Chapter 1
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It's a lit fic, I own no other characters unless I make up some - this may happen but I will forewarn you it it will! Read on my friends, feedback is always appreciated!

Italics mean thoughts. Bold means words that are stressed. Normal text is narration? Etc you know the drill

Chapter one: psychiatrist to table four please?

 

This has to be it. I am certifiably insane.

No, really. I am.

Here I am, in our nations capital, staring at a mirror.

Here I am, in our nations capital, trying to concentrate reallllllly hard on picturing myself with smaller ears - hoping that if I concentrated hard enough, they would shrink.

I always hated my ears. I guess I am trying to distract myself from logical thought. My mind just keeps going back to one thing. Jess. Its like some psychotic merry go round (interesting that when I think of merry go rounds and something psychotic I can picture my mother singing... hmm) I swear everything relates back to Jess. Reminds me of one of those old trains... you know... chuga-chuga-chuga-chuga-chuga... etc.?

Well now it's jessachuga-jessachuga-jessachuga-whataboutdeanachuga...hmmm

My nose looks abnormally large today...

I should be out there, with Paris and Jamie, looking at parliament buildings, monumental statues, violent riots and protests...

Actually, I can see those in stars hollow - easy as pie, all you have to do is ... steal a gnome... or some money from a charity box...or find some police tape and draw an outline of a crime scene outside Taylor's market ... or fracture a girls wrist... or just be names Jess Mariano.

Jess.

Hmmm.

OK, wow this mirror thing is starting to creep me out. I thought of Jess and I smile then pout.

What is the point of that, anyhow? Smiling then pouting. How come bottom lips are always bigger than top lips?

I should be doing something more than this.

Did you know that if you stare into the mirror long enough - your face stops looking normal, its just becomes all these shapes... you're not sure whether they are good or bad...

OK, told you so. I am certifiably insane. I have to move

 

Rory moves over into the living area of the hotel room. Grabbing a stack of letters she makes her way to her bed and flops down it. She rifles through them, checking...

dean, dean, dean, mom, dean, lane ...oooh Sookie!!!... Mom, dean, dean, dean, dean... hey! Luke! ... Dean, mom, mom, mom, dean, dean, dean... damn.

She drops the pile of letters, unopened, and lies face down on her bed.

She takes a deep breath and sighs, then heaves her body up and grabs a pen and paper, writes her reply to address on the top right hand corner of the page...

dear Jess,

...

...

...

... Damn.

. OK.

I can do this...

Hi jess...

It's Rory.

Ack! DUH! Of course it's me - I put the reply address...

OK. Right.

...

Jess,

.

 

 

 

I loathe myself.

I can't even start - let alone finish, let alone WRITE AT ALL - a letter...

But what do I say?

Jess I love you but I have a boyfriend- no hard feelings?

Somehow I don't think that's gonna work.

Not that I don't want to be with Jess... oh boy, after that kiss... wow

Who knew a kiss could be so... passionate yet gentle... intense yet soothing...

Rory groaned and muffled herself with her pillow. She turned her head to face the window.

deans' kisses are never like that. Hell I get more passionate kisses from my mother ... I want more of jess... but I want to keep dean.

Man I'm reallllllly living up to the gilmore dynasty here, aren't I?

The fickle gilmores of old would be rejoicing in knowing the legacy is being passed on.

Well don't worry, I'll carry on the torch- for sure!

Dean is... simple. Simple is nice! I like nice... dean is secure. Dean would never hurt me, dean would never cheat on me, and dean would always be there for me... my mom likes dean?

Rory rolled over and leaped out of bed, opened up the other window and gazed out at the gardens.

<I> jess would like it here. It's so quiet - great for reading...

Jess is so unlike dean... he's so...amazing. That's the only word I can use to describe him. Just hearing his name makes my palms tingle and my knees weak... dean never did that...Jess is... well...everything!

He's funny, he's smart, he reads, he challenges me, he stimulates me... in more ways that one

Rory allowed herself a small private smile as her mind began to wander...

She was violently brought out of her mellow reverie when suddenly the phone rang.

could it be…him?

Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?

She picked up the receiver, with a tentative "hello?"

"You have to come home," a female voice barked down the phone.

unless he's had some serious issues over these past weeks that I had no idea about and will be very disappointed in... I don't think its him...so it must be

"mom?"

She heard her mother intake a deep breath before starting, "You're gone and the house is quiet and Bill Maher's canceled. The name of the show was Politically Incorrect for God's sake. Didn't anybody read the title? He was supposed to say those things, damnit! "

Rory rolled her eyes, "You had another dream."

A small, pleading affirmative was her answer.

Rory sat down again and leaned back in her chair.

I guess my problems will have to wait a little while...

"The doctor is in."

 

 

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