Nathan couldn't help but feel guilty, leaving J.D. with so much responsibility in looking after Buck. The boy's obvious eagerness to help, combined with a sharp mind and good memory, would enable him to fetch most anything Buck needed. Not to mention it'd give him something besides his own pain to focus on. He just wished he didn't have that nagging in his gut that J.D.'s behavior was more than a lingering effect of Buck's accident.

He looked at Buck sitting near the fire, a blanket covering his lap and his bed pillow cushioning his injured back from the hard wood. Nathan had given up on trying to send the man to bed. Realistically Jackson knew his friend was afraid of lying down and not being able to get up again under his own power. Something that, despite the liniment rub and the bearberry Nathan had given him, was a very legitimate concern. Probably the same reason he couldn't get Buck to even strip down to his underclothes so at least he'd be more comfortable.

"Buck Wilmington might get caught with his pants down, but only when there's a mighty fine and shapely reason for it." Nathan had nearly choked trying to keep a straight face and swallow the retort that desperately wanted to emerge. A quick glance at the wide hazel eyes gazing intently at the two men far above him had quelled Nathan's tongue though.

Looking at the Buck Wilmington that was wrapped in calico patterns in Sarah Larabee's rocker it wasn't too difficult for Jackson to keep his thoughts to himself. Somehow it was becoming easier to see how the image of the same man leaping out of any given lady's window and into a gunfight wearing only his boots, hat, a holster on his shoulder and bright red long underwear, didn't fit with the man he was looking at now.

Times sure had changed.

With a cock of his head in J.D.'s direction, Nathan tousled the five-year-old's thick hair and leaned down to the boy's level. "Well, J.D., it looks like you and Buck are all set for me to go, but I'm gonna come back here tomorrow and check up on Buck, if that's all right with you?"

The wink Nathan shot in Buck's direction didn't go unnoticed, as Buck laughed carefully and looked to the boy to answer. "What do you say, Little Bit? You want Nathan to come back tomorrow?"

As much as J.D. seemed to enjoy and crave the attention Buck gave him, when put on the spot like this, he tended to act more like the just out of knee-pants toddler he truly was. Inching closer to Buck, he cupped a hand around his mouth, clearly wanting to discuss his opinion "in secret".

"Buck?"

"Yes, J.D." Wilmington's voice mimicked J.D.'s and carried almost as far, in part because he couldn't lean into the boy's whisper as much as he normally would.

"I want Uncle Nathan to come back."

Nathan had to stifle his laughter as the boy's "whispers" reverberated off the walls of the cabin. The important discussion and the honor of "uncle" endearing the child even further into his heart.

"I'd like that too, J.D.," Wilmington replied. "Now, why don't you go on and tell Nathan, all right?"

The boy turned to Jackson, his raised arms sending a clear message that he wanted to be picked up. Nathan complied happily and immediately found himself almost literally face to face with a very serious looking child who had something important to tell him. "So, would it be all right if I came back tomorrow, J.D.?" He prompted.

Vigorous nodding and a resounding "yes" were the response and Nathan was rewarded with a little-boy hug around his neck. In such close proximity, the healer thought J.D. felt a touch warm, so he settled the boy back on the floor and pressed his palm to the child's forehead.

"Nathan?" The creak of the rocker combined with the worry evident in the question gave Jackson sufficient warning that Buck was about to get up, but a stern glare, a head-shake and more than likely gravity, kept the injured man seated.

"He's feelin' just a little warm, Buck. Prob'ly nothin' to worry about." Nathan lowered himself to one knee, his hand moving to cup J.D.'s slightly flushed cheek. "You feelin' all right, J.D.?"

J.D. nodded, quickly scooting to the other side of the rocker. Buck gingerly laid his hand across the back of the child's neck, frowning with concern as he too felt the beginnings of fever. Worry shone in Wilmington's dark eyes as he looked up at Nathan.

Jackson reached for J.D., wanting to examine the five-year-old before he assumed the worst. "Come here, son. I just wanna get a look at ya."

Buck urged J.D. forward and Nathan gently pressed his thumbs against the sides of J.D.'s neck, but he didn't feel any swelling. "Your head or your throat hurt you any?"

J.D. shook his head, still resisting as he tried to ease out of the healer's grasp.

"J.D., be still and let Nathan finish looking you over." Buck's voice had just enough of an edge in it to create immediate compliance from the boy. Nathan knew it stemmed from concern, but he saw J.D.'s eyes mist over either from the stern tone or fear of what the mean ole doctor would do to him.

"It's all right, I'm not gonna hurt ya, J.D. I promise." Nathan inched closer and smoothed the shaggy bangs from the child's face. "Can you open your mouth for me?"

J.D. sniffed before opening his mouth just enough that Jackson could see the bottom row of baby teeth. Nathan grinned, trying to reassure both the boy and his anxious father. "C'mon, J.D., wider, so I can tell what ya had for breakfast."

Curiosity began to replace the fear in J.D.'s moist eyes as he contemplated Nathan's request and stretched his mouth to the limit. Nathan turned him toward the light until he could see the back of the child's throat. A little too red, maybe, he couldn't be sure. "I see, bacon and eggs, and what's that, oh, a biscuit with honey."

J.D.'s eyes widened. "You saw my breakfast?"

"Yep." Nathan laughed.

"Surprised he saw anything, Little Bit, since you didn't eat hardly enough to fill a bird this mornin'." Buck's concerned gaze met Nathan's as his voice trailed. "I'd thought he was just too excited to eat. . ."

Not wanting Wilmington to beat himself up any further, Nathan ignored Buck's comment and turned his attention to J.D. and the question he'd already asked Vin. "J.D., you ain't played with Eloise Potter at the mercantile this week, have you?"

"Ewwww!!! No!" The horrified face was even more telling than the boy's verbal response. So evident was J.D.'s repulsion to that poor undoubtedly unsuspecting girl, that both Nathan and Buck exhaled twin huffs of laughter. And twin sighs of relief.

"Well, I was gonna stop by and see her and her ma, wish 'em a happy Christmas. You sure you don't want me to wish 'em the same from you and Vin?" Nathan continued.

"No! Me and Vin stay away from her." J.D. wiped at his mouth, clearly disgusted with the entire topic. "Can we stop now?"

"Ok, ok. Let me finish looking you over, then you can take a rest." Nathan chuckled as he placed his fingers lightly against the boy's throat. "Can you swallow for me, son?"

J.D. licked his lips, then grimaced as he gulped hard.

"Hurts a little, don't it?"

J.D. dropped his gaze and muttered quietly. "A little."

Nathan patted his back gently. "That's ok, I got something that'll take care o' that."

Nathan shook his head at the look of horror skewing those adorable features at the mere mention of one of his 'cures.' "It ain't that bad, J.D., and it'll make you feel a lot better, I promise."

"Well? Is he ok?" Buck apparently couldn't hold back any longer.

"I don't think there's any reason to worry. He's obviously not been around the Potter girl, it's prob'ly just a touch of a cold. I'll go ahead and give him some tea for the fever and leave some peppermints for his throat. He won't mind those at all."

"Just get as much water and tea as you can down him, keep him warm so he can sweat off that fever. This herb mix I'm fixin'll make him sleep, and you, Buck Wilmington, better get some rest too. I expect you to set a good example for the boy and take your own medicine." Nathan winked at J.D. who tried to mimic the gesture but ended up blinking instead.

Buck snorted at their obvious conspiracy, but didn't protest.

"There's stew simmering on the stove that'll be ready in about an hour, so there won't be nothing for you boys to do except eat and go to bed."

"Why Nathan, if I'd a known how handy you were around the house I'd a asked you to marry me a long time ago." Buck laughed, then gasped as his injured back once again reined him in.

"You couldn't afford me." Nathan deadpanned. "Now I mean it, you gotta stay off your feet or somebody'll be carryin' you to the outhouse for the next month."

"Yes, sir. We'll be good, won't we, J.D.?" Buck stiffly reached out and cupped the back of the child's neck. J.D. nodded tentatively as Nathan turned to finish mixing the willow bark and chamomile with hot water from the kettle.

The healer wished he could stay longer. Wished he could do more to help around the cabin and more importantly to make sure J.D.'s slight temperature didn't turn into a substantial fever. But he had responsibilities in town, he had to check in on the Potter girl then make sure no one else in Four Corners had been struck ill as well. It still didn't stop him from worrying.

At J.D.'s solemn nod, Nathan turned his attention once more to Buck. "I'm gonna finish fixin' this up 'n give it to J.D. and then head on back to town. Gotta check in on Eloise, make sure everything's ok, but I'll be back here come morning. You can count on that."

+++++++

J.D. started to ask Uncle Nathan why he would want to visit with smelly Eloise Potter, but knowing his Buck would disapprove, he held his tongue. It's just that she prissed around like she thought she was so pretty, she didn't like frogs or playing in the dirt and she always smelled like the old ladies at church, only more stinky. And Eloise mercilessly pestered him until he wanted to hit her, but he'd been taught he should never hit a girl. He wasn't sure why since she was the one always hugging on him, trying to brush his hair or trying to kiss him. Yuck!

It wasn't fair that Vin could outrun her. Even though Eloise was a year older than J.D.'s cousin, Vin could run faster. Didn't matter much for Vin any more though. She'd fussed with Vin's hair some, wanting to braid it and all, back when he and Vin first started coming to town, but Vin managed to scare her or something and she left him alone. Vin never said much, but when he did, the other kids always listened. He told her to leave J.D. alone, too and she did for a time. But not no more. Eloise told J.D. she knew that Mr. Larabee wouldn't let Vin hit no girls, so she wasn't scared of Vin either. And she told J.D. that since he was earsissible he'd better just get used to being coddled.

But J.D. didn't want no one coddling him but Buck. And maybe Chris. He even asked his papa Buck that one time if he was earsissible. "Why, you sure are," is what he'd said and Buck had laughed then and asked him why he wanted to know. But J.D. was so upset with the answer he went and lied down in his bed and cried. He didn't want to be earsissible if it meant girls like Eloise wouldn't leave him be.

"Here, drink this, J.D." Nathan pushed the steaming cup toward him and he couldn't help taking a step backward. The smell alone made him feel sicker than his aching head and scratchy throat did. He didn't want to add throwing up to his misery. J.D. clamped his mouth tight, hoping Nathan would give up and leave him alone.

He turned pleading eyes toward Buck, silently begging for a reprieve. J.D. had tasted Uncle Nathan's medicine enough times to know he wanted no part of it.

"Come on up here, son." Buck patted his knee and motioned for him.

Uh-oh, there was no hope now.

Buck might give in on lots of things, but taking medicine wasn't one of them. J.D. reluctantly climbed up into his new father's lap, leaning into the crook of the man's arm and shutting his eyes tight as he was forced to drink that awful stuff. Bitterness coated his mouth and seemed to set his already hurting throat on fire. He fought the temptation to knock aside the cup and run; instead he obeyed the man he loved so much and swallowed as much as he could. Tears filled his eyes as he gagged, then started to cough uncontrollably. Finally the cup was taken away, but the lingering taste on his tongue made him want to retch.

He suddenly felt very hot and very miserable and very mad. J.D. shut out the voices of the adults trying to console him, instead burying his head in the softness of Buck's shirt and silently setting his tears free.

"Here, J.D., I think you're gonna like this a lot better." Nathan ruffled his hair, but J.D. refused to budge. He didn't want anymore medicine, no matter what kind.

Buck patted him gently on the back. "Come on, look what Nathan's got."

J.D. peered up at Nathan with one eye, ready to resist if this was a trick. Instead the healer held out a fat stick of peppermint, the man's soft voice and sincere expression saying he really was sorry for making him drink that yucky stuff. J.D. snatched the candy, sticking one end in his mouth before Nathan had a chance to change his mind. Suddenly remembering his manners J.D. mumbled a quiet "thank you" as he pressed deeper into the safety of Buck's arms.

"Sorry about the shirt there, Buck." Nathan laughed. J.D. wasn't sure what he meant, but he figured it had something to do with him.

"Aw, that's ok. It's worth it, right, kiddo?" Buck rubbed his hand along J.D.'s back, soothing his wounded pride just as the peppermint juice soothed the burn in his throat. "Don't worry 'bout us, Nathan. Me and J.D.'ll take care of each other, won't we Little Bit?"

J.D. nodded, but he was so tired and dizzy all of a sudden, he really wasn't sure he'd be able to look after Buck at all. Right now all he wanted was to let Buck take care of him. He sure wished mama was here. Mama'd be able to look after them both.

Part 6

"J.D., you wanna play some checkers?" Buck tried to coax the little boy out of his sullenness with something he almost never refused. A chance to have Buck's full attention while doing something he really enjoyed.

"Nuh, uh." J.D. answered, burrowing deeper into Buck's hold.

"Want me to read you that story you like? The one with the cowboy and the wild horse?"

J.D. shook his head, his sticky fingers clutching Buck's shirt. "Maybe later, ok? I'm sleepy now."

Initially Buck had felt heartened by Nathan's diagnosis of J.D.'s illness. Knowing full well that if the knowledgeable healer had truly believed the boy's condition was serious, he'd have piled them both into a wagon, insisting they head back to town with him.

Now, Buck was on his own, feeling a little lost and a little anxious. He had always trusted Nathan implicitly and logic told him J.D.'s growing listlessness was simply a result of the medicine. Yet an irrational and overwhelming sense of doubt was hanging over him now. Maybe he should have insisted J.D. go back with Nathan to Four Corners.

Wilmington squeezed his eyes shut tight against the barrage of thoughts invading his mind. He had never realized that becoming a parent suddenly meant you'd end up second-guessing yourself and everyone around you. Even good men like Nathan Jackson.

Buck knew it wouldn't do him, J.D. or his back a lick of good to keep fretting about something he couldn't change. He'd have to follow Nathan's advice, let the tea take care of the child's physical ailments and work a little of the Wilmington magic with J.D.'s emotional ones.

"Ok, son, just rest for a spell before supper. Give that medicine time to work." Buck smoothed the child's hair as he rocked slowly, trying to stretch out the kink already forming along his spine. The added weight in his arms tore at his abused muscles, but Wilmington wasn't willing to take away J.D.'s comfort for his own. Besides, it wouldn't hurt to try and catch a little shut-eye himself.

Except the remedies Nathan had given him earlier hadn't taken away enough of the pain to allow him any real rest. What he needed was a firm bed and a firmer woman to . . . Buck laughed to himself. That wasn't really true anymore. Not that he still didn't appreciate the company of the opposite sex, but that priority had been replaced by a different one altogether.

There was a time when women had been his entire life. He'd never met one that he hadn't found attractive in one way or another, no matter the shape of her face or the size of her hips. He'd always thought that God had given him the extraordinary gift of seeing only the best in them to make up for his lack of a desire to actually settle down with just one in particular. Buck thought he was safe from commitment, too strong to give in and get hitched. Who would have ever thought the love of his life would be the little dark-haired, doe-eyed, cute-as-a-button boy drifting off in his arms?

Now, instead of fantasizing about a set of buxom twins, he was daydreaming about his boy. What J.D. would look like in five or 10 years; what his dreams would be and the never-ending worry about keeping him happy and safe.

Fate sure had a funny way of turning things around on a man.

+++++++

"You really don't think J.D.'s gonna be mad about all the fun stuff we're doing without him?" Vin asked as he bounced on the edge of the large bed. It'd been a long ride with few rest stops due to the boy's growing excitement and Chris wished he had that kind of boundless energy. He was surprised Vin had even agreed to check into the hotel first so they could freshen up before heading out to see the town.

"No need to worry. I'm sure once J.D. gets a look at what all we'll be bringing home, he'll be a happy boy." Chris stifled the chuckle that wanted to work its way out of his throat. He had hoped that this trip to Eagle Bend would help bring out more of the true child in Vin Tanner, but never would he have thought that the boy could ever become as talkative as his always enthusiastic younger cousin.

The seven-year-old's excited commentary - from the moment they'd arrived in Eagle Bend - could have even been considered downright irritating, if not for the pleasure of seeing pure happiness written all over the orphan's face. And knowing that he was largely responsible for it warmed Chris's soul.

If not for the absence of Buck and J.D., Larabee would have considered their trip perfect.

Chris smiled to himself at the awe-struck expression Vin had developed upon their arrival. Just as Buck had promised the boys, using all his elaborate story-telling ways, the festive storefronts were resplendent with more color and brilliance than Vin had undoubtedly seen in his young life. Each entrance adorned with a welcoming wreath and every window with at least one candle, creating an atmosphere of warmth and hospitality.

Chris finished washing the dust from his face and watched Vin peering past the curtains at the town below. Pain and newfound joy battled inside his chest as a faint remembrance of his past life surfaced. He looked away before it overwhelmed him, rubbing the thick towel over his features until he'd erased the memory from his thoughts.

He'd pushed Christmas aside for the past few years, the spirit of the holiday lost forever in a pile of ashes and misery. Now with a new, young family again, he remembered what it was like to look at it through innocent eyes.

With a cleansing sigh he grabbed his hat and motioned for Vin to follow. "You ready to see the sights, Cowboy?"

Vin leapt in front of him, his eagerness apparent as he pulled the door open wide. Chris tousled the blond curls before socking Vin's hat down over the boy's eyes, relishing the excited squeal of mock protest as they set out on their adventure.

+++++++

Buck had managed to doze on and off from sheer boredom. His back had long since become numb, a mixed blessing because he knew when the pain reawakened it most likely would be worse. The fire flickered low and the room still felt warm enough, but he knew it wouldn't last much longer. He'd have to put on more wood and since that meant waking J.D. and actually moving, he chose to stay where he was.

J.D.'s body jerked suddenly and Buck tightened his hold. The boy whimpered deep in his throat as his legs stiffened and he tossed his head in an effort to escape whatever held him captive in his dreams. Buck could see the familiar furrowed brow and the distressed expression and knew J.D. was heading into another nightmare.

"Hey, Little Bit." Buck shook him gently, wiping the hair from the child's face as he tried to bring him back to awareness. Fear stabbed at his heart as he felt clammy skin beneath his palm and J.D.'s sweat-soaked hairline as he sat him upright. "Come on, wake up, son."

J.D.'s eyelids fluttered, then opened wide to reveal his tears and panic. He immediately wrapped his arms around Buck's neck, holding onto him like he'd just been rescued from the jaws of a bear.

"It's ok, J.D., it's ok."

The agony of strained muscles reached fiery levels, but Buck didn't care. He rubbed the child's back, whispering soothingly in his ear. "I'm right here, son. Buck's got you, you're all right."

The near-silent crying died down and J.D. pulled back to look at Buck. The boy's bottom lip still quivered slightly, but his eyes had grown calm.

"Did you have a bad dream, kiddo?"

J.D. nodded and Buck cupped the child's flushed face in his hand, growing even more alarmed at the noticeable heat radiating from his skin. "You still don't feel good?"

J.D. nodded again, the remaining tears finding their way down his reddened cheeks as his head bobbed. Buck wiped them away with his thumb then pulled the small boy against his chest again. "We'll just have to take care of that, won't we? Let's get some of that supper Nathan made and then you can take a nap in my bed, ok?"

"'Kay." J.D. answered softly.

Buck squeezed the tiny shoulders, keeping his own tears in check. The pain of his injuries had nothing on the suffering in his soul when his boy hurt. He released J.D. from his embrace and let him slide to the floor. Buck bit his lip as he eased out of the rocker, unable to do anything but drop to his knees or risk passing out from the agony.

J.D. watched with dismay as Buck gripped the chair and slowly tried to pull himself to his feet. Buck's heart leapt as J.D. held out his hand to help him stand. Touched that the boy thought he could help, yet afraid to accept his offer from fear that he might stumble and fall on the child. "I'll be fine, Little Bit. Go ahead and set the table for me, all right?"

J.D. hesitated for a moment, then moved toward the kitchen and out of the way like Buck had wanted. The big man held onto the chair with a bloodless grip and eased his way upright. Well, almost. He remained hunched over, but at least he was on his feet. He stumbled his way to the stove using the walls and various pieces of furniture for support and found J.D. waiting patiently, a bowl clutched in each hand.

There was no way Buck would be able to lift and carry the pot of stew, so he filled the bowls and let J.D. carry them to the table. He also let the boy fill their glasses, laughing to himself at the splashes of water seemingly hitting everywhere but in the cups. The kid was almost as handy in the kitchen as Chris.

"Go ahead and eat, son." Buck figured his own supper would be ice cold by the time he sat down and he didn't want J.D. waiting on him. Besides, he was still trying to figure out a way to convince J.D. to drink the concoction Nathan had mixed up for him. He sure didn't have the strength to force it down the boy, not that he wanted to anyway.

Buck poured in just enough hot water to dissolve the herbs and gingerly retrieved the jar of honey above the cook stove. As much as J.D. loved sweets, that might just be the trick to improve the taste enough for the little guy. He dipped in a large spoon and let it drip into J.D.'s tea, then he carried it slowly to the table.

"J.D." Buck knew he had to use the right approach or he'd have to resort to outright begging. "I know this stuff didn't taste too good before, but I fixed it up with enough honey that you won't taste the medicine at all. Now be a good boy and drink this for me, please?"

J.D. frowned, but took the cup, sniffing the contents carefully. He took a sip, swallowing hard as the tea went down. Buck smiled brightly. "That's it." He didn't know what Nathan's problem was, all he had to do was sweeten it up a little and the boy would drink it like it was milk. "Couple more swallows and you'll be done."

"Can I have some bread too?" J.D. asked, just as Buck started to sit.

Thankful that J.D. had spoken up before Buck had gotten all the way into his chair, Buck hobbled across the room toward the pantry. The stiffness in his back was starting to abate, but the unexpected stabs of blinding pain that still claimed him were a vivid reminder that he was far from being fit.

It was a damn good thing Nathan was due back in the morning.

+++++++

J.D. didn't want to tell Buck his tea didn't taste any better than the stuff Nathan had made him drink. It was too thick to swallow good and his throat hurt something terrible. Even the smell of the stew made him gag and he knew he'd throw up if he drank that awful tea.

As his new father headed back to the pantry, J.D. poured the mixture into his stew, then quickly switched bowls with Buck. He just couldn't drink no more. And besides, if it was supposed to be good for him, then it'd be good for Buck too.

He moved his spoon around the chunks of meat and vegetables in his bowl then brought a tiny bit of soup to his lips to taste. It was all right, but it hurt going down too. He smiled up at Buck as he approached the table with the bread. J.D. pretended he'd just taken a huge mouthful and Buck glanced at his cup.

"That's my big boy!" Buck squeezed his neck and patted him on the back before easing around to sit. "I'm real proud of ya, J.D."

J.D. stared at his meal, the words of praise making him feel more than a little guilty and downright deceitful. Of course he knew if he confessed it would mean Buck would make more tea and this time he would really have to drink it. Besides, J.D. didn't want to do anything that might disappoint Buck. He just couldn't. Not when he sounded so happy with him.

J.D. took another bite, chewing slowly and dreading trying to swallow. Buck took a mouthful of stew, his face grimacing slightly as the taste hit his tongue.

"Glad Nathan's a good doctor 'cause he sure couldn't make no livin' as a cook." Buck winked then took a long drink of water.

J.D. saw his chance. "I don't like it, Buck."

"Aw, it ain't too bad, mind you, just kinda. . . different." Buck spooned in another bite, his face contorting. "You want me to fix you something else? I don't want you goin' to bed hungry."

Guilt and the unpleasant memory of lying awake nights at the orphanage because his stomach wouldn't stop growling made Buck's words sink in. Buck must really love him a lot to not want him to go to bed without supper.

"It ain't too bad." J.D. mimicked as he brought another spoonful to his lips and tried not to cry as it passed down his tender throat. He'd rather eat his stew, no matter how much it hurt, than disappoint his new papa.

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