FAQ

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Q. What is the fascination with Jewel?

A. There is something quite soothing about a girl from Alaska living in a van down by the river turning magically into a wonderful crooked tooth swan! It could also be the whale blubber gum and lip gloss she wears that sends out an invisable aura that makes her virtually irresistable to all men and women regardless of sexual orientation. Then again... people really dig talentless, stringy haired, guitar strumming, frisbee magnets.

Q. Why are people scared to show their true feelings?

A. I think it is human nature to be afraid of what people might think of you. I believe that all people like the idea of being desired. Everyone wants approval. I am not afraid to show my true feelings because I do not care who approves of me. I like myself therefore it is not important if anyone else does. I just don't give a flying monkeys arse.

Q. Is Necrophilia a bad thing?

A. Necrophilia is a subject people are afraid to confront. In a way it is scary that so many people would like the answer to this question but like my great great uncle Cletus used to say, "I'm a necrophiliac do you mind playing dead?" I'm not saying that having sex with dead people is right or wrong. I personally would find it dull and unexciting, not to mention the smell, but if you have mad prior arrangements with the recently or not so recently deceased (depending on the arrangement). I don't see why it is my business or anyone elses. Necrophilia is not neccesarily a good thing.

Q. Why do I always lose my tube of chapstick just before I finish it?

A. I too have this problem. I will have a tube of lip gloss or chapstick and it will be getting very low. But I never get to finish it. I lose it before I have the chance to throw the empty container away. I don't really have an answer for this but it is good to know that I am not the only one in the world that this happens too. My theory is that subconciously we tell ourselves we are going to lose it because time and time again we have. So basically we sabotage ourselves. We don't let ourselves completely take advantage of our purchase.

Q. Why does your web page rock so hard?

A. That would probably be the most frequantly asked question. It's a good thing it is an easy one. Well, my page rocks so hard because I let it. You see my page and I have a good relationship and we've decided that we would have no boundaries. I do not reccomend this for everyone. Some people need boundaries but I think that our relationship is solid enough that we don't need boundaries. That is why my page rocks so hard and in return I rock even harder.

Q. Are you Ahmet Zappa's stalker?