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Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes?

Because they go answer the door.

How Do you know if a blonde sent you a fax?

There's a stamp on it

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How do you kill a blonde?

Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool.

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Why does a blonde keep a wire coat hanger in the back seat of her car?

In case she locks her keys in.

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What did the blonde say when she found out she was going to have a baby?

I hope it's mine.

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Three blondes were driving down the highway trying to get to Disneyland. They saw a sign that read

"DisneyLand Left." So they went home.

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Why don't blondes get coffee breaks at work?

Because retraining costs too much.

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Did you hear about the blonde at the stop sign?

She's still there.

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A computer programmer at a party is introducing his wife,

"Meet my wife@home.com."

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What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address?

Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape

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Since the wedding night, Bill Gates' wife finally knows, why he called his company

"Microsoft".

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User : Hello, my computer is reporting a fatal error!

Support : Well theres nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!

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How do you make your girlfriend cry when you're having sex?

Ring her.

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This old man goes into the doctor's office and says to the doctor,

"Help Doc, I just got married to this 21 year old woman, she is hot and all she wants to do is have sex all day long.

"The doctor says, "So what's the problem?"

Then the old man said, "I can't remember where I live."

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What did one eye say to the other?

"Between you and me, somethin' smells!"

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Schizophrenic Poem

Roses are red,

violets are blue,

I'm a schizophrenic,

And so am I.

How many shrinks does it take to screw in a Lightbulb?

Only one but the lightbulb has to really want to change.

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Whats the thinnest book in the world?

What Men Know About Women

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If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one would win?

Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that harass is one word.

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What do you get when Madonna is in a convertible?

A top that comes down easily!

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Did you hear about the 25 Irish people that drowned?

They were riverdancing

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Why are There no Phone Books in China?

There are so many people named Wing and so many people named Wong chances are they would probably Wing the Wong number.

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Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill for women that they take immediately before sex?

They're called "Predickamints"

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Little Johnny went into a bar and said to a waitress, "Gimme a beer."

The waitress eyed him for a moment and said, "Look, sonny, do you want to get me in trouble?"

Little Johnny glanced back at her and said,

"Maybe later. Right now, I want a beer."

sent by ~ jkjsac ....

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Little Johnny and his mother were flying Acme Airlines when Johnny, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and asked,

"If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the stewardess. So Johnny asked the stewardess,

"If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The stewardess asked him, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"

"Yes." replied Johnny,

So the stewardess told Johnny, "Tell your mother that Acme Airlines always pulls out on time."

sent by ~ jkjsac ....

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President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day,

and due to an administrative foul up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope was sent to hell.

The Pope explained the situation to the devil.

The devil checked out all of the paperwork and the error was acknowledged.

The Pope was told, however, that it would take about 24 hours to fix the problem and correct the error.

So the Pope just bided his time in hell.

The next day, the Pope was called in, and the devil said good-bye as the Pope went off to heaven.

On his way up, he met Clinton, who was on his way down.They stopped to chat.

Pope: Sorry about the mix up.

Clinton: No problem.

Pope: Well, I'm really excited about going to heaven.

Clinton: Why's that?

Pope: All my life, I've wanted to meet the Virgin Mary.

Clinton: You're a day late.

sent by ~ little dick

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