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{Fever Girls} {To Mother} heather blank
{Fetal Violet} How sad it is..Persephone's eyes were heavy and all the yawns that come from me are not exhaustion for i and the tree seperates..it divides the line between oh and he made us so happy...i must include him, the we went to the garden, the three of us. we cut all i think back and remember how i wished for him so he came thru my window one night. like a spy, a bat so user-friendly we adapted this {untitled} {raGdoLL} Heather's Page...check out her writing and hedgehogs!
can you blame us
stars that lost our shine
fever girls that were once so pale
and maybe this color is illness
but look what happens
when skin is for sale
she could never sing
she could never bleed
she could never bring
she could never feed
their NEED
that sidles through their souls like thieves!
they'll swallow us whole;
break bended knees
and gag us deathly,
open-mouthed..
and what we thought
was refusal, was invitation
sniveling intimidation
over my twisted body
over my broken soul
my dysfunction, FUCKER (fuck-her)
is not YRS to control
and i inhale yr fumes
i swallow too soon
i claw at blind eyes
never asking why
because i'm no barbie
and i don't need a ken
tho he's without the genitalia
that causes sin....
i consume you
painfully chew you
ROTTEN ROTTEN ROTTEN
boy.
I need my space goddess;
in this green
lie insults, your most wonderous offer--
in your spit, I shine.
in the shredded skin
and teeth and hair
and bonei shed for youin false idolatry
a mangled mess, i drudge on
through Hell's snows,
awakening to the pain
I was numb (dumb) to.
12/2/98
the hatred screamed out of
her during the first hour of birth now purged she
dwelled in the citadel of love
that would eternally surround her.
do not tire.. i go on and
on for endless hours and miles and keep on ticking
and taking the beatings...
verbal assaults, heads that roll, it is all
contradictory and engrained into the
human condition of a feeble mind.. she knew then
what she knows now and nothing
is different. the heart beats and pounds and hammers
and drills holes in her
chest leaking out like blood-red breastmilk...
the fertile field and the
barren land and what was going on inside my head as
the coffin baby failed to
prosper and what else could i do but feed her and
need her, wrap her in
newspaper yet hide her from the world in the
dumpster of a life that couldn't be
better than death. and yet we persevered, this
extension and I, a team, together
banding and gasping for what we never had...
lover, that vampire that
made me and the coffin baby...persephone.. his blood
shed in tears and in
strength that he passed to us, the two of us that he
built from his own lack of
soul...
the roses for the summer and
buried them deep, hiding them from bees. persephone
wallowed in the earth and i
thought 'how soon she is accustomed to where we
belong..'
and how now this life will go
on eternally.... and does it have essence? IS THERE
SOME REASON that we are
meant to live insane and yet be dead and yet never
die? circles and circles we
walked in till the sun rose, gurgling to the child..
of a prince flew thru my
window the one i wanted, the one i saw so long ago
and wished for and wanted to
make mine, he came to me...wishes like fishes they
do come true...careful what
you wish for..."so much to die for.." and i must
quote the tortured girl that
screams for her soul and her head spins in
swirls....i love that girl.
way..................................
so much there was plenty and we threw it away
and we live by the light of the moon howling and
screaming
the vampire swoon
treachery in the idiotic romance that shatters in
nature's long sigh.
i blew it away ten-fold
three times a day
aching like a monster
in this shimmering design of a shatter
bruised and defused
a crumbling statue begging
each passerby
for their strength or their wisdom
or their ability to fly
and i was shown up and torn up
and ripped apart
held dangling by my nerves
and floundering
a butterfly with no wings
a bird that cannot sing
humbled and undaunting.
blasphemed and shamed
departed on wings of pain
i justify this rain
i swallow it.
i crumble in his arms
i want to collapse
the way i used to
ragdoll
and he'd hold me up
he always did.
and what was i thinking...
retaliation
what was he thinking
degradation
who knows.....why care...why bother....
the answer escapes us.
we were once so close
molecules could not come between us.
and then our love hit an iceberg and
we sank.
