Rules:

1) Watch "Married... With Children" (Can be seen Saturday nights 
on the Fox Television Network [first-run episodes], and at various 
times and days[syndicated episodes])

2) Select a category or two from the above list.  Or, alternatively,  
you could select all categories, but I reckon you'd be drunk before  
the 1st commercial break

3) Take a drink (1 drink = normal swallow, gulp, swig, etc) of your
favourite beverage whenever any of the following events in your 
category occurs: 

Enters the house - 1 drink
Puts hand down pants - 1 drink - 2 drinks if he puts his left hand down pants - 3 drinks if he puts both hands down pants
Changes channel with remote control - 1 drink
Sings - 1 drink - 2 drinks if he sings the theme to "Psycho Dad" Says "Big 'uns" - 2 *big* drinks
Says "Let's Rock" - 1 drink - 2 drinks if he says "Let's Something-Else" eg: Let's bowl, let's cook Says "Dodge" - 1 drink
Reminisces about his father and cries - 1 drink
Insults Peggy's family - 1 drink - 2 drinks if he insults someone other than her mother(specific name)
Calls Marcy a chicken - 1 drink
Says "Nudie Bar" - 1 drink
Mentions how he scored 4 touchdowns in a single game - 4 drinks(1 for each TD)
Wishes for death - 1 drink
Mentions John Wayne (The Duke) or a John Wayne movie - 1 drink
Sells a shoe - 1 drink
Insults a fat woman - 1 drink - 2 drinks if he insults a fat woman while not in the shoe store
Says "I am not gay!" - 1 drink
Removes shoes - 1 drink
Removes socks - 1 drink
Removes pants - 1 drink - 2 drinks if he does this and expects to get desired sexually
Removes shirt - 1 drink
Is seen wearing football jersey from Polk High - 1 drink
Falls off roof - 1 drink
Beats up anybody - 1 drink - 2 drinks if it's one of Kelly's boyfriends
Is picking any part of his body - 1 drink
Says "Steeeeeerike!" - 1 drink Says "I love you" - 3 drinks - 5 drinks if he says this to Peggy
Rolls up newspaper and walks to bathroom - 1 drink
Is shown eating - 1 drink - 2 drinks if it's something Peggy cooked
In bed with Peggy - 1 drink - 2 drinks if they are sleeping
Says "TV Guide" - 1 drink
Dreams - 1 drink - 2 drinks if it's a football dream Insults the French - 1 drink
Drinks a beer - Finish off your entire beverage - Don't let Al drink alone

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Comes down stairs - 1 drink
Smoking a cigarette - 1 drink
Eats a bon-bon - 1 drink
Any vibrator inference - 2 drinks
Cooks a meal - 3 drinks (must be shown making the meal)
Does housework - 2 drinks
Changes channel with remote control - 1 drink
Is watching Oprah - 1 drink - 2 drinks for Phil Donahue - 3 drinks for Geraldo - 4 drinks for Richard Bey
Sleeping on couch - 1 drink
When she wakes up In bed with Al - 1 drink - 2 drinks if they are sleeping
Says "Wanker" - 1 drink - 2 drinks if she says "Wanker County" - 3 drinks if she is in Wanker County
Peggy threatens Al with a visit from her relatives - 1 drink The relatives actually visit - 1 drink for each relative (Note: Excluding "Seven" and Peg's parents)
Talking on phone - 1 drink
Wearing a dress - 2 drinks
Steals from Al (shown or referred to) - 1 drink
Steals from the kids (shown or referred to) - 2 drinks
Buys something - 1 drink - 2 drinks if the purchase is actually shown
Shown bowling - 1 drink (for every ball thrown)
Sings or lip-syncs - 1 drink

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Shown in a dress - 1 drink - 2 drinks if it's the Verminator costume - 2 drinks if it's her waitressing outfit Shown in a bathing suit - wipe the drool from your mouth and take 2 drinks
Shown with bimbo friends - 1 drink for every additional bimbo
Shown on TV - 1 drink (only the 1st time in the episode)
Making out with guy on couch - 1 drink
Coming home from a date - 1 drink
Leaving home to go on a date - 1 drink
Uses the wrong word - 1 drink (eg Topeka instead of Eureka) - 2 drinks if the word used is sexual (eg: "The *prostitution* rests instead of "The prosecution rests")
Alludes to the fact that she is not a real blonde - 1 drink
Shown driving (car or motorcycle) - 1 drink
Gets a modelling job - 1 drink (for 1st time mentioned in episode)
Is called "Pumpkin" by Al - 1 drink
Delivers a dumb line, stuttering and hesitant - 1 drink
Puts her head sideways so it rests on someone's shoulder - 1 drink - 2 drinks if that someone is Al
Chases Bud up the stairs - 1 drink
Alludes to seducing a teacher - 1 drink
Dances - 2 drinks when she stops

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Uses a fake name (eg: Bud Bon Jovi) (Note: except "GrandMaster B") - 1 drink
Calls himself "GrandMaster B" - 1 drink (1st time in episode)
Called a twisted derivation of "GrandMaster B" eg: Bed-Wetter B) - 2 drinks
Mentions a "rubber woman" - 1 drink
Mentions any other "fake" date (eg: dressing Buck up like a woman) - 2 drinks
Makes a Budweiser reference - 1 drink
On a couch with a girl - 1 drink
Gets lucky (inferred) - 2 drinks
Gets Kelly in trouble with parents - 1 drink
Gets into a fist fight / gets beat up- 1 drink - 2 drinks if he wins / is winning
Mentions a girl he has a crush on by name - 1 drink
Gets slapped in face by a woman - 1 drink
Chases Kelly up the stairs - 1 drink
Raps - 1 drink
Teaches Kelly some nonsense - 1 drink - 2 drinks if the nonsense is based on television
Rubs his hands - 1 drink
Screams from being thrown or falling - 1 drink

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Any spoken line by Buck/Lucky - 1 drink
each time Buck/Lucky "speaks" (Except episode where he was played by a guy in a dog suit)
Buck/Lucky eats - 1 drink - 2 drinks if it's food meant for Al
Buck/Lucky gets lucky (or alluded to) - 1 drink

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Mentions her woman's group - 1 drink
Requests / demands sex from husband - 1 drink
Talks about her past (eg: mother / sister stories) - 1 drink
Insults Al's hairline - 1 drink
Insults Al's hygiene - 1 drink
Makes fun of Al's sexual prowess - 1 drink
Says (or thinks so we can hear) something sexual about man other than husband - 1 drink
Tells Jefferson to get a job - 1 drink
Shown in bank - 1 drink
Reference to her short hair - 1 drink
Reference to her small chest - 1 drink - 2 drinks if she responds to the effect that Al's chest is larger
Bashes men as a group - 1 drink
Amanda Bearse directs the episode - 1 drink - 2 drinks for short token appearance of Marcy on an episode directed by Amanda Bearse

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Insults Marcy (behind her back) - 1 drink - 2 drinks if it's to her face
Sings (opera, classical music, etc) - 1 drink
Comments about hairline - 1 drink
Shown with a beard - 1 drink
Appears in an episode post-divorce - 1 drink (1st time shown in episode)

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Reference made to his past (Note: excepting Land Scam) - 1 drink
Reference made to Ted McGinley's past acting career - 1 drink
Comment made about his hair -1 drink
Says "Nudie Bar" - 2 drinks
Shown at a job - 2 drinks
Insults Marcy (behind her back) - 1 drink - 2 drinks if it's to her face
Gets injured while working on a foolish project with Al - 1 drink

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"Whoa, Bundy!" - 1 drink - 2 drinks if it's "Whoa, Anything-Else" eg: "Whoa, stealing old ladys' pension cheques!") Members of NOMA'AM shown (wearing NOMA'AM shirts) - 1 drink for each member
A Verducci (Charlie or Vinnie) appears - 1 drink (1st time in the episode)
That Spanish-American newscaster is shown - 1 drink
A toilet is heard flushing - 1 drink
The bum (long haired scruffy looking guy who asks for change)is shown - 1 drink
The name "Habib" is mentioned - 1 drink
The name "Garry" is mentioned - 1 drink
The name "Bob Rooney" is mentioned -1 drink
Al shown playing a sport - 1 drink
The Dodge is shown/heard entering the garage - 1 drink
Another Fox show is mentioned - 1 drink
Fox network is insulted - 1 drink
Another network's show is mentioned - 2 drinks (except for talk shows) Another network is insulted - 1 drink
Any character is electrocuted - 1 drink
A song is played (either on radio, or otherwise) - 1 drink and sing along ("Go with him...")
Any actor from an old sitcom appears - 1 drink - 2 drinks if they were a child actor
Any other celebrity does a guest cameo (not counting Tim Conway) - 1 drink for each guest star - 2 drinks if it's a former sports star Officer Dan arrests Al - 1 drink

Seven dies - finish rest of bottle, go to the liquor store, buy more, party like it's 1999! NOTE: The next one is not for the faint-hearted: The word "shoe" is said - 1 drink

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