NOTE: ~~~~~ indictates flashbacks.

He nodded off, sleepy from passion and emotion. Two feelings that are completely intertwined. He looked so angelic, so untroubled.

I only wish I could be that way.

He knows that we are on a dangerous path. But he doesn't really *know*. He doesn't know what they are capable of. What they do when their wishes are ignored, their paths crossed. He hasn't seen their handiwork.

~~~~~~

"Heh, Ripper, that was rather nice."

"What did you expect? Shitty fucking?"

"Of course not, man. We all know you can pound it up the ass better than any other."

"You better believe it. Now let us see what you can do."

~~~~~~

I got up, going over to the closet to find a blanket. The stacks of afghans looked cheerily at me. As usual, the surge of gratitude towards my mother filled me, this touch of home flooding me with warmth. I selected a brown and green throw, running my fingers absently over the nubby wool.

Walking over to Xander's sleeping form, I tucked the afghan down onto him, trying my best not to wake him.

Why couldn't life remain like this? This is the way it should be, Xander here, asleep, safe.

I should be safe with him.

But this is wrong. This is out of place.

This is... dangerous.

~~~~~~

"Oh... uh... God, fuck me!"

"What the hell do you think I'm doing, mate?"

"Damn it, Ethan, harder!"

~~~~~~

The Council members would crush me so quickly, for disobeying... for sleeping with a man, a YOUNG man, a student... they would crush me for loving him.

And they would crush him. The way they did Ethan.

No, mustn't think about that.

Besides, they might be right. It is sick of me to lust for someone his age, a child. What right do I have to think about his eyes? Fantasize about his hips? Crave to hear his voice, telling me the things I want to hear? I am just a dirty old man. And he is too innocent to realize it.

Beautiful in his innocence.

And I am sick for thinking about that.

~~~~~~

"Oooohh... yes."

"Happy, Ripper?"

"Very."

"Well, that was fu-What the?"

*slam!* *snap*

... and then there was darkness.

~~~~~~

He snores. Not too loudly, not too often... but every once in a while he shifts. And when he moves, he lets out a soft moan, a faint snore. His lips continually smile, lightly, peacefully. And sometimes, in his sleep, he huddles down into the cushions, burrowing. Every motion is dreamlike, every sound muffled.

I can't help but stare, not tired myself, just relaxed, watching him.

But this watching just reminds me of how much is at stake.

I can't continue. In the morning he must leave.

I can't let him become a victim.

I'll sacrifice myself before I let that happen.

Before I let it happen all over again.

~~~~~~

"Father?"

"He'll be alright, Rupert. This was just a warning."

"But..."

"No words. Do not disobey again."