December 5, 1999

Dear Ahmet,

I watched webriot this week and aside from not being able to play along with the show, and the fact that the scripted parts you have to say were... uh scripted; I only have one complaint. Your wardrobe. The first show on Monday was alright but then on Tuesdays show you wore this weird thing thing that looked sort of like you disemboweled a teddy bear.

I am not trying to preach but I do consider myself sort of an expert on you. I find that you look best in short sleeve shirts with either a scoop neck or unbuttoned slightly so we get to see a LITTLE chest hair (don't over do it). You look good in scooped or V neck sweaters that without a busy design. You also look great in the killer suits you wore for HAPPY HOUR but that blue thing with the vertical stripes that you wore the other day gave the illusion that you had no shoulders and that is not good. Especially 'cause you have perfectly good shoulders.

Next time they try to put you in something that does not go with the above guidelines just say no! Well, I won't bother you anymore today. Don't worry, I will bother you more in a few days. Oh and if you haven't check out my web page yet please do so!

Yours,

Guru Catherine