Fox Mulder: No government agency has jurisdiction over the chicken. The chicken is out there, Scully, and we will find it.
Dana Scully: There is a logical, scientific explanation for the chicken crossing the road. We need more evidence.
Walter Skinner: You've got 24 hours to find out why the @!!*@@ chicken crossed the road!!!
CSM: There was no chicken.
Alex Krychek: Because he can't decide WHAT side he's really on.
Byers: It was trying to escape the most heinous and evil force of the twentieth century.
Langly:It was on its way to the grassy knoll, dude.
Frohike: I don't know, but she's hot.
Bill Mulder: It heard the words, and they made sense to it....merchandise...fryer parts...
Mrs. Mulder: I have told you that I don't remember any chicken.
Mrs. Scully: I had a dream about the chicken being taken away...
Melissa Scully: The chicken needed to get in touch with its inner self, to find that light and the good. It was in a very dark place...
Bill Scully, Sr: One day the chicken and I will be together again...
Bill Scully, Jr: Dana, you spend too much time worrying about chickens...for HIM? You should be home with your family!
Queequeg: Woof! (translation *to avoid being eaten by Big Blue.*)
Agent Pendrell: To get Dana a birthday present.
The Well-Manicured Man: It will cross the road in one of two ways...
Deep Throat: Mr. Mulder, they crossed the road a very long time ago. Trust no fowl.
X: The chicken is choosing a dangerous time to cross the road alone. The road is still out there, but it's never been more dangerous.
Marita Covarrubias: I don't know how much I can tell you about the chicken... Oh yessssss, the chickenssssss. How much time do you have?
Jeremiah Smith: I can't tell you right now why the chicken crossed the road, but if you come with me, I'll show you...
The Mighty Morphin' Bounty Hunter: Tell me where the chicken is!
Section Chief Blevins: We trust that the chicken made the proper decision about crossing the road.
Mrs. Budahas: That is *not* my chicken.
Emil and Zoe (stoner kids) I dunno, but I sure hope he stayed away from the- heh heh - *landmines* and junk!
Tom Colton: At this point I'm willing to accept any theory as to why the chicken crossed the road--any sane theory. I'm sorry, Dana, but I only want qualified chickens in the intersection.
Eugene Tooms: Mmm...pate...
Det. Frank Briggs: I've been waiting.... sixty years... for the chicken to cross that road.
Darlene Morris: Why do you want to know? So that the chicken can face the same ridicule as I did years ago when *I* crossed the road? You stay away from my chicken.
Ellen (scully's friend): Well - first it had to get a life. And... a rooster.
Rob (scully's date): I don't know, but I don't suppose you want to hear about the finer points of state planning and taxation?
Brad Wilczek [Ghost in the Machine]: Chickens enjoy walking down unpredictable avenues, turning new corners, but, as a general rule, chickens never cross roads.