What is a good teacher? I've had more than twenty teachers in the past two years, and I've seen teachers that seemed pretty good, and teachers that seemed pretty terrible.

One of the worst teachers that I've had was a substitute. I didn't include substitute teachers in my count because it would be impossible to count them. Or nearly so.

Anyway, the worst substitute teacher I've ever had was Miss Temple. A few of the readers of this column may have had her sub for them a few times, and have their share of Miss Temple stories. Here's mine.

Last school year, on April Twentieth, the day of the Columbine High School shooting, my math class had Miss Temple as a sub. I think it is important to mention the date because, since it was Hitler's birthday (Which I knew nothing about at the time) everyone was going to really be mean to Miss Temple. Columbine occurred on Hitler's birthday for a somewhat similar reason. Anyway, don't blame me for being gross about Hitler's birthday, 'cause I knew nothing about it. Every day, in math class, we would do drills. Every day. Even on the first day, when other teachers were handing out candy, and saying "We'll have so much fun!", my teacher made us do a drill. Anyway, we answered all of the drill questions as "420" if possible (Get it, 4/20, or 420?). I answered the essay question, "Since 4*20=80, and 20*4=80, then multiplication is commutative." Miss Temple wasn't happy. We tried to take her seriously, but I guess she had blown her chance at credibility because of talking about Dawson's Creek (The W.B. show) to the SAME CLASS the year before. We laughed all period. We were so bad, she referred the class to the office - TWICE!!! Two kids were referred three times. It was like we had taken a vacation in Jellied Toast.

That story was fun, but what makes a good teacher? Is a good teacher one who grades harshly, fairly, or kindly? How does the world "grade" our work?

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