[Note: This chapter is based on a real person, but is meant to mock a select few of her closed-minded activities, adding in gross hyperbole for humor. I did learn a reasonable amount from her, but I also found myself stifled in her class, and in classes like her's. This chapter tells about that stifling. Note: I do not know of any real people who will breath smoke in through their mouths and out through their noses.]

Chapter five:

Al was sitting in his sadistic English teachers class, bored out of his skull. The teacher blabbed on and on about parts of speach. Al already knew the parts of speach, but, would you believe it, his English teacher had taught them TWICE in the same semester!

"Ms. Airhead? I have a question." said a stupid kid in a snivelly voice.

"What is it!" Ms. Airhead snapped. "Out with it! I don't have time to waste. I'm a busy person!" Ms. Airhead continued on about how she was very busy and had a tight schedule for half an hour.

"Ms. Airhead?" asked a stupid kid in a snivelly voice. "Can you end a sentence with a preposition?"

"NO YOU CERTAINLY CAN NOT. SHUT UP!". Ms Airhead went on to explain that the sentence, "The cat jumped over the wall and knocked a brick out," is improper grammar.

"Ms. Airhead?" Al asked, "Wouldn't 'the wall' be asssumed at the end of the sentence, so the sentence could be proper grammar?"

"YOU'RE CONTRIBUTING TO THE CORRUPTION OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE! ALL OF YOU! FROM NOW ON, IF ANYONE SPEAKS A LICK OF IMPROPER GRAMMAR, THEIR GRADE WILL BE DROPPED ONE LETTER GRADE!" screamed Ms. Airhead. "I hate grammar. Don't you?"

Tears welled up in the eyes of several students. They buried their faces in their arms and cried shamelessly. Some of the girls got all weird and huggy, so all of the boys with a lick of sense got out of their way. Al and several of his friends started discussing theology.

"STOP CRYING YOU BABIES. I AIN'T GOIN' TO PUT UP WITH YO ANYMO'!"

Suddenly, Al and his group of budding philosophers gasped. MS. Airhead was using bad grammer. Al pointed this out to her, and was promptly expelled.

Alex then pointed out that Ms. Airhead had no authority to expel him, which angered her so that she was driven to pick up her package of cigarrettes, and chain smoke.

The way that Ms. Airhead smoked was entirely disgusting. She would inhale, hold her breath, then breathe the smoke out through her nostrils. Her bangs got singed in this manner. In between inhalations, she would giggle satisfactorily, and quake. Then the bell rang, and Al went to gym class, which is so mundane it is not worth writing about.

What happens next? Hint: The teletubbies are involved!