The Wolf on the Shepherd-Part II
Willow decides to take on the little bugger. She might need some help from Giles, but this exorcism was going to be her fight. Anyone quoting from one of her favorite books deserves nothing less. She begins to gather up the materials. There wasn’t much time for second-guessing.
The rest of the Scooby Gang and the Science Boyz are in the Grand Hall, where students go to have meals, meetings, and other public functions. The general mood of the group is…of mutual distrust. While Oz and Steve have already become fast friends, the others have been less than cordial. Orson and Buffy have been giving each other dirty looks since their arrival and Harlan has been openly whiny about Xander. Giles shows up just in time before things get ugly. While he has no clue about Wormwood’s deal with the Boyz, he realizes a little slack from both groups would do wonder. The Gang needs some insider help dealing with college life on UCS and the Boyz need ‘four less people thinking them as lunatics’. Willow and Arch show up later. A little color has returned to Arch’s cheeks. Orson is surprised by his sudden recovery. He asks what happened. Arch can’t answer him. Willow does enlighten him about her dealings in aromatherapy and her use of herbs to help deals with aliments such as his…and why she has to continue administering the treatment for the time being. “If you want to stop the vomiting spells, Arch, you’re gonna have do some very strange things with me.” She tells her ‘patient’ as she puts her hand on his shoulder.
Buffy looks at him and says, “I’d trust her if I were you. Not because I’m her best friend, but she’s great with mocha Brain shakes.”
Harlan doesn’t share this view. “Do you seriously believe that crap, Arch? Macrobiotics? Herbal remedies? Is she gonna wave a hunk of meteorite over your naked body smeared in honey and mustard seeds?”
“That’s a great idea, Harlan.” Willow pulls out a notepad and pen from her purse. “Never thought of that before. Let me schedule you for a Tuesday, since Arch has top priority. Maybe it’ll cure you of your attitude problem, eh? How’s that?”
The gag helps break the ice. Giles says, “Look, you all are stuck with each other for the next two weeks. So why not make the best of it? After it’s over, I doubt any of you will be hanging with each other.”
“Speak for yourself, Mr. Giles.” Steve replies. “Me and Oz here are planning a jam session first chance we get.”
“And I want to know what other classics Arch has read.” Willow adds. “I like his taste in literature. I want to be his Book Buddy.”
Giles stares at Harlan and Xander. After a long pause, Harlan gives in and decides to give his ‘Sheep’ another chance. “But you leave your jokes at the door.” He warns.
That leaves the pack leaders, two of the most stubborn screws on campus…if not on Earth. Whatever happens afterwards will be swayed by their word, starting now. The two just look at each other….
Then Buffy reaches out her hand and says, “Let’s give it a go.” Orson shakes on it. For the next two weeks, the Scooby Gang and the Science Boyz were going to be thick as thieves. Just how thick the relationship was going to be would surprise them all for years to come.
Two weeks is a long time in college. Flurries of homework and lectures. The balance of social life and academia. The hunt for work. (While the settlement with the Mayor’s estate and their own scholarships does pay for their books and board, the Gang need jobs to pay for other things. Willow works part-time in the college secretarial staff and weekends at her aunt’s B&B. Buffy falls back on her waitressing skills. Xander has to deal with being a video store clerk. And thanks to Steve’s connections, Oz gets to play his guitar at the Soup’son for a few bucks and all the jelly doughnuts he and whomever he wishes can eat.) During the few quiet moments afforded to them, the Gang learns about the sights, the sounds, the history, and the hysteria that is the University of California-Sunnydale. Though Harlan still persists in calling it Dark Moor. In fact, much of his tour with Xander involves much of its maligned history from its Colonial Spanish times to the present. (This knowledge concerns Giles and he’s supposedly the Professor of Folklore.) Orson shows Buffy some of the most enlightening places like the Octatheater, an octagon-shaped amphitheater where many open-air plays are held as well as the occasional rally and protest.) He also helps her gain the acquaintanceship of several faculty members in the hope of improving her employment to something not involving burgers and fries. Oz and Steve have the time of their lives, checking out the local music scenes, some of the more manageable raves, and some bands looking for new members. Sometimes their tour flirts with danger, but luck and an occasional hasty exit keeps them from harm’s way.
And what of Willow and Arch? Well…an idea of their relationship:
Arch is in the lab, making orders for replacement parts and equipment from the phone with Ogilvy Davis, the school supplies wholesaler (and his cousin-in-law.). He orders a gross of No. #2 beakers, 30 liters or assorted chemicals, five Bunsen Burners, 3 dozen No. #7 vials, and other various items. Harlan and Xander enter the room just as he’s finishing the order.
“…And you’ll thrown in a couple of emergency emersion tanks for free? Great. We’ve been after those since May. Yeah, I remembered what happened. I was there close to Ground Zero, okay? My stomach’s feeling better.” He picks up a thermos bottle, one of Willow’s concoctions. “No, I have been seeing someone about it. She’s into that natural therapy stuff you’ve been griping about. Can’t explain it, but it’s working so I’m not gonna jinx it. She’s a freshman here. I don’t know if she want to go out with me or not. I think she already has a boyfriend. Don’t give me that ‘hope springs eternal’ jazz. I don’t wanna rush things. Willow is a special girl, but there are others. Yeah, I’m counting the chicks on the soccer team too. Look, gotta go now. Make sure the delivery’s after The Rapture Nights end. You know how the frats love to hijack deliveries…well you can figure the rest. Okay, I’ll tell ‘em. They’ll be tickled by the invite. I…don’t know if I’ll be to…but…I’ll try. I’ll try. I’ll try. C’mon, Ogilvy. I have some studying to do. Goodbye.” He hangs up and sees the guys. “Hi. Ah, Harlan. Ogilvy finally installed that Jacuzzi and he’s giving one of his Panty Parties after The Rapture Nights. Figures we need the downtime after our Shepherding duties are done and all.”
Xander light up with lust and glee…until Harlan deflates his Hefner fantasy. “Forget it, Laughing Boy. It’s for Science Boyz and selected friends only. You’ll still on probation.”
“Oh, come on! I’m ready to pop for a college orgy since I’ve (he remembers about the time he tried to crash a frat party in drag to save Buffy and Cordelia from a snake monster…and decides not to mention that moment.)…Heard about these wild Rapture Nights.”
“Xan, all freshmen are prohibited from attending off-campus functions unless it’s of a purely work, family, or religious related requirement for their first month. It keeps them from being distracted. It’s one of Wormwood’s better conceived rules.”
“Harlan,” Arch gives him a very hard and annoyed stare. “There’s no such rule and you know it. You just want me to go to an Ogilvy Bash. And I’m telling ya, I’m not going.”
“Cripes, Arch! You know how long Ogilvy’s been pressing us to bring ya along? He’s your family. He’s concerned about your welfare. He wants you to meet women.”
“I can meet women right here, just as fun and frisky and scantly clad as the girls at some of his parties.”
“That’s one of the things we want to talk to you about, Arch.” Xander butts in. “There’s been talk about you and Will.”
“Well, I’m her Shepherd. We’ve been to a few places together after class, purely on a social level. I mean, we had a few laughs and all, but it hasn’t got hot and heavy.” He points to the thermos. “And you know she’s been concerned about my health since we first met. The potions she makes for me are merely a courtesy for helping her with life here. Nothing more.”
“That’s not what we’ve heard. Was she in your room two days ago?”
“Yeah. She wanted to discuss some alternative treatments since the stuff she’s been using hasn’t been packing much punch anymore. I had an episode before and she thought the disease was becoming resistant. I said okay and she came by with a few things. A massage mat, some incense, some other stuff. Why you asking me this?”
“Steve…saw you naked. On the floor. Coated in some yellow gunk that looked like honey or something and you had pins sticking out of you.” Xander looks embarrassed as Harlan stifles a laugh. “What’s with you?”
“Sorry, hoss. I just know Arch a lot longer than you do and I’ve seen him in stranger spots. Like he once showered with the girls soccer team and cheerleading squad.”
“But…Will was naked too. Painted like an Amazon, with bells on her fingers and…well, I was shocked.”
“Look, man.” Arch exclaims. “Willow was nude for my benefit. She told me I had to take off my clothes so she could use some special massage formula she made. I said I felt funny about it and told her about my little run-in in the girls’ shower. She understood, so…she…stripped. She did a few pirouettes like a ballerina, joked about being the White Swan in ‘Swan Lake’ when she was in kindergarten, and said something about having no shame about being naked with someone in a non-sexual way. Then she pulled out a sketchbook and some body paint. She told me…to finger-paint some designs on her body. Something about getting acclimated to her touching me by me touching her or some damn nonsense. I told her again about the chemical accident and she just put her finger on my lips to shut me up and told me to paint her. It was…kinda fun. I felt relaxed. We even joked about re-acting that scene from ‘Titanic’ when Kate Winslet was naked for Leo to do that portrait in the Drawing Room and she said something about doing something like that before for someone long ago. I didn’t catch the rest of what she said. I was too busy being Picasso. I did the designs she asked for in order and afterward, I felt okay being around Willow…like that, so I said, ‘Okay, my turn.’ I took off my clothes and she pulled out the oil and…some special glitter or powder or whatever that stuff and…she did a good job. There was no…cracks about my…manhood. She said she didn’t care much about it, since she dug guys who had good hearts like Oz and she seemed happy. Then she pulled out the acupuncture needles. Kinda freaked at first, but she assured me it was part of the procedure and not to fret over it. Hell, I couldn’t even move! She whispered some words I couldn’t figure out, something Greek or Romanian or Chinese, and stuck the needles on my forehand and my chest and my hands and my stomach. And then she gets out these bells. She said she could see me being still freaked out about my nakedness so she was gonna entertain me. For my benefit. And she starts doing this dance and chanting and God know what else. I think it was singing. I was too busy watching Willow. Anyway, it was…innocent fun. Nothing freaky.”
Harlan just looks at him with his best disappointed face and says, “That’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard. Even from you, that tops them all. I mean, Cripes man! If it came from anyone else but Steve, I’d kick their ass. Hell, if Wormwood or someone else but Steve saw that…?”
“How the hell did he see Willow anyway?”
“He had a package for you that got sent to his mailbox by mistake. He decided to go to your room and drop it at your door. He noticed it was unlocked, figured you were already in and walked right inside. Willow didn’t see him, or at least he said she didn’t notice him. But man, he couldn’t stop talking about it to Xander and me. The hell kind of cure is she doing? The Guccione Method?”
“Hey, back off! I know she’s a little unorthodox and all, but…”
“A little?” Xander looks at him really odd and very angry. “And when would the lapdance come in? Before the sponge bath?”
Harlan elbows him in the chest. “Don’t be rude, Xander. If Arch says it was simply therapy, who are we to question? It’s only Willow’s methods and she’s his Sheep.” He then looks at Arch. “You know, man. You could ask her to have Buffy as an assistant and do it again. You know fake something about an emergency and when they’re doing their thing, I could…sneak in and see the show. Always wanted to be a Peeping Tom by consent. How about…?”
Arch garbs the nearest book and throws at him. He and Xander dive for cover and the book hits the door. “I don’t believe your gall, buddy! I’ve been puking half my guts out for the past eight months and now I found someone whose help finally does some good and you think it’s a kinky sex act. You git! I’d wish Buffy were here to kick you ass. Hell, I’ll kick you ass for her right now!”
He gets up from his chair runs towards the two wise guys still kneeling on the floor. Only the sudden and well-timed arrival of Buffy and Willow keeps Arch from getting his pound of flesh…or getting his own ass kicked. Willow restrains the fury while Buffy uses her usual flair and finesse by pinching Harlan and Xander’s ears and forcing them on their feet. “Now what are you guys fighting about and why should I not bitch-slap you for being boys?” she says her sweet tone cutting deeper than her icy stare.
After a few re-caps from all involved, Willow joins her friend in chewing out the hapless pair. “How dare you, Harlan, to question my methods and the way I’m helping poor Arch with his ailment. Which is, for your information, none of your business. If I have to do anything like put leeches on his chest or tattoo Egyptian symbols on his forehead or even God forbid sleep with him just so he will never have another attack, I’ll do it and you have no right whatsoever to condemn my actions. What we did was by consent, me buckoo, which means it stays between us. Not the whole damned campus! Are we clear?” She turns her action to Xander. “And you of all people should know I wouldn’t do such thing like that without consulting Oz first. We’ve worked hard developing trust in our relationship and I wouldn’t jeopardize it over a little thing like…calming someone’s fear of being naked with a woman even if it’s for a therapeutic massage. We both talked long and hard about it before I decided to do my little ‘private dance recital’ for Arch. It was MY decision.” She finally looks at Arch. “Why don’t you tell them what happened after Steve left before I could explain it to him? I’m sure Twiddledee and Twiddledumbass will LOVE to hear it.”
“How did you know Steve was in the room?” asks Harlan.
Willow walks to Arch’s side. ‘Woman’s intuition. We know when you’re peeking at us when we’re showering or goofing with someone for their benefit.” She winks at Buffy. She had to stifle a giggle. Willow then looks at Arch with playful anticipation. “Well?”
Arch bites his lip. “Well…about five minutes after the dance was over and the needles were removed, I took a shower. Willow threw on a robe she had in her bag and told me she’d bathe after I was finished. After my bath, I was putting on some clothes when Oz came in. Willow let him in while I was dressing. He asked how we were and how the treatment went. Willow kissed him and said things went well and that I was a perfect patient. She even kissed me on the cheek…which kinda caught me off-guard, but I enjoyed the sentiment.” He looks her and Willow blushes a rosy pink. “As I finished putting on my shoes, I’d ask them if they wanted anything and…well, the way Oz looked at Will with all that body paint on and all. I took the hint, told them about a 12-pack of root beer and leftover cheesecake in the fridge and not to worry about where I’d sleep since I had to deal with a few things at the lab and I’d crash there. Last thing I heard when I left was the sound of her robe being tossed aside and hitting my brass bell stand and…a lot of giggling. And I locked the door behind me.”
Harlan and Xander just stand there, dumbfounded. They had thought of one thing and found out it was something else. They feel…stupid. Very stupid. “See?” Buffy scolds them. “This is what happens when your hormones do the thinking. I hope you two learn something from this.”
“There’s one other thing I’d like to add.” Arch replies and looks at Willow. “You and Oz left a ring around the bathtub.”
Willow blushes again. “Sorry about that. I guess we got…a little carried away. Root beer, cheesecake, and body paint have that effect on me.”
“It’s all right. You paid for the drinks. We even.”
Willow then stares down the pair of jokers. “Do you two jerks have anything to add to the conversation?” Her arms fold up and her look is that of the stern parent, the disappointed teacher, the cheated-on lover. Buffy adds her glance to the mix, expecting them to say the one thing that would bring closure to the mess.
Harlan licks his lips. “We’re…sorry. For doubting your word. Both of you, Will. Arch.”
“And?” they said simultaneously.
Xander hangs his head in shame. “We…won’t do it again. We’ll check out the source before we jump the gun on Arch and you.”
Willow claps her hands in triumph. “There now. That wasn’t so bad, was it? I feel cleansed now. How about we celebrate with dinner, eh? My treat. Figure a good slice of pepperoni-onion would be wonders right about now.”
“Sorry, Will. We’ll have to take a raincheck. C’mon, Harlan.” Xander motions his friend. “Didn’t we have to check out that spot in the park where the bloodstain never comes off?”
‘Wha? Oh, yeah. Right. Ah…see ya later, guys. I’ll take ya up on that pizza another time, Willow.” The two scuttles off, tails between their legs and a little more humble now than whey they came in.
Buffy, Arch, and Willow just stand around. They don’t say much of anything for a minute or two. Then….”Cripes, Willow.” Arch unscrews the thermos cap. “Sometimes I think you’re the most scariest woman I know.”
Willow cocks her head. “Am not. That’s Buffy’s job.”
Buffy smiles at the compliment. “Well, thank you. As if my social life didn’t have enough going against it already.”
“Hey, if there’s anyone who’s gotta complain, it’s me.” Arch pours the contents into a cup. “I mean, I’m in the presence of two beautiful women and what am I doing? Drinking herbal tea instead of wooing them.”
Buffy looks over his shoulder. “Will, why is your hand on his ass?”
Arch jumps out of his seat, almost choking back on some of the tea in a panic. He glances at Willow and finds her hands had never left the table. She laughs hysterically over the prank. “Now cut that out! I’m a sick man, remember?”
“Oh yeah. Painting each other for stomach relief is very sick indeed. You might think of locking the door the next time Willow does another set of The Dance of the Seven Paints.”
“I was thinking the next time we do it in your dorm room, Buffy. I figure with all the charms and crystals…”
Willow waves her hands in disagreement. “I’d think we’ll stay with herbal remedies for now on. My dancing dances are officially over.”
Buffy shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe you could teach me some of those moves, Will. I could use the exercise.” She pats on her sculpted stomach, well toned and muscled from years of Slaying and chasing the undead. “I’m not that bashful about my body and…I always wanted to have a man paint on my body. What do you think, Arch? You wouldn’t mind making our own ring in the bathtub, huh?” Her mischievous smile betrays her joke on him. Willow starts to laugh again, the tension and the anger melting away like bad brown snow. Arch shakes his head in disbelief, and then joins in. This was therapy more to his liking.
It’s now the final days of the Science Boyz’ Shepherding. All is well to an extent. Their charges haven’t caused too much trouble. Dean Wormwood is pleased with their progress. (Though he’s busy with other concerns, such as The Rapture Nights the time where the frats and the sororities pledge in new members…and a rash of sudden disappearances of some of the students.) Arch’s stomach seems to have calmed down considerably, though he still feels discomfort. (Obviously, the demon senses some major happens and is gathering its strength.) Steve and Oz have done a few gigs and have begun making headlines on the school paper. Willow, Buffy, and Xander have also made new friends and this helps change the rep of the Boyz.
Well, almost…
The Gang are having a get-together at the local pub when the ‘almost’ happens. They’re drinking soft drinks (except for Harlan and Orson who are having beers and Arch who’s enjoying a fresh cup of herbal tea from the packets Willow gave him.) and making plans for The Rapture Nights and Mid-Terms. Harlan is just happy to have the lab back in business. “Finally get that experiment in methane rocket fuel off the ground.” He muses. It’s the main reason for all the new equipment (and what got the Boyz in trouble in the first place.). When hard pressed to explain they’re doing the Shepherding deal instead of their experiments, Orson answers, “It was our turn to do volunteer work on the campus. We were overdue.”
“Volunteer work, my ass!”
Everyone looks up to find the owner of the gruff voice. They don’t have to go far. He’s right near their table. “Oh, God! It’s Carl!” someone cries.
Carl Puhl. Six and one-eighth feet of trouble. Your typical, muscled bound, stereotype of the college jock. Except he has an actual 3.75 GPA without cheating or short-changing his intellect, a trust fund, the Presidency of Gamma Delta Gamma the best of all the frats around, and the captaincy of the lacrosse team. Still, he causes trouble for no reason but his own pleasure.
“Didn’t they kick him out of here last month for that drinking game? The one that sent three people to the hospital?” Arch asks, paler than usual now. He is the favorite of Carl’s…attention.
“When you got a pile of cash, a father with influence, and a pair…you’re not out on your ass for long.” Harlan answers.
Carl walks towards the Gang’s table. His grin is of the shark, but the attitude behind it is more of a bullying leech. He enjoys his work, of giving grief to those weaker than himself. And his favorite targets…The Science Boyz and especially Arch. Without them, without his plaything Arch; Carl’s life is a shallow existence. And learning about their secret deal with Wormwood has just made his day complete.
“The real reason,” he says, almost singing it like a schoolyard rhyme. “Why they’re not in their little world is they damn near blew it up and most of the campus with it. Lucky for us, it was more a stink bomb than an H-bomb. But, the Dean feels they ought to be on a short leash. So…”
“So what?” Steve growls. “We’ve been good. You haven’t. Now just piss off. We’re having fun here.”
The verbal sparring builds up from there. Put-downs, and insults and other nonsense fly through the air. It’s a stalemate…until Carl notices Willow and Arch together. BOOM! “Well, well, well. Arch finally got a girlfriend. Guess those rumors about you being a fruit weren’t all true after all.”
“Especially since you started them.” Arch tries to keep a brave front in spite of his weaken condition.
Carl ignores him completely. He sees fresh meat now, someone Arch cares for and it’s almost feeding time. “So, sweet thing. How did you meet up with this geek? You cousins or something? Dropouts of Inbreeders Anonymous? Did his mamma set you up? Maybe you are just as bi as she is.”
Oz, angry and ready to kick ass, starts to get up. Steve persuades him to sit back down. “Don’t do it, hoss. Carl is our problem. And he’ll put ya in the hospital without breaking a sweat.”
The Shark just smiles again. His white teeth are a little too white and close for comfort. “Good call, wimp. Don’t want Wormwood to expel you while you’re in Intensive Care. It would be so humiliating.”
“Funny.” Harlan retorts. “I always thought being in your frat was humiliation enough. Or was just dating you?”
Willow, Arch and the rest try to keep themselves from giggling. They almost succeed.
Carl shoots some fire down Harlan’s way. “Cute. You got a lotta stones to say that…since you used to be a Gamma.”
“For about three months. Before I threw you out of my frat room because you wanted me to do some pissant task at three in the morning after I busted my chops at school and need the sleep. Only…I threw you out from the window, as I remember. Course, I had colds that were more enjoyable. But that day…”
“You had a lucky toss, little man. It won’t happen again.”
“I had a Marine for a father who taught me self-defense and a low tolerance for ass-wipes like yourself. Wanna make it two for two? I don’t think they have shatterproof glass installed here. Let’s test it, shall we?”
“Don’t do it, Harlan.” Pleads Orson. “He wants a fight. We can’t afford a fight. Let’s not fight.”
“Hey, tough guy.” Xander joins in. “Why don’t you kick sand in someone’s else face? We’re just chilling here under the stars and listening to the…”
“Did I say you could speak…chump?” Those teeth show up wider and whiter as Carl grabs a handful of Xander. “No freshman speaks to a Gamma without being spoken to. Seem I’ve gotta teach you a lesson in manners. You’re gonna clean the floor with your tongue after I’m…”
Buffy cuts the sentence off by grabbing a handful of Carl by the wrist and twisting his arm behind his back…HARD! Intense pain frees Xander from certain doom. Intense pain also brings tears to the Shark’s eyes. “How about some lessons from me for a change, eh? Civics lesson, for one. The part about the First Amendment and the freedom of assembly. I love that part very much indeed. Especially when my friends are concerned. How’s your history, tough guy? Remember FDR’s Four Points? The thing about Freedom from Fear and Want? As in, I want you to leave us alone before I have to remember my first aid lesson on how to re-attach a dislocated shoulder. And my fear of forgetting just how it supposed to go. I don’t want to ruin your big chance at sexual self-fulfillment because I botched up my Nightingale routine. ” She is smiling now and almost no one envies her.
Harlan’s eyes are saucers and plates over this. “Looks like I’m not the only military brat in this happy group?” He smiles, wondering when he’ll get to do some teaching.
Orson, on the other hand, is sweating bullets. That one mistake Wormwood warned him about is unfolding right in front of his face. And he has only seconds to save their ass. “Buffy, I think Carl gets the point now. Let him go. We’re leaving.”
“Sorry, Shepherd. But today, I’m the teacher’s assistant. Rather like the Ms. Manners of the bar brawl. You can lead the others to greener pastures, but I like it here.”
“Then you may have to modify the lesson plan, schoolmarm. Because his friends just got up.”
Buffy looks over her shoulder. Four burly no-necks chiseled from stone are standing a few steps from her, at the ready of their Master’s call. From their steely glance, she knows these boneheads have no qualms about hitting girls…especially those who are twisting their leader’s arm into funny shapes. She knows she can take them all on easily without too much trouble, but that would mean exposure. And what if the others decide to join in? She couldn’t have them risk injury and expulsion. The odds are not in her favor today. So, she gives Laughing Boy a good shove to the ground. Carl lands on the floor…HARD!
“Class dismissed, young man. Just don’t ask for extra credit. The pop quiz is a killer.”
Carl gets up and dusts himself off. The grin returns, much to everyone’s dismay. “Oh, baby. You just made my list of things to do before graduation. Fixing you will be fun.”
Buffy gives a smile of her own. “I don’t think you’re man enough for the task, little boy. And beside I’ll be busy with other things like studying and homework and doing my nails and calling you mother long distance to tell you not to expect you home for Christmas because the doctors are too busy removing your head from your ass.”
He can’t believe it. He’s being out-shined by a girl and a freshman to boot! Carl is ready to settle accounts right here and now…when the bartender shows up, hand full of riot stick. A tap on the table reminds everyone just who really is in charge.
“Carl, I warned you once too often. Now you and your freak frat ain’t welcome here anymore. You come back, you’re going out in cuff, son.” The barkeep proclaims his sentence loud and clear; just like Heston did Moses. “Orson, I think you and your friends better leave first. I’ll make sure you get a twenty-minute head start. I don’t want a static on my parking lot, you hear?”
“My feeling exactly.” Arch gets up from his seat. The rest follow his lead. Buffy, Orson and Harlan bring up the rear for cover. All Carl and his boys can do is grit their teeth.
“Hey, Buffy. It ain’t over. Not by a long shot.” Carl points his finger straight into her heart.
Willow has had enough. She gives a long hard stare at the overhead sprinkler system and
*PUSHES!*
And Carl and his friends are treated to a sudden surprise shower. Waves of water come crashing down their heads. All the customers break out into uncontrollable laughter. Willow smiles and enjoys her handiwork. “Know something, Carl? You’re all wet. Just cool it, y’hear?”
Xander groans, “You had to say that, didn’t you?” The Gang makes a very quick exit as Carl stews in the indoor rainstorm. His grin never leaves his face for the rest of the evening.
Later on, he and his boys decide on a course of action most appropriate for the occasion. He doesn’t bother to notice the absence of a couple of his frat brothers. They said something about getting a couple kegs of beers and some broads for The Rapture Nights Climax and haven’t come back yet. They didn’t bother to check the ladies’ credentials before they went missing. If they had, they would’ve noticed the ladies’ last place of residence was Sunnydale and that they were legally declared dead about a year or so ago. When their bloodless corpses were found and then conveniently misplaced at the morgue on orders from one ‘Mr. Trick’ who needed a few extra eyes on the streets for Mayor Wilkins. Who now serve as eyes for another…’Mistress’.
Funny how things always come back to Ol’ Snake-Eyes Wilkins.
And funny how some people can carry grudges to extremes…even by vampire standards. Deep in the sewer system under the UCS campus and away from prying eyes and sunlight, an unholy covenant is forming. Some of these ‘men’ are the surviving lackeys of Mayor Wilkins, eager for some payback. Others, like the newly turned frat boys, are recent additions. And in the center of it all…The Mistress of The House. Planning, coordinating, marshaling her forces for the Big Day tomorrow. The end of The Rapture Nights and The Big Party. Where students and faculty will be too busy chugging beer and making small talk to notice a few gatecrashers…until the screaming starts. Her followers are most loyal to her whims and very anxious to pleasure her. She will allow them much liberty tomorrow night and they will feast well indeed. BUT…they will not, must not, CAN NOT take the lives of the Slayer and her immediate friends. They are for The Mistress’s enjoyment ALONE. They can be roughed up, given a broken arm or leg, but that’s all. They must not die and they must not have a bite mark anywhere on their bodies. The Mistress is very insistent, very strict about that rule. Her punishments against those who would dare cross her are most lavish and memorable. She hasn’t lasted this long by being kind hearted or careless. Those troublemakers who might have given her grief…are in no condition to task her now. It is the way of her rule and the lesser vampires had accepted it long ago.
The Mistress is now sitting on her throne, a discarded prop from some long forgotten drama club. Her back is facing the door, a slip-up that would have meant death to any other vampire. But her’s the charmed life. On her lap is an open book. Pages are torn in places. The front cover and bidding are burnt at the edges. Some of the ink scribings have been smudged by water damage. But still, it’s lovingly tended to by its owner. She pays particular attention to one page, its contents burning into her brain with an unholy obsession. She couldn’t get all of them, she had accepted that possibility long ago, but the main players who should suffer for her fall…they are here. And she will take her vengeance on them before it’s over. She caresses a picture on the page with her finger lovingly…hatefully.
“Vacuous tramp, eh?” she whispers. “We’ll see, bitch. We’ll see.”
The picture’s caption says it all:
WILLOW ROSENBERG
The book’s cover says it all:
SUNNYDALE HIGH ’99
The future is ours.
And the Mistress…her face is cloaked in the shadows. Hidden even from her subjects. She doesn’t like to show her face until the moment is right. When she has them all in her grasps, begging for their lives. She won’t disappoint them…at least until the screaming starts.
The Main Event of The Rapture Nights has arrived! All the freshmen that had pledged to a frat or a sorority have done their tasks, paid their dues, suffered through their rites. Now it’s time for them to be accepted and to party. Of course, such nonsense is not of a high priority for some people. Buffy has spurned every invitation from most of the elite sororities; her ‘night job’ would have been a hindrance to any function she would have to attend. Willow too ignores them, since her involvement with her studies and Arch’s condition has consumed much of her free time. On the other hand, Xander has tried to get pledged…and has failed, failed, failed! (Obviously, he was never cut out to be a fratter.) And Oz…tonight is a full moon. He has to be somewhere else tonight…some place safe for everyone’s sake.
The Science Boyz have concerns of their own. Tonight is the last night of their Shepherding duties. And Wormwood himself will be on the grounds making sure they don’t screw up. “Can’t believe the nerve of that clown.” Harlan gripes with his fellow Boyz as they walk across the Campus Park. “ ‘I’ve the expulsion papers in my pocket, ready and waiting.’ Yeesh! If he’s trying to be hip, he oughta get better material than from the Bowrery Boys collection.”
Arch doesn’t care about that right now. His stomach has started to act up again, the tea and the herbal medicines seem to be wearing off at an alarming rate. When the Boyz meet up with the Gang on an outside table, he voices his concern. “I hope I can make it beyond the Party tonight. I owe Willow a dance.”
“Ah, reality check, old boy.” Xander cuts in. “But is she or is she not Oz’s baby?”
Willow jabs him in the ribs. “You’re forgetting Oz has…important school work to do. Work that requires his undivided attention. Since he can’t go out tonight, Arch will be my escort. He asked me nicely, knowing about Oz’s little blight and since I wanted to blow off some steam after dealing with some heavy- duty computer work, Oz gave his blessing. Arch will pay him back by helping him with his research paper in Chemistry.”
“Such a gentlemen.” Buffy strokes Arch’s hand. “Hope you have room on your dance card for someone else. I feel like busting loose too.”
“Buffy, he’s my date for the evening.” Willow looks at her with mock playful jealousy. A hint of a smile shows her mischief. She put her hand on Arch’s shoulder. He starts to feel a little nervous about this, but figures it’s not spiteful
“Well…doesn’t mean you can’t share him. It’s not like he’s an one-woman man.” Buffy’s finger now caresses his chin. She’s in on the joke too, but it’s the playful kind of prank. Not the type Carl does to injury, but the type some girls do to give guys like Arch a boost in their badly-deflated egos…especially when they’re feeling a bit under the weather.
“Oh, boy.” Xander snickers. “You’re gonna be the man tonight, Arch. Two women willing to fight for your…” Willow once again jabs some sense into his chest. “Ow! What’s that for?”
She takes her hand off of Arch and glares at her former first flame. “For being rude.”
Buffy giggles. “We both know Arch is having a hard time dealing with his stomach trouble and what happened to the pub last night. Since he’s helped Will adjust here, we’ve figured he deserves some fun. The ‘no fooling around’ fooling around kind, okay?”
“Couldn’t have picked a better candidate.” Steve jokes. “Arch’s style with the ladies is old fashioned. Almost obsolescent. In fact, he’s still…” Arch cuts him off by kicking him in the shins. He rubs it from the pain. “Hey! The hell I do, man?”
“You talk too much. There are some things you do not tell people. Things you can’t say to them because it would change their perspective about you that you may not like. Buffy and Willow have their secrets. I have mine. I wouldn’t want them to share theirs with me unless they felt absolutely secure of themselves and me. I mean, some of us have things they want to keep private.”
Willow bites her lip. “You know, Arch, sometimes you have to tell your secrets when friendship or a life is at stake. Buffy and I have been through a lot and there’s not much we don’t know of each other.”
“Meaning?”
“Oh, uh.” Harlan rolls up his eyes. “This is where she tells us they’re actually sisters.”
The table breaks into laughter. Willow has to wipe off a tear. “No. Wish it were. I’d be proud to have her as sister. But, sorry that’s not it. The secret I want Arch and you two guys to know is I’m a…”
Three sets of bleeper alarms simultaneously go off, cutting her confessional short. Arch, Steve, and Harlan check their coms. Arch looks at the message and says, “Conference.”
“Crap.” Harlan stomps his foot down. “Just when it’s getting good, too.”
“Conference?” Buffy is puzzled. “Wha? Is it a conference for all of us?”
“Sorry, Buff.” Steve shakes his head. “This is strictly Science Boyz business. You’re not invited. We’ll pick up this conversation later.”
Harlan adds, “Yeah. We’ll bring some wine over and play ‘Truth or Dare’. “ The Boyz start to gather themselves and leave the table. Arch waits for a minute. He wants to stay, to ask Willow what was her secret. He wants to become a part of her world as she has become a part of his. But…his loyalty it with his friends, the ones he started out with in the beginning. He touches Willow’s chin and kisses her. This takes her by surprise, almost to the point of slapping him for taking such an advantage. He then turns to Buffy and kisses her as well, with a little more passion. Buffy is surprised as well. He apologizes to both of them and hurries off to his buddies. Even they are taken aback.
“What the hell was that?” Harlan yells at Arch.
“Don’t ask. I just felt like it.”
“I hope next time you check you feeling at the door, pal. They might take it the wrong way.” The Boyz then hurry off of their rendezvous.
Buffy and Willow are stunned by the action. Xander is half-impressed, half-freaked. “Are you two leading him on?” he asks, his eyes wide as saucers at Roswell.
They both glare at him and say, “NO!”
But in the their minds…they wonder if perhaps it’s time to tell Arch where the boundaries were and if maybe they should sever their relationship before someone gets hurts.
The Boyz walk to the kennel area of the Zoology Department, where live animals are sometimes kept for study and occasional re-hab from a hit and run. Within the compound is a separate area, away from the other animals, where the School Mascot calls home. Orson is there, with a concerned look on his face and a note in hand. Seems someone wants to kidnap the puppy again for the traditional Rapture Night gag. Only…they’re trying to pin it on the Science Boyz and this time, there are darker motives to the madness. The talk is short, sweet, and to the point. Operation: Switch ‘N’ Sting comes to being: Someone keeps the Mascot in their dorm room, safe and sound, while a substitute pooch is used. A hidden camera, loaded and ready, records the kidnapping. The tape is then quickly analyzed and set to the proper authorities before any mayhem erupts and the preps get theirs. Simple. Only who’s gonna doggie-sit?
Oz and Giles find Buffy, Willow, and Xander brooding over something. They assume it’s about the upcoming full moon and where Oz will be shacking up for the night. Renting a dog kennel is out of the question. (Dogs despise the scent of the werewolf. They will attack one even in human form when the full moon is close at hand on sight.) And they can’t drug him for the entire three nights. Willow fills them in on what happened and her concerns about Arch’s real feelings. Giles suggests talking to him before going to the big bash tonight. “It’s probably nothing. “ He assures him. Oz wonders if the demon is assuming control and if Arch may not know what he did. (The Gang knows about Arch’s true condition by now, Xander being the last to learn of it.) Giles disagrees. It’s not manipulating him. It’s FEEDING off him. And if they can’t find a way to exorcising it from his body by the end of tonight…the life expectancy of everyone on campus will be measured by seconds.
“Great.” Willow moans. “Another round of demon ass-whooping. I wouldn’t mind it so much if it were just a plain old Ascension. But Arch…he’s a…”
“He has to know.” Giles pleads. “And unfortunately you’ll have to tell him this too. I know he may have a crush on you, but…”
“I know. Either deal with a lovesick puppy or bloodthirsty spawn of Hell. Buffy, you have experience with men with time bombs in their souls. Do you have any advice?”
Buffy just shrugs. “Great.” Willow massages her face in utter exhaustion. “And I thought dating in the normal world was a bitch. Hope you got those Latin texts ready, Giles. I’m gonna need them before all this is over. Trying to do an exorcism in the buff wearing body paint wouldn’t work this time. This crowd might think it’s the entertainment.”
“Well,” Xander tries to lighten the mood. “You could have a future as an exotic dancer.” The joke falls flat.
The air suddenly fills with cheers, yells and whistles. Orson and Steve are walking the Mascot, a huge hairy sheepdog who looks like he had a bath at the first Woodstock. His collar is a ghastly sight, the color of weathered gold plating with cheap red rhinestones. Still, the kids love the mutt because he has a charm about him…and that he never had taken a dump on the campus grounds for anyone to step in.
One look at the dog and Willow’s heart melts into a puddle. Buffy starts laughing uncontrollably. Xander’s jaw drops about five feet to the ground. Oz takes a few steps back to keep his scent from being noticed while hiding a smirk. And Giles’ Proper English College Professor façade goes into overdrive as the two Science Boyz follow the dog’s lead to the Scooby Gang.
Willow stoops down to give the Mascot a well-deserved ear scratch. “Oh, he’s adorable.” Her smile is ear to ear…even as she starts to notice just how aromatic the mutt is as he licks her face. “Why does he smell so bad?”
“Mr. Adorable got cute on us and made a private trip to the dumpster before we caught him.” Steve answers, as he stands downwind of the smell. “We’re taking him for a bath before his little tour of the campus tonight.”
Willow’s face turns about three shades of pink. Her eyes start watering slightly and she starts shooing the dog away as she gets up to fan herself. The Mascot whines a little, but in his canine logic, he understands the reason for her sudden withdrawal. This makes Buffy laugh even harder.
Willow gives her best friend a wounded look. “Oh, you’re some help, Buffy. I feel…ugh!” she continues to fan her, trying to lose the smell. Oz keeps his distance from the dog. Not because of the garbage smell, but in fear of his own scent enraging the Mascot. Luckily for him, the mutt is too interested in Willow to notice any other scents. “What’s his name, Steve?” he asks.
“Flatull.”
Buffy calms down, tears running down her face. “Interesting name. Why do you call him that?”
And right on cue…that ol’ too familiar sound and that ol’ too familiar smell. It’s the sound of a balloon deflating in a pool of pudding. The Gang has to take a few steps back to avoid the brunt of it. Giles is fanning himself now. “Amusing title. Glad you hadn’t called him ‘Dia’.”
“Yeah. Would’ve made a cute girl’s name.” Xander coughs.
Steve and Orson are doing the fan too. They had the bad luck of being at Ground Zero. “Man, Steve!” Orson screams. “I thought we changed his diet a couple weeks back. This is worse than ever.”
“You know Flatull loves midnight snacks. And who knows what stuff the kids have been feeding him.”
Orson makes his apologies and motion his partner in crime to Flatull to the dog groomer’s. “Have to make him presentable. He’s gonna be out all night and then he has to go with the football team in the morning. The dog’s about the only reason the students here show up at the games. You’ll see him again at the party.”
The two leave, with Flatull in tow wanting to stay with the Gang and especially Willow. Her scent intrigues him. Steve has a hard time convincing the mutt to go. When they are safely away from the group, he asks, “You think they bought it?”
On to Part III
