April 2, 2000

Dear Ahmet,

I'm really starting to get pissed off with MTV screwing with the webriot schedule. I mean how disappointing to be all logged on and ready to compete live with webriot and have an episode of fanatic come on in it's place. And to make it worse... Jessica Simpson was on it. I swear that chick is sickening. But anyway ... enough of that.

I have a new schedule and am now able to play webriot again. But with the freakin schedule getting changed all the damn time it's hard to know when I can play it! Enough bitchin!

I just want to let you know I will be at the theater on Friday, April 7th. To watch your appearance in READY TO RUMBLE! Everyone in the webriot chat room thinks I'm your publicist or something. I tell people who are "hookin up" that the best place for them to meet would be at their local theater on April 7th to watch READY TO RUMBLE. When they ask why and what business it is of mine, I simply tell them that Ahmet is in that movie and what better way to commemorate their first meeting but with a sort of homage to you. I know I will inevitably be disappointed with your amount of screen time. I usually am. But your performance makes up for that.

Also, another tid bit; right now at this very moment I am writing a screenplay with you in mind for a very special part. But I have one question for you and you must I mean must answer. If I do perchance get nominated for best screenplay at one of the award shows in the near future, which is very very possible considering I am an excellent talent. Will you accompany me? What I'm say is (I'm on my knees) Mr. Zappa would you go with me to the prom? err I mean would you be my date?

Take your time ... but let me just say that you would be a loser (and I know you're not) if you said no. I am a very special (I rode the yellow school bus), creative, girl. And did I mention I'm also a hottie! I'll let you go for now...

Smoothie bootchie!

Cat