Atherlae

A Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfic by Cyberslayer

Legal Stuff: Buffy the Vampire Slayer concept & characters (Buffy, Angel, Oz, Willow, Cordelia, Xander, Giles, Drusilla 
& Kendra) are tm & © Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation, and basically belong to them, Joss Whedon, The WB Television 
Network and Mutant Enemy (Urgh...Argh...). They were created by Joss Whedon, and I have absolutely nothing to do with it 
(wish I did). Atherlae is an otherwise original work that is © Fox Lee 1999, aka Cyberslayer (yours truly). If you like 
this story and want it posted on your page, lack of frequent e-mail access prompts me to say 'feel free - in fact, please 
do', so long as you don't edit any bits (except for the Australian spelling, if you really must) and make sure my name's 
on it along with this message. If you do re-post it, please e-mail me to let me know.

Last edited: 10-3-99

Synopsis: Buffy and Angel. The Slayer and the vampire. And 'the ultimate tragic romance', as Angel describes it. A romance 
that, when the vampire suddenly turns against his friends, is not exactly a rosy picture. Now, time is quickly running out 
for the Slayer to save Angel. But this will be no easy task...especially if it means Buffy must accept the help of her worst 
enemy...

Timespan: This would either have to take place before Angel turned evil again, or after his return (he ain't back yet in 
Australia...*SOB*...). I began writing it just after the episode "Ted". Please note that I can't be held responsible for 
any inaccuracies that I wasn't aware of at this point, and that I've only actually seen about five or six episodes (not 
including the comics or what I've read on the Internet). What I'm trying to say is if I've screwed up, don't be too disgusted 
(but e-mail me and tell me so I don't embarrass myself too much!).

E-mail: Compliment me, criticize me, yell at me, insult me...heck, I don't care. The place to send it all is 
cyberslayerfox@yahoo.com. If that doesn't work properly (it ain't my fault) try fox_lee@hotmail.com.

Gimmicky promo stuff (!!!!!): Keep an eye out for my second Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfic, There Can Be Only One, in 
which a summer adventure camp and a mysterious girl tied to Angel's past cause some serious trouble for the Slayer and 
her friends. Also, a decidedly out-of-the-ordinary school dance in A Night To Remember. Coming soon from Cyberslayer 
(hey, that's me!).

Oh, by the way: If you've got this story on your page and would like a decent-looking html version with groovy graphics, 
decent fonts etc. (I REALLY hate .txt files), please contact me.



I
Buffy Summers let out a barely audible sigh as she ducked inside a badly-aimed swing. If a vampire was going to go to the 
trouble of attacking her, it might have at least been a decent fighter.
"This is a waste of both our time, y'know," she muttered, blocking two clumsy punches and driving her knee into its chest. 
The vamp stumbled back, growling in anger and surprise, but was too slow to get a blow in edgewise as she delivered a low 
kick to its knee, grabbed one flung-out arm, and flipped the soulless creature over her shoulder. Before it could rise, 
her freshly sharpened stake was in her hand, and driving through layers of skin and flesh with a rather sickening crunching 
noise. Wrenching her stake free again, Buffy stood back as the vampire disintegrated in a satisfying little explosion, 
flicking stray strands of blonde away from her eyes.
"Chalk one up for the Slayer."
The comment came from behind her, and the reflex action of kicking out in that direction had taken place before she'd 
realised who was responsible for it. Fortunately, Angel had been prepared.
"Hey," he cautioned after ducking her move, "careful. You could hurt somebody."
"Angel!" Buffy snapped. "How many times have I told you not to do that?!"
"Counting just then?" He inquired calmly.
"Angel - "
"C'mon. Loosen up. What's with you, anyway?"
"Try total and utter boredom," she grumbled.
"Ah. They're not exactly keeping you on your toes, huh?"
"Hardly. I mean, I don't want to come across as ungrateful, but they've really been scraping the bottom of the barrel 
lately."
"And that's a bad thing?"
"Yes..." Buffy suddenly realised that Angel had slipped an arm around her shoulders. "...Well, not really..."
Grinning, he kissed her forehead.
"I guess it does give me more spare time..." she mused.
Angel laughed. Not loudly; just a short, breathy chuckle accompanied by a contented smile. The Slayer mirrored the 
smile; She loved to see him happy, more to hear his laughter. It didn't happen nearly often enough. It gave her one 
of those slightly sickening 'warm-and-fuzzy' feelings that probably would have made Giles laugh out loud, had she 
described it to him.
"Okay," Buffy conceded. "Definitely a good thing."
She was content just to let him hold her for a few minutes, and then broke the circle of his arms.
"Now, if you'll excuse me," she grinned, "I was trying to have a nice, peaceful jog. If you want to talk, I guess 
you'll just have to try and keep up."
He raised an eyebrow. "That sounds like a challenge, Slayer."
She shrugged. "Your call."
Without warning, Buffy took off, laughing at Angel's shocked expression.
"Hey!" he protested, immediately pursuing. "That wasn't fair!"
"Afraid of losing?" She taunted playfully from her head start.
"Oh, now you're in trouble!" Speeding up, he slowly gained on her just as she neared the park's small duck pond.
"Gotcha!" he dived for her legs, at the same time as she cried, "Angel, wait!" to no avail. The vampire tackled 
her, pulling her over on top of him, and at the same time giving them both enough momentum to roll down the small 
hill and end up sprawled in the murky water.
"Smooth move," Buffy grunted, removing a lily pad from its perch atop her head.
"You started it," Angel muttered.
At the sound of a furious hiss, the Slayer and the vampire looked up. A disgruntled resident of the pond, a large, 
angry-looking goose, was gliding over, glaring at them quite dangerously.
Angel looked at Buffy. "You aren't allowed to slay that, are you?"
"Idiot," she scowled back. "Have you ever heard of a vampire goose?"
"Then I suggest we run!" Angel grabbed her hand, and the pair scrambled clumsily out of the pond just in time to 
avoid the goose's wrathful vengeance, laughing until they were out of breath.
"You know," Buffy gasped between tears of laughter, "We aren't idiots together nearly often enough. We have to 
do this more often."
"What," Angel grinned, "and piss off 'Count Duckula' down there again?! Thanks, but I'd rather not, if it's all 
the same to you!"
They collapsed side-by-side onto the grass, breathless and soaked, filthy and tired, into fits of laughter that 
made their sides ache. At length, Angel sat up, his breathing finally slowed to a normal rate, and ran one hand 
through his dampened hair.
"You're right, you know," he said. "We don't do this often enough. I mean, just running around being stupid. 
Having fun."
"Three guesses why that is," Buffy grunted.
"I was thinking about it earlier," Angel continued. "It can't be good for either of us. Us, I mean. It's your 
ultimate tragic romance. It's pretty dangerous."
"Angel?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't think."
Another quiet chuckle as he gathered her up and kissed her again, this time the long, slow kind. She loved it 
when he kissed her like that; it gave her the chance, if only for a moment, to forget about Slayers and vampires 
and demons and Watchers and just pretend that she was a regular, ordinary teenage girl who was out with her 
regular, ordinary boyfriend under the stars. Just for a moment.
He released her too soon, and she sought his lips again immediately. But he moved away, his focus suddenly 
somewhere else.
"Did you hear something?" he asked her.
"Man, Angel, that line is such a cliché," she groaned.
"No, really."
"Where'd it come from?" She asked, looking around. In front of them the grass sloped down to the duck pond, 
ringed by the track she had been jogging on. To their left was an old park bench, to their right a small 
gazebo. Behind them was nothing but grass, eventually becoming a line of small shrubs and bushes that formed 
a ring around the entire park. Except for them, the goose appeared to be the only other form of life present. 
But then, both the Slayer and the vampire knew better than to take things as they appeared. And besides, Buffy 
reminded herself, it doesn't necessarily have to be alive.
She felt Angel shift his weight uneasily beside her. She too could feel that something wasn't right.
Geez, she thought to herself, another stupid cliché.
Something had just moved. She could sense it. And this time, it hadn't been Angel. Buffy scrambled to her 
feet, assuming fighting stance, and Angel mirrored her. They stood back to back, neither saying a word.
"Maybe I was wro-" Angel began in a whisper, but Buffy cut him off.
"Sshhh!" she hissed. "You were right. There's something out there...something...Angel, duck!"
The Slayer threw herself to the ground as the creature sprang from the bushes, snarling viciously. Just in 
time, she thought, feeling a rush of hot wind and the tips of coarse hair as it brushed past.
Unfortunately, Angel hadn't hit the deck when she had. With her down, their shadowy assailant had Angel's 
undefended back to take advantage of. The unprepared vampire went down under its weight mid-turn, fending 
off some sort of squat, powerful animal as it snapped at his face and arms.
A furious cry went up, a growl of pain and anger that could have belonged to Angel as easily as the creature. 
Wasting no more time, she sprung into a squatting position and pivoted in a sweeping kick, grinning in 
satisfaction as she felt it catch the unknown beast and heard the creature's pained yelp. It was thrown back 
slightly, giving Angel the opportunity to roll away and leap to his feet, as she did. 
But the fight was over. The mysterious beast was on its feet and running in a second. It was followed immediately 
by the adamant Slayer, but Buffy couldn't keep up. Surprised at its speed, she slowed to a dispirited stop, able 
only to take note of its hunched, compact shape and decidedly lupine gait, information that might be useful later.
Frustrated, she jogged back to check on Angel. Having reverted back to his human appearance after the fight, 
Buffy's bruised boyfriend was holding one shoulder tightly and glaring darkly in the direction of the creature's 
departure.
"Are you okay?" She asked, noticing.
"I'll be fine. But whatever that thing was, it sure was strong."
She took his arm gently, and he winced. "We should get help. You're bleeding everywhere."
"And this is a new jacket, too," he grunted. "Damn."
Still gripping his shoulder, he allowed her to lead him away.
And, not too far behind them, a dark shadow watched, black eyes alight.

II
"So you say this thing just took a bite out of Angel and then ran off?" Giles asked, pressing a pad soaked with 
liquid against Angel's shoulder. The vampire, stripped to the waist because his shirt sleeve had refused to roll 
up far enough, was sitting on a table in the library as Buffy's Watcher tended to his shoulder. Angel ground 
his teeth as the liquid stung the open wound, but for all that, it seemed to staunch the bleeding fairly 
effectively.
"Well, not exactly," Buffy replied, cutting a length of adhesive bandage from a long roll. "It put up a bit of 
a fight...but if it was as strong as Angel says, I don't know why it gave up so easily."
"Any ideas?" Angel asked the librarian.
"Well, I'm not entirely sure," Giles replied, "but from what you've told me, it's a possibility that it simply 
got what it came for."
"What, a piece of me?" Angel grunted, watching Giles thread up a needle.
"It would appear so, yes. Now hold still, please."
"Great," Buffy snorted. "That brings us a whole lot closer to knowing what it was and why it attacked us."
An angry growl escaped Angel's throat as Giles made the first stitch in his shoulder, and the vampire 
immediately looked somewhat embarrassed. Giles immediately looked somewhat nervous.
"You wouldn't...would you?..." he stammered a little.
"Relax," Angel replied. "That just kind of happens sometimes. I've got no intention of flooring you in return 
for sewing me up."
Reassured, Giles added a second stitch.
"Aargh," Angel grunted. "Then again..."
"Now, Buffy," the Slayer's Watcher continued, turning to her again, "contrary to what you just said, I'd be 
inclined to think that we now have quite a large clue to what this creature is...or was. There aren't a large 
amount of animals that strong that would attack with such a simple goal, and disappear without ending the 
fight. It's not terribly logical, when you think about it."
"So we're dealing with more than some dumb animal here," Buffy assumed.
"Probably," Giles agreed.
"Maybe I should call Willow..." Buffy began.
"Actually, I spoke with her earlier, after you called me," Giles, quite uncharacteristically, cut her off. 
"She seems to be indisposed at the moment."
"Hmm...I wonder what Will would be doing on a Saturday night?" Buffy murmured to herself.
"Maybe that 'Oz' guy you mentioned," Angel suggested innocently as Giles tied off the line of stitches. 
Buffy pointedly ignored him.
"I decided that, without Willow, we might at well leave the search until tomorrow," Giles continued, 
applying the bandage to Angel's shoulder. "It's a little late tonight, and researching is significantly 
easier with her help."
"Great," Buffy said, her sarcasm as obvious as it was pointless, as Angel slipped off the table and pulled 
on his bloodstained shirt. "Fantastic. Can't think of a better way to spend my Sunday."
"See you here, then," Giles called after them as they left.

III
So?" Buffy asked as her friend arrived.
"So what?" Willow asked innocently.
"So, where were you last night?" Buffy rolled her eyes. "Don't play dumb with me! I'm the Slayer; I can 
tell when you're hiding something!"
She grinned. "And since when has killing vampires meant you have ESP?"
"Just tell me. C'mon, Will. Pleeease?"
"Hey, I've got my secrets too, Buffy."
"Killjoy." Buffy refused to be deterred. "Was it Oz?"
Willow flushed, just barely. "What do you mean, 'was it Oz'?! Of course it wasn't Oz! Why would it be Oz?! 
What gave you that idea?!"
"Chill," Buffy grinned knowingly. "It was Angel's idea, anyway."
"If there were two of that man, he'd be dangerous."
"He already is."
"Yeah," Willow muttered, under her breath, "to any pictures Xander may have had of his future!"
"What was that?"
"I said...uh...we'll be seeing Xander in the near future!" she recovered quickly, seeing him coming down 
the corridor. "And here he is now!"
"This is so depressing," Xander groaned as he reached them. "I mean, spending so much of our weekends at 
school. Definitely not one of your Slayer job perks."
"Nice to see you too, Xander."
"Oh, hey, Buffy. Nice day. Exactly the kind I wanna spend in a library."
"Is anybody else sensing just a little hostility here?" Willow cut in.
"Lay off, Willow. I'm just...tired."
"Okay," Buffy changed the subject, quite tactfully. "No that you're here, we've got everybody but Cordelia. 
Have you seen her, Xander?"
"What do you mean, 'have I seen her'?!" Xander replied, a little too hastily. "I haven't seen her! 
Of course I haven't seen her! Why would I have seen her?!"
"All right, already!" Buffy threw her hands up in exasperation. "Aargh! What is it with people around here?! 
Every time I so much as mention someone's name, one of you two goes off like a car alarm!"
"Hi, everybody!" Cordelia chirped, suddenly appearing. "Here I am!"
"Great," Buffy snapped. "The world can breathe again."
Without another word, the frustrated Slayer whipped around in a sharp about-face, and briskly took off in 
the direction of the library. Cordelia stared at her back, puzzled.
"What's with her?" she asked the two other remaining teenagers.
"I wouldn't worry," Willow smiled. "She gets like this whenever somebody beats up on Angel."
"Who wouldn't?"
"I wouldn't," Xander immediately replied.
"I mean people who actually count, Jerkface!" Cordelia snapped, rolling her eyes.
"Jerkface!" Xander feigned hurt. "Ouch! You've been practicing, Cordy!"
"Come on," Willow prompted, starting to follow Buffy. "We should start the search now if we don't want to 
be here all day."
"Whaddaya mean, 'if'?" Xander grunted. "Of course we don't. I mean, we will anyway, but that doesn't mean 
that we want to..."
"Xander, will you please shut up?!"

IV
"Here. Put this one on the stack," Willow handed several pages of printout to Cordelia.
"Another one?!" Buffy groaned. "How many profiles can there be that fit this thing?!"
"When we've only the limited amount of information you and Angel were able to give us," Giles replied, 
"a great many."
"Hold on, here's something," Xander displayed two pages of a dust-laden volume that was probably even older
than Angel. "Something called a Shagra-Mar. Fits the description perfectly."
"Bookmark it," Willow advised from the computer.
"And put it on the pile," Xander finished unenthusiastically, glancing at the stack of books with 
hastily-torn paper markers sticking out, accompanied by numerous printed pages from Willow.
"This could go on forever," Buffy moaned miserably.
"Aren't you being a trifle melodramatic?" Giles inquired.
"Y'know, you aren't exactly helping, Buff," Xander pointed out, indicating the stack of unopened books 
that sat in front of the Slayer. "You gonna look through those, or just at them?"
"Yes," Buffy shot back. Then her tone changed. "...Well...soon..."
"You haven't even started looking!" Cordelia cried accusingly.
"I'm going to!" she snapped irritably. "It's...just that..."
"...That you're so preoccupied with worrying about Angel that you can't concentrate for more than a 
twenty-second time period," Willow finished. "If that's what it is, why don't you just go see him?"
"Because I'm searching," Buffy sounded hurt.
"You know, Buffy, that may indeed be the best course of action for you," Giles pointed out. "It will 
doubtlessly accomplish more than your sitting around here."
"You think? I mean, I do feel kinda stupid. That wound wasn't enough to put Angel in any kind of danger. 
And I should be helping."
"Buffy," Giles rolled his eyes. "If it will stop you from moping around here, then please, go with my 
blessing. With all of our blessing."
"Really?" Buffy brightened considerably. "'Coz, you know, now that you mention it, it would make me 
feel a whole lot better..."
"Buffy, just go!"
The Slayer took off, leaving to her friends the books and the Internet.
"How could I forget," Xander muttered darkly. "The Slayer gets all the breaks."
At the Internet terminal, Willow finished yet another printout. "Add it to the stack."

V
"Angel?" Buffy called, ducking into the old, abandoned building that was her 200-year-old boyfriend's home.
"Angel, are you home?"
She listened for any sign of him, concentrated on breathing, movement, presence. She could feel something, 
but the only reply to her calls was their echo, caught and thrown back to her by the concrete walls. 
Immediately, she became concerned.
"Angel?" she called again. Nothing.
She moved over to Angel's bed, remembering the last time she'd been here looking for him. Then, she had 
been surprised by Kendra, the Slayer summoned when she had 'died'. Kendra, who had fashioned herself to 
fight without aid or hindrance from her emotions. She felt a twinge of jealousy as she told herself that 
Kendra would never have been so useless during the search. She would have set her mind first to her duty, 
instead of her loved ones.
But then, Angel had never kissed Kendra.
As she sat down, she remembered the time Kendra had found her here. She'd fallen asleep, sick with worry, 
instead of searching for Angel like she should have. She toyed with the one corner of the blanket, wondering 
if things would have turned out differently, if Angel would still have had to go through so much pain, if she 
hadn't been here. Would she have been able to find him sooner, or would she have wasted her time and energy on a 
fruitless search?
A noise shocked her out of her reconnaissance. In an instant, she was on her feet, stake whipped out of her shoulder 
bag, waiting. Cautiously, she moved away from the bed, braced for combat.
She knew he was there before he betrayed himself. She could feel him like that. It was the shock, the refusal to 
believe that Angel would attack her, that delayed her actions long enough for him to claim first blood. Something 
heavy and sharp was in his hand as it struck her temple, knocking her down, and it was only the taste of hot 
blood trickling down her face that kept her conscious as she almost passed out. With great effort, she wrenched 
herself free of the descending haze, rolled away as he struck again, and sprang back to her feet, wavering unsteadily.
She noticed that Angel had reverted into his vampire form. It came as a shock to her, even though it happened 
inadvertently when he fought; numerous times he had commented on how he hated her to see him like that. Indeed, 
she knew, he hated himself for what he was. But none of that mattered as he lashed out again, and she realised what 
he had hit her with as she saw it in his hand; a broken piece of concrete, one edge jagged where it had come loose.
"Angel, stop it!" Buffy cried, circling defensively, waiting for him to move before she did. "What're you doing?!"
"I know what you're doing, Drusilla," he snarled. "You'll never hurt Buffy! Not with me here!"
Had he called her Drusilla?!
"Angel! I am Buffy! What's wrong with you?!"
He lunged for her; she sidestepped, but not far enough. His shoulder collided with her breastbone, winding her, leaving 
her to choke helplessly for air. Her stake spun out of her hand, turning circles as it slid across the floor and far from her 
grasp. He kicked her savagely in the head, and she felt the darkness coming again. 
She noticed that he had retrieved her stake. The thought penetrated her numbing mind, he really does think I'm Drusilla. 
He thinks he's killing her to protect me. It was rather ironic to be admiring the man who would, in seconds, kill her. She 
wondered vaguely if he would realise his error when she simply lay dead, instead of turning to ashes, or if he'd never know 
what he'd done. He was holding the stake above her chest, preparing to deliver the final blow.
Pain and surprise lit Angel's eyes simultaneously as a chair broke over his back. The vampire went down with no more than a 
surprised grunt, joining the now unconscious Slayer on the floor.
Disdainfully, Xander dumped what was left of his weapon on the floor, and regarded the unmoving forms of the vampire and 
the Slayer. 
"Never did like the creep anyway."

VI
"Hold on, she's coming out of it," Willow said, taking Buffy's hand as she noticed the Slayer opening her eyes. "You okay, 
Buff?"
"I've...felt better..." Buffy muttered, moving her other hand to her head.
"Understandably so," Giles commented.
"Who - "
"Xander," Willow replied, anticipating her question. "I guess his 'Angel-paranoia' comes in handy sometimes. Just after 
you left, so did he. Said he thought that creature might attack again."
"Of course, it was quite obvious that he simply didn't trust Angel," Giles added. "I don't think he'll ever really 
get past it."
"Not after this, anyway," Buffy groaned as she sat up. "How is he?"
"Xander? Don't think I've ever seen him happier."
"I meant Angel."
"Oh. Well...uh..."
"Buffy, I don't really think you should see him at the moment," Giles interceded.
"I've got a right to!"
"Yes, of course, but it just might be better for all concerned if - "
"Giles."
"All right. Fine."
"Don't say he didn't warn you," Willow advised, helping her up.
In grim silence, they directed Buffy over to the weapons locker, the corner of the library that was blocked off by barred 
screens and used for storing various implements of destruction. It had been employed more than once as a holding pen for 
demons, vampires or the like. Now, the weapons had been evacuated, and in their place was a small, makeshift bed, which 
Angel lay on, quite still, staring at the ceiling. She could see that he had been tied down. A large padlock was on the 
door, and Xander stood guard with a dutiful expression.
"He's conscious again," Xander reported as they approached.
"It's about time," Cordelia commented. "You must've hit him pretty hard."
"Hey, I saved Buffy's life," Xander protested. "Who cares whether I hit him hard or not?!"
"Nobody's questioning your actions, Xander," Giles quickly cut in, glaring at Cordelia. 
"Except the part where you came back gloating," Willow muttered under her breath.
"Let me in," something lumped in Buffy's throat as she gave the order.
"Uh...do you think that's really smart, Buff?"
"Just do it, Xander."
"You're the Slayer." Shrugging, Xander took out the key and unlocked Angel's prison.
Buffy felt tears threaten as she entered. Flushing, she turned away from the others. "Hey. A little privacy, you guys?"
"Yes, of course," Giles ushered the others away.
"But - " Xander began.
"She's a big girl now," Willow silenced him. "She can take care of herself."
"Yeah," he grunted, "like she did before."
Ignoring their comments, Buffy moved to Angel's bedside, wondering if he would still react as he had to her. 
As it was, he didn't move at all, just continued to fix his gaze upward.
"Angel?"
"Don't come near me, Buffy. " He firmly closed his eyes. "You know what I did."
"You weren't yourself then! Angel, I - Angel, look at me, please."
"Don't ask me to, Buffy," he shook his head, slowly. "I want to, but I can't. You can't let me. Make sure 
I can't, Buffy."
"I won't. It's okay. You're going to be all right, Angel." After a moment of thought, she reached up 
and pulled away the hastily applied strip of bandage around her head, and tied it over his eyes, 
making an effective blindfold.
"There's blood on this," Angel observed. "Is it yours?"
"Angel - "
"Is it yours?!"
"Yes."
"Did I do it?"
"Yes."
He swore, then turned his face toward her.
"That's why I can't look at you..." he said. "...I already know what I'll see..."
"What?" she asked. "What will you see? You have to tell me, Angel."
"I can't..." he began to struggle against his bonds. Buffy bit her lip, another tear falling, 
and wondered if it was his intent, or someone else's. "I can't say...it's too...too...it hurts...
too much..."
"Shhh," she soothed, placing a hand on his chest. "Relax. It's okay."
"No...you said...I have to tell you..." he breathed heavily, forcing out the words.
"Not if it hurts you." Her voice was choked with emotion. "Nothing matters more than you."
"I can see her...hurting you..." he continued, ignoring her, "...not killing you...but I can hear 
you screaming...and I can't reach her...I can't reach you..."
"Angel - "
His fingers were beginning to turn white, the muscles along his arms taught and trembling with 
the strain of...of what? Was he trying to break free, or trying to stop himself from doing so?
"You scream my name..." his voice stepped up in volume and intensity as he spoke, and by the 
end of his sentence, he was shouting. "You scream it over and over again...and the others are all 
dead...and I can't save you...but I can hear you, over and over…I have to kill her, Buffy! I have to! 
Let me go! I have to kill her!"
"Angel!" the tears were a torrent, and her own voice practically a scream, as she gripped his 
shoulders with both hands, trying to hold him still. "Stop it! Just stop it, Angel! I'm here! 
I'm okay! She can't hurt me!"
"But I can see her," he choked out weakly, his struggles slowly coming to a halt. 
"Listen to me, Angel. Nobody's hurting me. Something's wrong with you. Once I find out what it is, 
you'll be back to normal, and - "
"I hit you, didn't I?" Angel asked, suddenly calm again. "We fought. I almost killed you."
She didn't answer. She couldn't bring herself to.
"Buffy, if I try to hurt you again, do whatever you need to. Kill me, if that's what it takes."
"No..."
"I love you." He seemed suddenly exhausted as, deprived of his sight, he found her face with his 
hands and kissed her. "Nothing matters more than you."
She gently moved her hand along the lines of his face, barely touching him, and kissed him back, 
wondering if he noticed her tears on his forehead as she did so.
"Remember," he repeated weakly as she rose to leave. "Do whatever you have to."
"I love you," she whispered through tears, but she was somehow sure he couldn't hear her.

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