A DREAM OF LIVING
I once had a realization that I was dreaming myself alive. I think I am dreaming now because I remembered something that had happened to me at a very young age.
When I was around the age of 4, I was visiting at my aunt and uncle's house with my family. Their basement was flooded and you could see the water had risen all the way up to the level of the windows from outside. I had just gotten into trouble for fighting with one of my brothers and was made to take a "time out" in one of the small rooms in the house. I slipped out when no one was looking and went to the basement window outside. The window was wide open. I knelt down and was looking at all of the water. Then I saw it, a beach ball floating on the far side of the room. I just had to have it... and being the determined little girl that I was, I took off my shoes and dress...I went after the ball.
The next thing I remember, a beautiful lady was helping me put my clothes back on. She smelled of the sweetest perfume and it seemed like I had known her forever. I felt such peace. She took me by the hand and led me to the house next door. I don't remember hearing her utter a word. She pointed to the door and I could hear her mind tell me to go in there. I went in and drew pictures for the senile old lady that lived there until my mother found me.
Years later, I realized that I died that day. I have been dreaming myself alive. I am following some kind of directions that seem to be written internally. They give me instructions as to whom I was intended to be, and what people would have looked and acted like in my life if I had lived on. It was God's way of giving me a chance to make a choice one day.
I knew that all of the ones that had come into my dream with something truly wise to teach were really just angels. The angels still come and go from my dream to see if I am ready to leave yet. They can sense what I have been creating for my dream and are careful to instruct me away from the paths that lead nowhere. The paths that involve the twists that I choose to believe by myself, or from the web of lies a fallen angel weaves. The fallen ones create phantom beings in dreams. And I once believed they were real. It is their job to lead me astray.
Other people are ones I have dreamt into existence; to learn and play with you might say. I gain knowledge and test out my beliefs by interacting with them. I always make the most sense of them with my belief in a Loving Creator.
And lastly, there are the many people that have died as well, our dreams somehow meet up, and we dream together. Our dreams mingle so that we can remind each other that this is just a dream, our personal storybooks. We have an obligation to love each other by understanding trust for the Creator of all dreams and all worlds.
When I get to the point that I no longer need to prepare for reality and I can trust and live joyously, I will wake up back in the water. Then, whatever I have come to believe will happen to me after I die, will be the thing that takes me beyond the dream, to a place where I was not ready to live when I died. We all need to live and be tested, and, thanks to a loving Creator, I lived on in my dreams.
When I wake, I will go on to an everlasting life...a life like the sweetest dreams ever dreamt...so for now, I will tell others that are still dreaming what I know...
~By Thunderhead at age 16
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
1 Corinthians 13:11,12.
The following stories are about the experiences that lead up to my interest in spiritual teachings and unexplained phenomenon.
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HEALING HANDS- I have always had healing in my hands. When I touched someone who was injured or sick energy flowed from my hands that some described as powerful electricity. It was said to be like a strong tingling sensation. However, I chose to quit using "the laying on of hands" because it proved to be a drain on me. It began to attract tension and the physical symptoms of various maladies when too many people with health problems focused on getting in touch with me for a healing.
A couple relatives of some persons I had healed actually became convinced that I was an alien or a witch. Despite all that, many were instantly healed and never questioned the fact that it came through me from a much higher source, in the Lords name, and received by their own faith.
I later discovered other ways to use my hands after I had prayed for the Lords protection, and an unseen energy came out of my hands like a weapon. I guided energy in directions where forces were being aimed at me. I could feel them with my hands like a heavy pressure. One day I was asked to show proof of this ability after I had told others what I discovered. I said a prayer and then used my hands to stop all sound around us. We could hear a pin drop a block away. I could wave my hand around in a circular motion to concentrate all noise, and it sometimes became deafening. I could point at a sound far away, like a siren or barking dog, and direct it to our location. The friends who were there watching nearly jumped out of their seats because it sounded as though the source was brought right there into the room with us.
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WE CARRY EACH OTHER- While attempting to understand the unseen infuences that I could see in everyone's lives, a time came when I realized that I had been taking on a lot of others' problems. I decided to seek counsel from a spiritually enlightened friend. She said that I was "a sensitive" and when people were thinking about me, even to ask for my help with something, I would live their experience as well. On the other hand, I could inspire and share people's elation. But, if I was too busy to pay attention, I was weighed down with worries and turmoil that were not my own. It was a type of role-playing, without my conscious approval. If I had let it affect me for too long, things would accumulate to the point that I was being treated the same as the persons with the problems by those around me. It was apparent that these were not my own difficulties because the emotional feelings usually did not correlate with my circumstances. I sometimes felt like I was drowning in other's grief, anger, or confusion. I soon found that if I would listen while it bled over onto those close by, paying attention to what was being said and who's personality characteristics it compared to, I could consistently guess who was thinking about me.
If I were the focus of someones excessive musing, I would read his or her mind in detail. I could see what they were seeing, think what they were thinking and even smell their cologne or perfume. I either got in touch with them or eventually they would call or drop by, describing the same personal experiences or problems that I had already been made to be aware of, not to mention live along with them. Answering the phone by saying hello with that particular caller's name spooked a lot of people. I learned the truth about this supposed phenomenon, and I did my best to explain to others that this happened to all of us in varying degrees. Even the bible states that we all carry each other's burdens whether we are sensitive to and aware of it or not. If every one were more observant and took the time to straighten out problems with prayer, violence and hatred would disappear from the world. I found it disturbing to know how often little children (being naturally sensitive) had been blamed and punished for poor behavior because, as an example, they were acting out emotions that were projected on them by a parent who was having problems getting along with a family member, co-worker or acquaintance.
This friend reminded me that praying for the loving Creator to bless other person's spirits was the only way to resolve it (wishing good feelings towards them with a positive attitude worked much the same way). At times, I shared frustrations with people I had not yet personally met. Praying always corrected the difficulty and drew them into my life. I was often as amazed as they to discover details about an obstacle that we had both overcome with prayer during the same time frame. I discovered that I could gain control over being excessively sensitive by calling on the Lord for help through prayer. Choosing an everyday life that practiced celibacy, purifying my diet (no refined sugars, added salt, meat, processed fats, concentrated food: both liquid and solid), exercising, avoiding all drugs and alcohol, and keeping my life private from those that were living destructive ones helped tremendously. In the beginning that sounded impossible, having already lived by most peoples standards. However, once I made a commitment to living a spiritual lifestyle, I found it very difficult to be content any other way.
Multiple personalities are along the very same lines of understanding. As I already said, we are all carrying the personalities of those around us in one way or another. Sometimes it is the carrying of someone that you haven't met yet because there is a lesson in being that person. Helping them to overcome a problem without meeting up with them until long after you have helped them can be for a reason. You are actually supposed to be praying for the personalities you think are "extensions of yourself". They are real people, and carrying them is the means to eventually understand others more completely. Compassion is the key word here. You are learning something important so you literally walk in other people's shoes on a telepathic level. They won't go away until you help them overcome, fear, hate, bad habits, etc. To say, "Well I just can’t help it, it is one of my other personalities," is a total lack of caring. Not only for oneself, but also for mankind in general. I spent years studying this phenomenon and everyone that understood this was healed.
Carry each other's burdens and in this way you will fulfill the
law of Christ.--Galatians 6:2, New International Version
SLEEP: From a very young age I would observe my dreams in color; and taste, touch, and hear nearly as real as life. My dreams were never distorted; they made perfect sense. Like imaginative scenes from movies, they always had a pleasing story and ending. It was as though the line between human reality and my dream-self had always been removed.
I never forgot my dreams. This is one I remember to this day:
I was walking in a forest with snow all around. I walked past a grove of pine trees and there I saw a man with white hair and a white beard. Even though there was something very ancient about him, he radiated power. He said to me, COME HERE, in a thundering voice. He had red glowing eyes. I was scared and started to run, but he took out a long whip with thorns on it. He snapped the whip and it wrapped around me.
He pulled me to him and spoke again. He said, YOU MUST GO DOWN THERE. Then I fell through some ice. I was sinking in crystal clear water and I saw below me what looked like white sand. I began to call out in my heart for him to help me because I worried that I would drown. But, he said in a strong voice from above me, THE WATER IS DEATH, YOU WILL TAKE IT IN, I GIVE YOU POWER OVER IT. I came up out of the water somewhere fresh and new.
I was filled with joy as I realized that I was in a pool on a very large ship. I saw people everywhere and heard them laughing. They were all very happy. When I got older, I found places in the bible that described the Lord and Creator exactly as I had seen him in this dream.
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