Chapter Seven: Lorelai

Cue mission impossible theme:

Do do dodo do do dodo

Do do dodo do do dodo

Lorelai –still crouching from her spot behind the gazebo – twirled.

Do do doooooooooooooooo

Do do dooooooooooooo

Do do doooooooo

DODO

She jumped on the last one and resumed her position.

Lorelai was wearing combat wear with a dark green bandana and boot polish stripes on her face.

She raised her binoculars to her eyes and squinted.

Time: 1300 hours

Status: stiiiiiill studying.

Lorelai sighed.

C’mon… do something interesting…

She saw Jess lean forward…

Ooooh…

She saw Rory lean forward…

I knew it…

She saw them both take a cheese fry.

God dammit.

Mmm cheese fries…

Lorelai licked her lips as she looked down at her pad.

She pulled her pencil from behind her ear and began to write:

1300: both ate cheese fry.

She read her list over once again.

1000: Rory enters diner

1001: Rory gets coffee – atta girl

1010: Jess comes down stairs –boy, should have known he wouldn’t be punctual

1011: Jess smirks.

1015: both start studying

1016: Rory sips coffee

1017: Jess smirks

1018: Rory sips coffee

1019: Jess smirks

1020: Rory sips coffee

1021: Jess smirks

1022: Rory sips coffee

1023: Jess smirks

1024: a book is opened – material yet unidentified (suspected porno magazines)

Hmmmm…

Lorelai sighed once more, pulled her binoculars up to her eyes again and watched the two teens.

Well, 99, we are what we are. I'm a secret agent, trained to be cold vicious and savage…

*cccccccccccccccccccccchhhh*

“Willywonka– status still the same – outside market – clear view of the two (they are eating cheese fries)!- over”

*cccccccccccccccccccccchhhh*

Lorelai picked up her walkie talkie.

“Roger that Charlie – meet you in the Diner for coffee at 1800 hours. Updates will occur every half hour until then – over.”

*cccccccccccccccccccccchhhh*

“Oh, but Lorelai! I’m meeting Jackson for lunch in 10 minutes!”

*cccccccccccccccccccccchhhh*

Lorelai frowned.

“Sookie! You have to stay in character- Commando Bob would not be impressed! You have to say ‘roger that’ and ‘over’!”

*cccccccccccccccccccccchhhh*

“Sorry!! Oh – I mean – roger that! I thought it was enough that we had code names!  Oh-- over!”

*cccccccccccccccccccccchhhh*

“Hmph- fine. I’ll see you later, honey!”

Lorelai moved stealthily around so she was directly opposite the Diner, crouching behind a bush in front of the gazebo.

“LORELAI!”

“GAH!”

In an attempt to turn around and hide the binoculars/pad/pencil/walkie talkie, Lorelai hit her head on the gazebo fencing and landed in a heap on the floor.

Mmmmphhhh

“Head, ouch, pain, who..?” She squinted up and glared at the offender.

Luke towered over her with his eye on the binoculars.

“Just, what the hell do you think you are doing?”

Lorelai looked at Luke, then down, then at her binoculars, then her pad, then her pencil and then up at Luke again.

“Is there anything I possibly say to make you think I’m doing something harmless and innocent?”

“NO!”

He grabbed Lorelai’s arm and heaved her up.

“Heeeeeeeeey, watch it…”

She tried to stand, but her legs buckled and she found herself sprawled onto the ground.

She looked up as Luke leaned over her

Prettttty sky…

Pretttty Luke…

Hey… I didn’t know Luke had three heads…

Luke had kneeled next to her, “Hey, are you ok? What’s wrong? Can I get you something?”

Lorelai frowned

Why’s he being so nice?

“I’m fine! Fine fine fine as a fresh daisy growing in a gravy boat!”

Okay, that didn’t come out right …

Luke just frowned at her.

“Can you stand up?”

“Mmmmmph.”

“I’ll give you coffee.”

Lorelai sat up quickly.

“Really?”

“No.”

She pouted, “Mean.”

“Yeah, but you’re sitting up aren’t you?”

Lorelai huffed and folded her arms.

Luke stood up and walked into the gazebo, “Are you coming?”

 Dirty!

Lorelai smirked, “Yeah.”

They sat down on the bench. Luke was reading through her pad.

Heeeeeeey when did he get that pad??

“Heeeeeeeeey when did you get that pad??”

“It’s yours.”

“True story!”

“What the hell did you think you were doing?”

Okay.  Lie = Luke will think you’re a jackass.

           Tell the truth = Luke will think you’re a jackass.

          Run like hell = Luke won’t have time to think I’m a jackass.

Okay…on 3…2…

“Lorelai!”

Rats!

“Yes, Lukey?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“But it’s cute!”

“No, its not”

“Yes, it is”

“No, its not”

“Yes, it is”

“Okay, stop.”

“Awwww, mean.”

Luke sighed, “Lorelai, what were you doing? You were hiding behind the gazebo wearing army clothing and looking through binoculars!”

“Okay, I don’t think ‘spying’ is a politically correct term, so– “

“Lorelai, why were you spying?”

“Because, I’ve been hired by the FBI to investigate-“

“No.”

“Because Taylor has a new festival called ‘spy on your neighbour’ and –“

“No”

“Because I wanted to prove to Rory that Jess was no good…”

“Lorelai!”

“I told the truth that time!”

“I know!”

Luke has gone very red…he’s doing the hand gesture thing again…

The pulse on the forehead is back… uh oh…

Lorelai looked puzzled, “So then why –“

“Don’t you trust your daughter?”

“Of course I do, it’s just –“

“Him you don’t trust, right?”

Lorelai narrowed her eyes at him.

“Look, since when do you know the exact workings of my mind – you aren’t my husband! You aren’t my boyfriend! And if you’re going to react like that, you sure aren’t my friend either!!!!”

Luke grabbed her shoulders and shook her.

“Lorelai! Stop! Why are you doing this?  Jess is just a kid, for Christ's sake!  What happened to nurturing children for them to grow up into normal individuals? You need to let Rory make her own mistakes in life!  That's how people learn—from their mistakes!”

And then, a very rare thing happened to Lorelai.

She was speechless.

Well, not that rare – I couldn’t talk when I was born .. so technically I was speechless then! And then there was that time when I had laryngitis and I couldn’t talk for a whole month! I was speechless then too…

Unbeknownst to Lorelai, her eyes had filled with tears.

But.. Rory is my baby.

She needs me to help her.

She can’t do everything without me – she’ll get hurt!

I can’t ever let her get hurt! It was bad enough when Dean and her broke up for the first time, when Jess and Rory break up she’ll be devastated – she actually loves him, she’ll be crushed….

…

Whoa.

Back up the truck, Sparky.

Rory loves Jess?

Of course…

Of course! I don’t know why didn’t see it before…

It’s got all the Hallmarks of it… the mentionitis, the small smiles, the stolen glances…

I should have known. After all, I fell for my own personal Jess when I was her age – I guess it’s only natural that she –

She felt herself being pulled into Luke’s arms and she hugged him back with all her might.

She whispered into his shoulder, “Thank you.”

She only felt him squeeze her tighter in return.

Before she knew it, she was inside the Diner, sipping a large coffee, watching the two teens once more.

“So, I have to write this short story for my English Lit class and I am totally stuck!”

Lorelai pouted.

She didn’t tell me she’d been having problems in school… I could have helped…

Jess sat back in his chair, “Well, well, well.. the teacher needs to be taught – is that it?”

Smartass… don’t make fun of my baby!!! Why I oughta…

“Yeah, and I know you are the closest thing I have to a creative writer, so…”

Closest thing she has to a creative writer???

I’m creative!

I am MRS CREATIVE.

No wait… MS. CREATIVE!

If I was not creative, would I decorate and name inanimate objects?!  NO!

“Okay, what do you need help with?”

Why is he so mean? He should totally-

Hang on one offspring-hating minute…

He’s being nice…!!

What the hell?

“Okay, so: I got halfway – the topic was –“ Lorelai sat and observed their conversation, horrified.

Jess is helping her!

Jess, the town hoodlum, is helping Rory, the smartest girl in Stars Hollow, with homework.

And he was being nice about it!

He is making notes, giving suggestions, feedback, advice, support…

She poised her critical eyes on him and watched him as he talked.

He seems …

 Content?

Relaxed?

Happy?

Pleasant?

Polite?

Funny?

Smart?

….Younger?

Okay.

So maybe he wasn’t Spawn of Satan.

His eyes are lit up and he seems so full of life while he’s talking to her – maybe this whole tutoring is a new leaf for him…a revolution for hoodlums worldwide!

She beamed and started walking over to the two.

“Hey Rory! Hi Jess!”

The moment she had spoken a word, Jess’ eyes went blank.

Lorelai sighed.

Well, if you can’t have revolution… I’ll take evolution, any day!

Hey, it may take eons to happen – but…

She took one last look at Jess before she went back to her coffee.

… At least it’ll happen someday.