April 16, 2000

Dear Ahmet:

Right hand yellow, left hand blue, right leg red, left leg green... Anyway saw READY TO RUMBLE of course, you were the best thing about this testosterone filled adventure! Even though you got your ass Super duper kicked, I have mucho respecto for you. Did you do your own stunts? You must've you manly man you.

I was thinking about all the wondrous roles you've played and was curious... Do you want to be an ACTOR actor? Like do you want a leading role? Or is this something you kinda do? Some people just like to do cameos. Is this the case or is "The Man" to blind to see your excellent talent?

My writing partner and I just finished a screenplay and it wups! Unfortunately there isn't a part in this one for you but just as soon as it is off to the agent I will begin work on a leading role for you. I have a solid idea for a screenplay I will write just for you to star in.

It's going to be a Scifi/Romance with a western flare. The lead character, Skeeter (you) goes on a quest to find his half brother, Bob who is a professional rodeo clown, at least that's what he has been told. When Skeeter finally finds him; Bob is actually a visitor from outer space working undercover as a rodeo clown in search of all lost Unicorns. It seems there is a crack head who runs the rodeo who has been illegally capturing Unicorns and using them in his rodeo. He removes their horns and sells them to the Japanese who then uses them to make an expensive version of Viagra which they sale on the black market. Skeeter (you) teams up with Bob to stop this hick and in the meantime falls in love with a Unicorn named Sarah. In the end Bob, Skeeter and Sarah buy a ranch in Wyoming and take care of all the Unicorns who fell prey to the evil poachers.

Sound good? I hope so because not only would being part of the film making process be a dream come true but to have you, the fabulous Ahmet Zappa in the starring role would be to say the least a very whimsical experience!

Love and kisses, Cat

PS

Here is your worship poem,