Disclaimer:  I do not own these characters.

Summary:  After the tragic death of her fiancé, Rory changed the path that she was following only to meet an old friend who might just be the one to ignite past dreams and feelings. Future literati.

Rory walked down the street, all the time thinking about that small piece of paper she threw away.  Was it a mistake? She certainly hoped it wasn’t.  But she figured there was no use thinking about it now, after all, the paper was probably at the bottom of gross thrown out food and cigarette butts.  But…she couldn’t help thinking about throwing away what was most likely her last opening for a trip home. 

She bitterly pushed open the door to her apartment building and immediately felt bad for taking out her feelings on the door.  So what if it was an inanimate object, it still didn’t deserve it.

She smiled politely to the people she passed on the way to her elevator and quickly pushed ‘close door’.  Rory used her time alone in the elevator to attempt to figure out what had happened over the course of the day.

Rory had grieved.  She was still grieving, she reminded herself, but in actuality, she hadn’t thought about the accident for at least half an hour now.  Not much, but on the anniversary of his death, she should be thinking about him more.  Less about Jess. 

But she couldn’t help herself.  Jess had come back, unwanted, and turned everything upside down.  Now she truly did want to go home.  Try to get back to her life before she met her fiancé.  Go back in time.  Then maybe she could do things differently, and not just with the trip to London and the fight.  Maybe she wouldn’t choose him.  Forego some of that drama she had with Jess when she hadn’t chosen him.  Maybe she would choose Jess.  Things would have certainly turned out much differently.  She could almost imagine it too.  Sipping coffee at a small coffee shop in New York.  Avoiding the conformity of Starbucks.  He would be writing novels, just like he is now.  She would be writing for The New York Times. 

It was then that Rory realized just how unhappy she was.  She missed the love of her life, but was he really her soulmate?  She had thought so then.  She had thought so this morning…Now? She hated herself for doubting it.  Of course he was.  Is.  Was?

But that wasn’t all of it.  Her job at the university, while it was a good job, wasn’t fulfilling her dream. 

Dejected, she walked off of the elevator and to her apartment door.  She searched through her purse for her key, and along the way, found a small piece of paper.  But she decided she would get inside before reading it.

Once inside, she carefully opened the folded paper to reveal the name of Jess’s hotel, his room number and phone number.  She could have sworn that she had thrown it out.  Was she losing her mind?  Had the paper magically floated back into her purse?  Or had be been smart and slipped it in there knowing she would throw out the first one?  She considered it was probably the last possibility, not wanting to believe it was fate, or that she was going crazy. 

Rory sat down at her desk chair and pondered the power over her life she had right now.  It was her second chance of some sorts.  But what to do?

She put the paper down on the desk and walked into her bathroom where she planned to take a bath.  She would try to let the stresses she was fostering escape.  But she didn’t count on it. 

As the tub filled up with hot water, she looked at herself in the steamy mirror, but she couldn’t see in front of her.  Just like her future.  She couldn’t see where she was going.  With one shaky hand, she brushed aside the dew from the mirror.  Her face was clear now, but not recognizable.  A single tear rolled down the face in the mirror, but Rory didn’t even know that she had been crying. 

After carefully stepping into the tub, she forced herself to come to a conclusion.  Who would she betray?

********

Rory walked over to the phone where she slowly dialed in the familiar number.  Her fingers were numb and she hadn’t realized that she was shaking until now.  She thought maybe it was a sign, but her fingers continued to punch the keys and she put the phone to her ear. 

One ring.  I can’t go through with it.

Another ring.  Hang up now, you can still do it.

Another ring.  It’s gonna be too late, now’s your chance.

The fourth ring.  Why haven’t you hung up yet?

“Hello?” Rory heard and cursed herself for not hanging up.  Now she had to go through with it.

           “Hi, it’s Rory.”

Pause.

           “I’m doing ok, thanks.  You?” If ok now means hellish, Rory thought bitterly. 

Pause. A long pause.

           “Yeah, I probably should.”  Rory forlornly twisted her engagement ring off.  She looked at it closely and put it on the desk.

Pause.

           “Oh, you saw?” She asked surprised.

Pause.

           “Yeah, well, I’m not sure exactly.” Rory admitted.

Another long pause.

           “That’s what I think I need to do too.”  Rory sighed. 

Pause.

           “Thanks for understanding.” She thanked.

Pause.

           “No, really, I appreciate it.”

Pause.

           “I’ll see you soon.” Rory closed off the conversation and her call-ee hung up. 

           Rory herself hung up the phone, contemplating whether or not she did the right thing.  Whether or not she was going to do the right thing.  She stood up from her chair and wandered into her bedroom where she picked up several outfits and necessities.  Then she moved onto the bathroom, where she began throwing everything she could into her duffel bag.  And then on to the bookcase where she grabbed some books she felt she would need.  Hemmingway. Ayn Rynd.  Rory picked up her laptop and briefcase then put on her coat.  Her hair was still wet and she was in sweats, but she didn’t bother.  She felt as though she were a fugitive on the run.  And actually, she was on the run.  She had been running from all of her problems for a year now. 

           Rory gathered everything together and turned off the light.  It was then that she remembered that she left her engagement ring.  After a moment of reflection, she opened the door to reveal the bright light from the hallway.  The ambiance made this whole ordeal seem like an epiphany.  Opening a door to a bright future, Rory only hoped. 

The only way to move forward is to not look back.  At all. On anything. 

She walked into the hallway and shut the door behind her.

           The engagement ring still sat on her desk.

********

Rory paid the cabbie and walked into the familiar building.  She had actually lived there for some time earlier that year.  She boarded the elevator and pressed the button for her destination.  She watched the numbers illuminate at the elevator slowly ascended.  At the seventh floor, Rory hopped off with all of her belongings in tow.  She walked very slowly until she got to the door. 

After placing her things on the floor, she knocked three times and then let her hand fall to her side.  She was just about to knock again when she heard footsteps and she pinched her left thigh to keep herself prepared.

The door opened and Rory gasped.

“Hi.” Rory said.