When you rearrange the letters in Elvis it spells lives.

Racecar is Racecar spelt backwards.

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kell himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

If a store advertises that it’s open 365 days of the year, do they close for one day during leap year?

The world’s youngest parents were 8 and 9 years old and lived in China in 1910.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.

If olive oil comes form olives, where does baby oil com from?

Laugh alone and the world thinks your an idiot.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

A day without sunshine is like night.

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home- Ken Olson, president chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp. 1977

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

When sign markers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

No word in the English language rhymes with month.

Wonder what you call a pocket calculator in a nudist camp?

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I’ll always have each other.

Never buy a pitbull form a one armed man.