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News for November 6, 2002.

This site is born. This also happens to be my brother's birthday, so I'll remember next year.

Rant about Christmas Shopping should be underway soon. George Carlin rant is tentative. Don't look for the pro-reparations rant anytime soon, although you may see one against it.

I'm really thirsty.

News for November 7, 2002.

Second day of the existence of my site, and I still don't have a fan club. What gives?

Know of something interesting happening latley? Write and tell! If it isn't filthy, we'll probably post it!

News for November 10, 2002.

Hey folks. Send your fan mail, hate mail, and any other kind of mail to mikhael@comcast.net Your opinions matter here at I/O. My mouse keeps selecting text and deleting it without my command, so I'd better sign off. Laters.

News for November 13, 2002

Strong Bad has just answered his fiftieth e-mail. I suggest you go see it immediatley. The Big 5-0.

In other news, diaper-head Osama Bin-Fuckface may still be alive. We will work quickly to rectify this. Cheerio.

News for November 14, 2002

Star Wars Episode II: Lack of the Clones has hit the stores. I bought the DVD and it had eight deleted scenes. The commentary that came with these scenes is incredible, and that is not a compliment.

At this point some backstory is in order, before we continue. In the 70's George Lucas wrote a story called STAR WARS which basically embodied all of the films in one, but it was far too long, so he decided to split it into six films. (George says the rumor about nine films was never true, but then again, he "said" a lot of things...) He also decided to make films 4, 5 and 6 first because that's where all the action is, and it can be a stand-alone story. George said that the first three episodes were much more "political" and "involved," with more emphasis on political intrigue and corruption, etc.

So, now here we are in 2002. Episodes 1 and 2 have been written, made and released, and there's not one shred of political intrigue and very, very little backstory. Why? In the commentary, George introduces the political scenes and scenes which establish Anakin's and Padme's relationship by saying that it was "too much backstory" and that it was "very political and dragged on and on." George is intentionally cutting out the scenes which are the reason for which these movies were made. Why? Instead of telling the backstory that films 1-3 were meant to tell, he has introduced a dozen new characters and made the story about them. Jar Jar Binks? Count Dooku? Who the fuck are these guys? Yeah, they look cool, and yeah the special effects are great, blah, blah, blah. That's not what these films were supposed to be about! There were supposed to be about how Emporer Palpatine came to power and turned Anakin to the Dark Side. That's it. Episode One should have told the story about how the Emporer came to power in the republic. Instead, he's an aside. He's barely even a character in the film. You see him once and he's a senator. The next time you see him, he's the chancellor. Whoop-dee-doo. I'm impressed. There's that Phantom Menace for you, it's not even there. And the Jedi! Don't even get me started about how the most powerful Jedi Masters in the universe somehow don't notice the return of the Sith. "Hard to see, the Dark Side is."

Bullshit, this is.

Episode 2 should have told the story of the Clone Wars and how Palpatine took total control of the republic and crowned himself Emporer. Then, they could easily move onto Episode 3 where Anakin turns to the Dark Side, joining with Palpatine. Instead, George is basically going to have to squeeze everything I just said into Episode 3, because he's wasted the first two films with special effects. Here are a few examples of hopelessly pointless scenes: The Podrace (Episode 1), The ten-minute chase throught Coruscant (Episode 2), the Gungan/Droid Battle (Episode 1), the Trade Federation scenes in general (Episode 1), the list goes on and on. These things could have been easily cut out to leave room for the "pointless backstory." Actually, you can easily leave out Episode 1 entirely!

Now for the discrepancies:

In Episode 4, Obi-Wan tells Luke that when he met Anakin, he was the greatest starpilot in the galaxy. In Episode One, he's a nine-year-old slave boy.

Okay.

How about Obi-Wan telling Luke that he was trained by Yoda (this is mentioned in the beginning of Empire) however in Episode One, he is not trained by Yoda, he is trained by Qui-Gon Jinn, one of those new characters that has almost no purpose.

In Episode 1, Anakin is played by a whiny, bratty kid. In Episode 2, he's played by a whiny, bratty teenager. George is big on character development. Why just look at Darth Maul. He was the main villain in Phantom Menace and he must have said a total of four lines through out the entire movie. He had about eight minutes of screentime to Jar Jar's hour-and-a-half. FUN!

I can't begin to tell you how disappointed I am in the way this story is being handled. George told one story twenty five years ago, and now he's changing it in order to show off his toys. That's all these films are aout now is his goddamn special effects. Write and tell me how you feel about the sorry state of Star Wars.

News for November 22, 2002

Hey-o. New additions to the site! First, our guestbook! Sign it and tell us what you think! It's on the main page and it's pretty hard to miss! Second: our first poll! Tell us your opinion! Third: The Page of Sage on the guest entries page. This will be an open advice column. Send us your questions and we'll post our answers there!

As for the other items on that page, they will be along shortly. Page of Pain will feature a comic strip of the same name by our contributor, H. Page of Rage will be guest rants!

If you would like to do a guest rant for this site, write to mikhael@comcast.net (link at bottom), and I will send you our list of guest submision guidelines.

News for November 25, 2002

A sad note for today. As of 11-24-02, Blumpy.org is officially shut down. The site's administrator and writer/director of it's contents, Jakob, felt that it wasn't going anywhere without regular updates. I urge all of you faithful readers to write to Jakob and let him know his fans appreciate his work and that of all of Blumpy's actors, actresses and contributors.

He's been making for movies eight years.

Regardless of that shitty joke, please write and tell them to keep up the good work. The tentative date of the site's ressurection is February, but who knows if it could be pushed back, or worse.

Sally forth, Jakob! Ghost Hunt wasn't that bad!

In other news, I am having some minor surgery done on Wednesday, so the site may lie dormant for a few days, but don't fret, we're not going anywhere. : ) We'll be back up and running by next week. Until then, Happy Thanksgiving from the I/O Family.

News for December 11, 2002.

He's baaaaaack ...

Well, folks, Insane Observations is back on the air with several new items! First up is The Quote of the Day / Joke of the Day Archives. All quotes and jokes posted on the main page will be moved here when new ones come along with more "flava" in case you miss any, they'll be there!

Next Item: NEW RANT! "What Fills Me With Hate?" by M, with contributions by Genius Gangsta and Transcrologist.

In other news, thank you to all who have expressed concern for my well being and I am happy to inform you that I am back on my feet and ready to put them up whoever's ass needs it! The operation went as smooth as silk and ... well, okay it actually didn't. The doctor had to anesthetise me six times total because the anesthetic wouldn't take effect, but FUCK IT - I'M A MAN!!! I can take that shit! Just cut it and bandage it motherfucker! I need to get home and eat RAW RED FUCKING MEAT and wash it down with A POT OF BLACK COFFEE!

Sorry, folks. Went a little Denis Leary there, God bless him.

Hope everyone has had a great Thanksgiving. I realize that this is about two weeks late, but fuck you I've been out of commission. You get infected ingrown toenails removed with little anesthetic and then have acid put on the matrixes and let them drain for a week and a half, fuckstick!

Sorry, did it again. Anyway, this update is running long, so I bit you a fondue.

News for December 12, 2002.

A sort of postscript to yesterday's upsdates - just one more! I/O Infliction! Because if there's one group of poeple that begs to be mocked, its people who hurt themseves for pleasure! Enjoy!

News for December 17, 2002.

Idiotic News Item of the Day:

A woman was detained by Wal-Mart security after dropping off some photos to be developed. Apparently several shots contain topless shots of her daughter in a pool.

Her daughter is three years old.

These fucking people detained a woman for taking pictures of her child, which were not indecent, and have the audacity to force her to come to the manager's office and question her? They had no right to embarrass this woman and especially no right to detain her, as they are not law enforcement. The pictures were not even pornographic or suspect at all. The County Attourney would not press charges! That's how ridiculous this is! Click on the link at the top to see the full story. I still cannot fucking believe this.

News for January 17, 2003.

Hey, all. I know you've all been waiting patiently for updates, and so you shall have them. Coming soon are rants on Hentai, Signage, Regret and Live-Action Role Playing. Also on the way is some I/O artwork, which will be put on the main page in place of Coach McGuirk. I'll try to have a set schedule of changing, like a new picture every two weeks, but I can't guarantee it, (as you may have noticed with the quotes and jokes, I haven't updated much in a while.) Some time in the near future, (read: sometime this year...possibly) there will be the emergence of the reason for the creation of this site. I/O - the comic strip.

Yes, that's what the site was intended for, but we haven't had time enough to compile strips and get them on here, however they will be making an appearance some time soon.

Alright everyone, that's all for today. Be on the lookout for the new things. I have to go lay down, as I think I'm getting sick. Ciao.

News for February 12, 2003.

Well, I read in the paper that the bayonet is back: NEW AND IMPROVED! This sumbitch looks like a combat knife sticking out of the end of the gun. I didn't read the whole article, but I thought it was pretty damn cool. I apologize for not posting here more often, but my intake of news is whatever catches my eye when I put newspapers on the floor for my dog.

In other news, our readership continues to expand. Now my uncle read the site, too. That makes five people! He likes it so fart, but he hasn't read the hentai rant yet. I'll cherish the time we spend together, because I'm sure he'll stop speaking to me pretty soon. I swear Jon wrote it!

On the other hand, he enjoyed Sociopath, and that has to be the most violent, depraved and apathetic thing I've compsed yet.

Ciao for now.

News for May 9, 2003.

Holy Fuckshit! It looks to me like France is itching for a giant red white and blue foot up the ass! We now know that the French not only provided intelligence to Iraq, compromising Operation Iraqi Freedom, they also provided Saddam's key Ba'athist henchmen passports enabling them to flee Iraq and escape war crimes prosecution for executing coalition POWs and forcing Iraqi women and children to act as human shields.

Please forward any e-mails promoting a boycott of French products. This boycott has already hurt them. Hurt them BAD. But we need to completely fuck France senseless. We need to let them know how BAD they're gonna get it from us. I wish our next target in the war against terrorism was France, but unfortunately, it won't be. If we were to attack the frogs, all of the European nations which are supposedly against war would leap to their defense. I just know it.

If you need a list of French products, feel free to e-mail me at mikhael@comcast.net, and I will supply a list of frenchy-french-frenchcrap. Oh, while I'm on the subject, please also boycott gadzooks ( www.gadzooks.com). Go there and you'll quickly see why.

News for June 18, 2003.

Okay, I know I'm late with this, but these "Gamers Against War" are really making me sick.

"Make games, not war? What a bunch of fucking pussies! I thought gamers were tough. I thought gamers were people who want to be badasses, but can't due to physical emaciation or lack of motivation. This hippie shit is really starting to irk me. If you are against the war on terrorism because you belive that they don't have WMD's fine! You're an idiot. But if you're against war because it's "morally wrong" or some other equally weak statement, get the fuck out! You do not belong here!

If you are against the war on terror because you disagree with killing people, then you can no longer do it for fun! Drop the controller, take Max Payne out of your PS2 and hand it over, wimp. And Medal of Honor: Frontline! Thought you were gonna sneak that by me? Think again! What's that you've got behind your back? Your old DOOM CD-Rom? TRASH IT. If you're gonna bitch about a justified war on a bunch of murderers, then you're not allowed to simulate war for fun. Them's the rules, Jack. Deal.

And hey, don't blame me for going on and on and on about the war. These fucking protestors are the ones that keep bringing it up! Not me! I'm fucking sick of talking about the war! STOP BRINGING IT UP, ASSHOLES!

Please spread the word of the boycott against gadzooks ( www.gadzooks.com). Go there and you'll quickly see why.

News for August 1, 2003.

What's new in the world? Who cares? Fuck the world! What's new with ME? That's what's important.

My journal entries have become common enough to be considered a hobby. I really do love that journal.

On Hot or Not I started out with a 9.1, and have since plummeted to a 7, only to rise again to a 7.9. Hopefully I'll be able to regain my standing amongst the utterly shallow.

News for August 31, 2003.

Okay, I've played The Legend of Zelda: Windwaker. I like the graphics, I like the controls and the sound is amazing. And, since no one is with me on my anti-"Chibi Link" crusade, I give in. He looks fine. Fuck you, Jon.

Other games I've recently given a go:
Chaos Legion. I hope the people who made this are the same people that made Devil May Cry 2, otherwise were gonna see a lawsuit soon.
Wild Arms 2 is good. I know it's old, but I'm only checking it out to prepare myself to play Wild Arms 3. I couldn't find the first one.
F-Zero GX = Amazing. Great addition to the series. Graphics and sound (kisses fingers) magnifique!

Okay, sorry. I'm not an Italian chef. Just a blogger.

In other news, I've found a great site called Work or Spoon? Simply put: yay. My first entry is the latest, so check it out quick before it gets lost in the archives. Oh, screw that- here's a link: Questions From A Video Store

News for September 27, 2003.

COMIC!!!

News for October 18, 2003.

Once again I'm featured on Work or Spoon.com cause I'm the shit. Typical Night At My Store

Another Source For Your Daily Dose Of Misinformation

Onion