Xander Visions

By MIKE



Just barely out of reach,
Angel moans as stretches out his arm, desperately
trying to grasp it.
His body ached in soreness, The pain was
unbearable.
But he had to go on he had to.

"You can do it Angel" He breaths heavily "You can
do it."

 Finally his fingers wrap around the Television
remote and he quickly changes the station.

 "Yes, I knew I could do it" He snacks on a big
bag of chips, watching
The Jerry Springer show.

(Scary Music Plays)

The year is now 2025.
The world has become a Very different place.
Yes The Jerry Springer Show is still wildly
popular.
Some things never change.

(More Scary Music)

The visions of a young boy have come True.
No one believed him, but they were wrong.
The Prophecy's of the Future, The…

"Xander Visions"

Angel sits mindlessly on his big brown couch.
Buffy had told him time after time to throw it
away, but he was too Stubborn.
She wanted to get a new living room set,
Angel groans at the thought of girlish pink and
purple furniture
Engulfing the living room, bad enough she already
ruined the bedroom.
OK so Mr. Gordo was cute, how was I supposed to
know he had a whole family?
He looks into the bedroom, through the half way
open door,
Stuffed cows, are everywhere.

"Why of Why did I ever Marry her" Angel takes a
sip of the small packet of Blood, a low grown
comes from his fat blood belly.
"I used to be so sexy" he sighs remembering the
good old days.
He looks over at the treadmill, he had saved up
his money for it.

 "Well no time like the present" he slowly stands
up, but quickly sits back down. "Well maybe
tomorrow."
He grabs a handful of chips and stuffs them in
his mouth, crumbs fall over his Blood stained
white shirt. 
His hair long and frizzy, he was a wreck.

His lets out a slight belch, Then takes another
sip of the Blood, It was Cold.
Would it kill her to heat it up in the Microwave,
he growls angrily.

 "Well at least I got my TV."

 "Today on The Jerry Springer show.." Angel
listens closely "Vampires who have affairs with
Teenage Girl then dump them."

 Mr. Trick walks onto the set "Yes, I did it and
I'll do it again."

The audience Boo's, a young girl runs up to the
stage and hits him over the head with a chair.

 "Jerry!! Jerry!!" The audience cheers

Angel cheers along with them "Jerry!! Jerry!!,"
he coughs loudly out of breath "I love this show"


Huh, he senses something awry,
He struggles to move, but his tremendous stomach
is in the way,
He quickly turns his head to the door, and yelps
as the Horrendous Beast Enters.

"Angel, When are you ganna get off your fat ass
and get a job" Buffy yells at him, her voice loud
and  naggy. 

 She slaps Angel over the head as she enters her
bedroom and changes out her waitress uniform, She
returns wearing a baggy pair of Jeans and a Pink
sweater with the words MY HUSBANDS A PIG written
on it.
Age has gotten the best of her, wrinkles surround
her eyes.

 "Hey Honey" Angel says pleasantly

 "Don't you honey me ya, bum" She motions him for
him to scoot over as she takes a seat next to him
"What, you've been watching Springer all day, You
told me you were looking for a job, I can't
support this Family on my own you know"

 Angel seems upset "Well you're the one who
wanted kids"

 "Ya well you told me you couldn't have any" she
grabs the remote from his hands.

 "So I was wrong" Angel groans as Buffy switched
the station over to
The Woman's Channel.

 "Oh good" Buffy seems excited "There doing a
documentary on Uma Therman"
She turns to Angel "You know Uma right"

 "Yes I do" He seems uninterested

 "She was in all those lousy movies in the 9O's,
who would have thought she'd turn around and win
all those Emmy's"

 "Oh yeah, she's something allright" He eyes the
Remote dangling in her hands
"You not what else is something.."

 "What?" asks Buffy

 "The Jerry Springer Show, lets watch that, or
maybe Wrestling, or hey we could watch Cartoons"

 "No, were gone watch this, end of story"

 Angel screams angrily as he switches to his
Vampire face "Do I have NO say in this
relationship"

 "No, you don't, and don't do that, the last time
you got stuck like that, remember?"

 Angel leaps up out of the chair and violently
rips the Cable TV Cable out of the wall. He turns
to Buffy and gives her a dirty look.

"Now that was un-called for" She turns away from
him "I'm not going to talk to you till you say
you're sorry"

 "Honey, don't do this I'm sorry"

 Buffy doesn't budge "You didn't mean that"

 "Yes I did, I'm sorry, I love you"

 Buffy sighs then turns to Angel "I love you too"
she wraps her arms around him, her hands make her
way down to his waste "My god, have you gotten
fat"

 "Allright that's it" Angel screams angrily "I
want a divorce"

 Fine by me "You go ahead" She is just as angry
"I've already been carrying out an affair when
several young Waiters back at the restaurant"

 "What?" Angel is shocked

 "You heard me, Fatso"

 Angel leaps on top of her, then proceeds to
punch her face.
She quickly punches back, they roll around
violently on the couch.

 "Mommy Daddy" A tiny voice calls out

 "The kids" there home "We can't fight in front
of the kids, we'll scar them for life"

 Buffy and Angel stop fighting, they see there
kids have gotten home from school, The littlest
one is named Todd, The older boy is Ryan, the
girl is named 
Joyce, Buffy named her after her dear departed
Mom.
In a town filled with Vampires, she gets killed
after the misuse of a Toaster.

 "Mommy were you fighting with Daddy again?" Todd
asks

 "No of course not Honey" Buffy reluctantly wraps
her arms around Angel
"Were getting along just peachy"

 Angel groans as she kisses him on the cheek.

 Todd smiles and heads up to his room.

 Buffy daughter Joyce approaches her "Mom, I feel
unattractive, my nose is too big for my body"

 "Oh sweetie" Buffy comforts her "Looks aren't
everything, Just ask your fat father"

 Joyce is upset, she looks at her father with
disgust "It's all your fault, why was I stuck
with your genetics"
She runs upstairs.

 "Dad" Ryan sits down next to his father "I met
this girl at school today, I really like her and
I.."

 Buffy smiles "Oh Angel, it's sounds like it's
time to have that talk"

 "What talk?" Angel seems confused

 "You know, The Talk" Buffy whispers in his ear
"Sex"

 "Oh" Angel seems alarmed "Allright, I'll try"

 He turns to his son Ryan "Don't ever have sex,
it's Evil,
You might end up with three lousy kids, that you
can't stand, They suck the life out of you and
make ya fat"

 "Thanks a lot Dad" Ryan runs up to his room
angrily

 "I'm not done yet" Angel talks loudly so he can
hear him "Dump the girl,
She'll just ruin your life someday, Better yet,
you should be Gay, Find a nice guy and settle
down, Woman are Satins creation"

 "Ouch" Angel yelps as Buffy slaps him

 "I swear, Angel, you're an idiot"

They just sit there in silence for a moment,
watching the Documentary.
Then there is a knock on the door, Buffy ignores
it at first.
 
"Hey open up" calls a familiar voice

Buffy quickly realizes who it is, She  jumps up
and opens the door.

"Xander" she greets him

Angel quickly ducks down, so he won't be seen, he
was a slob.

Xander enters their quaint little house. He wears
a sharp looking black tuxedo, She can't help but
notice how good he looks.

"Buffy, nice to see you again" he seems mature
and proper

Buffy quickly offers to take his coat, but he
doesn't seem intent on staying long.

"I just dropped by to say Hi, won't be staying
long"

"Oh please" Buffy begs "We never have company
anymore"

Xander looks around "So where is Angel. I was soo
looking forward to seeing him"

Buffy gazes over to see Angel, hiding behind the
couch, "Um he's not here right now, Long day at
the office"

 "Oh so he got a job" Xander seems surprised

 "Sure, he did" Buffy lies through her teeth "It
was just a matter of time, he gets paid excellent
too"

 "Oh and I was so looking forward to letting him
know there were no hard feelings" He eyes a pile
of food stamps on the counter, then notices the
writing on Buffy's sweater.

 "No hard Feelings?" she asks

 "Nope, as you've probably guesses, I'm over you"

 She seems hurt by his comment, he smiles at her.

 "Well as you know, I have become a famous
Hollywood writer, I am making millions on top of
Millions" Xander admires himself for a moment.
 "Would you like to meet my wife?" Xanders snaps
his fingers and Cordy enters the room, She looks
just as pretty as ever.

 "You Married Cordillia?" Buffy grasps her side
as if in pain

 "That's not all" Xander gloats his voice cocky

 Willow follows Cordy in. She too looks gorgeous,
she smiles at Buffy.

 Buffy looks confused "You Married Willow?"

 Xander lets out a slight laugh "I marries them
both, and that not all"

Faith, Amy, and Larry the Gay schoolyard Bully
join Willow and Cordy, each of them wearing an
equally sparkly ring. They are all just as
gorgeous as ever. Buffy is suddenly very aware of
her looks, She hadn't even combed her hair.

 "He's MY Man" Larry sticks his tongue in
Xander's ear

 "Not now Honey" Xander pushes Larry away

 Buffy looks like she is about ready to cry.
"I'm happy for you" she lies

 "Good, Well if Angel's not here I suppose I'll
just get going"

Buffy follows Xander outside to see him board his
private Helicopter.
Buffy tumbles back as it takes off into the sky,
Buffy sees Faith giving her an in-appropriate
hand gesture as the copter disappears out of
sight.

 Heartbroken, She storms back into the house,
slamming the door behind her.
"You were a mistake" She slumps down next to
Angel on the dirty brown couch.
Angel still cowers below "He's gone"

 Angel sheepishly stands back up, he looks at
Buffy for a moment "I'm sorry"
He is sincere in his words, "Sorry I couldn't me
the man you wanted me to be"

"You not a man" She says her Anger fading,
turning to sadness.

 "I can try" He says his voice a glimmer with
hope

That very night……

 "Did you really mean, what you said earlier"
Buffy asks Angel, she lays beside him in there
bed "Did you mean it?

 "What did I say earlier?" He asks stupidly

 Buffy turns to him angrily "You said you'd try,
try to change"

 Angel tries hard to think back, a bewildered
expression on his face "Was I drunk?"

"Oh never mind, hey wanna make love"

Angel shudders "No, not tonight"

 Buffy is ticked off "Angel I hate you, Ever
since we discovered that the Happiness clause was
not included in the second curse, you have just
been acting all lazy.

 "It was fun the first few times" he reminds her

 "Goodnight" She says sternly as she shuts her
eyes and false asleep.

A chill down his spine Angel sinks into the bed
covers.

 "Angelus…Angelus' there comes a mysterious
Voice, Not Buffy's.
"Angelus…Angelus" Angel cringes as he see the
Jenny Calander A.K.A The First Evil appears out
of the shadows.

 The Powerful Demon approaches his Bedside,
"What do you want?" He asks, he glances over to
Buffy, she is sleeping Peacefully.

 "You will give into your Evil. You will becomes
what are you are meant to…."
The First Evil stops "Well you never listened to
me before, your not going to now" She pulls out a
cigarette and lights it up then takes a smoke "Oh
yeah, that's the stuff"

 She eyes Angel "You see the Springer show,
today, man I love that show, always nice to see
people more screwed up than me"

 "Amen to that sister" Angel high fives his old
enemy.

 Knock…Knock..Knock…… There is a knock on the
door.
"I'll get it" He announces but Buffy quickly
leaps out of bed and makes her way to the door"
He follows her trying not to tip over, his fat
belly bobbing up and down.

 "It's Giles" says Buffy.

 "Giles?" he thinks, "Giles is still alive?"

 "You better believe it Sonny" An aged Giles
wonder into there home, he walks with a cane "I'm
still alive cuz of the miracle of modern
medicine, Just today I turned 107 years young" He
smiles his teeth yellow.

 "Happy Birthday" Buffy says Cheerfully, a little
bit of The Old Buffy resurfaces.

 Her aging watcher Thinks for a moment "Oh yes,
I've come here to tell you something"

 "What's that?" Buffy asks

 "Oh darn I forgot…." He thinks for a moment "Oh
yes, The world is in danger, It's Spike and Dru,
those crazy kids are trying to destroy it again"
He laughs lightly "Just like old times"

"Destroy the World? " She is shocked, we can't
let that happen. She goes into super hero mode
"To the Slayer Mobil"

 "You mean my Mini Van?" asks Angel

 She sighs "Yes the MiniVan"

 There on there way out but Giles coughs loudly,
they turn to him "Mind If I take me pills" Giles
pulls a trash bag of various medicines out of his
Pants Pocket.

 "Sure, There's a sink in the kitchen" Buffy says
one final goodbye before she and Angel rush out
of the house.

 Meanwhile in a the old abandoned Hideout…

 "This is so bloody cool" Spike admires the large
Reptile egg.

 There dwelling is just as they left it, broken
glass covers the floor.
The walls moldy, a fowl smell surrounds the
place. The Giant Green Egg, about the size of
Buffy's room. Rests in a giant straw nest. 

 "What exactly is out plan my dear heart" Dru
asks, she rocks back and fourth on her rocking
chair.

 "Well we have discovered the last remaining
Dinosaur egg, were incubating it and when it
hatches the creature will eat All of Sunnydale"

  "Oh I see" Dru's cackles then rocks back and
forth even harder,

 The chair creeks loudly "Dru would you mind
stopping that, your going to drive me bloody
crazy"

 "Spike" Buffy yells as she busts down the door.

 "Buffy" he is surprised to see her "How the
Bloody hell did you get here so fast"

 "Never underestimate the power of a Minivan"
Angel grows loudly as he runs in after Buffy.
"Your good as dust" 

 Creak Creak, Dru continues rocking.
Spike tries to get the annoying sound out of his
head

 "When that egg hatches.." Spike looks up to his
soon to be monster, "It will destroy the woyld"

 "You mean the World?" asks Buffy

 "Yes, That's what I said the Woyld"

Meanwhile back at Buffy's house…

Giles stumbles out of the kitchen and takes a
seat on the couch.
"Well I finally finished taking all my Pills,
that outta keep me going" he looks down at his
watch. Then waits three minutes "It's time to
take me pills again.
He wanders back into the Kitchen.

Back to the Story………

 Angel and Buffy circle around there old enemies.

 "Dru do something" Spike beckons

 "Hold on let me finish my rocking, pet" Drusilla
rocks loudly, Spike finally loses it and throws
Dru off the chair picks it up and hurls it at
Angel.

 Angel screams as it hits his head, he falls to
the floor lifeless.

Buffy runs over to her husband "Oh no He's been
knocked on Conscious, Talk about DejuVieu"

 "Your too late chickadee" Spike looks over the
egg, A loud shriek is heard as it burst open, the
towering beasts shows it's head, Green scaly and
giant, a deadly combination.

 "No!" Buffy stares terrifies at the creature.

 The beasts looks around the it speaks
"Excellent, I've hatched and just in time too, It
leaps out of its nest and hops over to a nearby
TV. Grabbing the remote, it hits the ON button

 "Today on the Jerry Springer show……"

 Spike slaps himself "If you want something done
right, you gotta do it yourself" He picks up a
large stake. 

 Angel finally comes to he gets up but Spike
tosses the stake at him, it strikes his heart and
he screams in agonizing pain.

 "No!!!!!" Buffy screams as Angel screams and
explodes into ashes.
Buffy falls to her knees in tears. "I loved him"
She weeps loudly her only true love reduced to a
pile of dust.

 "Buffy…Buffy…Buffy..Wake Up" Buffy awakens from
her horrible nightmare to see the Angel she knew
standing over her. "Thank goodness, I thought I
had lost you" 

 She's in her bedroom, she realizes.
"It was a dream" She says cheerfully "It was just
a dream" She admires her young teenage face in
the mirror for a moment "I'm young and you're
cute and it's 1999."

 Angel wraps his arms around her "That must have
been some nightmare you had"

 She turns to her Vampire Boyfriend And kisses
him on the cheek "Yes, but It wasn't real, It
wasn't real"

 There's a knock on the door, then the aged Giles
enters "It's time to take me pills" 

 Buffy looks at him for a moment then
screams……………..

The END

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