Chapter 14

"Hey guys," Shea greeted as Rory and Jess strolled into the bookstore together.

"Hey!" Rory walked over and gave him a kiss.

Jess rolled his eyes, going into the back without so much as a word to Shea.

"Did I do something?" Shea asked Rory, frowning.

"Nope. He’s just in a mood," she assured him.

"You sure?"

"Positive. So what have you been up to? Sorry we just left you like that, but I honestly didn’t know that he was going to Stars Hollow, too."

"You didn’t?"

"No. Or I wouldn’t have gone, trust me."

"You don’t like Jess?"

Oh great. Back to the big, confusing questions.

"I do, it’s just...it’s a long story, and it’s complicated."

"Try me."

"I’d rather not, if that’s okay." Rory raised her eyes to his. "Sorry, but even after five years, it’s still kind of a sore subject."

"Did you two used to go out?"

Rory’s breath caught in her throat. "Almost," she admitted.

"What stopped you?" Shea pressed, not entirely sure that he wanted to know the answers to the questions he was asking.

Rory bit her lip. "It was a big misunderstanding."

Since she didn’t seem too eager to give out anymore information, Shea decided to let it drop. For now.

"Okay."

"So, look, I’ll take over here. Why don’t you go see if Jess needs help with anything?"

"Good idea."

Rory watched as Shea headed to the back in search of Jess. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts, she didn’t notice she had a customer, until he cleared his throat impatiently.

Rory forced a smile on her face and went to work.

"Hey."

Rory glanced at Shea. It was closing time, finally, and to her relief, there had been no bloodshed. "Hey," she echoed.

"Need a ride? Jess told me you left your car back in Stars Hollow."

"Jess said he’d give me a ride," Rory replied without thinking.

He sighed. "Yeah, okay."

"Don’t be upset. I just need to talk to him about something."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." Rory bit her lip. He was obviously looking for her to say more. "Um, next weekend is my mom’s birthday," she lied, "and I was thinking of throwing her a surprise part. Jess was going to help me plan it."

"Isn’t next weekend the carnival?"

"Yes..." Rory said slowly.

"Just checking. So I’ll see you...soon."

"Right," Rory responded, feeling a little guilty.

The feeling went away, however, when Jess walked over. "Ready?" he asked.

She nodded, leading the way outside. Shea and Jess followed her, and Jess stopped to close up. Shea impulsively went over and kissed Rory goodbye, catching her by surprise. She smiled faintly, her eyes following him as he walked to his car.

Jess turned around and locked eyes with her. "Ready?" he asked again.

They walked over to his car and he opened her door for her, closing it when she was settled. As soon as he opened his door, he told her, "We need to talk."

She stiffened. "Alright..." she said tentatively. "I’m listening."

"No, this isn’t a one-sided conversations. You’re going to talk, too," he told her.

Rory nodded. "Alright," she repeated.

"Okay." Jess sat there for a few moments, trying to put his thoughts into words. "Okay," he started again. "I know you’re with Shea, but I’m going to say this anyway."

Rory ducked her head, smiling.

"What?" Jess asked.

"You, uh, you rhymed," she answered. He just stared at her, and her smile vanished. "And it doesn’t seem as funny anymore," she said quietly, her face turning pink.

"Anyway," Jess went on, "I think by now it’s obvious how I feel about you. But it’s not so obvious how you feel about me. So I’m asking you now. If you don’t think of me like that anymore, if that kiss the other day was a mistake, then okay. That’s fine. But if that’s the case, then maybe you shouldn’t work at the Corner. Sooner or later, someone’s bound to say something, or something’s bound to happen..." Jess took a breath. "And I don’t think I could handle it."

He looked over at Rory, who was staring at the key in the ignition, wishing she were anywhere but here. She was speechless.

"Come on, I told you this wasn’t just a one-sided conversation," Jess said lightly. "Any thoughts?"

She raised her eyes, meeting his. Then she slowly searched his face, wondering what she should say...what she should do...

"Well I guess I got my answer," Jess mumbled after a moment, starting the car.

Rory shook her head, grabbing his arm and pulling him over to her. Their lips met in a soft kiss. Rory started to pull away, to see his reaction, but Jess wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer.

They both lost themselves in the kiss for a few seconds, before alarms started going off in Rory’s head and she pulled away.

They locked eyes again, and Jess turned off the car.

"Okay..."

About half an hour later, Rory stood next to Jess at her apartment door. Needless to say, they hadn’t resolved much of anything after the kiss. Rory was finally able to admit out loud that, yes, she had feelings for Jess. It wasn’t much of a surprise to Jess, so he didn’t make a big deal out of it. He basically asked her ‘What now?’, to which she promptly answered the usual ‘I don’t know’. So now they stood at her door, confused as ever as to what happened next.

"Do you, um, want some coffee?" she offered.

"I better not," he replied, after thinking about it.

"Oh."

Jess leaned over and gave her a slow kiss, taking her hands in his. "I’ll call you tomorrow before I come pick you up."

"Oh," Rory said softly, her head spinning. "I mean, okay."

He grinned, lightly dropping her hands. "See you."

And with that, he was gone.

Now she was alone with her thoughts. And they weren’t good thoughts, either. Well, they were, but—they weren’t thoughts that she should be having. Or so she thought. She should be thinking about Shea, about how much fun they’ll have at the carnival next Friday.

Instead, she thought about Jess. What he said, what she said, the kiss—she replayed the entire evening in her mind, trying to figure out her feelings. It was like trying to piece together a puzzle, only she was short a few pieces. She didn’t know how to fit it all together, how to balance everything so no one got hurt, and everyone was happy.

What she need was to talk to her mom. She’d understand...

"You what? You kissed him again?"

"Kind of, yeah," Rory admitted.

"Oh Rory."

"Well? You should have heard him. He said some things that really made sense, and...I don’t know—"

"I told you. What did I tell you? I should’ve had a bet going, I could have a fortune right about now."

"Mom..."

"Right, okay, back to you. So is there no more Shea? Because he was pretty cute."

"Not helping."

"Oh. Then I take it back. He is not cute. Shea, gross, bleh."

Rory laughed. She had called her mother in hope for answers, or at least help, on what to do. She should have expected the teasing to come along with it.

"I’m serious, Mom. What do I do?"

"Oh no...I’m not falling for that again, uh-uh. I’m staying out of it. All I have to say is if you want Jess, go get ‘em."

"Thanks, that helps a lot," Rory said dryly. "Anything else?"

"Think about what happened with Dean."

Rory was quiet for a moment. "I know," she said finally.

"Do you love Jess?"

Rory sucked in a breath, the phone shaking in her hand. Did she love Jess? Her rings clattered noisily against the phone. "I, um...I..."

"Do you love Shea?"

"Well, no. I’ve only know him a—"

"Take that under consideration," Lorelai said lightly.

"I will. Believe me, I will."

"I expect an answer by the time you come home on Friday."

"We’ll see."

"That’s my girl. Ooh, I need coffee," Lorelai exclaimed suddenly.

"Alright. Talk to you later," Rory laughed.

"Bye sweets," Lorelai replied cheerfully.

Rory hung up the phone and went into the kitchen, making herself a cup of coffee. She sipped it thoughtfully, pondering her next move with Jess. Or if there would be a next move, even.

"I need to talk to Shea."

She figured she should be totally honest with him and give him all the facts, before getting serious with him. Unfortunately, either way, she didn’t see their ‘relationship’ going that far.

She went into her room and opened the top drawer of her dressed, pulling out a small box and setting it on her bed. She fell onto her bed, stretching out comfortably, before opening the box and peering into it. She dumped out its contents.

There, now scattered on her bed in front of her, were pictures, a bracelet, ticket stubs, et cetera. Things that had to do with the times she had spent with Jess.

She picked up one of the pictures, her thoughts going back to the day Jess had given her that picture.

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"Oh, don’t take it back now," he teased slyly.

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Rory lifted the charm bracelet that Jess had given her, pushing aside the other random things that lay in a mess before her. She hadn’t seen it in ages. She put the bracelet on her wrist, holding her hand out in front of her so she could admire it.

Smiling faintly, she went to get ready for bed.