Disclaimer:  I do not own these characters.

Summary:  After the tragic death of her fiancé, Rory changed the path that she was following only to meet an old friend who might just be the one to ignite past dreams and feelings. Future literati

           After she got over the initial shock, Rory figured she needed to get back to her class and the previous discussion. 

           “Alright, let’s move on.” Rory tried her best to ignore the presence of Jess, but even with her averted eyes, she could feel his stare burning through her body.  And it was unbearable.  Excruciating. 

           She was just about to continue discussing Hemmingway when Jess spoke up once more.

           “Why are you being so evasive?” Jess asked pointedly.

           “I’m sorry, but I really need to teach right now, so we’ll discuss this after class.” Rory was stern, but Jess could tell that she was just as vulnerable as he had expected.

           The class ‘oooed’ in a dramatic tone, one like fifth graders would do, and Jess sat himself back down.  He would wait.  He was on a mission and he was not going to let Rory dodge him.

           Rory went back to teaching her class, but had severe trouble keeping her thoughts on track.  Her mind repeatedly wandered over to Jess.  ‘What is he doing here?’ ‘What did he mean by that quote?’ ‘Why did he have to say that in front of her class?’ ‘Why did he have to look so good?’ At this last thought, a fresh wave of guilt empowered her body.  It had only been a year; she wasn’t supposed to look at other men that way.  It wasn’t fair to him.  She wasn’t going to move on.  It was just wrong.  Especially this soon.  But she wasn’t thinking about moving on, just about how gorgeous Jess was.  ‘Probably just because I haven’t seen him a while.’ But her reassurances didn’t help.

           Rory talked on and on about Hemmingway and she noticed that whenever she stole a glance in the direction of Jess, he was firmly focused on her, a smirk plastered on his face.  ‘Well, I am the teacher, he should be concentrating on me.’ She thought, but at the same time, she wondered if he was concentrating on her or her words.  It looked like the former. 

           After another two hours of heated debate and discussion, Rory was finally able to close off her class and get the hell away from Jess.  She needed to get out of there before he could catch up with her, so she quickly grabbed her belongings off of her desk and situated herself in the middle of the mob of departing students.  Rory carefully disguised herself among them and weaved in and out in order to reach the door.  But when she was finally in sight of her escape route, and arm popped out of the crowd and blocked the doorway.  Rory traced the arm along and found the matching body. 

           Jess.

           Again.

           “So, you thought you could get away, huh?” He said.

           Rory looked away embarrassed. “No, I, uh, I was just assuming that we were meeting out here.” Rory lied as she pointed to the clearing hallway.

           “Rory?”

           “That’s my name.”

           “What are you doing?” Jess asked completely serious.

           “What do you mean? I’m talking to you.”  She dodged the question he had just asked by feigning innocence.  But she knew he wasn’t stupid, and she bought time for answering honestly.  Or at least answering with an elaborate lie.

           “Rory…” He warned.

           She waited for the crowd to disperse and the hallway to quiet down before she spoke.  “What are you doing here?” Some more dodging.  Maybe her nickname should be Dodger.

           “You didn’t answer my question.” He pointed out, growing frustrated.

           “I’m teaching and I live in California.  That is all there is to know.  Your turn.”

           Jess obliged, and candidly replied, “I came here to bring you back.”

           Rory stood quiet for a moment, taken in his blunt remark, not exactly expecting something as honest as that.

           “Well, let me save you some time right now in saying that I’m not going back.” Rory took a step toward leaving, but Jess grabbed her hand.  The close contact got her heart beating. 

           “You have to come back.  You can’t just take off like that and not come back.  Not to mention, not one phone call.  Your mother thought you were dead!”  His voice had risen and echoed through the now empty hall.

After a deep breath, Rory said, “Just let me move on, I was doing well.”

“No you weren’t.  Rory, you’re unhappy.  Let us,” he paused and corrected himself.  “Let me help you.”

“No, I don’t need your help.” 

“Yes you do.”

“Jess, you’ve never lost someone you loved.  You can’t tell me how I can or cannot cope.”

“No, Rory, you’re wrong.  I’ve lost the same person twice.”  First Rory hadn’t chosen him.  He had been devastated, but had gone on with life.  Then one day her car was gone.  And her clothes.  And her books.  And she was gone too.

           He was not letting her get away this time.

Rory looked at him, sadly, oblivious to the fact that he was talking about her.  She turned on her heels and walked down the hallway and away from him.

           Jess watched her disappear down the hallway and smiled to himself. 

He had gotten to her.

*********

Rory opened the door and walked out into the sunshine.  Due to the fact that Jess hadn’t followed her, she figured that he had gotten a clue and let her be.  But surprisingly, she was disappointed.  He hadn’t come after her.  Yet, she knew that he didn’t need his help.  She was actually worried about that would happen if she got too close to him.  Again.  Rory did not need all of that drama back in her life.  Not now…not today.

           She continued to walk along the street, trying as hard as she could to forget everything going on in her life.  To forget what day it was, to forget who had just pooped back into her life.  But it proved to be so very difficult.  Everywhere that Rory went, she saw a reminder.  Newspapers, flowers, magazines.  All reminding her of what she could’ve had and of the guilt she still fostered.  She feared it would never go away, not with the annual reminder that shot her back down. 

And then there were the billboards and posters, magazine ads.  All pointing to Jess Mariano and his novel, Trapped.  Rory herself felt trapped.  She was caught between her love for her fiancé and her desire to move on.  But she didn’t want to hurt him.  She didn’t want to move on too quickly, for fear he may be watching her from above.  She needed him to know how much she loved, loves him.  Or was it loved?

But Rory’s thoughts were rudely interrupted by a tap on her shoulder.  She spun around to reveal Jess, once more.  She wasn’t sure if she was happy that he actually had followed her, but she tried not to show it.

“What?” She asked as though she needed to be somewhere, when in actuality, there was nowhere to go but back to her apartment.

“You know, you are almost more stubborn than your mother.”

She felt a twinge of sadness when he mentioned Lorelai.  “Not possible.” Rory kept on walking, faster than a normal person would walk, but Jess’s large strides kept him with her.

“Rory, you are being selfish.  Just because you were hurt doesn’t give you the right to hurt all the people who care about you.  Your mother misses you so much.  She has been a wreck without her daughter and best friend.  She actually gave up coffee, saying that without you there to share the experience with, it’s lost all importance and meaning.  And Luke…it’s like he lost a daughter too.”

Rory didn’t say anything in response, but she could feel so many memories coming back to her.  She missed home.  She missed her mother, she missed Luke, she missed Lane, she missed Sookie, she missed Kirk.  She missed Jess.

“I miss you too.”  Jess continued shyly.  Rory was caught off guard by his revelation, and she wanted to say it back…but then what would happen.  She couldn’t go back.  Not after all of this time.

When Rory didn’t say anything back, she could see the obvious sting she had caused through Jess’s eyes.  And for the first time since she had seen him today, she studied him.  He had changed too.  His eyes didn’t glow with mysteriousness anymore.  And he looked tired, uncommonly tired for a twenty-seven year old.  He seemed so much wiser, just by looking at his face.  He exuberated a sense of honest truth, like he had seen a war.  Or lost a friend.

Although he was hurt by her blow off, Jess tried not to show his emotions.  He had learned long ago that nothing but pain came from expressing his true self.  And that’s why he told himself that the only reason he had come to get Rory was because of Lorelai’s adamant begging.  He knew that he didn’t need all of that hurt to come flooding back to him. 

He kept on trying but his anger and frustration took over.  He had been heart, and even though he still cared about her, she was beginning to piss him off.  Unfortunately, his anger didn’t clearly display his thoughts and intentions.

“Fine, Rory.  I don’t care what you do, it is your life.  It’s too bad you’re wasting it away with out your family.  Don’t do me any favors, I don’t need or want anything from you. But Lorelai does.  I’m going back east tomorrow, I’m not going to wait around for you forever.  Here,” He handed her a piece of paper.  “This is my hotel, room number and phone number.”

She took the paper in her hands and read it over a few times. 

“Stop thinking only of yourself.” He didn’t mean for it to come out so harshly, but it had.  He offered her one last look before walking in the opposite direction.  Rory didn’t even watch him walk away, for she was puzzled by his hurtful attitude.  ‘Why had he suddenly changed?’ She asked herself.  He seemed to hate her, but Rory couldn’t think why.  Was it because she hadn’t said she missed him too? Or because he was still upset about what had happened all those years ago?  But it couldn’t be the latter, because they had talked about it, and become friends after that. 

But even though she did care, she didn’t want to.  She missed them all, but wouldn’t admit it.  So she threw the paper into the nearest wastebasket and walked on as though she didn’t have a care in the world.

But she did.  She cared way too damn much.