the Wolf on the Shepherd
Harlan suggests a direct frontal assault. Come in storming, take out Carl, and threaten his gonads unless he releases ‘Flatull’. Giles immediately vetoes this idea. It would only make him look like the victim and his boys would beat them to pulp in self-defense.
Arch has a better plan. “Since Giles is faculty, he can go thru the front door without arousing Carl’s suspicions. Besides, his name is not on the note. Carl must figure he can be helpful for his career later on. Jerk never picks a fight with teachers. Wouldn’t be healthy for his trust fund.”
“That’s it?” Harlan whispers. “You call that a plan?”
“Well…there’s more to it.” Arch looks at Willow. Suddenly, the gang starts getting the general idea. Sort of.
A few minutes later, Giles walks to the Gamma House front door. There are a couple of bouncers at the ready, keeping out the riffraff or at least the uncool people. The bouncers are actually from the student body, so they know they must him entrance if he asks for it.
“Gentlemen.” Giles gives his best greeting. “How goes the party?”
The first boy gives his report: A few rowdies, some drunkenness, one or two quick tosses for those who’d disturb…
Loud, rambunctious laughter fills the air. The three turn to look and…it’s Willow and Arch. Arm to arm, giggling like lovesick drunks. Hell, maybe they are drunk. Willow’s hair is in disarray, the Hello Kitty hairpin missing in action. Arch’s shirt is half-tucked in and a bit of his underwear is showing. There’s lipstick on the face, sweat on their skin and the smell of sex in the air. The bouncers and Giles are…stunned.
And the kids are still laughing, without a care in the world. Willow doesn’t even notice her bra-strap is showing. Neither does Arch for that matter. He notices the House, though.
“Ah, sanctuary!” He yells. “We is dere.”
“Dis be da place.” Willow’s grin is wide enough to swallow a sub…and an aircraft carrier to boot. They start laughing again.
“Hey now, missy. That’s my line. You stole my line. Give it back.”
“Oh, don’t be such a baby.” She gently pushes her friend in mock hostility. “Oh, wait a minute. I’m the domicile…domino…domes…I’m the man in this relationship right now.” She jabs her finger into his chest. “You’re my bitch tonight. Tomorrow, you’re on top.”
“Yeah, but we’ve only been together for about…” He counts the moments with his fingers. “Seven hours.”
Willow grabs Arch by both ass cheeks. He squeaks and protests, but then hold her closer. “I…love a man who counts his relationships with his fingers.” She laughs out loud again.
He touches her hair and then…kisses her passionately. Intensely. And dares to use his tongue. Willow’s eyes go wide, hoping to God he wasn’t doing what she thinks he’s doing. She goes along, matching him tongue for tongue in…an intimate fashion. Arch’s eyes pop out and he decides to up the stakes. He wonders if she’s just acting now or is he getting in over his head?
Giles is flabbergasted, to say the least. “Miss Rosenberg! Mr. Hannigan! You two stop that immediately! It’s…undignified.”
Arch taps on Willow’s shoulder and whispers loud enough for the bouncers to hear, “Did you invite him or does your pa always shadows you on hot dates?”
She laughs, still flushed by the ‘passion play’. “Oh, poo, Giles! I finally found someone to snuggle with and you’re cramping my style.” She walks toward Giles. “I’m not your little girl anymore. I’m not your little girl period!” She pokes her finger on his chest to emphasize that point. “This is college, it’s where people break out of the their shells, and dammit I’m a’breaking.” She sticks her tongue in what looks like open defiance of his authority. Giles is shocked.
Arch walks behind her. “Yeah! Just because you were her teacher for an umptillion years don’t mean you can rule over her life. Or who she can see and can’t see. We’ve been close these past weeks.” He caresses her cheek and she purrs. He wraps his arm around her waist and moves even closer to her body. “And now we’re gonna party and get naked and catch up with as much debauch as we can get away with.” He faces down the doorman. “Unless you jokers have a problem with me showing a woman a good time.”
If these were normal bouncers, Arch wouldn’t get in if he were dating the President’s Daughter. But these guys are students…and they’re not too crazy about Carl of late. In fact, they would like nothing more than to freak him out by letting these two kids and their disgruntled teacher into the party just for spite. After all, how much trouble can they be?
The doormen step aside and give the three entry. “G’wan in, Arch.” The first bouncer says. “Have fun with your girlfriend. Just don’t do anything I’d won’t…until the third date anyway.” The other stuffs a three pack of condoms in his hand. “You’re gonna need this, bub.” He whispers. Arch nods in agreement. He, Willow and Giles walk on in, her hand snugly into her ‘boyfriend’s’ back pocket. After they close the door, the bouncers laugh like a couple of happy pranksters, shaking their heads and slapping themselves. This is going to be a real blast!
As soon as they reach the safety and privacy of a restroom, the argument starts. Willow complains about Arch’s method acting. “Why the hell you gave me tongue, you jerk? I have a boyfriend, or have you forgotten that little talk we had in the park?”
Arch counters, “What about that ass-grab, camper? I thought you said you never did much acting. I said we must make like new found lovers to get past the doormen, not go like Randy West and Marilyn Chambers.”
“Oh, is that where you learned your dating technique? Didn’t know you were so well versed in the classics?”
“Now that’s low, lady. I may not play the field like you do, but I…”
Giles opens the restroom door and butts in. “Will you two stop this bickering?!? Your performances were over the top, but we got in. Just remember you’re doing this for Oz’s sake. I’m certain he will forgive you both once this is over, but for right now stow it!” He takes a look at their unkempt appearances. “And straighten yourselves out, for God’s sake. You’re not gonna fool everyone with your ‘hot blooded lovers’ act. Once was enough for me.” He storms off to the main hall.
Willow and Arch ponder over their next move, and then make themselves presentable. Arch tucks in his shirt while Willow does a quick comb over her hair and refreshes her make-up. Arch points out her bra-strap and she adjusts it. He pulls out her Hello Kitty button from his front pocket and helps her pin it on her shirt. He apologizes for his ‘performance.’ “I’m sorry about sticking my tongue where it shouldn’t. I mean, I got caught up in the moment and…well. No harm I hope.”
Willow stands still while he snaps on the catch. “It’s…all right. I kinda got a little happy with my ‘handiwork’ as well, didn’t I?”
He blushes a healthy pink, in spite of his present condition. “Well, just a bit.” He looks her over with approval. “Okay, my lady. Let’s play couple.”
She smiles as they step out from the restroom. “You know, you do have…a nice butt. Not that I have much experience in ass-grabbing and all, Arch, but I like yours.”
He blushes even further. “Thanks…I think. And…well…how can I say this? I like your teeth. I mean, the way they felt when my tongue was…and your tongue is…”
She gives him the look, the look most women give someone to tell them to quit jerking their chain. Arch sighs “Oh, come one Will. You were…terrific. If there were anyone I’d like to practice heavy petting with, you’d be it. Honest.”
She continues to stare him down. “If you ever breath a word of this to anyone,” she warns him. “I’ll Crazy-Glue your hand to a doorway. Do you get me?”
Arch looks down to his shoes. He feels might low now. He had gone too far and stepped on her toes. But then, she touches his shoulder and smiles. “I’m kidding, Arch. Thanks for the compliment…of sorts.” She offers her arm. “Shall we mingle, my lord?” , She says in a mock English accent.
Arch takes it and replies. “Sure, babe. Let’s check out this noise.” And off they go.
The rest of the gang sneak past the bouncers and the ‘fireworks’ Arch and Willow were throwing for their benefit. They are at the back entrance to the cellar and it’s padlocked. Lucky for the guys, there’s Steve’s liquid nitrogen tank. Xander fusses over the show that bought them access. “Why did Arch get chosen to go with Will? I could’ve gone along. She’s comfortable with me doing the Casanova with her.”
Buffy stares at him. “Well, let’s count the reasons. One, Arch is the most knowledgeable of the Gamma House layout next to Harlan. Two, he is more recognizable and he’ll draw more attention from us. Three, if that demon starts breaking out, Will’s his best chance for survival. And…you lost the coin toss, remember?”
Xander continues to pout. “I think she influenced that toss. Musta floated it in his favor. He’s her Shepherd and she likes him. I mean, why would she go along with that ‘Body Heat’ routine if she didn’t think he was cute?”
Harlan is getting a headache from the bitching. “Yeah, right. Whatever.”
Steve is also becoming annoyed by Xander’s mega-gripe. He needs all his concentration with spraying the padlock. “Why don’t we let him go to the kegger? Maybe he’ll get into a fight, bring some more heat off our backs, give me some quiet so I can do my job.”
“You’re forgetting Wormwood.” Orson answers as he keeps watch for trouble. “He’s still doing his rounds. Last thing we need is a riot, even if it would come in handy right now.”
Steve finishes coating the lock and taps it a few times with a rock hammer. The lock shatters into pieces. “Bingo.” He smiles as he brushes the remains away. “Coast clear?”
Buffy looks around at her end. “Yeah, we’re clear over here. Orson?”
Orson double-checks his spot. “Everyone’s bust with each other. Call him, Harlan.”
Harlan goes for his cell phone and keys in the short-range walkie-talkie.
Giles feels the vibration from the phone he borrowed from Orson. He pulls out of his pocket and clicks it on. “Hello?”
“Papa Bear. This is the Cubs. We’re about to scale down Dante’s Inferno. Buzz Jason and Medea to do their show.”
“What?”
“This is the Cubs. Near the Cave, man. We’re about to free Belle’s Beast.”
“I’m sorry.” Giles starts to doubt Harlan’s grip on reality. “I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”
“You’re being tailed, then? You doing pause and deny?”
“Look, you bloody twit. If you don’t start talking in something that resembles English…”
“ ‘Give me that phone, you meathead!’ “ Giles overhears Orson over Harlan’s protests. “Sorry, Rupert. We’ve got the cellar door open and we’re going in. Just push the button marked ‘Arch’ after we disconnect and then turn off the phone. His beeper will get the message.”
“Very well. What’s with…?”
“Too many ‘Mission: Impossible’ episodes and self-deluded grandeur. We’ve never done and a B&E before.”
Giles stifles a laugh. “I don’t believe it. I thought you were the terrors on campus.”
“Our repute is mostly hot air. Surprised you bought into it.”
“I’m a professor of folklore. It’s my job to fall for the local bunk.”
Orson snickers. “Okay, it’ll be our little secret. We’re off. Good luck.”
“Godspeed, Orson.” The connection goes dead for a minute, then the dial tone returns. Giles pushes the ‘Arch’ button and turns the phone off. “We’re going need some luck about now.” He mutters as he slips it back into his pocket.
Willow and Arch are drinking bottled water close to the poolside, watching the kids dance. Arch asks her if she had ever felt like a wallflower.
“Yes.” She answers. “Even after I met Buffy and Oz, I never felt like…they do.”
“Like you belonged?”
“No. Like being the center of attention. I think the closest I felt like that was at my Prom. I was even in the running for Prom Queen.”
“Oh. Did you win?”
“I got Princess. Rhinestone tiara. Pink sash. I showed them to you once. It was a nice change from all the scholastic awards. How about you?”
“Two Proms. Nothing but a pair of champagne glasses. I’d got various awards from all my high schools. Everything from perfect attendance to ‘Strangest Student of the 11th Grade’. They’re all at my aunt’s house. I have no room for them in my dorm room.”
“You ever get to go to these parties?” Willow’s face is beaming now. It’s an odd place to strike a talk with her Shepherd so close to the end, but waiting for Buffy and the guys to free Oz is a bit much for her. Talking to Arch helps pass the time.
He shakes his head. “I don’t dance. And I’m not much of a party person. There are reasons why I don’t associate with this crowd as much as I’d like to.”
“Oh.” Her curiosity is now piqued. “Care to dish with me? I mean, being a former full time wallflower, maybe I can…”
He raises his hand to silence her. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his beeper. It’s vibrating. He checks the message screen and then turns it off. “It’s time, Will. They’re going in.”
“All right. What’s the plan? Something like an argument or maybe we can…”
Arch takes her hand and leads her down to the ‘dance floor’. “Follow me.”
“Wait. You said you don’t dance.”
“I said I don’t. I never said ‘can’t’.”
Willow is confused, but doesn’t resist. They step down the pool’s steps. The kids stop dancing and walk to the sides like the parting of the Red Sea. Arch yells out a song title to the deejay. He spins the tune and Arch takes Willow into his arms…and starts with a tango! Now instead of confusion, she’s taken aback and startled. He whispers in her ear, “Just follow my moves and do what’s natural. I’ll help out.”
She relaxes and lets her body follow the rhythm. Soon she’s gets the general idea and the pair are now the center of everyone’s attention.
Just as she always wanted.
The gang is now halfway to the cellar. Buffy and Harlan are on point, Xander’s in the middle, Orson and Steve are bringing up the rear. Harlan listens to the song being played and smiles, “Good ol’Arch. Nothing like a good tango to attract attention away from a little breaking and entering.”
“What?!?” Xander is shocked. “Will can’t dance.”
“Don’t swear it, hoss. “Arch’s a dancing fool. She’s in for the thrill of her life.”
They reach the cellar. Well lit, it had a few furnishings: an autopsy table, a rack of knives, some food processing equipment…and a cage with one very wolven, very pissed Oz!
“Hello, nurse.” Buffy whispers.
“No need to whisper, sparky.” Harlan replies. “This place is soundproof.” He points to the noise-dampeners on the ceiling. “This joint is used for certain occasions. Special meetings, trials of any Gamma bigwig caught goofing around, initiation of the frat’s high council.”
“Lovely.”
Steve starts to walk towards to the cage. “Let’s get Oz out of there.” Buffy stops him. “No.” she says. They need the key to the cage. Freezing the lock would only endanger everyone.
Orson says, “We can fix that.” He pulls out something for his bag. It’s plastic explosives!
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Xander starts to panic. “Mr. Bond, won’t that blow up Oz and us and everyone that don’t like us?”
Orson reminds him of his expertise. He has enough to take out the lock, open the cage, and give someone a clear shot at knocking out Oz without singeing a hair off his back. “It’s your call, Buffy. But going for the key means running into Carl and I don’t think he’ll be willing to part with it…not without taking out his front teeth.”
She nods in agreement. Orson sets up the charge over Oz’s growls of protest. Steve discards his spray tank and covers the doorway to the main hall while Xander handles the stairway to the outside. After the plastique is primed and ready, Buffy overturns the autopsy table. It’s heavy and steel-enforced, an excellent shield against the blast. She, Orson, and Harlan move behind the improvised barricade. Along the way, Harlan takes a pair of safety goggles from the tool rack and puts them on. “These babies will help my aim once the fireworks end.” He says as he adjusts them. Satisfied with their fit, he readies the tranq gun. He’s the best shot in the group since Willow is presently ‘occupied’. He positions himself behind the upturned table and loads the weapon.
“Remember,” Buffy says. “Aim for the rear end. Oz is a bit of a jumper when he’s agitated. He’ll go for your throat-“
“I know how to shoot, little lady. Stow your encouragement. It makes me nervous. Let’s light this candle, Orson!”
Orson whispers a silent prayer for luck. Then he yells, “Fire in hold!” and presses the button.
The revelry is entranced by Arch and Willow’s fancy footwork. The two’s Tango have caught the kiddies off-guard…and they love it! Some whoop with delight, other laugh with pleasure, and a few others chant encouragement. Even Giles has come under the pair’s spell. He’s amazed by how smooth Arch’s rhythm was and how he keeps his partner from mis-stepping too much. Willow is overcome by ecstasy, almost orgasmic. Never had she experienced such a thrill in all her life. She wants to hang on to this feeling forever.
But two people are not amused or enthralled by the dance hall gymnastics. Carl was having a nice ‘talk’ with a sorority babe in his room when he notices the uproar. He pushes the half-naked chick off his body and scrambles to the window. He sees Arch and Willow and starts screaming bloody murder. His well-laid plans to nail the Science Boyz and their Shepherd charges have been discovered! He’s got to get to the cellar and destroy the evidence. He grabs some clothes and bolts through the door amid his date’s protests.
The other disapproving character has her troops at the ready. The Mistress hates seeing Willow enjoying herself. She wants her laughter to turn into tears and cries of pain. She motions her followers to wait for her signal. “Soon.” She grinds her teeth, her demon face showing no speck of humanity. “Soon.”
Orson presses the button and…BOOM! The lock disintegrates into a cloud of smoke, noise, and molten metal bits. The force of the explosion buckles the gate wide-open, one hinge ripping from its mooring. Oz is startled at first, scampering to a corner in terror. After the smoke clears, he decides to make a run for it, howling all the way. Harlan cuts the trip short with three shots on the behind. Oz yelps at each strike and tries to jump on Harlan…before the drugs finally take effect and put the werewolf to sleep. Harlan breathes a sign of relief. “Three shots? Cripes, either werewolves are tough son of a bitches or I need more practice.”
Orson check on Harlan’s handiwork and motions to Xander. “Come over here with the restraints and the muzzle, Xander. I don’t know how long these tranq darts are gonna last. They were meant to take down big cats, not creatures of the night.”
Xander scrambles to Oz’s side with the restraints. They put the muzzle on first before binding his legs together. They were trying to find a long enough pole to carry him away without endangering themselves when Steve is pushed violently to the floor. Everyone stops dead in their tracks to see Carl wearing his shark’s grin.
“Oh, great.” Harlan moans. “It’s the Masturbator of the House.”
On the dance floor, there’s jubilation. Arch and Willow have finished their little performance with a dip so deep, her head almost hits the floor. The partygoers are amazed, awed, entertained to the point of euphoria. The pair receives their applause with humility, bows, and curtsies. It is wild!
Arch looks at Willow. She’s sweating, out of breath, but her eyes are singing. Her smile is that of someone who finally found their place in the Great Scheme of Things. “Like being the center of attention now, m’lady?”
“Yeah.” She almost chokes on a laugh. “How did you learned to dance like that?”
“My aunt’s…friend. She’s a dance instructor, mostly ballroom and courting stuff. She taught me the Tango, the Waltz, a few other dances. Never had the need to use them till recently.”
“Aunt’s friend, eh? You’re close to them?”
Arch starts to blush. “They’re about the closest, best thing to family I’ve…” He suddenly doubles-over to the ground, grasping his stomach. The pains are back and it’s the worst attack yet! Willow scrambles to his side. The cheers turn to concern…and then the screaming starts.
“Well, well.” Carl taunts Oz’s would-be rescuers. “The Dirty Dozen, short a few homeys. Kinda had an idea you’d pull a rescue mission. Just never thought you had the stones to do it. No matter.”
Harlan checks on Steve. He’s okay, but in no position to take out Carl. “Give it up, sweetheart. We got the note and your boys on instant replay. Why don’t you go back being Capone before Ness crashed his party?”
Carl shakes his head. His grin just got wider. “Sorry, boy. I intend to see you and your freaks get some, even if I have to get my hands dirty.”
“Oh, sorry to ruin your repute, pal. Never thought you could get any lower than ‘assho-“ Harlan gets cut off by a swift punch in the stomach. He staggers to the side. Xander makes a running dive for Carl’s blind side, but gets tossed aside by a push to a wall. Orson is about do some damage, but Buffy beats him to it.
“Look, laughing boy.” She warns the grinning fool. “I hate hitting the emotional-crippled, but you’re just being a real annoyance today. Do you have some cheerleaders to bang, sororities to peek into, mustard to pour on your body?’
“I told you it ain’t over between us, girl.” Carl ignores her quips. “Wanted to do this proper by having you naked and begging on camera for your re-admission, but I guess a bitch-slapping will have to…”
Buffy gives him a good left hook to the jaw. His glass jaw, it turns out. He falls to the floor out cold. Amazingly, his smile never leaves his face…though it’s missing a tooth or three now.
“Sorry, Monty. Now you’re packed.”
Harlan, Xander, and Steve scramble to their feet. Harlan takes one look and laughs like crazy. “Nice punch, little mama. Glad to see I’m not the only combat trained flunky around here.”
Buffy is not amused. “Don’t try me, buddy. I’m not in the mood.”
Orson notices Oz stirring. The drug’s wearing off. “Someone tie up Sleeping Charming over there and put him in the cage.” He says as he digs into his bag for a syringe and vial of muscle relaxant. “Steve, check outside and see if the coast’s clear.”
Steve runs up the stairs. Xander finds some duct tape and helps Harlan bind Carl’s legs, arms and mouth.
“Is he gonna tell Wormwood about all this?” Buffy asks Orson as he tranquilizes Oz again.
“Doubt it. Not unless he wants everyone to find out how he sucker-punched by a freshman. Wouldn’t help his ego a bit.”
Steve comes back in a heluva hurry. “Guys. We got some serious crap going down.”
“Gamma goons?” Xander asks.
“Worse. It’s Party-Crashers of The Undead.”
Buffy scrambles for her weapons. “Time to go to work. Orson, you and Steve stay here in case someone comes down here and makes trouble. Xander, you’re with me. Harlan, feel like a little whoop-ass?”
“Just point and I’ll click.” Harlan takes a stake. “I’ve got your six.”
The trio runs up to the main hall, leaving Steve and Orson with a snoring Oz and an unconscious Carl. “Ever thought college would be like this, eh?” Steve asks Orson.
“Well, I was hoping for a simple panty raid this year.” He answers.
Steve laughs. But it’s the nervous kind, more suitable for the London Blitz.
The vampires take Arch’s collapse as a good time to attack and The Mistress approves. They jump out of the bushes, the trees, and their other hiding place to pounce on fresh college kids. Students and Gammas run for their lives. Giles tries to help maintain calm, but it’s hopeless. He breaks a leg off of a table and nails a vamp before he bites a girl. Willow uses her powers to push a few more off the ground and into the sharp pointy fence surrounding the House. Arch curses nonstop through the pain, curled up into a ball and his eyes tearing from the intensity.
Willow looks around for Buffy as she floats another vamp off to his doom. “Where are you, Buffy? I can’t do my Jedi Mind Tricks forever. Oh, where’s Obi Wan when you need…”
Five vampires jump down to the pool floor, surrounding she and her friend. “That’s enough, sweet thing.” One vamp says, his teeth gleaming white and deadly. “The Mistress wants you alive. That don’t mean we can’t slug ya to stop yer little parlor trick. Or kill yer friend too.” He steps closer to Arch to make his point.
Willow realizes she can’t take them all out. Not without giving herself a stroke. She raises her hands in surrender. “Okay. I give. Just let me pick up my friend here.” She stoops down to Arch. “He’s in a lot of pain.”
“Sorry, babe. The orders are you come with us. Your boyfriend is on the menu.”
Willow smiles, “Well, if you’re going to be snotty about it then…” She quickly wraps her arms around Arch and launches themselves into the air. They float out of the reach of their captors and land safely on the Gamma House patio. A couple of vamps try to jump her, but she just yells, “Back off!” and has them pushed through the screen door.
Arch crawls to the edge of the pool. He sees the five vamps running towards him and his stomach goes into overdrive. He heaves and throws up…fire! Out from his mouth comes a blast of blue-green flame. It consumes the pursuing creeps and melts them into atoms. Willow stands there, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. “I didn’t know you could do that.”
“Neither did I.” Arch replies weakly as he picks himself up from the ground. The vamps Willow ‘pushed’ come back from their little accident, thoroughly pissed. Arch has another vomiting flame spell and burns them to ashes.
“Now that’s a handy trick.” Xander says after witnessing the flameout. Willow warns him to stay back. If the flame is just one symptom of demon possession, who knows what else would happen. “Great. Linda Blair Goes To College. As if it couldn’t get any more freakier.”
Willow then asks about Buffy. Xander points to the ruckus across the pool. Buffy and Harlan are cleaning house, dusting vamps hands over fists. Giles comes out from the House and joins Willow in a last desperate attempt at exorcising the demon. Arch screams in intense pain, shattering every window in the place. Willow deflects the shards and flings them at the remaining vamps. Buffy and Harlan make a crash dive for cover as the glass pieces do their work. Then, there’s another scream. It’s from The Mistress and boy is she pissed!
“Can’t you idiots do anything right?” She bellows at her non-existing troops, leaping from her command post and landing close to Willow, Giles, and Arch. Xander’s jaw drops to his shoes. Buffy stops short of jumping across the pool and lets out a curse. Willow just stand there and mutters, “Oh my God! It’s you…it’s really you…isn’t it, Harmony?”
Harmony changes her face from its demonic mask to what it was before: Blond hair, blue eyes, clear skin. Only the vacant look is gone. “You remembered.” She smiles. Then she becomes very grave. “How nice.”
“You know this freak?” Harlan asks Buffy.
“Oh, yeah. Old dead friend from out of town.”
“Swell. Don’t you guys know any nice normal psycho bikers or boring accountants?”
Harmony goes into detail on how she ended up as The Mistress of The Undead. Seems one of Wilkins’ lackeys had a crush on her since he set eyes on her about a few months before Graduation Day. He thought she was the reincarnated lover he had a couple hundred years ago, the same romantic drivel that has kept most vampire romance writers in beer and pizza money for years instead of the REAL harsh tales of hybrid demons and the bull they have to deal with day to day. Ignoring strict orders, the vamp took a chance and brought Harmony across. Unfortunately, all the qualities he fell in love with didn’t quite make the transfer. Three weeks after Graduation Day, she iced her ‘lover’ and proceeded to marshal as many of the surviving Old Guard as possible and to make some new converts as well.
Now, clad in a black lace bustier, leather pants and jacket, stiletto high heels, and a black ruby choker…Harmony wants to get even! Willow asks why. “Why? You want to know why? Do you really want to know why, you Wiccan bitch?!? I had plans. I had dreams. I had stuff to do that required me being alive and you and your little friend Buffy and the rest of your coven had to have a little rumble with a 60-foot snake-demon and leave me in the clutches of some lovesick vampire. Do you know how BORING it is to be a vampire? Hunting down humans for food, staying out of the sun, having urges to sleep with both sexes, dealing with stale blood breath, being forced to wear these clothes like some pre-Evita Madonna tramp? Do you?”
Willow thinks it over for a moment. Then she answers, “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve met my vampiric self once and I didn’t like her fashion sense either.”
Harlan moans, “Nice comeback, Will. Really got her quaking in her boots”
Harmony goes to demon mode and roars at him and Buffy. A powerful wind blows them off their feet and slams them on their backs. Buffy turns her head to give Harlan a dirty look. “Were you born to piss people off or did you have to work at?”
Harmony looks right back at Willow. “Where was I? Oh, yes. I’m going to kill you now.”
Xander tries to stop her, but she just tosses him aside. Or rather, she tosses him across the pool and into Buffy and Harlan. “We’ve got to stop meeting like this, man.” Harlan gripes as he pushes him off his body.
Harmony continues to stalk Willow. Giles blocks her way with a stake. She snatches it from his grasp and shatters it. She then grabs him by the collar and says, “Wait your turn, old man.” She throws him into the screen window. Luckily, the window is already broken, so he just crashes into some furniture.
Harmony then pauses to see if anyone else wants to play hero. “Well? Anyone else wants to toss around? I may be a vampire, but I do gain weight. Being on a liquid diet doesn’t mean I don’t bulk up. I need my exercise.”
“God, how can you be so shallow?” Arch whispers, weak from inner turmoil and the chaos of being a vessel for a demonic spirit. “You don’t know jack about suffering.”
“Oh, and what are you going to do about it, sick boy?” She puts her hands on her hips. “Puke on my shoes?” She laughs long and hard before she put her game face on. “Give me a break.”
Arch lets out a heave and this time what comes out freaks out EVERYBODY, including Harmony. Smoke comes out of his mouth. Not a little. Not a lot. But a deluge of gray-white-black-red-yellow smoke comes rushing out. And that’s not all. Lights of many colors mix in with the unearthly fog. And then there are the screams. Screams of pain. Of fear. Of terror, torture, and despair. None of them belong to Arch…or anyone from this earth for that matter. A breeze gently blows over the House, but the smog just ignores it. No sense in saying it’s not alive, because it’s collecting itself, marshaling its powers over the pool. Shape, form, and texture come to being as the mass solidifies itself. The very air is alive with netherworld energy. With demonic voices. With impending dread.
Steve and Orson come out from the main hall to help Giles to his feet. When he asks why they left their hiding place, Orson tell him about taking a chance and dropping off Carl and moving Oz to safer quarters away from Ground Zero. “We put Oz back in the kennel and left Carl at the park.” He shrugs. “Looks like we’re in for a major hairball.”
Arch finally purges himself of the fog, smoke, whatever hellish stuff the demon consists of. Willow takes advantage of Harmony’s distraction by pulling out her amethyst and uses the Sight. He is clean…and surprising alive! Obviously, the demon just wants to a vessel to keep safe until the right moment. But for what purpose? Another unearthly roar pierces the air. “Oh, great.” She curses. “Here comes Junior.”
The smoke finally completes its metamorphosis. It’s not a pretty sight. Measuring about fifty feet, everything below its torso is still smoke and dancing light. Above it is a human torso, clad in dirty yellow-white rags blue-black strips of cloth with brass buttons on some pieces. Its hands are human too, but they have blood-red fingernails that are a foot long and sharp. And its head…the demon’s head is that of a California Grizzly Bear, topped off with brown fur save for a single gray stripe parted in the middle and ghostly white teeth that almost burn.
But its most terrifying feature is its eyes. It has no eyes. Its sockets are empty, black, vacant!
Harlan takes one look at the beast and recognizes it immediately. “Drokking Leaper! It’s him! It’s really him!”
Buffy looks at him funny. “You know this creep?”
“It’s the
spirit of the Union Soldier who got cannibalized. The one who’d offed his bros at that reunion a hundred years ago.” He points to the head. “That’s the grizzly’s head they couldn’t find.”
Xander whistles at the sight of the beast. Not even devil snakes or GiBots could top this. “I don’t suppose he brought an invitation?”
The monster roars in unbelievable rage and gives the Gamma House a good swat. A huge part of the second floor gets trashed. Willow floats herself and Arch to safety. Giles, Steve, and Orson make a dash for the front door. Harmony dodges the falling debris. Buffy, Harlan, and Xander scramble for cover.
Willow makes note of the destruction. “I take it he doesn’t like the Gamma either.”
“It’s the house.” Harlan tells her. “It’s on the site where the Rapture Night Saloon once stood. It’s symbolizes what he hates the most. The comrades who killed him and devoured his remains before the end of the Civil War and their release from the POW camp.”
“But they didn’t know the war was gonna end when they did it They weren’t responsible.” Buffy reasons.
Harlan shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter to him. They didn’t confess to their crime. They didn’t admit to their guilt, not even to themselves. The grunts just covered their asses and made it look like another Confederate war crime.”
Xander asks, “But didn’t he already did that at the reunion?”
Harlan answers, “Carl started the whole cycle again when he tried to re-enact the Bear Banquet, using a substitute. I mean, you can’t get grizzly from a supermarket these days. Must’ve pissed Ol’ Smokey into something fierce. I oughta kick Carl’s ass for this.”
Arch looks at him. “Yeah, but I’ve been stuck with this thing in my stomach for eight months! Carl couldn’t have been planning this that long.”
Willow answers, “Spirits can see into the future and the past. Time means nothing to them, Arch. He figured his memory was being desecrated again…so he used you as a vessel for his vengeance, to gather his strength and wait for the right moment.”
“Swell. I’m Typhoid Larry.”
She shakes her head as she touches his shoulder. “More like a Trojan Horse actually. He could’ve picked anyone, even Carl. You just were the closest person to…”
Harmony lands right in front of the pair, her eyes aflame with vengeance denied and anger multiplied.
“I really hate to interrupt this little history lesson of yours.” She says as she readies herself to strike at Willow and Arch. “But I’m gonna get my pounds of Wicca and Slayer flesh and no two-bit spirit on a revenge kick will stand in my way.”
“Look, Harmony.” Willow is half-frightened, half-annoyed by all the hot-air threats. “Could you wait until we’ve dealt with the Grizzly Adams of The Damned here? Your timing is just a little off.”
She just laughs it off and reverts to her demon face. “Oh, please. I’ve been threatened by better excuses of demonic hordes and I’ve outlasted them all! If you think some bear-headed, poorly-dressed, half-crazed ghost is gonna stop me…”
She doesn’t get to finish her statement. That bear-headed, poorly dressed, half-crazed ghost had listened to her insult and was offended. He grabs her by her jacket and bites her in two. Giles, Orson, and Steve come in just in time to witness the deed.
“Well, that fixes one problem.” Giles says.
Arch agrees, sort of. “But what about the 800 pound gorilla over there?”
“Maybe we pray for a banana.” Steve replies. It’s not all that amusing.
The demon gives another roar and continues his rampage against Gamma House. He rips off a chunk of the pool and throws it at the building. Everybody runs for cover, with Willow and Giles carrying Arch on their shoulders. The two groups convene and assess their predicament “Well, Ms. Vampire Slayer,” Harlan gripes. “How we’re gonna deal with Chuckles The Bear and his fetish for destruction? You’re the expert on this crap. What are you gonna do, get it an unicycle and hope it gets the idea?”
Buffy is insulted. “Oh, just because I took on a snake the size of a Greyhound doesn’t mean I can deal with that.” She points to the ghost as he continues tearing up the place. “I mean, the snake had an emotional attachment.”
Arch nods at the carnage. “And what you think he has? An unhealthy disdain for modern architecture?”
Onto Part V
