Crazed & Confused

Original Script Format

By Duchess of Buffonia

Fade to next scene.  Xander and Madison meet in the hall the next day after school.

Xander: "Mad... Brit...  Hey!"

Madison: "Hi Xander."

Xander: "I'm looking forward to tonight."

Madison: "Tonight?"

Xander: "The Bronze, seven o' clock?"

Madison: "OK.  See you there."

He hesitates not knowing what to call her.

Xander: "What should I call you?"

Madison: "My name?"

Xander: "Which is..."

Madison: "Madison.  Like it was yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that..."

Xander: "Umm... All right."

Madison: "Bye."

Cordelia walks by.

Xander: "Cordelia!"

Cordy: "Down boy!"

Xander: "Can I talk to you?"

Cordy: "Not now.  I have practice.  Will you be at the Bronze?"

Xander: "Yeah.  But, I have a date."

Cordy: "Oh... well, you can talk to me anyway, your girlfriend won't mind, will she?"

Xander: "She's not my girlfriend."

Cordy: "Could have fooled me!  She had her hand so far up your leg, I  thought you two were going to get down 
on the floor right then and start something."

Xander: "Are you jealous?"

Cordy: "I don't get jealous."

Xander: "Sure."

Cordy: "Don't contradict me.  I'm leaving!"

Xander: "Fine!"

She walks off.  Next scene at Bronze. Madison is sitting at a table.  Xander approaches her.  
She is withdrawn and timid.

Xander: "Hi Madison."

Mad/A: "Allison."

Xander: "What?  You told me..."

Mad/A: "My middle name is Allison."

Xander: "Would you like to dance?"

Mad/A: "No.  I don't like dancing."

He touches her arm.  She pulls away.  He looks stunned. Cordelia comes over.

Cordy: "Hi..."

Mad/A: "Allison."

Cordy: "I'm Cordelia, I was cheerleading last night?"

Mad/A: "I don't remember."

Cordy: "So, you're dating Xander?"

Mad/A: "No!  I'm not allowed to date."

Cordy: "OK...then you won't mind if I steal him away for a moment."

They walk off.  Buffy comes in.  Starts talking to Madison/Allison.  
Radiohead's 'Paranoid Android' is playing.

Buffy: "Hi!  How have your first two days been?" 

Mad/A: "Great, everyone's been really nice." 

Buffy: "I understand, being new can be tough, but you picked a great guy to 
help you get adjusted."

Mad/A: "We're not dating!  I don't like to date guys, one minute they're sweet, and 
the next they're trying to kill you."

Buffy: "Yeah, I know what you mean."

Meanwhile...

Cordy: "She's less horny today."

He gives her a look.  She continues.

Cordy: "You wanted to talk to me?"

Xander: "Yeah, things have been... awry."

Cordy: "Translate, book boy."

Xander: "Crooked, wrong.  We shouldn't be fighting."

Cordy: "We're not."

Xander: "You know what I mean."

Cordy: "No, I don't."

Xander: "Stop playing around!  You've been ignoring me for weeks, and it's driving me crazy!"

Cordy: "Listen.  You wanted to talk, we're talking."

Xander: "You're being impossible.  This is impossible."

He starts to leave.  She stops him.

Cord: "Don't be so silly.  Talk."

They begin to dance.  Change over to Buffy and Madison/Allison/Brittany.  Willow has joined them.

Mad/B: "What is he doing?"

Willow: "Dancing?"

Madison/Brittany flashes her an evil look.  She storms over to Xander and Cordelia.  She breaks them apart.

Mad/B: "Stay away from him, bitch!"

Cordy: "Psycho much?"

Xander: "Mad..."

Mad/B: "Get away from him, he's mine!"

Cordy: "You're messing with the wrong person... I shouldn't even have to say anything.  I'm not 
going to take anything from you.  Xander, if you want me, I'm leaving."

She walks away.  Madison/Brittany stalks after her.  Buffy stops her.

Buffy: "Don't."

Madison/Brittany looks pissed.  Xander looks freaked out.  Fade too later.  Madison is getting a latte.  
Buffy is talking with Xander.

Buffy: "She's acting like nothing happened."

Xander: "She's cooling off."

Buffy: "Sure.  She dropped the bitch routine pretty fast, if you ask me."

Xander: "I didn't."

Willow: "She seems like two completely different people."

Xander: "I think she has charisma."

Buffy: "I don't.  I think I should get Giles on it."

Xander: "There's nothing wrong!"

Willow: "Maybe it's that time of the month?"

Xander: "Will, you're not helping."

Buffy: "Don't snap at her!"

Xander: "That's right, I'm mad at you.  How come you assume that every girl that has a vague 
interest in me has something wrong with her?"

Buffy: "Xander, even though you have a pretty bad track record, I've given her a fair chance, 
and she's given me the wiggins'." 

Xander: "This has nothing to do with wiggins'.  This has to do with you being jealous because 
I found someone and am no longer lusting after you."

Buffy: "Excuse me?  Jealous?"

Xander: "Ever since last year when Angel went psycho, you've been glaring at me with a twinkle 
in your eye.  You practically undress me with your eyes and you just love the idea that I want you, 
so you keep me on a shelf and dust me off when your hormones start raging!"

Buffy slaps him.  Xander becomes enraged.  Madison comes over with drinks

Xander: 'We're leaving."

He storms off with Madison trailing behind with a puzzled look on her face.  Willow is stunned.  
Buffy puts her head in her hands.

Buffy: "I didn't mean too.  It just happened."

Willow: "It's OK, you're all just upset.  It'll be all right tomorrow."

Buffy: "I'm going home."

Willow: "All right."

Buffy walks off, she looks distraught.  Willow is still shocked.