(Xander sings to the tune of "UpTown Girl", by Billy Joel)
Watcher Guy
In the library I'll always spy
When I'm a smart ass he will always sigh
I've been a lookin' but I don't know why
At his fly

He's my Watcher Guy
And when he touches me I nearly die
His British hands are just as sweet as pie
And on the table I will gladly lie
He'll say "Oh my"

When there's a problem
His wisdom is absolute
Checking his books makes
His face become really cute

Buff says I'm not so tough 
Just because 
I'm in love 

With her Watcher Guy
For his affections I will really try
And one day maybe I will be his boy
I'll try so hard to give him lots of joy
Using toys

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Watcher Guy
I want to kiss him but I don't know why
If he is mine I'll really turn him on
Give him pleasure til his mind is gone
With my hard-on

And when we're fighting 
Some demons 
I really stare
I want to get him 
Inside of my underwear

I don't care what you say
I'm in love
I'll make love

To my Watcher Guy
To his aid I know I'd gladly fly
And if he loved me too, I would so cry
'Cuz I am more then just a horny guy
I'll really try

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Watcher Guy, he's my Watcher Guy!
Ya know I'm in love with my Watcher Guy!
(repeat til end...)