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Objective:
Find a job where the people I work with aren't all against me.
Also, I'd like to find a job where the boss doesn't pick on me. I'm
thinking of someday being my own boss. I want to make a lot of
money. I need some creative space so I can make things. I want to
have the extra time to enjoy the things I'm interested in, like
partying and seeing some bands. I'm a people watcher, and I'm
thinking about learning to play guitar. I just read a book that
describes how men can have multiple orgasms without ejaculation.
I'd like some time to practice this.
Employment:
a) Astro Gas , intersection of Greely and Portland Blvd.
Employed: December 2 to December 22 1995
Responsibilities:
I pumped gas, checked oil, and sold cigarettes to
motorists and the high school students that waited for the bus there.
Reason for leaving:
The boss and everyone had it out for me. The bastards
I worked with told my boss that I was stealing money from the till, then
they framed me for it. The boss was picking on me for being late a few times,
and got pretty uptight about me showing up with booze on my breath. (It was
a good damned thing that I'd drank that whiskey right before I got to work;
otherwise he would have smelled the weed on my breath too. Hey, I wasn't
kidding when I said I liked to party, man.) He got mad because I sold
cigarettes to minors. I think that law is bull shit. He doesn't know what
he's talking about. He's an idiot. He wouldn't let me have time off for
Christmas so I can visit my brother. No one treats me that way. He'll get
what's coming to him. I'm telling you; that bastard is going to pay.
b) Parr Lumber, Martin Luther King Blvd, Portland.
Employed: November 6 to November 22 1995.
Responsibilities:
Take the broken pallets and make them into good, usable
ones. Got the door for the contractors. Swept the parking lot and yard
to keep it free of dangerous debris, like wet cardboard, sawdust, and
wood chips.
Reason for leaving:
The boss would ride me about smoking and talking to
people walking by. I was doing Parr a customer service deed by establishing
good relations with the public. If you call them they will tell you I made
a lewd comment to a customer. That ho is fulla shit. She flirted with me.
She started it. My boss was a dork from Vancouver. His daughter was foxy
and he would get uptight when I'd talk to her. He was infringing upon my
constitutional rights be telling me I couldn't smoke in the warehouse
because of "fire codes." That's a bunch of crap. Everyone knows that a
cigarette couldn't burn down a whole warehouse. It was just too big. He
was an insensitive ass for not letting me have Thanksgiving off to visit my
brother. He also claims that he caught me jerking off in the warehouse.
I wasn't jerking off. I got a sliver down there and was trying to get it out.
c) Burger King, Barbur Blvd, Portland.
Employed: October 20 to November 1 1995
Responsibilities:
Cook and janitorial work. I took the 40 pound frozen
hamburger patty box out of the freezer, broke them apart with a screwdriver
and a 5 pound ball peen hammer and put them in the cooker conveyor belt.
Took the cooked patties and buns (there are two sizes, whopper and regular,)
and put them into the appropriate sized bun. Put the assembled burgers into
the steamer. It was also my responsibility to clean the tiles on the floor
underneath the tables where the cleaners couldn't reach with their machines.
Reason for leaving:
I came into work the day after Halloween and a couple
pigs were there and they told me I wasn't allowed to go in. The manager came
out and gave me my last check and told me I was fired. I asked him what it
was all about and he said I came in on Halloween and started screaming and
throwing things around and shoved a lady up against the salad bar. That's a
lie. I was drinking with Ciccione in N.E. Portland. I was riding my
brother's Huffy (because my car was impounded for a bull shit DWI charge
I was framed on.) I don't think there is any way I could have got from N.E.
Portland to S.W. Portland on that bike in one night, especially since I was
so drunk. He hated me anyhow. I got more dignity than that. So I punched
the son of a bitch and the pigs arrested me. That bald headed do gooder punk
deserved it. He had to have been lying. He said I was on a blackout. That's
a lie. I don't remember ever having a blackout. He got mad at me for
spitting on the paddies with my buddy Rob. He said that that was
disgusting and that he was really disappointed. What a geek.
He didn't even see the humor in a harmless game of "burger roulette."
d) Concannon Lumber, N.E. Sandy Blvd. Portland
Employed: ,January 4 to February 21 1995
Responsibilities:
Stand next to a conveyor belt and pull just cut lumber
off the conveyor and stack it on a cart and then strap it with banding so
the forklift drivers could put the units on a truck. Bundle pieces of pine
with a piece of equipment called a "sub-bundler," although it took me
maybe two weeks to figure out what it was REALLY called because my unofficial
"sponsor" was this freaking monkey named "Big Ass" (a name I gave to him
because that's the only thing I understood when he talked; the rest of his
speech being drowned out by the spit bubbles.) I really thought the thing we
did when the two of us were bundling the pine boards was called
"sumbumblinb." Boy do I feel like a fool. I was his "buddy." I couldn't
shake him. He blew his nose on his shirt.
Reason for leaving:
It was winter, cold as hell, I was living in this house
that the bedroom window was broken out of, and my bathroom was frozen. I'm
telling you, its hard for a white man to get a good job when all those
minorities are out there taking them all up. Bastards. Anyway, the warehouse
had its doors open so the forklift drivers could drive in and out so the
wind blew straight through. It was probably a -30 degree wind chill factor.
My boss had the extra forklift backed up to us so its exhaust would blow on
us. Like it was supposed to keep us warm. I got frostbite because I was
wearing steel toed boots, so I quit. I realized that my quitting might have
put them out of business, and for that I feel bad. But you know, a man has
just got to have his dignity. I'm a great white warrior, and I deserve
better. My PO can kiss my ass for getting me this job.
e) Badgely, N. Portland
Employed: December 2 to December 20 1994
Responsibilities:
Cut aluminum slabs into 1 inch pieces, drilled holes into
them, and cut off the burrs. Helped assemble golf bags. Piled pallets into
neat stacks.
Reason for leaving:
My boss, Alan, was a tyrant. He said that I was being
"careless with safety" because I was caught jumping off the third tier of
the racks in the warehouse into foam rolls I piled on the floor. He also
got mad because I was skateboarding in the warehouse on this ramp I had
made out of spare wood. It wasn't a big ramp, and they weren't doing
anything with the wood. As far as the jumping off the racks, it wasn't
dangerous. The foam broke my fall. Besides, it made everyone laugh. Alan
was a geek. He drove a Volkswagen. People who drive VW's are stupid.
He got pissed one time when he found me and Jay and Bret getting high in
the warehouse. I made a cool fort in the racks on the second tier that
three of us could fit into, even though it was really only made for two.
See, I made it for this broad that was working in the other side of the
plant. Never panned out, though. I told her about it and she left and never
came back. Huh. Anyhow, Me and Jay and Bret climbed up there and we were
smoking the last of my eighth (from this cool pipe I made out of a can
complete with a carb) when all of a sudden half my fort was picked up and
taken away by the warehouse forklift driver! I was trippin! Jay was
leaning on it and fell and landed on his head. I was so stoned that I just
started laughing. Man, that was funny.
Education:
Astoria High School
I chose to leave school because I didn't like the way I was treated. I got
in trouble for skipping school and drinking. People made fun of me because
I played Dungeons and Dragons. That's a thinking man's game. They were
stupid and didn't know what was going on. These chicks got me in trouble
with the cops because they saw me running around with no clothes on. Well,
it wasn't me, dammit. I went to a one week training course for selling
Chopco Knives. Learned how to sell worthless crappy knives to suckers. They
even had scissors for cutting pennies in half. Who needs that crap? I
learned lots and met a hot chick. I stared at her all week. She refused to
have a drink with me. I even offered to take her to the Ship in Multnomah,
and she said I was a scumbag. She must have been a lesbian. That's cool, I
was just playin. I didn't like her anyway. I just wanted her to feel special.
Skills:
I am very handy with a hammer, but I think my calling is in sales or
customer relations. I'm a people person. I spent a week with my step dad in
Arizona and he taught me how to weld. I've become very interested lately
in pyrotechnics. Maybe a job starting fires would be cool. Hey, I'm flexible.
I just need a goddammed job. If I don't get a job soon, I'll be forced to
take up that offer that recruiter from the ARMY gave me.
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