Chapter 1

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And All We Are

Kate Foley

PG-13

Complete

A/N ~ Ok, I tweaked the end of season 2 for this story, in this one Rory never went to visit Jess in NYC, she didn’t go to Washington D.C. and he never came back, this takes place during the middle of the summer while Dean is at his grandmother’s and Rory is feeling very lonely. And by the way, any words in italics are thinking and boldfaced words are the song

Disclaimer ~ There are two songs incorporated in this Fic, I don’t own them they are called “Somewhere Out There” by Our Lady Peace, and “Now and Forever” by K-Ci &JoJo (The first three chaps it the OLP song, and the K-Ci &JoJo is the last chap) don’t sue me I’m 14 and have no money

Chapter 1: Reminiscing

It was a hot, humid, muggy and all around sticky July evening in Stars Hollow, Connecticut. The whole town was utterly quiet, all seeming to have succumbed to the intensive heat wave that was enveloping them and taken to lounging around in their air conditioned houses, and those without the luxury of AC crashed Kirk and his Mom’s place, because their system was the strongest. All of them accept one. Rory Gilmore sat alone on the bridge attempting to read her latest novel, “On The Road” by Jack Kerouac, but she couldn’t seem to focus on the print. Rather, her eyes always strayed to the handwritten blurbs in the margins. She had come here to find solitude and try to forget him, but she had stupidly enough selected a book that he had given her, what a way to try to forget.

Last time I talked to you
You were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me
Lost out in space

She fidgeted and sighed, trying to focus, but failing miserably, closing her book, she finally gave in to her thoughts. There was no point in trying to suppress them anymore, they had been creeping forward in her mind for the last month and she needed to confront them whether she wanted to or not. Her brain immediately flashed back to the last time she saw him, that night that changed everything. She replayed the images that had been burned into her mind, studying, jokes and magic tricks, laughing, ice-cream, the crash, and she was kicking herself systematically, if I had just kept my mouth shut, he would still be here, if I had just kept my mouth shut we would have gotten back to the diner in one piece, if I had just kept my mouth shut maybe we would have had a chance….no, no Rory! Dean! Think DEAN your boyfriend DEAN!, Jess was your FRIEND that’s all, but…NO deandeandean….ugh…stupid brain. She shook her head violently to as if trying to rid it of those thoughts. Jess was a friend, and she loved Dean, right? Of course she did…but if he was just a friend why is it him I dream of and not Dean? Why do I wish for him to return every day…god NO! stupid, stupid brain. Rory dropped her head into her hands and rubbed her temples furiously and just sat, thinking.

We laid underneath the stars
Strung out and feeling brave
I watched the red orange glow
I watched you float away

Her thoughts floated to later that week, when she was sitting watching Kirk’s film at the movie festival. Her and her mother were sitting with Sookie, quietly mocking Kirks film and trying to stifle laughs because the movie maker himself was seated just a few rows back. They had finally brought the giggling under control when Rory overheard Babette talking to Miss Patty “-I don’t know, all I know is Jess is gone….Yea I heard he wanted to leave….shipped him off on a bus right after if happened.” Was all she heard in-between the sounds of her heart pounding in her ears. I can’t believe he’s gone…just gone…god I’m going to miss him. Once she got over the initial shock she began to feel immediately lonely, and depressed, and well…her heart felt constricted…almost like that was the part of her that would miss him most…nonono…deandeandean…stupid useless brain!! Then all of the sudden there he was, his deep chocolate eyes, killer smile, and sharp features were dropped in front of her eyes, and suddenly, she felt like crying. She wanted him back, she wanted to run into his arms, to hold him close and tell him everything…but what was everything? She sighed again, her lips trembling hmm…how about starting with I think about you as more then just a platonic friend, much, much more…she rubbed her head again, what about Dean? What was she going to say to him? She didn’t even want to think about it, all she wanted to think about was Jess, even though she knew she shouldn’t be.

You're falling back to me
The star that I can see
I know your out there, somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there, somewhere out there

And that was when the revelation came. She was just sitting there, drowning herself in her own sorrow, when it hit her, the one thought that she had suppressed for so long slammed her right in the face with such momentum that she actually fell back onto the hard wooden slats of the bridge, and she just let the tears fall…I love him…I really do…DEAN!! No, not anymore...I know its crazy, but god I love him so much…but what now??
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