1. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands.

2. Can I borrow a quarter ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell

her that I just met the girl of my dreams <OR> I want to call your mom and

thank her.

3. Is your dad a thief?? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the

stars and put it in your eyes? (Be ready with a snappy response in case they

say "Yes")

4. Your so hot, you melt the elastic in my underwear.

5. Would you be my love buffet?? So I can lay you out on the table and

take what I want?

6. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

7. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the

word.

8. You must be tired. ["Why?"] You were running through my dreams all

night.

9. That outfit would look great crumpled in a heap on my bedroom floor.

10. My name's [state your name]. That's so you know what to scream.

11. My name's [state your name], but you can call me "Lover."

12. Nice shoes. Wanna fuck??

13. What do you say we go out for a pizza and then a fuck?? ["No."] You

don't like pizza?? (Be ready with a snappy response in case they say "O.K"

14. Can I flirt with you??

15. Your dad must've been a Baker, 'cause you got a nice set of buns.

16. (Look at his/her shirt tag. When they say, "What are you doing?")

Checking to see if you were made in heaven.

17. All those curves, and me with no brakes.

18. If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against

me??

19. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?

20. (Grab his/her ass.) Pardon me, is this seat taken??

21. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

22. Can you give me directions? ["To where?"] Your heart.

23. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

24. How 'bout you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up.

25. Do you know what would look good on you? Me.

26. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

27. How 'bout you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet

clothes.

28. [Tap your thigh.] You just think this is my leg.

29. Say, that's a nice [dress/outfit/shirt/article of clothing]. Can I

talk you out of it?

30. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

31. I hope you know CPR 'cause you take my breath away.

32. Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?

33. My face is leaving in 15 minutes. Be on it.

Kiss on the hand..... I adore you

1 Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

2 Movie nudity is virtually always female.

3 A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

4 Monday Night Football.

5 You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.

6 Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

7 Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.

8 Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

9 All your orgasms are real.

10 Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.

11 You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

12 You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.

13 Your last name stays put.

14 You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

15 When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

16 The garage is all yours.

17 You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

18 Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.

19 You never have to clean the toilet.

20 You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

21 Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

22 Wedding plans take care of themselves.

23 If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

24 Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.

25 None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

26 You don't have to shave below your neck.

27 If you're 34 and single nobody notices.

28 You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.

29 Everything on your face stays its original color.

30 Chocolate is just another snack.

31 You can be president.

33 You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

34 Flowers fix everything.

35 You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

36 You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.

37 Three pair of shoes are more than enough.

38 You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

39 Foreplay is optional.

40 Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.

41 You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

42 You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting fucked.

43 Car mechanics tell you the truth.

44 You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

45 You get to jump up and slap stuff.

46 One mood, all the time.

47 You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.

48 Same work....more pay.

49 Gray hair and wrinkles add character.

50 Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

51 You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.

52 With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries,

at least in theory.

53 The remote is yours and yours alone.

54 People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

55 ESPN's sports center.

56 You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

57 Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.

58 You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

59 You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

60 You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

61 If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've

changed.

62 Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

63 If an other guy shows up at the party in the same out fit,you might become lifelong

buddies.

64 Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.

65 You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.

66 Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.

67 You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays & anniversaries.

68 Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.

69 Baywatch