A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom

of children while they drew. She would

occasionally walk around to see each child's

artwork. As she got to one little girl who

was working diligently, she asked what the

drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "but no one

knows what God looks like." Without missing

a beat, or looking up from her

drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children,

as they were on the way to church

service, "And why is it necessary to be

quiet in church?" One bright little girl

replied, "Because people are sleeping."

A little boy opened the big and old

family Bible with fascination, looking at the

old pages as he turned them.

Then something fell out of the Bible

and he picked it up and looked at

it closely. It was an old leaf from

a tree that has been pressed in between

the pages. "Momma, look what I found,"

the boy called out. "What have you got

there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in

the young boy's voice he answered, "It's Adam's suit!"

The preacher was wired for sound with

a lapel mike, and as he preached,

he moved briskly about the platform, jerking

the mike cord as he went.

Then he moved to one side, getting

wound up in the cord and nearly

tripping before jerking it again.

After several circles and jerks, a little

girl in the third pew leaned toward her

mother and whispered, "If he gets loose,

will he hurt us?"

Six year old Angie and her four-year old

brother Joel were sitting together in church.

Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.

Finally, his big sister had had enough.

"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church

and said, "See those two men standing by

the door? They're hushers."

My grandson was visiting one day when he

asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and

God are alike?" I mentally polished my

halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"

"You're both old," he replied.

A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her

grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable

about the Bible. Then one day she floored

her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the

mother of Jesus? The Virgin Mary or the

King James Virgin?"

A Sunday school class was studying the

Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss

the last one. The teacher asked if anyone

could tell her what it was.

Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,

"Thou shall not take the covers off

the neighbor's wife."

I had been teaching my three-year

old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer.

For several evenings at bedtime, she could

repeat after me the lines from the prayer.

Finally, she decided to go solo.

I listened with pride as she carefully

enunciated each word, right up to the

end of the prayer:

"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed,

"but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."

A little boy was overheard praying:

"Lord, if you can't make me a

better boy, don't worry about it.

I'm having a real good time like I am."

A young boy was in a relative's wedding.

As he was coming down the aisle,

he would take two steps, stop, and turn

to the crowd. While facing the crowd,

he would put his hands up like

claws and roar. So it went, step, step,

ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down

the aisle. As you can imagine, the

crowd was near tears from laughing so hard

by the time he reached the pulpit.

The little boy, however, was getting more

and more distressed from all the laughing,

and was also near tears by the time

he reached the pulpit. When asked what

he was doing, the child sniffed and said,

"I was being the Ring Bear."