Flashbacks - Group 6

Reva as Cleva with Josh


Josh: We have been through this six ways to Sunday. I have not been fair to you from the beginning. I was so out of my mind with grief over the loss of Reva that I wasn't thinking straight when I let Michael make you.
"Cleva": But I am here now. You can't just unload me on a bunch of strangers.
Josh: I told you. After a short time, a few months, if you wanna come back here, we'll talk about that.
"Cleva": I don't believe it.
Josh: I'm not gonna lie to you. I don't know how it's gonna turn out...Okay, alright. Look, I thought that I could teach you enough about Reva that you would be so much like her, the kids wouldn't have to go through the agony of losing their mother again. But I've learned the hard way that there are some things you just cannot teach. I told you so much about Reva's history. I told you about her little quirks and her little nuances. But even if I believed that I could teach you all of those it wouldn't matter. And that's not your fault. You see, I can't give you Reva's heart. I can't give you her soul. So when you look at me in a certain way, when you speak to me in a certain way, I'm reminded of her. I see her. And then it's like I have to lose her all over again. And I can't handle that anymore. I just can't....
"Cleva": You don't have to. Because...
Josh: Listen to me. In a way you're right. These next few months, they may not make a difference at all. Because they won't bring her back to me. And I miss her. I still love her so much, so deeply. And I always will.
"Cleva": It's just like you, Joshua, to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You've been through so much. So much loss and so much pain and you never gave into it did you? You kept it together for the family no matter what it cost you. Harlan was right, you're golden through and through. You sacrificed your happiness to keep this family happy.
Josh: I didn't sacrifice anything. My happiness died in a plane crash.
"Cleva": Don't say that. Don't say that because she's here with you....now... in your heart and in your soul she's with you, always Joshua.
Josh: You're so much different than you were before. You're almost exactly like her...
"Cleva": I am what I am because of you, because of your love. And that will never change.
Josh: But you see, that's the problem. I made you love me.
"Cleva": No. No one could make me love you. That's what I was put on this earth to do.
Josh: No. No.
"Cleva": Do you remember when Shayne almost died in that building that collapsed? Do you remember how we would have done anything to keep him alive? And that's what it's like when you lose someone that you love more than anything else in the world. You do crazy things...
Josh: No, don't do this to me, okay? Don't use my memories against me. You see, right now, this is what I'm talking about, in this very moment, you are so much like her. And that's exactly why you have to go. You do things like this. You use my past, you try to comfort me in way that she would. And I start getting pulled into that but I'm not gonna let it happen anymore. I'm not gonna fall for it anymore because in the long run it hurts you and it hurts me. Because you are not her...
"Cleva": Because I am her!! I'm her!! Joshua, I am.
Josh: No! She's the one I want! She's what I want!
"Cleva": I'm Reva! I'm your Reva!
Josh: No, don't say that, please.
"Cleva": I was the one that was in that hospital with you, Joshua, it was me. Don't you remember? I took Shayne's little toy boat there to the hospital and I wanted to give it to him but they wouldn't let me do it, the people at the hospital. And I cried, do you remember that? You took that boat, you put it in your pocket inside your jacket and you took it to him. Do you remember that?
Josh: I must have told you that.
"Cleva": No! No you didn't..
Josh: Yes..
"Cleva": No, Joshua please. It's me. I'm here. This is me. I'm Reva. I'm your Reva.
Josh: Don't try to replace her. Nobody can do that. Nobody!

Josh's Goodbye


Josh: Oh boy, we did alot of things together didn't we, Reva? Alot of things though we had planned that we never got to. We never went to Egypt to see the pyramids and we never stood arm in arm together on that big wall they've got there in China. You and me and the kids never went swimming with the dolphins, how many times did we talk about doing that and we just never got around to it. So many things left undone. So many things unsaid. I should have told you more often how much I love you and I should have held you more and kissed you more. Made you laugh more, that whacked out crazy laugh of yours. We were cheated, robbed of time. A lifetime together...forever...always. (Flashback to hospital scene) I believed you. I believed you when you said you'd never leave me. Maybe that's why I still think you're out there somewhere. When I heard your voice in my head telling me you were coming back, I believed you. And when we made love, you told me that crazy story about being stranded on an island and rescued by some guy and I believed that, too. And I believed that you were being held prisoner in the basement of the lighthouse. I saw the initials there, or did I? Maybe they were never there. Which would mean that you were never there. Maybe you weren't...you weren't...maybe it wasn't you that I made love to that night. And that would mean that Cassie's right, that you're gone and you're never coming back. And so we won't get a chance to do all those things that we were planning to do together. We won't grow old together. We won't be buried together at Cross Creek, will we? It's over. Finally. You left without me. How could you do that? How could you go and leave me behind? It's over, Reva, isn't it? You're gone and you're not coming back. And I have to move on for the children, for the sake of the children. I have to and I will.

Jeva's Argument on the Fourth of July


Josh: Reva? Thank God. I talked to Marah. I figured out what happened. Are you okay?
Reva: No, I'm not okay. And damn you, Joshua Lewis, it's all your fault. Did you really think you could replace me so easily?
Josh: No, of course not...
Reva: I mean is that all I am to you? A body, genes, a few memories?
Josh: No...
Reva: Then how could you do this? You brought that poor woman into this world and you gave her my life. A life that I've worked so hard to make for myself. A life that I fought like hell to get back to.
Josh: No, I couldn't stand the thought of losing you again...
Reva: You dressed her up like me. You taught her to act like me. You called her Reva Shayne. My God, you brought her to your bed, Joshua. You made a mockery out of everything that we were.
Josh: No....no...
Reva: That woman in there is not me. Because everything that I have done in my life made me who I am. Every time we broke up, every mistake I ever made, every tragedy. Did you honestly think that she could take my place? Or didn't you think at all? Because what you did was wrong. You played God. You tortured her. You stole whatever life she could have had. You made Marah and Shayne's lives one big lie. And most of all you spit on our memories and on our love. That love was the strongest and most important thing in my life. And the fact that you thought that you could recreate it in a laboratory makes me absolutely sick!
Josh: I did it because I couldn't stand the thought of losing you again. Can't you understand that?
Reva: What I understand is that everyone is suffering because of what you did. She just told me that she doesn't have a life. She has no identity. And you know something? She's right. Because there's only one Reva Shayne in this world and she's standing right here in front of you so where does that leave her? Everything she thought she was is gone. And she has nothing. What you did was wrong, Joshua. Why couldn't you have just fought for us? But instead you had to ruin everyone's lives and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Josh: If you're expecting an apology from me, you can think again. You can't do this. You have no right to question my feelings for you. You wanna talk about my judgment, that's fine. But never ever doubt, not for one second, that I did what I did because I love you.
Reva: You did it because you were afraid, afraid to tell the kids that I was gone.
Josh: Oh, yes I was very much afraid. And I had every right to be, my life had just been taken from me again.
Reva: So was mine. But I found my way back to you. Why didn't you fight for us?
Josh: Can't you see that that's why this whole thing started in the first place? Reva, no you were dead. I didn't wanna believe it but everybody kept telling me it was true. You were never coming back to me. When Michael came to me...
Reva: You were drunk. You were out of your mind with grief.
Josh: Yes I was both of those things. And I'm getting damn tired of apologizing for wanting you so much. For loving you more than my own life.
Reva: It was wrong, Joshua.
Josh: You want me to tell you what was wrong? I will. Going to bed each night alone with an empty pillow next to me, that was wrong. Facing each day, day after day without the woman that I care about most in the world, that was wrong. And the idea of Marah and Shayne growing up without their mama, that was very wrong.
Reva: Well you know something? Grief is tough. But you put up with it, you move on. But you do not make a copy of a dead person.
Josh: You don't know. I'm the one who had to go on for five years after you left again. Alone. I'm the one that had to raise our children. Alone. I'm the one who had to look into their sad faces day after day after day after day.
Reva: That's not fair...
Josh: No, it wasn't fair. But I fought like hell, I suffered a lifetime to find happiness with you again and I wasn't gonna let it die in the bottom of an ocean.
Reva: But it was wrong, Joshua, it was wrong. And you almost cost us everything.
Josh: Can't you understand I would have given my life for you? I would rather suffer ten plane crashes than live one more day without you. Please, I'm begging you, forget about right and wrong. Answer me from your heart. Tell me if the tables were turned, if the roles reversed, that you wouldn't have considered the same thing. That you wouldn't have done everything you could do to keep our love alive.
Reva: I don't know. I don't know what I would have done. I can't imagine my life without you. I thought about you every second I was on that island. All I could think about was getting back to you. But what you did was...
Josh: Was love you too much. I suppose if that's my crime I've been guilty of it my entire life.
Reva: Me too.
Josh: Do you suppose it's possible that that kind of love can make somebody do something completely insane?
Reva: Are you really asking me that question? Because I think I invented doing insane things in the name of love. I mean what would you call building a stupid raft to try to sail off an island to get back to you? What would you call hoping against hope that we'd be together again?
Josh: Love.
Reva: I know how to love without thinking about the boundaries between logic and common sense.
Josh: You and me never had much use for common sense, did we? *Kiss -n-Hug*

Jeva's Argument at Cross Creek


Josh: Did you see the flowers that I planted around Dolly's grave? Well, I was thinking that since she can't have a regular tombstone that I would plant a tree...
Reva: Stop! Stop it!
Josh: Stop what?
Reva: Stop pretending that you ever really cared about her.
Josh: I can't believe you would even say that. I cared about her. I cared about her very much.
Reva: Don't lie to me, Joshua, not about this.
Josh: Do you think that I'm pretending that I cared because I'm not falling to pieces over her death the same way you are? Why do you wanna turn this into some kind of a grieving contest, Reva?
Reva: I'm not...
Josh: Well, that's what it feels like. Like I'm supposed to show you how much I cared about her by how much I grieve. It wasn't enough that I was with her from the day she was born til the day she died. It wasn't enough that I built her coffin, that I dug her grave and buried her myself. I can't believe that you think I didn't care. I mean how could you possibly know that I'm not grieving inside? Reva, answer me. Reva...
Reva: I wonder what is was like for Dolly growing up, ya know, without a mama or a papa. I mean I had Sarah and Hawk and you had H.B. and Miss Martha and we had brothers and sisters but Dolly had no one. She must have felt so alone.
Josh: Don't do this to yourself.
Reva: Did she ever ask you what it was like to have a family? I mean she must have.
Josh: Yes, she did.
Reva: And what did you tell her? How did you explain it to her?
Josh: Reva, please don't do this. She's at peace now, let it go. Let her go.
Reva: No. I have to know. I have to know what you told her.
Josh: I don't remember everything.
Reva: You told me once that you could have kept Dolly from growing up. That she could have stayed young and been adopted by a nice family. That from then on she would have grown up normally.
Josh: That's true, yes.
Reva: Dolly had a chance to be like everybody else but you took that away from her.
Josh: No. No, that's not the way it happened.
Reva: Well, maybe you can't see it and maybe you don't want to but it's the truth. Why couldn't you let Dolly go?
Josh: Dolly chose to continue growing on her own. She wanted to be just like you.
Reva: No. No, you wanted her to be just like me because you were in control. You were calling all the shots just like you always do. Dolly's entire identity was tied to you and you couldn't let go. You never could.
Josh: All I ever wanted was for her to be happy...
Reva: She was desperate to make you happy. Just like I was the whole time I was growing up. She would have done anything, she would have been anybody that you wanted her to be. And you wanted her to be me. Dolly never had the chance to live her on life because you never gave it to her. My God, you know it's like history repeating itself.
Josh: Okay, I understand that you're upset right now. But what happened with Dolly was very different than what happened with you and me. Please tell me that you see that.
Reva: What I see is Dolly lying in a grave dead before her time.
Josh: Reva, you don't know what it was like. You don't know what she was like when she was a teenager...
Reva: Why did she have to get to be a teenager at all? Why couldn't you have just let her be a little girl so she could have been adopted and she could have lived a normal life instead of living like this?
Josh: Because it was already too late. She had already become you. And she was very attached to me and to Michael....
Reva: No, no you were attached to her. You couldn't let her go.
Josh: I couldn't let you go. I couldn't lose you again.
Reva: She must have known that. She must have sensed that and that's why she aged herself because no matter what you said, Dolly knew all along exactly what you wanted. Because you were connected to her the same way you were connected to me. We were the same person.
Josh: How can you even say that? You weren't even there.
Reva: A part of me was. The part of me that has loved you ever since I was a little girl just like Dolly did. Your smile lit up her world, your touch made her heart race and your kisses fed her soul. Dolly loved you so much that she couldn't stand to live in a world without your love. I'd die too if you didn't love me and that's what Dolly did.
Josh: Dolly didn't take her own life because of me.
Reva: You and Michael created her for one reason.
Josh: Yes, to be a mother for Marah and Shayne.
Reva: Yeah, but in order to do that she had to be me, Joshua. She had to love you with her whole heart and she did. You made her love you. And you loved her. God, you made love to her right here. And then I came back and she was left with nothing.
Josh: Do you want me to feel more guilt than I already feel now? Do you want me to take more blame for this than I am already? Do you want me to believe that Dolly died only, only because of me?
Reva: Well, if it wasn't your fault then whose fault was it?
Josh: God knows I made mistakes with Dolly. But none of them were intentional.
Reva: You can really believe that Michael giving growth stimulants to a baby was a good idea?
Josh: We've already talked about this. The point is I wasn't thinking. I was overcome with grief over losing you. And people do crazy things when they grieve, you know that.
Reva: We're talking about Dolly. Not you and me, Dolly who never had a chance.
Josh: I'm just asking that you would stop passing judgment on me. Just stop and try to see it from my perspective. I had lost you for the second time in one lifetime. Twice, Reva. Twice. I couldn't handle it. I didn't think the kids could handle it. Michael offered me a way out. He offered me a way to get you back and God forgive me I agreed to it. That's how desperate I was, how much I missed you, how much I loved you. Dolly may have come from a test tube, but she was born out of love, out of my love for you. I can understand Cassie blaming me for so much. I can understand Alan wanting to exploit Dolly. But you, you of all people Reva, you have to get it. You have to understand why I did what I did.
Reva: Dolly, she didn't have to die.
Josh: Yeah, you're right. She didn't. But she wanted to. She chose to. She chose to. We both tried to stop her but we couldn't do that. And yes, I feel guilty. I feel guilty as hell that she and Michael are both dead. And if I could bring them back, I would do that. But Reva, there's nothing we can do except put this behind us and move forward. There are people who depend on us. There are two people in particular, our children Marah and Shayne, who need us. We have to go home. We have to get back to the business of living. I wish I could bring her back, but I can't. I want to, but I can't. You must understand that. I can't.----- I'm gonna go for a walk.
Reva: I think you should go home to Springfield.
Josh: You can't be serious.
Reva: I just need some time....alone.
Josh: Okay. If that's what you want. Okay. Don't let her do this. She tried to get between us when she was alive. I'm begging you, don't let her do it from the grave.

**Josh wakes up and screams. Reva smacks him in the face**
Reva: What? What? What’s wrong?
Josh: It really was a nightmare. This place, it’s a wreck! It’s a wreck. It still is.
Reva: No, no…come on.
Josh: No I was hoping somehow we would wake up in the lap of luxury or maybe a rustic splendor . Something like that but look at this place.
Reva: Come on Bud, it’s perfect.
Josh: No it’s not. It’s bad. It is so SO bad!
Reva: How can you say that after we spent half the night trying to spruce the place up?
Josh: No, no, no. It’s a wreck, Reva. It’s all my fault. I blew it.
Reva: No you didn’t. What are you talking about?
Josh: Yes I did. It was my idea to come here for our getaway. I should have checked the place out better. Made sure it was at least honeymoon worthy.
Reva: But look, it is. Look outside. Look how beautiful it is. The air is so clean and that lake out there is crystal clear.
Josh: You really like it? You’re not disappointed?
Reva: No. It’s paradise. ~Jeva kiss~
Josh: I remember HB used to talk about this place. He called it “the enchanted cottage.” He used to promise to bring me here, never did though. Said it was the best place to fish in the whole world.
Reva: I wish I could have done that with him.
Josh: Yeah, me too. I’ll tell you a secret though. He was a lousy fisherman. So was I. We used to talk a whole lot more than we would fish. Those were some of my best memories…best memories of him.
Reva: That was before life became complicated, huh?
Josh: Yeah, before you blew in.
Reva: Do you have any regrets? I mean you can tell me the truth. Life hasn’t been all that easy with me.
Josh: Easy? No. Worth it? I thank God for you everyday.
Reva: You do?
Josh: Yeah, I do.
~Jeva kiss and break the bed~
Later…
Reva: You know how I told you that I loved life in the wild and that roughing it was second nature to me?
Josh: Yes. Yes, I know that. I mean it’s one of the things I love about you, that’s so great about you. The way you can handle stuff like cold showers and mosquito bites. Ya know other women…
Reva: Yeah, well I don’t handle them that well.
Josh: Yeah but other women, they want nothing to do with them. They want a nice cushy bed, breakfast out on the veranda, stuff like that.
Reva: They want a big hotel suite with room service and a huge Jacuzzi tub.
Josh: Exactly. But not you. Not Reva Sh…what did you say before?
Reva: It’s what I didn’t say. I mean I know that I told you that I could handle mosquito bites and cobwebs and cold showers but I don’t like that. I don’t like it at all.
Josh: Well how come you never said that to me?
Reva: Well because you like it. You always loved that stuff. You thought it was great and I loved you for that. So I pretended that I loved it, too.
Josh: Because you didn’t want to disappoint me?
Reva: You know what? It doesn’t matter. Because the only thing that matters, the only thing that matters in this world is being with you.
Josh: Have I ever told you about the time when I knew, the very night I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was in love with you?
Reva: Let’s see…about a million and one times but it bears hearing again because I love to listen to you tell it so you have the floor Mr. Lewis.
Josh: There’s some new stuff here. There’s some new stuff. Okay, you were about 15 years old. You remember that cotillion they used to have around Christmas time?
Reva: Oh, cotillion. I didn’t even know what that word meant cotillion.
Josh: Well you sure said yes when I asked you to go pretty quick.
Reva: Well damn straight I did because I didn’t want some other girl to catch your eye.
Josh: That wouldn’t have happened. I knew that you and I were meant to be together. I mean since we were little kids I knew that.
Reva: I remember it. I remember you picking me up. I remember the sound of the doorbell. I remember Mama said, “Get in the back room because you have to make a grand entrance!” I had on that red velvet dress that Mama worked so hard to make me.
Josh: Yes you did.
Reva: I remember coming out of the back room and seeing you standing there. And the look on your face.
Josh: I remember that dress.
Reva: Then we got in your daddy’s car and I remember you stared straight ahead. Exactly straight ahead and I thought OMG something’s wrong. He’s gonna cancel the date. And all of the sudden you looked at me and you had this huge smile on your face and you said…do you remember what you said to me?
Josh: I do. I said that you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.
Reva: Woman. You called me a woman.
Josh: I was trying to be sophisticated and debonair.
Reva: Well you were very debonair. In fact that was one of the most incredible nights of my life.
Josh: You took my breath away. But that is not what I’m talking about. Not the night when I really knew that I had fallen in love with you.
Reva: No?
Josh: No, that’s not it.
Reva: Well I can’t believe you haven’t told me then. When was it?
Josh: It was actually the spring after the cotillion. Do you remember that restaurant with the bbq…
Reva: Kepley’s!
Josh: Kepley’s! We went there for bbq. We were with three other couples that night.
Reva: That place…it had the greatest dance floor. It was so slippery, it was like glass.
Josh: Right. And the best fried okra in the state. Now, all these other girls they were ordering all these diet drinks and wimpy salads, stuff like that. But not you.
Reva: No, not me. I ordered the big ‘ol platter of baby back ribs, fried okra and a quart size milkshake. The Reva Shayne Special.
Josh: And you downed the whole thing.
Reva: I believe I even licked the platter clean. I licked that platter clean!
Josh: I had never seen anyone lick a platter like that.
Reva: So you’re saying that’s why you fell in love with me? Because I was a pig?
Josh: No. That was the night I realized that you just flat out didn’t give a damn. You were beautiful and sexy. And you had an appetite that wouldn’t quit. And when you wanted something you had to have it.
Reva: And I wanted you.
Josh: And you got me. Forever.
Reva: I wish you hadn’t have told me that story.
Josh: Why is that?
Reva: Because now I am so hungry. Starving. My stomach is growling.
Josh: Okay okay. I’ll go and I’ll find us some breakfast fit for a queen.
Reva: Fried okra!!
Josh: I’ll see what I can find for ya.
Reva: While you’re gone I think I’ll take a shower. That is if there is some hot water, we’ll pass on the cold shower.
Josh: I’ll be back as soon as I can I promise. ~Jeva kiss~
Reva: I love you!
Josh: I love you, my darlin’. I’ll be back!
Later as Reva comes out of the shower…
Reva: (screams) OMG! I thought you were someone else.
Josh: Really? Well who exactly were you expecting?
Reva: Well, not that I owe you any explanation, but I was expecting my….lover.
Josh: Oh, I see. Your lover. Well where is this man now?
Reva: Well he said he was going out to buy some food but he left me here all by my lonesome and I’m the kind of girl that doesn’t like to be left alone.
Josh: Sounds like my timing is just right then. Name’s Skippy.
Reva: Hi Skippy!
Josh: You can forget all about that loverboy of yours because you are mine now. And you will never be alone again. ~Jeva kiss~
Reva: Well now that sounds fine to me but the question is are you equipped to keep me happy?
Josh: Well I guess we better find out. Come here!

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