"THE FOWLEY SONG"

In school I learned the 7 deadly sins
Including evil wrath.
I'd been taught to quell hot anger,
And stop it in its path.
Along with this, I also learned
Murder's wrong, even 'gainst a foe,
So Lord absolve the sin that I'm living in,
But Agent Fowley's gotta go.
~ ~ ~
Chorus:
Oh, X-Files is mysterious,
It's hard to tell truth from lie,
But one thing is for certain,
Diana Fowley has to die.
~ ~ ~
Who knows exactly how she'll go,
Anyone want to take bets,
It could be due to rancid meat,
Or cyanide-laced cigarettes.
Or maybe due to a mutant strain
Or deadly pneumonia,
Or we could let her grow old in Siberian cold
And wish her "Do Svidaniya."
~ ~ ~
Chorus:
Oh, X-Files is mysterious,
It's hard to tell truth from lie,
But one thing is for certain,
Diana Fowley has to die.
~ ~ ~
Maybe we should dig a ditch,
Bury her ten feet underground,
Or leave her down in Africa
Where tsetse flies abound.
Or stir up some pungent potion
And offer her a quaff,
Or feed her to a hungry zoo
All to watch that bitch kiss off.
~ ~ ~
Chorus:
Oh, X-Files is mysterious,
It's hard to tell truth from lie,
But one thing is for certain,
Diana Fowley has to die.
~ ~ ~
We could drop her in the ocean,
And make sure she has no air,
Or mix acid in with the shampoo
She uses for her nappy hair.
Or introduce her to the folks that live
In Chaco Chicken town,
She'll put up a fight, but that's alright,
'Cause her ass is going down.
~ ~ ~
Chorus:
Oh, X-Files is mysterious,
It's hard to tell truth from lie,
But one thing is for certain,
Diana Fowley has to die.
~ ~ ~
We could use her as a test dummy
For crappy French-built cars,
Or strap her to a rocket ship
And send her right to Mars.
But we know there's only one way
We could say, "She deserved what she got..."
With a sense of pride, we should step aside,
And let Scully take a shot.


Title: The Fowley Song
Author: Christine K. Rogalski
Rating: PG for mildly coarse language
Spoilers: You'll be fine if you have the misfortune to know of Agent Fowley. Oh, and there's a joke you'll miss if you didn't see "Our Town".