Disclaimer: These fine characters were created by Joss Whedon :-) Warning: Rated PG-13 for very minor sexual situations and excesive usage of the word Bitca. "Oh not her again" Xander cringes to see his one time Girlfriend Cordillia coming at him, she wears a skimpy blue outfit, making her look like a hooker, She was attracive though, he often regreted losing her, Though not that often. "Well if it isn't the biggest Loser in all of Sunnydale and his Loser friends" She eyes Xander, He sinks into the chair. He seemed scared like a little bunny, Cordillia think, but not as cute. "Cordy" he addresses her "Don't you think it's getting old" "Old?" Cordy asks as she has no clue of what he met "It's been several months since we broke up, yet every day you come and bad mouth me and my friends, Many of which have saved your life as one time or another, at Lunch time. Aren't you over me?" "Of course I'm over you" Cordy assures him, She seems angered at his accusation. "You're a loser that's all, So I feel that it's my duty as a not-loser, to make the life of you, the loser, difficult" "Cordy" Buffy cuts into there conversation "What do you want?" "Some day your gone get yours" Cordy laughs for a moment "I doubt it freak, I'm pretty, I'm popular, and I'm invincible" "You better be bullet proof" Comes a familiar voice from behind. Willow gasps "Cordy, behind you!" "Is this some kind of lame Loser joke, cuz I'm not falling for it" She turns around, surprised to see Jonathon with a gun pointed right at her. He has a murdrous tint in his eyes. "Oh my god" Cordy backs away, she turns to Buffy, the words help me written all over her face. Buffy just sits there, not quite sure what to do. Finally she breaks the silence "Jonathon Don't do this" The rest of the students in the crowded hall, stand still, fearing for there lives. "If any of you move, I shoot" Jonathon aims the Pistol at Cordy "Why are you doing this?" Cordy asks, fully realizing the danger she is in. "Why am I doing this" he is discusted with her "Why?, You made my life a living hell, you tanted me, teased me, Now I want revenge" He sweats nervously. Buffy notices maybe she can use it to her advantage. "You made my life a living hell, so I'm gone kill you and send you to hell, devil woman" Cordy screams, as several bullets escape from the pistol and bury themselves in her, The hot peirce of led, The Pain, Everything goes blurry, and then red. She falls to the floor. Everyonseis shocked, Even the triggerman himself, Buffy leaps out of her chair and takes down the Jonathon, he doesn't resist her. Xander in a moment of blind heroism, finds himself checking Cordy for a pulse, He finds none, "This can't be the end, I saved Buffy I can save you, I won't let you die" "I won't let you die, I won't let you die" The teary eyed words repeat over and over as Cordy slips away. Xanders' voice slowly becomes weaker, and weaker, she feels as if she floating. Floating up she thinks or not, she sinking. It feels as if she's being sucked into the floor. "I won't let you die" Cordy quickly snaps out of her Trance, Her eyes tight shut, she feels along her chest, no blood, no anything. "That's weird, was it all a dream" The smell of smoke enters her tiny nostils, she coughs. Opening her eyes, she see's she not exactly in Kansas anymore. It's red, everywhere, Bright burning red walls encasing her, she's trapped, she thinks. "Ok Cordy calm down, There has to be a logical explanation" "There is" comes a sinister voice. She see's a small man in a dark leather coat, he doesn't look familiar. He walks toward her, his hoffed feet clab against the ash floor. "Like Eww, You're a freak" The small man laughs "And you wonder why your" "Like, Where is here?" She looks around nervosuly "Why your in Hell" His words catch Cordy off guard. He opens his mouth revealing a row of sharp jagged teeth. "Hell no, I can't be in Hell" she quickly backs away, there is no where to run, she was trapped. "So I'm stuck in here forever?" Cordy tries to remain composed "Oh goodness no, That's not what Hell is all about" he assures her "Let me show you" Cordy watches as he raises his hand up in the air and snaps his fingers. She shrieks as her eyes are pulled shut, she tries but cannot open them. "Stop, Why are you doing this" She hears a second snap of his fingers as her eyes are released from there supernatural grip, now there open, Wide open, she can't blink, "Where am I?" Looking around she see's, she's in a new room, dark walls, no windows, it looked like a bomb shelter. The Hoofed little man, appears out of the shadows, He gently brushes some ashes out of his thick black mustache. "This is what we demons like to call the Remorse room, On that screen.." He pontes up to a huge Televisoion" "Hell has cable! Cool," She relaxes "Maybe it won't be so bad afterall" "You fool, Don't interupt," a stream of red smoke emmits from his mouth "On that screen you will see all the horrible things you ever did, in your short and ultimately meaningless life" The towering screen lights up, The screen reads LIFE OF A BITCA Starring: Cordillia Chase Based on the Story of Cordillia Chase Written by: Cordillai Chase The Hoofed Demon man narrates "19 years ago Cordillia chass was born" "Push, Push" the doctor shouts at Cordy's screaming mom, They are in the Hospital, she is abiut to give birth. "I can't do it' She says hoplessy. "Yes you can" The doctor assures her. She screams loudly "Oh why did I ever get myself into this situation, Oh yes, I was drunk, it's all coming back to me now" "Almost there Miss. Chase" The Doctor assures her "I can't do it" "Yes you can, just a one more push" The doctor holds up the tiny baby "Congratuations you had a bitca" She grabs the tiny infant from the doctor and holds it tightly "I'm so happy I always wanted a bitca" The Screen goes, blank. "Hey that never happened" Cordy is angered, The hoofed man cackles "That's just a little joke we like to play on Newbies" "Well it's not funny" Cordy wrestles with the heavy starps holding her down, but has no luck" She looks over to see The little Demon snacking on a bad of popcorn. "There's more" He wipes butter off his hand using his furry chest, this presses a button on the remote" The screen lights up, It shows a quite suberban house, in the backyard a young girl, about 6 or 7 years old, plays in the sand box. "Hey that's Willow" Cordy notices "She was a fat little kid" The Demon rubs his eyes in disbelief "You never stop do you?" "Xandie..Xandie" Young Willow calls out, Cordy watches as a Young Xander runs up to her, a frisbee in his hand.' "Hiya Will, wanna play Fwisbee" Xander sits beside her in the sand box and watches as she plays with her dolly. "I wanna play Dolly"She holds up the raggedy toy. "I'll let you be Molly" "Oh" Xander wines "But that a dumb game, I wanna play something fun" "We can play doctor" Willow pulls out a small medical bag. "Ok, that's fun" He throws down the frisbee "How do we play?" She Pulls out a stethescope and holds it up to Xanders heart "Hold on" She then pulls out a huge medical Book and flips through the pages "Oh I'm got bad news…" "What is it Doc" Xander is nervous "Be straight with me, I can take it" "You have Hebitivis Letter C" She reads from the book. "How long have I got" Xander asks, as Willow puts away the Stethescope "I'm sorry, 3 days at the most" Xander tears up "Three days" he cries out loudly "Mommy Mommy, I don't want to die" Willow shakes him "Xandie Xandie, it's game remember?. Your not going to die" "I'm not going to die" He is relieved "Ah you went and got my hopes up for nothing" A Young Cordillia in pigtails appraoches them. "Eww" Xander backs away "A girl, Cooties Cooties" Willow slaps Xander over the head "Hey I'm a girl" "No your not, silly" He playfully hits her back. Willow sighs then goes back to playing with her doll. "My Dolly is prettier than your Dolly" Cordy says proudly holding up her new Toy, it's hair nicely combed it wears a sparkly blue dress. Willow hold her doll tight "My Dolly is the prettiest Dolly in the whole wide earth" Cordy laughs "Your dolly don't got no hair, Mine talks, she speaks words if wisdom" Cordy presses a button on the small plastic doll "I'm like totally braindead" "Your Barbie talks!" Xander reaches for it "I wanna play, I wanna play" "No you're not popular enough to play with the good Dolly's" She whacks Xander over the head with it, He yells loudly, then she pushes him, he falls and lands painfully in the sandbox. "Mommy Daddy, Cordy hit me, Cordy hit me" He cries out Xander's parents runs out. His dad is angered "Oh look at the baby, this is why we should have never had a kid" The Mother follows him out "Why couldn't we have had a kid like Cordillia" The mother looks over to her "Hi Cordy, I made cookies, for you" "Yay cookies" Cordy follows Xander's mom into the house. The Screen goes black. Cordy seems unaffected "We were just playing, I never would have really hurt him" "Oh yeah" The Demon presses another button. Cordy looks up to see a familiar sight "Hey that's the Zoo" She watches a slightly older Xander looks excitedly at an animal exibit. Cordillia comes over and stands next him. "Hi Stupid Head" "Hi Cootie girl" Xander insults her, then climps up on the fense. To get a better view of the Exhibit. "Oh cool, There the.." He reads from sigh "Kettas" "That's Cheetahs" She corrects him. "Are Kettahs nice?" Xander asks "Why don't you find out" She gives him a push "Oh cool, I get to pet the Kettah" He runs over to one of the large cats. The Screen goes blank Cordy laughs nevously "Ok that was probably a mistake, but he did survive with only minor injuries" "Your pranks on Xander started from a much younger age as well" The Demon once again presses a button on the remote and motions for Cordy to look up at the screen. She watches as young Cordy, about 3 years old stuffs baby Xander into a small box, she taped it shut, then writes the words TO ABU DABI on it. She laughs then runs ouside and shoves it in the Post Box. Cordy laughs "I got that idea from Saturday morning cartoons" The Demon sighs, "Well this is going no where, Lets try a new approach. Cordy looks up to see her old teach Ms. Milton. "Welcome to class students, lets learn a little bit about you all indivigually, when I call your name you stand up in front of the class and tell us a little bit about you" she looks at her roster "First up is Cordillia Chase" A young Teenager Cordy makes her way to the front of the class. "Hi my name is Cordy and I'm popular and pretty, and I'm better than all of you" All the students look at her with an angry expression"Well its true" "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Miss Milton asks. "I wanna be the first Fenale President" "Oh well that's interseted" Ms. Milton smiles "…And when I'm President of the United States I'll kick out all the ugly and unnpopular people" She looks over to her teacher "Starting with you" Cordy seems un-shaken "Well she was ugly, did you see her ears" Cordy laughs The Furry Hoofed Demon circles around her, he then knocks on her forehead with hoofed hand, He hears a hollow knock "Hello, are you not aware that you in HELL" "Ohh get you ugly hand off me freak" "Now I'm mad" Flames pour out of his ears. "Your evil has been a part of you all your life, even recently, What about Angel?" "Oh Angel, I'm always nice to him, he's cute" The Demon man laughs "Maybe a little too nice, if you know what I'm saying" He yawns "Here we go again" They look up at the huge screen. "No Cordy We really shoudn't" Angel back away Cordy slowly approaches him. They are in his appartment the lights dim. "I'm involved with Buffy, you know that?" "I know that" "Aren't you with Xander?" Angel continues to back away "Well yes but I'm also with Oz, Larry, Chad, Wesly, Dennic.." She stops and thinks "Also a few other guys, don't recall their names" She reaches out and massages Angel's chest "Now lets do it" He shrieks then dodges her and runs out the door. Cordy is angered, "You can't escape me, No man can" She runs at an incredible pace after him. He yells girlishly as she starts to gain on him "Help me, I've got a bitca after me" Its' no use, Angel panst loudly and slows down, He screams in pain as Cordy hits him from behind and he falls violently to the concrete. "How about that?" Asks the Demon "Well we never really got to do anything" Cordy seems disapointed "You knocked the guy onconcience" He reminds her. "Oh he always get knocked unconcience, hey can I have some of your popcorn" "No you can't" He shoves the rest of the bag in his mouth. "Pig" She looks away in discust. He holds up the remote, struggles to resist his urge to bash her over the head with it "Well how about the very reason you're here, Jonathon" "That freak?" "Yes that freak" The Demon walks away and sticks another bag of popcorn in the oven. "Hey can I have…" "NO!!!" He screeches "Just watch the damn screen" Jonathon drinks a slushee on the Sunnydale high steps, he spills a little on his stripped shirt. "Hi Jonathin" Harmony appraches him "Oh what a shame you spilled something on your shirt, now you look like slob, oh wait you always have, so it's no biggie" She stops for a moment "Oh wait I can come up with something better than that." As she tries hard to think, Cordy comes over. "Hi Geek, Mommy not doing laundry again" She laughs. The Demon watches "Wow, you were mean, But it gets worse" 3 guys in Sports Jackest walk by. "Hey" Cordy call out, they turn to her "Jonaton hear just said all Jocks Suck" The screen goes blank "I can't show the rest, This is a PG-13 rated Fan Fic afterall" He growls at Cordy "Now because of you Jonathon is in trouble, big trouble" "What ever do you mean?" Cordy asks "Just Watch" Jonathon is strapped to a chair, not just any chair the electric chair. "No please No" He cries out "I don't want to die" Tears stream down his eyes, he can barely make out Cordy's parents, But they look mad. "You killed our Bitca, now you must die" They glare at him, through the window. The blinds are shut, There is an intense screaming, A sound that sends a chill down Cordy's spine. Then there is only silence. "No what have I done" Cordy feel something she had never felt before, remorse. "Feels bad doesn't it, Feels like torture" The Tiny Demon laughs wickedly, Cordy looks at him terrified "Welcome To Hell" He laughs fiendishly. "No Please let me go, I can change I really can" Cordy beggs "No way, your stuck here for all eternity" A door opens up on one of the walls, Two large demons, Come out. "These guys will escort you to your cell" The starps looses and Cordy fall to the floor, The Demon help her up then they each grab one of her arms and pull her toward the door. She looks back at the Demon, "No please I can't stay here, please no" "See you tommorw" he smiles "When we'll do this all over again" He disappears out of sight as The Two Demons lead Cordy down a dark gray hallway, she passes by several locked cells, a name tag on each, She reads them as she goes by "Kendra, Gwendillen Post, Ted, Ford, Cordillia Chase" She reads her name, it must be her cell. "Is this my Cell?" She asks nervous, they don't answer, they just glare at her. "Don't worry Eternity can't be forever" Kendra call out "No!" Cordy is determinned "I' won't give up" She violently breaks free of the Demons grasps. "Stop her" They call out, an alarm sounds. She runs down the hall, She is shockedd to see a group of demons blocking the path, She quickly takes a detour through another door. The walls glow red, as he runs down the corridor, things get hotter and hotter. She comes to a large door, In big bold letters it reads, THE DEVIL "Oh cool Joss will know what to do" She unhesitantly runs in. "Hey your not Joss," she see a huge Red Dragon, Saliva falls form his lips, it hits the ground and singes the floor. "Who dares to come before" It bellows, It's deep voice shakes walls. "It's me Cordillia Chase from Sunnydale, You know from the Hellmouth" He thinks for a moment "Ah yes, our new arrival, why have you disturbed me? Is hell no to your liking? cuz that is kinda the point you know" "It's not that, it's just that I was cheated out of my life, I shouldn't have died, Now because of me and innocent boy has been fried" She is saddened "I see, but if you would have never been such a bitca toward him, Both you and he would still be alive." The Demon lowers it's huge head close to her, it eyes her. "If I could do it all over again, I'd change it, I really would" "Do you mean that?" asks The Devil, "Do you really really mean that?" "Yes of course I mean it" She falls to the floor in tears "I'd make it all right, I'd make it all right…I'd make it all right" Hamony shakes Cordy, "Wake up..Wake up" "I'd make it all right" She repeats again before coming too "Where am I?" "Well duh, Your in school" Harmony tells her "I am?" She looks around they are in the hallway. It was nice to see a familiar setting. In the distance she see's Jonathon he looks bummed. "Hey lets go make fun of that Jonathin guy" Harmony gets up, and starts to think of a good insult. "No thanks" She see's Xander Harris passing her in the hall. "Xander hey Xander" He ducks his head and tries to pass un noticed, but she stops him. "Xander, Hi" "Hi Cordillia" He moans "Here to insult me again?" "No..No, actually I just wanted to say I'm sorry" "Your Sorry?" he can barely believe what she's saying "Yes, I'm sorry, The only reason I insulted you was because I still have feelings for you, and I'm sorry I lost, you" "Really" Xander Smile "You wanna get back together" "Eww No" "Well Ok" Xander watches as she slowly walks over to Jonothan, The young kid looks nervous. "Jonathon" Cordillia speaks softly to him "You wanan go steady" "Sure" They hold hands in walk down the hall. Xander watches as they disapear out of sight "I Hate that Bitca" The End
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