Chapter Six: to boldy go where no phone call (on the gilmore line… except for lorelai's cellphone… welll.. maybe we should just rephrase this…) to boldy go where no rory phone call has gone before!

rory sat up on her bed and pulled 'a farewell to arms' from her nightstand.

As rory was standing up ready to escape - she heard a faint singing emerging from the bathroom -

"my plan is working to my ultimate desiiiiiiign,

soon I'll have that little mermaid

and the ocean will be miiiiiiiiiiiiine

muahahahahahah MUAHAHAHAHHA BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH'

rory poked her head out her bedroom door,

"MOM?!"

lorelai appeared - wrapped in a towel,

"mmm?"

rory's eyes narrowed,

"were you pretending to be ursula-as-pretty-woman in little mermaid again?"

lorelai pursed her lips and her eyes dodged rory's,

"mmmm… no?"

"you even did the leaning against the mirror thing, didn't you?"

"no!"

"yes.."

"no!"

"yes…"

"no!"

"noooo"

"yes!"

rory jumped with glee, "HAH! Got you!"

lorelai punched the air,

"rats. Heeeeey what are you doing out of your room! Only meal times and bathroom breaks!"

"mom you were role-playing… I had to interrupt!"

lorelai pouted, puffed and pursed - then walked away muttering under her breath…

She heard water running through the pipes in the ceiling,

Rory ran out of her room and grabbed the chordless phone

She dialled from memory as she ran back into her own room.

A voice answered,

"thankyou for calling the hellmouth - satan speaking - how can I help you?"

rory rolled her eyes,

"jess."

"rory?"

"painful."

"ah… hemmingway"

"painful."

"just give it one more shot - I'm telling you it's worth it."

"no. worth it is when I caught you singing britney spears into your hairbrush after I climbed all the way up the drainpipe at lukes."

"may I remind you that that scenario has not or will not ever happen?"

"one can wish, my friend!"

she heard a laugh, " and what exactly would I be wearing in this 'wish' of yours?"

rory blushed and checked her mother was still in the shower,

"oh you know… a towel…"

"just a towel?"

"maybe…"

she could just picture him- naked- smirking at her down the phone,

"but, miss gilmore, what ever would happen if my towel were to fall off in your prescence?"

"I'd just have to... help you out... then wouldn't I?"

"huh.. and just exactly how would you do that?"

rory grinned as she pulled the phone closer and whispered into it- she waited for jess' response…

she heard a thud, then

"sorry - sorry I dropped the phone"

"lets hope you're not this clumsy when in person!"

there was a slight pause before a husky, "don't worry - I am very well trained In that area…"

she listened intently as he told her exactly what he would do 'when in person.'

"well, aren't you a naughty, naughty boy?"

"I'd like to think so - how would you punish me?"

she reclined on her bed, idly picking at the comforter, as she described to him each and every think she would do to him 'as punishment.'

"well, miss gilmore - it seems as if I've underestimated you, I mean I knew those chilton tutors said you were 'wordy' but this…"

"makes you think where all lorelai's money is going!" a new voice barked down the phone,

rory gasped in horror, "luke?!"

"uncle luke, this is a private call - would you mind?"

rory heard a scoff, "yeah, a private call so private it could be rated R! jess- get down here NOW! Rory - you better not give me a reason to tell lorelai because if - "

"luke, please, I -"

lorelai walked in,

"rory, you're not supposed to be on the phone! Is it luke? I told him to call - give it to me!"

rory's turned ash-white

She was speechless as she handed the phone to her mother.

Lorelai grinned evilly and said into the phone,

"gee gads, spock! An alien broke into the ship and he killed off the captain! Beam me up scotty, the aliens are here to bodly probe where no man has ever probed be- " she frowned, "he hung up on me!"