1. Buffy continues to fight vampires and slay demons and lives to the
ripe old age of 75. (Her walker doubles as a stake)
2. On the same vein of number 1, except that instead there is a
spin-off with the descendents of the Scooby Gang are: the Hacker, the Slacker,
the Watcher, the Slayer, the Werewolf, depressed Vampire (Well actually
he’s the same character just a different actor) and a the head Cheerleader/May
Queen. In this manner the show never ends… especially when there’s
syndication.
3. Buffy has to fight the devil that is in a strange twist of irony,
John Tesh.
4. Angel is magically transformed into a human only to have Buffy
realize she loved Snyder all along. Undaunted, Angel and Xander are finally
able admit their secret liaison, and everyone lives happily ever after.
5. Giles and Buffy leave for Las Vegas to open an Office Supply shop
where they run into Spike who is now a stripper.
6. After Angel goes to Broadway (He meant to go to LA but he didn’t ask
for directions) to fulfil his dreams. Buffy realizes that she too can be
an actress and starts an illustrious career in Slasher movies directed by
the creator of Dawson’s Creek.
7. Everyone turns out to be a deranged, ultra-conservative branch of
the KKK and the Feds get permission to call in an airstrike.
8. Larry’s "coming out" kills the show's humor because of
"heart-warming moments" forced into every episode.
9. Everyone gets sick of slaying demons so they move to Jamaica.
10. Mel Gibson leads a huge army of Scottish Rebels to slaughter the
town.
11. The creator sacrifices their show- destroying the town in the
final, cataclysmic stages of demonic destruction in hopes of prompting us to
prevent it for real... nah
12. Soap Opera fans are actually attracted by the "weekly shocking
discoveries" that infest the show. (Will Buffy defeat the vampires?
Will Xander admit he loves Willow? Will Angel stop brooding for one minute?
And WHERE did all the jelly doughnuts go? Tune in next week Buffy the
Vampire Slayer to find out.)
13. Anne Rice takes over a sole writer when her books are all to
stupid to make money (Not that I hate her or the earlier Vampire Chronicles).
While matching Spike for Lestat, Angel for Louis and Drucilla for Claudia is
entertaining, when you consider her later works who wants to see her
scripts?
14. The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Undead Americans sues
the show and wins. (Although there is some discussion about foul play and a right wing conspiracy when it is discovered that the entire cast and
crew suffered “neck erupture.” )
15. Everyone demands a 3-D episode, and with the current budget, that
episode leads to bankruptcy
16. The world finds out "The Postman" was filmed there and the whole
town is torched in a minute.
17. The group realizes that they are on television being manipulated by
a 30-year-old with a sadistic mind and a penchant for camp (better known
as Joss Whendon) and the set out to the real world to beat the crap out of
him and insult his mother.
18. Buffy tragically dies as slayers often do and while everyone is
attending the wake, an overjoyed Snyder throws a “Thank God Summers is
finally Dead Party.” Unfortunately for him not only is he the only one
at the party but in a moment of pure poetic justice a gigantic asteroid
land on top of his new toupee. So in the end Buffy did not die in vain.
19. We all stop watching Buffy, after realizing the Mighty Morphing
Power Rangers was the better show all along. * Hmmm I think I ate too many
jelly doughnuts. *
20. In one bizarre ep Giles wears a Hawaiian shirt and flip-flops,
Buffy becomes a Zen Buddhist and can't use violence. Angel watches South Park
and likes it, Willow becomes a stripper, Faith wears a pink frilly dress,
Wesley starts singing to rap music and becomes a major hit in Sweden, Cordelia joins the Chess club, Xander becomes a drag Queen and Oz fights his
addiction to diet pills. Unfortunately these actions result in everyone spontaneously combusting and the show falls to pieces.
21. Oz turns out to be the pizza boy with a lot of time on his hands
who has been feeding everyone (including Joss) LSD in their jelly doughnuts.
Got anymore? Email me