This isnt really Martin, but whats he going to do about it?
What can we say about Martin that hasn't already been said in countless court cases? The only man that has dated a pitbull! Someone that has seen Allison Hughes in lingerie and lived! The man with the erotic twig! This guy is a legend in the sex offenders registry office!!!
At the moment, he attends college so he doesn't have to work.He always was lazy.He even played in goals for Star Rovers so he wouldn't have to run.
Martin was going out with a girl a few years ago(its true!)and another girl liked him.She wanted to stay in the tent with him one night,but Martin said "No,because he had a few other things on his mind at the time!".The next day,Martins girfriend dumped him.So he missed out on the chance to make a man of himself because of a stupid thing called fidelity!(let that be a lesson to you guys!).Then, he changed his mind,and was going to ask the second girl for another chance,but we told him that we recorded his conversation in the hut,and would blackmail him if he tried to lie to the new girl.He was stupid enough to believe us!(so he missed his second chance in 2 days!).
The one story that Martin will never live down is the ham sandwich incident.We were all up in the hut for a weekend,and all had food with us.Martin gave us all ham sandwiches,but hadn't enough to give one to Gers dad,Ger snr.Of course,there was murder when Ger snr found out,and he didnt talk to Martin for weeks.He was only messing,but still mentions it to Martin every once in a while,just to make him feel bad.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed,but can can come out with a good slagging every once in a while,its not totally unheard of.
