~~Poetry~~
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I want to cover you in roses until the thorns make you bleed. Make you feel the pain you have forced me to see. The rain falls around me like a million stabbing knives, And you don't seem to understand why my heart dies. Your soul is mine, my heart is yours. Why can't we stay like this; please stop slamming doors. I'm locked out without a key. To the ground fall pieces of me. Pieces that your touch made warm. Your love was like honey that bees did swarm. My life ends when you give up. I wish I was the wine you drink from your cup. I want to be the breeze on your hot day. The sun on your back as you lay. But some devious spirit has blown out the flame. We are so different yet we are the same. Lay with me here in this grave, And pray for god my life to save. For there is no me when you disappear. My cries to you you do not hear. The pain is unbearable; I hope you can feel it. You can see the hurt in my face; I cannot conceal it. Come back to me now and let me feel your skin. Release me from these chains that hold my heart within.
Heart dressed in black and stabbed ten times. You'll find hate over love if you read between lines. You fell for a lie that was not meant to be. Your eyes were covered too dark to see. Pain and betrayel discolor you now. It covers you whole and no hope can be found. Dropped like a habit and burned from the fire. Now you see that I was a liar. You fell for me, yet I hate you more. I laughed with Satan when you walked out the door. No farewell, no goodbye, it came to an end. No more fake love glances will be sent. You're on your own and I taught you a lesson. To me you were nothing but a tasty concession. I wish you would take your very last breath. If you were a match I would burn you to death. You're cold and stale and all alone. The smoke has cleared and now you're gone. I look down at your body and smile with my face. Now you're nothing but a foul disgrace.
The thick smoke coats my throat and fills my lungs. I feel like I've been high for months. My eyes half shut and look like glass. I wish forever this feeling would last. Thick like cotton, my mouth is dry. My feelings are numb and immune while I'm high. No more sadness, depression, or anger. Though I know I put myself in danger. I feel as if nothing matters. Not a care in the world, I'm filled with laughter. For hours I sit and relax while I'm stoned. I don't want to come down; I don't want to go home. The feelings will arise and I'll feel dead again. Six feet under and no end.
I can not run; I can not hide. My world is all a made-up lie. I feel there's nothing to believe. Please death come upon me so this hell I can leave. There is no longer a point in life. Deceitful poem of life I refuse to recite. I have a knife in my hand and my wrists are bleeding. I live for love and hate life; I'm at the point of needing. No one hears my cries because they fall upon deaf ears. How could I have fucked up so bad in only a few years? Everything is my fault, yet I'm the cause of nothing. Death is close; fire singes my skin and the ground of hell I'm touching.King of Hate grabs my neck and tightly squeezes. He fills my body with all diseases. I fall with death and it swallows me whole. The key is lost and I'm eternally below.
What if I leave; what would you feel? Would you care or is it not a big deal? The door is sucking me into life. I can't stay here; I don't want to die. I want to dance in the lights and receive a high. Words float from my mouth like soft spoken lies. No more tomorrow; I live for today. I swim through life; no attention I pay. When the days go to sleep and I fall to my grave, I'll be stoned and my body will slowly decay. Into nothing I will become. Intoxicated mind and more hits to come.
Why are people so prejudice? I just don't understand. There is no difference between a white and black man. We are all the same through my eyes, But to some people the difference in color never dies. Why are people so prejudice? There is no reason for this. When you pay attention to color there is so much you could miss. Just like paint, different people mix well. Why does color matter? This is Earth, not Hell.
The Reaper calls and asks me to kill. But I have to take just one more pill. Death is close; I can feel the fire. This nasty high I do admire. Darkness covers me and makes me warm. My heart is black and it is torn. "The time has come," he says to me. I don't put up a fight I just let myself bleed. I feel my body drift away into a cloud of smoke. I wish there was time to take one last toke. But there's not, so dead I am. Lost in hell and forever damned.
Take my hand and lead me to your heart. I want to feel your dreams that shine light in the dark. Your smile caresses me soul and makes my life complete. Your love has changed the way I feel; I am no longer me. You have made me a follower in your angel parade. You have given me wings to fly through each day. I imagine us together for the rest of our lives. We have so many memories and so many happy times. To feel this way is something new. I give my world, my life, and my heart to you. I will never break a promise; I intend to keep all. If you are ever in need I will not let you fall. The truth of the matter is that I love you. Forever and always my love will be true.
Drowning in despair and gasping for air. Why does life have to be like this? I have come to far for all this shit and I feel I'm half a pair. My heart beats slow as I sink to the bottom and my lungs inhale the water. I tried hard to be normal, but I was missing a father. Missing pieces of the puzzle make my life incomplete. I hope I end up rich and famous instead of on the streets. Drugs feel good; they ease my mind and slow down my thinking. But thinking I'm no longer doing because I'm drowning and I'm sinking.
Staring over my shoulder...My mind is twisting. Wondering where to go. What am I missing?
A long stem rose. Sweet, intimate kiss. Your body against mine. Your body I miss. As we make love I become excited. The thrusting of your body makes me feel delighted. It is pure bliss when I moan. With our bodies as one I do not feel alone. You are out to please only me. Your movements cause me to not disagree. We reach our point and lay together. Nothing in this world could be better. Thank you for showing me love. Having you is a reason to thank the heavens above.
Death. It's like the everlasting stench of cheap perfume. Swirling around your brain until you meet your doom. Death. There is no hidden door for you to escape. Death is intertwined with fate. Some die peaceful. Some die mad. Some die alone. Others die sad. When darkness envelopes you and you take your last breath. One dark word will plague your mind. That one word is death.
When love pulls you close and kisses you deeply, you know the time is right. Nothing seems to matter when your love goes farther than the stars in the night. You're carried away by the feeling of love's fingers wrapping around your heart. The days go by so fast, yet you remember every part. Love has no end if the heart is true. But the outcome of it all is dependant upon you. To your love you cannot cheat, forsake, or lie. The feeling of love is a neverending high. It twists you around in the wind like a soft, floating feather, Making you wish it would go on forever. So when you find love keep it safe in your heart, For no one likes lonliness; it makes the heart dark.
Twist into the night and roll with the smoke. The thin streams of cigarette smoke. Pull the drugs into my lungs. Exhale... Immediate reverse into reality. Mindfolding thoughts. Extreme emotional flow. Rolling tears; flowing stream. Understanding... Dance into intoxication. Forget the dusty past. Relaxation...
Suffering faces hidden beneath smiles. Tears dripping to the ground. Some try to smile, but only produce a frown. The ending of lives without hesitation. The blood splattered dreams of devastation. Torn thoughts and evil ways. How many killings at the end of each day? Go through life the way we were taught. Smile and wave, but don't be stopped. Troubles overcome the life and make the memories numb. We shrivel to oblivion acting amongst the dumb. Lithium.
My life has turned to shit and there is nowhere to turn. The older I get, the closer the flames, and the more the fire does burn. No one to talk to; I've lost all my friends. Will I live today or kill myself; I guess it just depends. On how I feel or if the gun is loaded. If I want to cry or if the pain hurts, I know I will not show it. I imagine my death and plan my suicide. I feel empty and dead and all alone inside. I must be invisible for no one seems to listen. My mind wishes blood out of my veins and in the light it glistens. But when I blink the blood is not there. I wish I could disappear into air. For reasons of insanity and depression I cry. Nothing gets better, it all gets worse and I wish like hell I would die. I scream my loudest, but no sound comes out. All of a sudden I'm filled with doubt. What if life's real and not just a dream? I wish my soul I could redeem.
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