying up of the Aral Sea.

Outside Independence Park, we walked down a boulevard past the Olympic Stadium (I don’t think they would ever get the Olympics but you never know – it is always wise to be ready) to a shopping mall. We never saw a small independent shop in town. This one was small with a supermarket on the ground floor and restaurants and cafes upstairs along with an internet café. We took the opportunity to send emails home to let everyone know that we had escaped Kazakhstan. The supermarket did not sell alcohol. Good grief. This was serious. No-one knew where you could get it or understand the word ‘Beer’. Stocking up on bottles of lemonade since it was so hot during the day, we treated ourselves to Baklava – sticky sweet syrupy delicacies. To give poor Trevor’s feet a rest, we waited outside the mall for a No 34 bus back to the hotel. These were clean, cheap and frequent. Ashgabat is not built for walking. The scale is too immense.

Despite the seemingly modern city, the conservative nature of the Turkmen people still stood out. Only generations from a once nomadic lifestyle, men tend to be the bread winners with women looking after the home and family. Many women wore brightly coloured tunic style gowns and most wore head scarves. Brilliantly coloured velvets and elaborately embroidered fabrics were very popular. Men wore more western styled clothing but with long pointed toe shoes. Outside the mall, we had seen one women dressed in a western style with a short skirt and high heels. She stuck out and looked very ‘tarty’ against the demure gowns that the other women were wearing.

Back at the hotel, we went down to the basement to the deserted ‘Russian restaurant’ and ordered a beer. There were only western bottled beers – Amstel, Heineken etc. It was a bit of a shock to find out, after we had drunk one that they cost £4 each and we abandoning any thought of dinner here, we retreated to our room for Cuppa soup, crisps and baklava. From our balcony, we had a magnificent view of the white city lit up by night.

Tuesday August 23rd

I got up early and had a walk/jog along a deserted dual carriageway near our hotel and came across the Opera House and the National History Museum next to each other. There was also a towering flagpole in front of the latter and two soldiers standing to attention in their kiosks. I learnt later that it was the tallest flagpole in the world (I thought that was in the Korean DNZ which I had seen in 2003) with a total height of 436 ft. By the time we got home, a taller one had been built in Dushanbe, Tajikistan at 541ft. The National History Museum had lovely Aqua Blue domes and long porticoes with huge golden winged horses on their roofs.

It was already 20’c by the time I jogged back to the hotel for breakfast which was in the Chinese restaurant within the hotel. We were the only customers. It was a weird concoction of omelette, salad and sliced beef. It took them about 15 mins to produce tiny cups of strong black coffee. We were supposed to meet Anita at 10am to pay the remainder of our ‘re-calculated’ bill for the ‘Tour’. Our driver had already arrived and was waiting outside. She arrived flustered and 20 mins late. “The traffic is horrible out there” she panted. I wondered where the traffic was. I had hardly seen any. We paid over our $600 each in cash. Its not cheap coming to Turkmenistan but it is an experience and I have never met anyone else who has been there.

Reminding her that we still wanted to have a driven tour around the main sights – whatever we could see in say 90 minutes, she talked to our driver called Alec who nodded. Off we went to show Trev what I had found this morning. Then we passed the empty ‘Disneyworld’ type theme park called ‘The World of Fairytales’. Our morning tour of Ashgabat took us around endless impressive, awe inspiring opulent and massive government buildings all in gleaming white marble. Sometimes the police had blocked off roads which frustrated Alec (he would bang the steering wheel and indicate he was not happy) The entire city was amazingly impressive and we had to admit that the architecture of these buildings was gorgeous. Curiously designed buildings reflected their purpose. For example, educational institutions were built in the shape of books, and the serpent is the symbol of hospitals and health establishments. There was a monument to the Akhal Teke horses which are revered by the Turkmen people. Indeed, it is said that these horses were prized by Alexander the Great, Roman Emperors and Genghis Khan because they were incredibly hardy animals highly intelligent, lithe and graceful. Lenin Square with the small statue of Lenin was built in 1927. Turkmenistan is said to have some of the most beautiful modern mosques in the world and our last stop was at a massive one. I have no idea what it was called. I don’t think it was the best but it would do.

Ashgabat is a fabulous city to see. I don’t know if I would want to live there but as a tourist attraction it can only grow in popularity should Turkmenistan start to relax entry rules. Of all the Central Asian capitals, this one left the others standing in the dust. Recommended. You will not be disappointed.

We had a six hour drive to Mary coming up. It was only 230 miles away, but we had a couple of stops to make en route. The first was the archeological site of Anau only 12 km SE of Ashagbat. Apparently, it had the remains of the Bronze Age settlement Anau-Depe (4th - 3rd millennium BC) and the fortress of Anau (3rd century BC - 3rd century AD) where grain was first cultivated. We just took in the remains of the old mosque that had been destroyed in the 1948 earthquake. We also saw the Abiverd ruins – once an ancient city with fertile lands and rich crops, famous for its magnificent market and mosque and a supposedly impregnable fortress. In the 12th century Abiverd surrendered to Mongols. The eldest son of Ghengis Khan, Tulikhan, razed the city to the ground.

It was a hot (44’c temps) and dusty drive along a rough road by the mountains on the Iranian border. Cotton fields were everywhere, being artificially irrigated. We stopped for beers at a shop and then Alec was stopped by the police and given a speeding ticket. Expecting to stay in Mary, the third largest city in Turkmenistan, we ended up at the Hotel Rakhat on the dusty outskirts. It was just a transport junction with a few garages and shops. One sold cold beer. In our run down room was a notice saying “Dear Guests. Don’t leave money and your own things in the rooms. The hotel’s administration doesn’t take any responsibility in the case losing.” In the evening, we ate next door in a small upstairs café separated into private stalls. Unable to read the menu, we just pointed at options. Our Russian speaking waitress bought us a selection of kebabs and bread. I think we bought some novelty value to the place.

On TV in our room, we were amazed to see ‘Naked Candid Camera’. We had come across this programme on Ukrainian TV and now it was in Turkmenistan. It was essentially an excuse for attractive women with large chests to have a reason to lose their tops and get a ‘reaction’ from innocent men. It looked rather staged. I couldn’t see this getting onto British TV.

Already asleep, there was a knock at the door at 11pm. Who could that be? It was someone from ‘Stantours’ bringing us our ‘breakfast’ for the morning. This was a sealed package containing two boiled eggs, cheese, tomato, cucumber and bread. Ashgabat already seemed a long way away but we were back on schedule having caught up on the lost day.

Wednesday August 24th

Our driver Costya and renowned historical guide Yeugenia Golubeva were at the hotel by 6.50am although we had said 7.50am. Most of our breakfast had been binned. Who wants to eat salad at 7am? It was a 27km drive to the ruins of Merv. We passed through Mary, which lies in a large oasis of the Karakum Desert, on the Murghab River delta. It is the centre of a rich cotton-growing area, a railway junction and also a major centre of the natural gas industry. We passed over the famous Karakum Canal – the longest irrigation canal in the world covering 1,375 km.

Merv is a world famous ruin though you have probably not heard of it. Paraphrasing the Lonely Persons Guide - it once stood alongside Damascus, Baghdad and Cairo as one of the great centres of Islam,. It was a major centre of religious centre and a lynchpin on the Silk Road in the 11th and 12th centuries. At its height it was 1,800 hectares in size with a population of 150,000 people. Almost nothing remains of it today but enough to spend a couple of hours there. Before the sons of Genghis Khan laid waste to the great city, it had been a melting pot of religious faiths and ethnic groups. The scattered ruins left today, include some fortifications, brick foundations, mosques and were deemed a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 1999.

Merv suffered a number of attacks over the course of its history, but instead of being rebuilt on top of older ruins, it slowly spread west following the shifting river. Five cities were constructed near each other and the last re-incarnation of Merv is the current city of Mary. Our guide Yeugenia was an expert on this site and she took us on an excellent tour.

The oldest of the five Merv cities is Erk Kala thought to date from the 6th century BC and eventually taken by Alexander the Great. Today it is a big earthen doughnut about 600m across with deep trenches dug by archaeologists. The ramparts are 50m high and give a good view over the whole site. It then formed part of another large fortress called Giaur Kala built in 3rd Century BC. Evidence has been found of a Buddhist stupa and Buddhist statue making Merv the furthest western point that Buddhism spread to. Giaur Kala, occupied for a thousand years, was then swallowed up into the vast walled city of Sultan Kala. In the centre of this was the Mausoleum of Sultan Sanjur, which is now a restored 38m high simple cube with a barrel mounted dome on top and sparse interior decoration.

Personally, I thought the best thing was in the ‘Kyz Kala’ part of Merv. There were two crumbling clay 7th Century ‘koshks’ which looked like petrified stockade walls or a giant mass of vertically placed Italian Savoiradi (sponge) biscuits. These were unique ancient structures and still in use 600 years later. Sticking straight up vertically they stood out like nothing else in the entire complex of ruins. Herds of camels grazed nearby. There is a lot of history at Merv, but two hours is probably enough to get a good feel for the non-expert tourist.

Our driver Costya took us 3 hours north across the desert landscape to Turkmenabat. The second largest city in the country has 200,000 people and lies on the banks of the Amu-Darya River between the Karakum Desert and the fertile plains of Uzbekistan. We skirted around the city but did cross the river into Farab. There were no signs to the border and Costya had to stop and ask a couple of people. We were finally dropped at a packed border, but let through the crowds by an official, then through a second crowd and then a third. They stamped us out and while we were walking the 2 km to the Uzbek border crossing, someone picked us up in a minibus and dropped us at the final check.

What to say about Turkmenistan? I have no idea when it will eventually free up and let in independent tourists and until it does, you are saddled with an ‘organised’ tour. It’s not that expensive but it all mounts up. Ashgabat is worth the price alone. The rest of the country is an endless desert, scuffy towns, cotton fields, dust and police checks.