My friend, Kelly is seriously pondering how a column on pasta can be written. The way I see it, as long as you have a story about a topic, that topic can be interesting.

You are entering the dimension of Pasta. That is an exact quote of a Home Ec. video that I saw last year. It was quite stupid - some kid reached for a jar of pasta on a top shelf in his house, and he fell and hit his head, and entered "The dimension of Pasta", complete with Velveeta cheesy special effects. "It's as easy as boiling water!"

I have a couple of Home Ec. pasta stories. The first is on macaroni. We had to make macaroni in Home Ec. Golly, but that stuff was gross. It tasted okay, but I could make gargling noises for an hour afterward. You wouldn't belive the cleanup.

The next week we made spaghetti. Well, the sauce was rather spicy, (and there was little of it).

I have a theory about food and school: Any food that moves through a school is instantly corrupted.

For instance, suppose a plane with a cargo of turkey eggs flies over a school, and then, three years later, once the eggs have hatched and the turkeys grew up, the turkeys would be eaten at Thanksgiving. "You know, the turkey tasted a little rubbery this year," would be uttered in every house that one of the contami-turkeys. Cafeteria food, Home Ec. food, even a packed lunch, taste better at home.

Is that because we are all more comfortable at home?

Heck, we're more comfortable in torture chambers than at school!

If you would like to correct my grammar, or comment on this, or any of my columns, please click here.