Angel: Don't worry, I don't bite.
Buffy: First of all, what's with the outfit? Live in the now, you look like Debarge.
Buffy: Now, we can do this the hard way or...well, actually, there's just the hard way.
Darla: That's fine with me.
Buffy: Are you sure? Now this is not gonna be pretty. We're talking violence, strong language, adult content.
Buffy: Cuz, it's the weirdest thing. He's got two litttle, little holes in his neck and all his blood's been drained. Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going ooooo.
Buffy: Seize the moment, cuz tomorrow, you might be dead.
Buffy: Who are you?
Angel: Let's just say, I'm a friend.
Buffy: Yeah, maybe I don't want a friend.
Angel: I didn't say I was yours.
Buffy: "First of all, I'm a vampire slayer. And secondly, I'm retired. Hey, I know! Why don't you kill 'em?"
Giles: "I'm a Watcher. I haven't the skill."
Buffy: "Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log."
Giles: "A Slayer slayes, a Watcher..."
Buffy: "Watches?"
Giles: "Yes...no!"
Giles: Because you are the slayer. Unto each generation is a slayer is born. One girl in all the world, the chosen one. One born with the...
Buffy: Strength and skill to hunt the vampires. To stop the spread of their evil blah, blah, blah. I've heard it, ok?
Willow: We used to go out, but we broke up.
Buffy: How come?
Willow: He stole my Barbie. Uh...we were five.
Xander: Oh, me and Buffy go way back. Old friends, very close. Then, there was that period of estrangement, where I think we were both growing as people. But, now here we are like old times. I'm quite moved.
Jesse: Is it me, or are you turning into a bibbling idiot?
Xander: Uh...it's not you.
Buffy: God! I am so mentally challenged!
Buffy: No, those weren't vampires. Those were just guys in thunder need of a facial. Or maybe they had rabies, it could have been rabies. And that guy turning to dust, just a trick of light. That's exactly what I said the first time I saw a vampire. Well, after I was done with the screaming part.
Buffy: There's something you forgot about too...sunrise.
Luke: Argh!
Buffy: It's in about nine hours, moron.
Cordelia: Excuse me. Who gave you permission to exist?
Giles: So, all the city plans are just open to the public?
Willow: Well...um...in a way. I sort of stumbled on to them, when I accidently decrypted the city council's security system.
Xander: Someone's been naughty.
Willow: Oh...I need to sit down.
Buffy: You are sitting down.
Willow: Oh...good for me.
Xander: This is just too much. I mean, yesterday's my life like uh oh, pop quiz. Today, it's rain of toads.
Xander: "I kind of had a problem with the math."
Willow: "Which part?"
Xander: "The math."
Xander: "Can I have you?"
Buffy: "..."
Xander: "Uh...can I help you?"
Xander: "We both go to school. Very suave, very not pathetic."
Cordelia: "Willow, nice dress. Glad to know you've seen the softer side of Sears."
Cordelia: "The Bronze. It's the only club worth going to around here. They let anybody in, but it's still the scene. It's in the bad part of town."
Buffy: "Where's that?"
Cordelia: "About half a block from the good part of town. We don't have a whole lot of town here."
Buffy: "That's not what I'm looking for."
Giles: "Are you sure?"
Buffy: "I'm way sure!"
Buffy: "It doesn't involve moving, but it does involve hang out with me."
Willow: "Aren't you hanging out with Cordelia?"
Buffy: "I can't do both?"
Willow: "Not legally."
Willow: "He was a curator at a British museum, or the British museum? I'm not sure. But he knows everything and he brought all these historical volumes and biographies and am I the single dullest person alive?"
Cordelia: "Are these guys bothering you?"
Buffy: "Uh, no!"
Willow: "She's not hanging out with us!"
Jesse: "Hey, Cordelia!"
Cordelia: "Oh please. I don't mean to interrupt your downward mobility, but I just wanted to tell you that you won't be meeting Coach Foster, the woman with the chest hair, because gym was cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the locker."
Buffy: "What?"
Willow: "What are you talking about?"
Cordelia: "Some guy was stuffed in Aura's locker."
Buffy: "Dead?"
Cordelia: "Totally dead. Way dead."
Xander: "So, not just a little dead, then?" Cordelia: "Don't you have an elsewhere to be?"
Jesse: "You know, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or just to nibble on..."
Buffy: "How did he die?"
Cordelia: "I don't know."
Buffy: "Well, were there any marks?"
Cordelia: "Morbid much! I didn't ask!"
Buffy: "Um, I gotta' book. I'll see you guys later."
Cordelia: "What's her deal?"
Buffy: "I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus, and I don't care!"
Giles: "Then why are you here?"
Buffy: "To...tell you...that...I don't care...which...I don't...and...have now told you...so...bye!"
Buffy: "To make you a vampire, they have to suck your blood, then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing."
Giles: "Something's coming. Something is gonna' happen here...soon!"
Buffy: "Gee, can you vague that up for me?"
Angel: "I know what you're thinking, but don't worry, I don't bite!"
Willow: "I don't actually date a whole lot...lately."
Buffy: "Why not?"
Willow: "Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool or witty or at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away."
Buffy: "It's not that bad."
Willow: "It is. I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk."
Buffy: "You really haven't been dating lately."
Buffy: "Sieze the moment, 'cause tomorrow you might be dead."
Willow: "Oh that's nice!"
Buffy: "Dark, gorgeous, in an annoying sort of way."
Cordelia: "Oh yay, it's my stalker."
Jesse: "You wanna' dance?"
Cordelia: "With you?"
Jesse: "Well, uh, yeah!"
Cordelia: "Well, uh, no!"
Cordelia: "What is your childhood trauma?!?!"
Giles: "The vampire is not dead?"
Buffy: "No, but my social life is on the critical list."
Willow: "It sure is dark."
Thomas: "It's night."
Willow: "Well, that's a dark time, night...traditionally."
Willow: "Oh, okay, this is nice...and scary."
Willow: "Does anybody mind if I pass out?"
Angel: "They really don't like me dropping in."
Buffy: "Why not?"
Angel: "They really don't like me."
Jesse: "I can hear the worms in the earth!"
Xander: "That's a plus."
Xander: "I don't like vampires. I'm going to take a stand and say they're not good."
Buffy: "So Giles, got anything that can make this day any worse?"
Giles: "How about the end of the world?"
Buffy: "Knew I could count on you."
Cordelia: "Hello, Miss Motormouth, can I get a sentence finished?"
Buffy: "Don't go Wild Bunch on me."
Willow: "Did we win?"
Buffy: "Well, we averted the apocalypse. I'll give us points for that."
Xander: "I mean, the dead rose! We should have at least had an assembly."
Giles: "We may, in fact, stand between the Earth and its total destruction."
Buffy: "Well, I gotta' look on the bright side. Maybe I can still get kicked out of school."
Xander: "Oh yeah, that's a plan, 'cause a lot of schools aren't on Hellmouths."
Willow: "Maybe you can blow something up. They're really strict about that."
Buffy: "I was thinking of a more subtle approach, you know, like excessive not studying."
Giles: "The Earth is doomed."
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