Stalking Shadows
By Saitaina A. Moricia
(Based on a true story. The bold is song lyrics)
They didn’t know that afternoon in the small theater that, that day, would be the start of a change in both of their lives. That their lives would be tangled in each other, and that the next year would be the most painful one of them had ever known.
All Amanda knew as she stood, watching Alex slip on his shirt was that she wanted him. It was early May and Amanda, new to the small town of Elmira had accepted the offer from a friend to help do lighting for the Drama Club’s big play. Amanda had never done much, coming from a broken home and a painful life of being the “Fat girl”, so she felt shy being around all the loud, colorful, silly people of the Drama club. In facet, she even thought of quitting, but that was before she saw Alexander Pawlowski. Something changed in here that day.
She didn’t even know his name, but that didn’t’ stop her from pursing him. Unfortunately, in her quest to find out more about him, she made mistakes. Amanda wasn’t one to just wait for a guy to notice her, she was one to MAKE him notice her, and that’s just what she did.
She followed him to his classes, seeing what he was interested in. As a senior, a great majority of his schedule was based on his hobbies she knew, so she saw no harm in seeing what he was taking if it helped her figure out his interests. After a week, she knew his classes and so who his friends were. But unfortunately, it became ingrained in her to follow the same path to her classes she used to follow him. As the time went by, she learned more about him. Alexander Stanley Pawlowski, third Alexander in his family, local rich boy, and according to many sources, royal jerk.
Things had changed for Amanda, she was no longer the shy wall flower she once was. Instead she stopped hiding behind baggy pants and T-shirts, she started wearing flattering clothes and worked on getting her flat hair under control. She started getting involved with school activities, taking a pride in her school she had never known.
She also started making friends for the first time in years. Some of them were Alex’s friends, but she couldn’t’ help that.
One late night in June, Amanda got the nerve to do something she had never dreamed of. Egged on by her foster sister, Amanda called Alex. Her hands sweated as she waited for him to come on the line.
“Hello?” His rich voice sent shivers down her spine.
“Umm, Hey, Alex, It’s Amanda, from Drama Club, I was, uh, wondering, would you like to go out with me?” She winced. Of all the crappy lines. She though.
There was a long pause, so long Amanda’s breath caught in her throat and she swore her heart stopped beating.
“No.” His response finally came. “Maybe if I get to know you more…but right now, it’s almost like your stalking me. Every time I turn around, your there.”
Amanda nearly dropped the phone, her hand was shaking so badly. Her heart sunk to somewhere around her knees and started throbbing.
“I…I don’t want to hurt you,” Alex said softly.
‘I don’t want to hurt you.’ Those words repeated themselves in her mind over and over, ingraining into her memory. She wanted to scream at him, to yell, ‘What do you thing your doing then!!,’, but nothing came out.
“you understand don’t you?” Alex asked, still in the same soft voice.
“Yes,” Amanda said, in a strange flat voice. “Bye.”
Alex repeated the word and there was a soft click. Amanda starred at the wall as the phone slipped from her fingers. Tears flowed freely down her face as she slipped bonelessly out of her chair. She cried into the floor for hours, her foster sister struggling to comfort her.
A year later, Amanda stepped onto the stage at Elmira High School and starred out at the dark audience. She knew Alex was watching and closed her eyes as the music started.
I sent you roses, warned you I would, Do all that I could, to show you the way that I feel. Please don’t say, I’m wasting my time, I’ve got nothing but time. So I’ll do all that I can, to catch that ghost of a chance.
As she sung the words, her eyes filled with scenes of the past year. While she was more out going, had more friends, and was involved in more activities then ever before, things had only gotten worse with Alex.
The sunlight, the moonlight. Are beyond my control. There are stars in the heavens, that I’ll never hold, but if dreams give you power, then I’m strong enough, to offer my hear, and never give u0 till you love me.
Alex still accused her of stalking him, though she wasn’t doing it intentionally. They had many of the same friends, both were very active in school activities, both took drama and had many of the same teachers.
I looked in your eyes, so bright and so blue, and that’s when I knew, that you could be mine. If good things come, to those who will wait, then I guess I will wait. If that’s what I have to do, oh it’s worth it for you.
Unfortunately, Alex was both popular and influential. When Amanda got a part in the play he was in, he had her taken out. When she joined the track team, ha had her kicked off. He also spread rumors that she was crazy, a ‘psychotic bitch’ in fact. Rumors that would soon come true.
The sunlight, the moonlight, are beyond my control. There are stars in the heaven, that I’ll never hold, but if dreams give you power, well, then I’m strong enough, to offer my heart, and never give up, till you love me
Later that year, Amanda had a nervous break down and tried to commit suicide. She was moved from Elmira, never to see him again. But four years later, she still thinks and dreams about him, still loves him. One day, she wishes, they will meet again, and he will realize that she’s no longer, Stalking Shadows.
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