If by Rudyard Kipling

Adapted for Faith by Eric The Buffy Watcher

If you can keep your head when vamps are sinfully,
Sprouting fangs and shining them at you.
Use the term GIRLFRIEND more than Oprah Winfrey,
And the original FIVE-BY-FIVE, too.

If you can talk with Xander and keep your virtue,
Or sit with Oz, nor worry him too much.
If neither Post nor Kakistos can hurt you,
If you like Buffy’s Watcher, but not as such.

If you can wrestle Gators which are nude,
Or save Baptists while nude and hot.
If Slaying makes you hungry for food,
And Slaying makes you need sex a lot.


If you can tell Human from Vampire,
Even when the Slaying gets Real Fun,
Yours is a pride almost bright as a fire,
And what is more, you’ll be Slayer Number One.