Jez: A lot of people have been asking, who were you in "Good Will Hunting"?
Ali: I was the MIT student who gets propositioned by the horny professor before pointing out that someone's solved the theorem. A very pivotal part, you know.
J: Of course. The whole rest of the movie couldn't have happened without that part.
A: It would be very boring.
J: Indeed. And I loved the sweater.
A: Oh please. Don't get me started on that.
J: I saw you on "Law And Order" last month. And "Homicide" before that. Both storylines were rape-based. Any thoughts? Reflections?
A: Yes, I've finally made the transformation from typecast dyke to rape victim in Hollywood. From here I could easily sashay into the role of a lesbian rape victim, that would make the transition more graceful, so to speak. In "To Die For", I was some girl that no one wanted to touch, and in "Homicide" I was a girl that no one could keep their paws off of. Next I may as well be raped by a woman...that could be an interesting scenario.
J: Sashay?
A: (Laughing) I guess it's my word of choice today.
J: I like it.
A: Thanks.
J: Now, you're neither dyke nor rape victim in your new movie--correct?
A: No, my character is this sort of slutty girl in a mental institution. It's called "Pigeonholed". Justin Pierce is also in it--
J: Wait, isn't he the one who played Casper in "Kids"?
A: Yeah, actually, (with cute Southern accent:) now I only have 2 degrees of separation from my favorite Hollywood nymphet, Miss Chloe Sevigny. Since she was the one being assaulted by Casper in "Kids."
J: But instead you assault him in the movie?
A: Yeah. It was pretty weird, actually. I was really nervous before shooting the scene, so I went to a bar to have a few with the lady who played the bartender during lunch break.
J: A good way to ease ones nerves.
A: Quite good. Anyway, during the shot, the camera was behind me and I had to pantomime the whole thing, but I was still sort of nervous so I did these short, erratic head jerks. When I saw the rough cut it looked awfully fake. Or maybe just like he didn't have much of a wang, y'know?
J: (Cracking up). But we don't want anyone to misunderstand. I'm sure he's got quite a wang. I think "wang" will be my word of choice today. If you don't mind.
A: No, wang away.
J: Oh, thank you! So what's the movie about?
A: It's set in a mental institution, and it's about all these kids from troubled backgrounds--they've all got a special problem and I play the promiscuous one.
J: So then Alison, with whom would you like to work next?
A: I would like to sashay into the arena of Miss Claire Danes, an indisputed upcoming Hollywood power player. I would like to corrupt her, mislead her into doing an array of dirty, illegal things and gets lots of good footage for my own fiscal profit.
J: Good enough!
