Today, We Walk
I walk these empty streets alone
I pass shops and houses and people
Who see me no more than I see them
But you see
You are the whimsical smile on my face
The twinkle in my eye
My perspective, the lens of my camera
The only one I share my journey with
On my wordless thoughts through this numb world
I love you
And wherever I go
You go with me
You are the far away look in my eyes
The spring in my step
The direction of my aimless wanderings
I am lost in a blinding whirl of meaningless faces
Holding your hand
Hearing your voice and laughter
It drowns out the noisy city street
And chases away my haunting need
to be someone in a world of unseeing masses
I am not looking for
I am looking through
A surrealness
which I step over like cracks in the sidewalk
And we are the only ones who understand why
Sometimes a stranger catches a glimpse of you who walks invisibly with me
and he suffers incredible envy
In that brief recognition,
reflected in his eyes
I realize
How wonderfully blessed I am
And we, just we
Walk on
Skipping over all that does not matter
finding this universe within
I lift my head to the sky
and laugh
You are so gifted, My Darling! A word, a touch of your hand, a twinkle in your eye, a gentle guidance, a constant reaffirmation of self-worth, an intuition, the most forgiving soul I have ever known, the going beyond the call of duty, a keen intellect and not just intellect, but true wisdom, a deeply spiritual man and a lusty human with a deep longing for meaning and physical expression, a man of true passion, dedication to all that is noble and good and uplifting, and just as an added bonus, you like me.
I like you, too. Probably a lot more than you like your own self. That's part of your goodness, your sweetness. I felt some of these things with someone else today. We did all of the formal stuff and tried not to meet each other's eyes TOO much. Seeing in that connection an irretrievable concern born of understanding, kinship. But he was not you. You are my brother, my keeper, my confidant, my friend.
I wanted to say something like "You are an angel" as I danced in the glory of your identity, but what came out of my mouth and perhaps only Gus heard was this....
as I said, only Gus heard.
I only wish those eyes could have been yours today, for we would not have diverted and we would have held hands, hands touching hands.
I need you now as I did from day one - some fateful day in winter
...some fateful day in eternity!
