~Death By Chocolate~

~SETTING:The Meadowbrook Health Resort,a converted mansion in Upstate New York. The eve of the "Grand Re-Opening" of the Meadowbrook Health Resort after several weeks of dormancy following the death of Henry Meadowbrook~

~CAST~
HENRY MEADOWBROOK(Robert Landrio) Founder of the Meadowbrook Health Resort.Seen only briefly when he is shot at his desk in the opening moments of the play.
Quote: What quote?? I'm dead in the first three minutes!

ALFREDA MELLOX (Sara Simon)She is in charge of the resort staff, a position given to her by Henry Meadowbrook only because she was a trusted "companion". Or was she?? Very stiff, with a clipped haughty British accent.
Quote:"Are you trying to make some sort of point, or is this your attempt at humor?"

LADY RIVERDALE (Syd Hildebrand)Owner of Lady Riverdale Chocolates, and the new owner of the Meadowbrook Health Resort.She is the pompous, high society type. Except when she is required to use her vicious "street shrewdness" in order to survive.(Which serves as a hint to her mysterious past!)
Quote: "You're a pig Ralph. A first prize porker!"

DYSLEXIA (Belinda Vair)Lady Riverdale's assistant and long suffering eccentric secretary.Famous for her unusual clothing choices.
Quote: "I was at home on December 17th. I think Des Moines is the capital of Iowa. I don't know what the Irishman said to the Isrealite, and no, I didn't kill Edith Chiles or Ralph Deadwood."

JOHN STONE (Frank Pickus)New Manager of the Meadowbrook Health Resort.(How he got there, no one knows!) He is quick witted and finds almost everything absurd (your basic cynical person)
Quote: "The butler not only did it...she did it with the victim!"

RALPH DEADWOOD (Phil Carlson)The Gym Manager, and all around sleaze ball.Knows all about Lady Riverdale's secret past, and has used that knowledge to get what he wants from her.
Quote: "You sweet sensitive guys drive me crazy.Aerobics is a wimp's way out of a good hard exercise. You wanna get in shape? Pump some iron!"

MARGARET DANIELS (Leta Aldous)A very attractive woman who is trying to write a feature story on the resort for a leading gossip magazing.Or is she?
Quote:" Sauna! I'm like a prune I've been in the sauna so long!"

EDITH CHILES (Deborah Landrio)The Head Chef. A rather large buxom woman with a jovial personality and New England matronly manners (whatever that means)
Quote: "Are you jesting with me Mr. Stone? I'm not very good with subtle humor"

DICK SIMMERING (Don Wheeler)The Aerobics Instructor. Always garbed in a jogging outfit, he is a bright,hyperactive and effeminate person.
Quote:" Well, let's see...there's the "Doggie Squat Bicycle Pump", and the "Thigh Thumping Trunk Turner", and the "Walking Through the Park Chest Expander"and--"

SWEET PEA MEADOWBROOK (Toni Landrio) Daughter of the late Henry Meadowbrook.Extremely overweight,she seems to be trying to eat herself to death because of the trauma of losing her father.Her mouth is always full, so no one can understand what she is saying without the help of Alfreda Mellox.
Quote: "Of course I can talk. All that eating was just a cover."

ANNE (Laurie Casey) The resort nurse with a fondness for valium who tends to panic at the slightest injury.
Quote: "What should I do? I've only worked for spas. I only know how to take care of pulled groins and cramps and--"

ED PARLOR (Matt Feldman) Guest of Lady Riverdale's, he is a writer of murder mysteries with a cheery disposition who enjoys the chance to play "Sherlock" and try to solve the deaths by chocolate.
Quote: "Just fainted? That's no way to end a scene!"

ALFREDA MELLOX (alternate-Roberta Esposito) The hilariously funny German version of Alfreda, who wears a leather biker's cap ,carries handcuffs and a riding crop and intimidates all but her beloved Sweet Pea.
Quote: "Ja,unfortunately I'll have to kill you two.It'll be easy enough. Two guns, two bullets, it'll look like you killed each other. The police won't have a hard time believing that you two dumbkoffs got confused and shot each other."

~EXCERPT FROM THE DIRECTOR'S NOTE~
MICHAEL BURNETT"This play has no redeeming values and no moral element. You should walk away with a sidesplitting pain caused by too much laughter.
We have tried to be as silly as possible, so please do not blame the author. And if you can't figure out the ending,don't feel bad-we've been doing it for three months and are still baffled.
Believe me, if we had taped the rehersal out takes, we could have charged another ten bucks. So don't mind me-if from somewhere deep in the back of the theater you hear a lone cackle-they've been making me laugh since the beginning. Bon Appetite!!!

~CANDID SHOTS~

Edith Chiles

Henry Meadowbrook