These are . . . INSANE OBSERVATIONS!
# 1.) "Cute girl" does not necessarily equal "good dating prospect."
# 2.) Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to use any words learned in your high school or college English class once you graduate. They will be greeted with blank stares.
# C.) There is no "A" in "Teem."
# IV.) What do you call a film that is a remake of a remake? A re-re-make? Sounds like a retarded movie. Actually, it probably is.
# E.) An active volcano is not a good place to leave your glasses.
# 6.) Antidisestablishmentarianism is, like, a long word, man.
# VII.) Sunday, November 22, 1963, 12:23 p.m. Jack Ruby shoots Lee Harvey Oswald live on national television. Television has been linked to and blamed for violence ever since.
# H.) Nice pants.
# Nine.) Catholic dogma states that homosexuality is a sin and also dictates that priests take a vow of chastity. Apparently they're also trying to state "Do as I say, not as I do."
#X.) Only two percent of Black Americans vote, and they complain that they're not represented in politics.
#11.) Geeks have more friends than popular kids, because geeks band together, whereas popular kids hate each other.
#Twelve.) When I see a customer check out at the video store with a two pornos, a copy each of XXX, The Banger Sisters and Igby Goes Down, I know that this person is in for a bit of a disappointment. The problem with porno names like Glad-He-Ate-Her and Forrest Hump are that people make assumtions.
#12.5.) On that note, The Banger Sisters was not what I thought it was going to be.
#7+6.) Don't be superstitious.